Jump to content

(Magic Lore) Bjaahri'l


Balorien
 Share

Recommended Posts

I think most would think of this as a dark magic as it involves, curses, undead, and such all of which are dark magic's even with healing involved it is still majorly dark. -1 for now as it is just a bunch of magics mashed together. This is purely my opinion though.

Link to post
Share on other sites

My thoughts are similar to Stobohobo's... It seems as if you are incorporating a variety of different magics into this one idea you have, and it wouldn't be favorable to the RPers of those particular magics that some of your ideas may intrude upon. I can't say that I'm a fan of this lore; it should be more unique.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This magic type is different from the rest but yes some of its isnt very unique. Becouse this is a ancient magic type. All other magic types have been upgraded and became specialized, while this one is a bit of everything.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Shades where 'everything' magic once too until it was decided it was too much and nerfed.

 

I suggest if you want to keep this a thing. Don't make it have everything. 

 

As with curses, it sounds like a mix between necromancy and soul puppetry. If you are unaware of what soul puppetry is.

 

Soul Puppetry is VooDoo magic essentially. Afflicting curses on a individual to weaken or kill them. 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Guys. tell me what you like from this lore. I remove the rest and upgrade only that one.

Link to post
Share on other sites

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

Bjaahri'l is a ancient and forgotten type of magic.

There’s an issue which arises from this first sentence which definitely needs to be addressed in any piece of lore. Implementation of your piece of lore- That is, bringing it into the server- needs to be carefully thought out and considered. You should be thinking about what types of groups would be involved in this piece of lore, how it would affect them, and why it should.
If the magic is unknown, how is it going to be used? This introduction needs a lot of work.
 

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

The ancient priest and tribal chieftains instructed this type of magic.

Which ancient priests and tribal chieftains? Who invented this magic, who precisely, and what do we know about them, and how do we know this! More detail!

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

Some ancient stone tablets and cave paintings still contain the knowladge of this magic. If you know how to read them. Those people who still know something about this magic type are often judged as a necromancer.

Although you’ve slightly touched the issue I presented in the first paragraph, this is nowhere near satisfactory. The Lore Team needs to know how this knowledge is spread- to who, natrually, but also by who. Where will it start? Will an event introduce this magic, or will this be done by a singular character who will later teach further students? If so, we must know about it, otherwise we’re left in the dark to something which must be viewed critically.

 

On 12/26/2015 at 11:00 PM, Wûd said:

They can create a ghoul like creatures called Ashurus.

How?

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

However ashurus are very weak creatures and everyone who know something about magic can interact with the magic that drives them.

How, and it what ways?

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

The Baal'Akai is creature thats not alive, not dead, nor undead. They usually called the "Half Living". Baal'Akai's are creatures made from the greatest priests and warlords of the ancient people.

How?? How was the ability to create them discovered? Moreso, what do they look like, describe them in detail!

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They are half living, becouse if you hit one of their important organ they die. Such as liver, lungs, heart, brain, but they are resistent to their other orgens.

Why?

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

Baal'Akai's regeneration skills are amazing. However their flesh and bones are weak.

Why?

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They feed on the blood to keep up their strenght. If they stop drinking blood they won't die, but they will lose their powers.

Vampirism, at the very least in the classical sense, should be kept at a comfortable distance of any lore with the use of a regulation sized pitchfork and/or wooden stake.

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They preformed rituals, At rituals, they painted the magic circle of the curse they wanted to make.

I’m going to lightly mention the clashing of this piece of lore with others already present on this server here. I say lightly because I don’t want to take away from the offensive prevalence of it throughout every other sentence in this submission.
Magics such as Necromancy and Witchdoctory may already perform similar feats- For such an ability to be accepted it should be separated from these two in specific ways and in much greater detail than it currently is. Include not only to what extent these curses reach, but how they do so. Do they activate passive pathogens already in the victim, or use the power of a grumpy Aengudaemon to strike misery upon their enemies?

 

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

preformed a strange ritual

If you’re going to mention a ritual, please include how it’s done.
Please.

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They share their life power

I'm going to run out of interrogatives here.

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

They had some healing spells but those weren't very effective compered to the healing spells of our time

Will they be used in this magic? Referred to? Discovered? If you’re going to reference them in the lore, you have to state what is happening to them- do they exist or not? Will users of this magic actually know about them, or not? If so, you need to mention what they do, and how, and if not, you have to say they’ve been forgotten!

 

On 12/26/2015 at 7:17 PM, Balorien said:

Spirit Magic

I’ve mentioned the need for how previously, so I won’t mention it here.
This is much too similar to Lutaumun magic, however Lutaumun magic does indeed explain how it’s done- This gives slightly vague/slightly odd suggestions which don’t quite align with the way magic, mana, and spirits actually work on LotC.
 

 

Anyway; I'd replied to your ideas further on in your piece of lore, but found no other way of reaffirming what needs to be improved in this lore other than in insults. If you have any questions, or you wish for guidance on where you want to take this piece of lore, shoot me a PM over the forums or on skype as ilikefooddude.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This lore has been denied

 

You are welcome to PM me or any other member of the Lore Team for further information.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.



  • Popular Topics

  • Topics

  • Recent Status Updates
    • Options

      Options

    • Elennanore

      动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门
       

    • Nug

      some of you are NOT real.

    • satinkira

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    • Josie_Exotic

      if we had rped w spanish as a language in 2016 I would be fluent by now but instead i know blah 

    • Llir

      Still looking for folks for:
      - Tech Implementation
      - Web Team
      https://www.lordofthecraft.net/forms/33-tech-staff-application/

    No Recent Status Updates
×
×
  • Create New...