Drunk-Tank-Pink Faberge Egg

A Personal History of a Thoughtful Mouse

By Drunk-Tank-Pink Faberge Egg

(art by Reddit User L0g00)

Privet, Chitatel'! My name is Drunk-Tank-Pink Faberge Egg, and you seem to have stumbled upon my auto-biography. Pozdravleniya! What you have in your paws is very special. It is a tradition in my family for each of us to write something like this on our seventeenth birthday. My mother says it's because, a long time ago, we couldn't write at all! Kak Grustno! As such, it is truly a blessing and a privilege for us to record our lives. To write, is to be like Descendant-Kind. And it is a very good thing to be like them! They have created such wonderful things, and it is an honor to follow their ways! 

A little about my family, now. Our lineage begins, historically, with Purple-Mountain's-Majesty Faberge Egg. She was not the first mysh' to set foot into the world of the Descendants, but she was the first of our family to do something truly awe-inspiring. 

One day, a long, long time ago, Purple-Mountain's-Majesty went out seeking adventure and treasure. She was in search of a symbol for our family. (She had heard this was common practice among Descendants.) She spent years searching for this symbol, and she eventually found it: in the den of a Dragon's Hoard! Deystvitel'no potryasayushche! As the legend goes, sitting atop its pile of gold was the symbol Purple-Mountain's-Majesty sought after: a beautifully jewel-adorned faberge egg. 

My grandmother, Baby-Blue-Eyes Faberge Egg, said Purple-Mountain's-Majesty fought the "wicked creature" with nothing but the piece of wood her Descendant companion (yes, she was THAT cool!) used to pick his teeth with. My mother, Drake's Neck Green Faberge Egg, claims she used all of her wit and all of her cunning to steal the dragon's egg right from under its nose! I like to think she just asked nicely. It has become a bit of a tradition in and of itself for us to imagine in our own way how she accomplished such a feat. Imagination is so fun, after all! 

No matter how she got her egg, she set a precedent within us: in honor of her skill, her bravery, and her legacy, we became the Faberge Egg family. Typically, most Musin have shorter names. Net my! We tried shortening things down once, my Great Great Grandmother, Xanthous Faberge Egg is proof of this! She died very young, when her daughter, Candy-Apple-Red Faberge Egg was born. Recognizing the omen, Xanthous' mother, Rose-Quartz-Grey Faberge Egg, named Candy-Apple-Red like Purple-Mountain-Majesty, and the tradition has been kept alive ever since! 

Now, a little about me: I stand at a happy and healthy sixty centimeters. My fur is grey like my father, Viola, with an undertone of white like my mother. I have a cute little heart-shaped-mark on my left cheek. My father says I have the cutest pink eyes, a supposed rarity in my family. Mother says it is a sign I am destined for great things! I do hope she's right. 

Unlike most Musin litters, I was born an only child. My parents say they found an abandoned Blue Jay (a type of bird!) nest with a single egg resting inside. They assumed it had been abandoned, so they took it home with them because it was so pretty. Then, before they had a chance to cook it, it began to hatch. But inside was no little baby birdy… it was mne! 

Other than my unique start in life, I'd say I had a very normal childhood, and I was well adored by my parents. YA byl poistine blagoslovlon! I spent most of my childhood living in Babblebrook, and my young adult years have been spent - gasp - lost at sea! It is to my dismay that I must admit I had been separated from my parents when we evacuated Aevos… Eto menya ochen' ogorchayet… 

But, I did not meet a bad end there, no mouse-ir-ee! The Great Jay saved my life by showing me salvation! She sent me one of Her special helpers to keep me safe during the time of turmoil. I found Her helper on a broken log during a bad storm, and I took shelter in it. Next thing I know, I'm waking up, and I'm taking quite the tumble! And then… SPLASH! The wind was so strong in that terrible storm, that it blew that log right into the ocean! I thought I was a goner… but The Great Jay must have something truly zamechatel'nyy planned out for me. There were even an assortment of creepies and crawlies I used for bait to keep myself fed! 

For the first few days, The Great Jay's special helper kept me company. He kept me feeling sane. But, even Blue Jays have their families, and as much as I adored his talking, he had to go back to Aevos… Takova zhizn'. Sometimes we have people to help us, and sometimes, we can only help ourselves. We Musin are a resourceful folk, and I have no doubt The Great Jay knew that fact, too. I do not know where the seas are taking me, but I have faith that I will get to where I need to go. Khorosho imet' veru! 

Truthfully, I do not mind being lonely while I am. Mother says our times of odinochestvo are the best times to think. And I love to think! I think about lots of stuff all the time. I think this might be a sign… Father says it's always good to keep watch for signs and omens. Maybe, when I find the rest of moi lyudi, I will be able to tell them all about the Great Jay, and all the wonderful ways She has helped guide me through my life. It certainly gives me something to write about! And I do very much love writing, traditions aside. I can only hope I don't run out of paper or, goodness gracious, drop my journal in the water! 

[!] The rest of the document is water logged, its ink smudged and utterly illegible.  

The Woodland Watch

"For hearth and home"

Babblebrook has too long been left unprotected, the gates often wide open for foes to enter the village.
I, Boulder Cutton, have been appointed by King Patches Runeflower to found and lead Babblebrook's new defending force:
The Woodland Watch
The Watch will perform regular patrols of Babblebrook's lands, man the watchtowers, walls and gates,

and will serve as the primary military force for the highland musin in times of need.

The Woodland Watch will operate with a specific set of roles, all of which will be detailed below:

Brookguard - The leader of the Woodland Watch

Hearthguard - The second in command

Watchmouse - The average guard

All newly reqruited musin will begin their journey in The Watch as a Watchmouse, being promoted
at the current Brookguard's descretion.

There will also be the guard-title of "Sparrow", bestowed upon any member of The Watch which has showed
exceptional valour, up to the descretion of the current Brookguard. The title bestowed serves as an identifier amongst the guard force,
a prefix denoting their efforts in protecting the land they call home. While this title does not denote any increase in rank,
a Sparrow exemplifies the traits that recruits hope to achieve.

If you wish to join the Woodland Watch, please send a letter to Brookguard Boulder Cutton.

Signed:
Boulder Cutton, Brookguard of Babblebrook's Woodland Watch.