(Magic Lore) Bjaahri'l

[Areon 770]

sounds like a lutauman to me 

[Balorien 54]

Upgraded.

[KBR 1484]

I think most would think of this as a dark magic as it involves, curses, undead, and such all of which are dark magic's even with healing involved it is still majorly dark. -1 for now as it is just a bunch of magics mashed together. This is purely my opinion though.

[OldeTymer 322]

My thoughts are similar to Stobohobo's... It seems as if you are incorporating a variety of different magics into this one idea you have, and it wouldn't be favorable to the RPers of those particular magics that some of your ideas may intrude upon. I can't say that I'm a fan of this lore; it should be more unique.

[Balorien 54]

This magic type is different from the rest but yes some of its isnt very unique. Becouse this is a ancient magic type. All other magic types have been upgraded and became specialized, while this one is a bit of everything.

[E__V__O 1984]

Shades where 'everything' magic once too until it was decided it was too much and nerfed.

 

I suggest if you want to keep this a thing. Don't make it have everything. 

 

As with curses, it sounds like a mix between necromancy and soul puppetry. If you are unaware of what soul puppetry is.

 

Soul Puppetry is VooDoo magic essentially. Afflicting curses on a individual to weaken or kill them. 

 

[Balorien 54]

Guys. tell me what you like from this lore. I remove the rest and upgrade only that one.

[Ilikefooddude 414]

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

Bjaahri'l is a ancient and forgotten type of magic.

There’s an issue which arises from this first sentence which definitely needs to be addressed in any piece of lore. Implementation of your piece of lore- That is, bringing it into the server- needs to be carefully thought out and considered. You should be thinking about what types of groups would be involved in this piece of lore, how it would affect them, and why it should.
If the magic is unknown, how is it going to be used? This introduction needs a lot of work.
 

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

The ancient priest and tribal chieftains instructed this type of magic.

Which ancient priests and tribal chieftains? Who invented this magic, who precisely, and what do we know about them, and how do we know this! More detail!

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

Some ancient stone tablets and cave paintings still contain the knowladge of this magic. If you know how to read them. Those people who still know something about this magic type are often judged as a necromancer.

Although you’ve slightly touched the issue I presented in the first paragraph, this is nowhere near satisfactory. The Lore Team needs to know how this knowledge is spread- to who, natrually, but also by who. Where will it start? Will an event introduce this magic, or will this be done by a singular character who will later teach further students? If so, we must know about it, otherwise we’re left in the dark to something which must be viewed critically.

 

On 12/26/2015 at 11:00 PM, Wûd said:

They can create a ghoul like creatures called Ashurus.

How?

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

However ashurus are very weak creatures and everyone who know something about magic can interact with the magic that drives them.

How, and it what ways?

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

The Baal'Akai is creature thats not alive, not dead, nor undead. They usually called the "Half Living". Baal'Akai's are creatures made from the greatest priests and warlords of the ancient people.

How?? How was the ability to create them discovered? Moreso, what do they look like, describe them in detail!

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They are half living, becouse if you hit one of their important organ they die. Such as liver, lungs, heart, brain, but they are resistent to their other orgens.

Why?

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

Baal'Akai's regeneration skills are amazing. However their flesh and bones are weak.

Why?

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They feed on the blood to keep up their strenght. If they stop drinking blood they won't die, but they will lose their powers.

Vampirism, at the very least in the classical sense, should be kept at a comfortable distance of any lore with the use of a regulation sized pitchfork and/or wooden stake.

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They preformed rituals, At rituals, they painted the magic circle of the curse they wanted to make.

I’m going to lightly mention the clashing of this piece of lore with others already present on this server here. I say lightly because I don’t want to take away from the offensive prevalence of it throughout every other sentence in this submission.
Magics such as Necromancy and Witchdoctory may already perform similar feats- For such an ability to be accepted it should be separated from these two in specific ways and in much greater detail than it currently is. Include not only to what extent these curses reach, but how they do so. Do they activate passive pathogens already in the victim, or use the power of a grumpy Aengudaemon to strike misery upon their enemies?

 

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

preformed a strange ritual

If you’re going to mention a ritual, please include how it’s done.
Please.

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They share their life power

I'm going to run out of interrogatives here.

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They had some healing spells but those weren't very effective compered to the healing spells of our time

Will they be used in this magic? Referred to? Discovered? If you’re going to reference them in the lore, you have to state what is happening to them- do they exist or not? Will users of this magic actually know about them, or not? If so, you need to mention what they do, and how, and if not, you have to say they’ve been forgotten!

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

Spirit Magic

I’ve mentioned the need for how previously, so I won’t mention it here.
This is much too similar to Lutaumun magic, however Lutaumun magic does indeed explain how it’s done- This gives slightly vague/slightly odd suggestions which don’t quite align with the way magic, mana, and spirits actually work on LotC.
 

 

Anyway; I'd replied to your ideas further on in your piece of lore, but found no other way of reaffirming what needs to be improved in this lore other than in insults. If you have any questions, or you wish for guidance on where you want to take this piece of lore, shoot me a PM over the forums or on skype as ilikefooddude.

[Wretched 2038]

This lore has been denied

 

You are welcome to PM me or any other member of the Lore Team for further information.