Strigae - Children of the Unseen

[E__V__O 1984]

May I also suggest.

 

This lore written by @V0idsoldier was accepted and then once removed (2 yrs later) is a good concept to go on. Unique, strengths/weaknesses and a unique character overall.

 

I suggest giving it a read basing what lore you have on it to give helpful suggestions.

[Neri 3587]

37 minutes ago, gucko; insane in the brain said:

 

not a bad idea considering they bolster no activity whatsoever.

 

Shouldn't remove lore, just decommission it and store it away for others to pick up again later. As long as the currently active or available lore isn't overwhelming and/or over-saturated, i'm not sure why these cannot coexist in lore.

 

That said, fantastic writing (besides a few quibbles I have with technicalities), hope it gets accepted.

[Dohvi 622]

I think that's more than enough on Frost Witches and perceived similarities to Frost Witches, guys. That argument is going around in circles and needs to stop. Let's focus on the lore itself, alright? 

[Mithradites 1161]

I would like to organise my critique (see: 'douchebaggery') into three parts--the quibbles, the concerns, and the praise. Since I feel particularly heinous, I'll even throw in my opinion as an ex-LM at the end. Something with maximum effort put into it deserves the maximum amount of attention, after all. Please read it all! I say plenty of nice things, too! I swear!

 

My quibbles are bits that annoy me, but nothing so terrible that I would want this lore denied. I'm writing it down anyway because I'm fond of thorough critique (see above), and because I like my topics to come in trios. 

 

Quibble 1, Witcher References: Not the most explicit aping of a popular fantasy universe I've seen on this server, but it's a little on-the-nose. It's mostly just in the names, but I can't help but think of Geralt and his stupid haircut when I read most of it. 

 

Quibble 2, Quotations in the Fluff: I'm not too fond of quotes that never occurred in RP. I understand why you did it from a narrative standpoint, but it still irks me a little. Also, what's a 'ruahdrel'? Is that Elven? If it is I'm impressed. I don't recognise the words in it myself, and I've gone over that stupid dictionary a dozen times during my server history.

 

Quibble 3, Anything involving Aeldin: The wondrous human utopia/exodus-retirement-village triggers me. But it's okay, because I know you're unaware that my gender is elf, and how it effects me. I forgive you.

 

My concerns are centered on the Greater Striga and their abilities, as well as the prospect of players actually roleplaying as them. Their strength and regenerative abilities are pretty well balanced with their flaws, but I feel this is only the case on paper. A creature with both high strength and agility will always outclass any other being. I can understand that this is the point, but it will be kindling for painful OOC arguments on every front, as well as risking obscene powergaming by the Strigae themselves. I can see you made the orcish comparison in regards to strength in the summery, but as someone who has witnessed an orc pull a tree out of the ground it still feels a little too vague. With the effects of blood on the Strigae added to the mix, the potential for acidic brackets-chatting is fairly high. 

The animal detection weakness is one you ought to straight-up remove. It's good flair, but dogs are a non-entity on LotC. When they do exist their actions are entirely controlled by the roleplayer who owns them. If this gets through expect everyone to own a family dog and for them all to be bloodhounds. 

 

I really have to hand it to you guys, despite it being such a long post I really enjoyed the read. Lore posts tend to be well-written, but not written well, if that makes sense? The fluff narrative between the informative stuff really pulls it together, and keeps it out of the arse-boring, long-winded history essays that most lore posts have. I'm even drooling over the layout of the post itself. Outrageous.

 

I'm not generally fond of more kill-creatures being accepted for the server (as there is already an over-abundance of evil to choose from) but I'm willing to make an exception in my heart for these man-eaters. Their theme is on-point, they seem dedicated to drinking blood and being vampirey, and they look like a real, challenging, engaging antagonist for players to hunt, worship, or get eaten by. You took the source material and made it your own thing. That's pretty darn floopy cool. In fact, it's practically...

 

 

 

 

As an LM though, my concerns would be in how similar this lore is (in concept rather than theme) to the Frost Witches. Since I am not an LM, I can say I have not been terribly impressed with the Frost Witches, so some good old-fashioned, healthy competition would be nice.

 

The origin of the Strigae with the 'Unseen' and the blood ritual would also raise some flags, I'm sure, with the super-grounded LMs who prefer all things to have a classification and source. I messed around with bizzaro, unknowable horrors myself when I was LMing back in Athera and I wish you luck.

 

Those two issues will probably be the ones that get you stuck.

 

Overall, good job, play a little less Witcher, and I hope it gets accepted.

 

(If I overlooked anything or something was answered in ensuing posts, sausage-sozzles, Maly and Mth darlings.)

[Jistuma 1995]

So, I'll just have to point out the difference of strengths and weaknesses between these creatures and other playable creatures. First off starting with the strigae:

 

Strengths:
- Immortal
- Extra strength (not above orc if human)
- Quick and ninja hiding skills
- Grow long talons
- Super regeneration
- They can find their own kind through smell
- Anaesthetic saliva

 

Weaknesses:
- Unholy immortal weaknesses (Holy, gold, infertility)
- Dogs can know what they are
- They get crazy with too much blood around.
- No magic

 

You will notice I didn't add most of the other blood related weaknesses, that's because they only serve as an RP mechanism for the one playing the strigae, not a weakness others can use on them. I haven't said anything about shapeshifting because I think they only have one form, or I might be confused, so I didn't add any of the strengths/weaknesses of that. Lets see Frost Witches strengths and weaknesses:

 

Strengths:
- Shapeshifting

- Ice magic

 

Weaknesses:
- Found out through a cut (they don't bleed normal blood)

- No special magic while appearing normal

- Cursed weaknesses (holy, infertility)

- Fire and heat

 

Lets compare that with Imp parasites, the previous accepted 'vampires', the simplest strengths and weaknesses:

 

Strengths:
- Can't get sick (though not many get sick. Poisons still work)

 

Weaknesses:

- If you're found out, you're hunted and killed (can't shapeshift to evade this)

 

I didn't add the crazy and phycological parts because those are roleplay incentives, and what makes the creature... the creature. Just like what makes the strigae, strigae, is drinking blood and the necessities to drink it. On the other hand, lets now look at one of the strongest creatures in LOTC, golems:

 

Strengths:
- Super Strength.

- Super Defense.

 

Weaknesses:

- Super slow.

- No free will.

- Have that spot where if it's broken they die.

- Ascended magic works against some of them.

- No magic

 

Even golems have a good strength to weakness ration. A big strength needs a big weakness. There is no big weakness for the strigae, and yet they have more strength, more speed, super regeneration, and something that allows them to attack without needing a tool. DarkStalkers / Liches:

 

Strengths:
- Immortality (undead)

- Greater strength / Greater magic

 

Weaknesses:

- Unholy weaknesses (holy, gold, infertility)

- Fire / physical weakness

- Total obedience to a master

- They can't safely interact with normal people since they're a skeleton.

- Darkstalkers can't do magic / Liches are easy to destroy

 

I could keep on going showing that each accepted creature has a good strength/weakness ration, a ration I don't find in this lore.

 

 

[Sagwort 832]

I think with all lore we need to ask: What does this ADD to the server or how does it benefit the server?

 

I'm not a lore master or lore expert so I can't do that question any justice, but food for thought.

 

Edit: But grade A writing anyhow!

 

EditEdit:  Ahem, what I'm getting at is it seems a good hunk of this lore is narrative heavy which is excellent in most regards!  However, what are the chances of such interesting scenarios happening on this server?  Such things are reserved for video games and novels, and seem to fall apart on this server.  Sure events could be planned... but we need to look at the casual or the everyday applications of this lore beyond a well written narrative.  What would these vampires be doing on a day to day basis?  Would the "tone" be there or would it just be monsters running around and attacking people and not much more complex than that? 

[__WaterFox__ 631]

Going a bit elder scrolls, but.... Add a weakness to sunlight (perhaps the legend about the sun being an aengul is true?), instead of growing stronger (and less sane) by drinking blood you could go with not drinking blood will make them stronger (forces the player to actively seek out and drink blood to keep from being found out while at the same time putting them at risk of being found out), and maybe add the fact that they don't like acrid smells (make up a few, tell a few others about it, and then shut up about it) to act as a sort of vampire repellent. Sure some of these suggestions seem silly and kinda rip off from other games, but having it this way (I think) will make for a very interesting and dynamic monster due to the way the player would have to approach rp. Also, add an extreme time limit between normal vampirism to greater so that it keeps players from really having to go into the ET/LM permission side of things.

[Esterlen 4462]

12 minutes ago, Jistuma said:

 

So, I'll just have to point out the difference of strengths and weaknesses between these creatures and other playable creatures. First off starting with the strigae:

 

Strengths:
- Immortal
- Extra strength (not above orc if human)
- Quick and ninja hiding skills
- Grow long talons
- Super regeneration
- They can find their own kind through smell
- Anaesthetic saliva

 

Weaknesses:
- Unholy immortal weaknesses (Holy, gold, infertility)
- Dogs can know what they are
- They get crazy with too much blood around.
- No magic

 

 

I think the issue here is that you're deliberately manipulating information in a particular way to serve your end. A more accurate list would go:

 

Strengths:

-Immortality

-Marginally extra strength and speed (Read the original post, under the strengths category - since this was cause to confusion, I changed it to be explicit in its wording)

-Talons and fangs

-Regeneration

 

I've omitted smell and saliva because they're absolute minutia. Neither are needed for the lore. The first is a nice RP mechanic, but can it detract from anybody else's experience in any way? A real advantage can't actually be gained from saying 'we have a heightened sense of x'. According to lore, elves have a heightened sense of sight, but is this really useful aside from enriching RP with a throwaway emote? For what it's worth, frost witches are able to identify their own kind as well. 

 

Saliva was again, just my attempt to add flavor in. It can be axed.

 

Weaknesses:

-Infertile

-Other holy/immortal weaknesses such as gold

-Dogs, canines, most mammals can know what they are

-Lose grip on reality if exposed to too much blood

-Absolutely no magic

-Numerous ways of discovery, upon which they're liable to be dealt with speedily 

 

21 minutes ago, Jistuma said:

Lets see Frost Witches strengths and weaknesses:

 

Strengths:
- Shapeshifting

- Ice magic

 

Weaknesses:
- Found out through a cut (they don't bleed normal blood)

- No special magic while appearing normal

- Cursed weaknesses (holy, infertility)

- Fire and heat

 

In contrast-

 

Strengths:

-Immortality

-Ice magic

-Talons and fangs (Frost witches have them as well!)

 

I don't consider shapeshifting a strength to the frost witches just as I don't consider it a strength to strigae. To my mind, it's more or less cosmetic in origin. 

 

Weaknesses:

-Infertile 

-No special magic while appearing normal (Is this really a weakness? I can easily apply the same to many of the 'heightened skills' [which might I add are being hyped up by a few people as being some superpowers they're legitimately not] and say they can't be used in a normal form)

-Numerous ways of discovery, upon which they're liable to be dealt with speedily

-Fire and heat

 

See, I can manipulate and interpret strengths and weaknesses to serve an agenda as well. We need to look at this from a more holistic viewpoint and I'd urge you to be less influenced by the 'lore orthodoxy' of the Fjarriauga. There is room in this town for the two of us. 

 

There are a few things I'm more than happy to amend so as to keep the peace. 

• I will cut out the 'saliva paragraph' completely. 
• I will, on zaezae's suggestion, change it so that a striga who has not fed recently feels hot to the touch, not cold.
• I will endeavor to find another weakness or 'identifier' comparable to the frost witch's lack of blood when cut.
• I have already clarified that the level of strength and speed a minority are railing against is not what you think it is, and amended the original post accordingly. 
• I will even change it so that strigae are not immortal and ageless, but merely live relatively long compared to humans, not that this practically means anything other than semantics.

I want to respond to your post in full @Mithradites but I'm dying of sleep deprivation and so will hopefully get around to that tomorrow. To answer your question about the word 'ruahdrel' though: it's an absolute placeholder because I had nothing else. If you can get me an approximate ancient elven translation of 'blood-sucker', I will use that instead. The quotes are meant to just add flavor and if they offend anyone's sensibilities can be changed or outright canned. My apologies about the references to Aeldin and the Witcher inspiration, but you know how us human RPers are! 

 

[zaezae 1097]

I'll be the first to protest you removing agelessness. They are vampires, bro, make them ageless. I would respond further but I can't skype right now. Sleep well. I mean, I don't want to boss you around, but I don't want you to radically alter the flavor of your lore either.

 

I'm not just a frostie fan-boy, I believe in the principle of maintaining a creature's flavor. Yours being blood sucking and immortality. 

 

But I will say this here (mostly for other people) that there IS enough room for both lores. The problem, in my opinion that we discussed, is they are too close to one another. There is plenty of room for man-eaters and I'd like to RP interaction between the two creatures.

[Birdwhisperer 1173]

This was a good read and excellently written, however it's also completely plagiarized from Witcher 3: Blood and Wine. I know you guys are capable of creating something good and original, why copy other works?

 

Beyond even that, as has been said before, these creatures are all but identical to ones already present on the server. Frost witches: cannibals, intelligent monsters, human appearance, even a cold touch. Wraiths: completely unkillable, regenerates even when they are 'killed', extremely powerful, capable of disguising in a somewhat humanoid form. And the rarely played Blood Imps, which is LotCs other vampire creature that actually had original lore.

 

But basically these things are Witcher-flavored Wraiths in a Frost Witch's body.

 

As for the lore itself, there are some other issues. The completely unkillable thing, for one. That's actually not too bad, there are other 'unkillable' monsters on the server, though there's usually at least some way to PK them. (Liches, for example, are unkillable unless you have their phylactery. I'm not sure if there's been new lore on how to PK a wraith but there is at least one method I'm aware of.) You'll need to elaborate on how it works when put into practice on the server, however. You say 'with enough time' but you need to elaborate what that means. You'll also need to elaborate on how this works with the memory loss rule.

 

And finally, as ironic as it sounds, you're going to have problems with all of these weaknesses. Those who have experience playing monsters/evil characters can attest, everyone has everything necessary to kill you. Everyone already carries around gold swords, and if this is accepted everyone will be sudden experts on their strengths and weaknesses, how to spot one, and the blood hound population will increase magically overnight. On paper, these creatures are a little on the OP side. In game, the result will probably be very different, unless you powergame (and the 'super strength' will give a lot of room for powergaming). This isn't really a criticism of the lore, just something that will be interesting to hear about if this gets accepted.

 

TLDR: Good writing but please make something more original than a carbon copy of Witcher vampires that also have too many similarities to other creatures on LotC, also clarify how their death and regeneration would work mechanically in game.

[Harri 4813]

Perhaps try a weakness very akin to what I face as a Darkstalker player, one that's been suggested already: the sun. Although, don't go for straight up burning in the sun, that's just retarded. How about agitation to bright lights or direct natural sunlight? A simple brimmed hat or hood would be enough to stop the annoyance, being something that'd eventually grow to be a known staple of them - thus becoming a weakness. As for when actually being exposed to the sun for a prolonged amount of time, how about have their hunger for blood be much more apparent, eventually pushing them to act unreasonably.

 

Sorry if anything's been suggested or something like this is already a part of your OP, I'll admit I slightly skimmed over it, so correct anything I say.

[problematic z 477]

4 minutes ago, Birdwhisperer said:

This was a good read and excellently written, however it's also completely plagiarized from Witcher 3: Blood and Wine. I know you guys are capable of creating something good and original, why copy other works?

 

inspiration is not plagiarizing. the lore was very clearly written by two players - Esterlen and Mth_dew.

 

they might have been inspired by the works of the Witcher, and may have even taken many similarities, however to call 'plagiarized' is completely erroneous. striga lore is very clearly influenced by a variety of other mediums, but 'plagiarized' is not the right word to describe this. Inspiration from other mediums is good - it makes our RP world all the more diverse and interesting. 

[Neri 3587]

7 minutes ago, Hunwald said:

but the lore is the size of a book and involves itself in the lord of the craft universe, how is this a carbon copy? the guys seemed to have put an ass load of time into creating this, if it was denied on the pretense that it's purely a carbon copy that's just dumb, considering we take extreme influence on lotc from other fantasy universes because we are fantasy universe roleplay server

 

Well it's not a carbon copy. However, given that the accompanying song is from the Witcher which contains a monster that this seems to be drawn from would easily sway most people into, at a shallow level, believing this to be a carbon copy, a belief that isn't easily swayed, especially considering the human playerbases' fetish towards Witcher-universe lore "inspirations" (wink wink white rose).

 

Then again some of us might know that it's drawn from romanian folklore of the Strigoi which is a pretty cool inspiration to use since it's not the common or garden vampires we know and love (to hate?).

 

It's a matter of perception, really. If you cleared up the misunderstanding more people would be inclined to like it. Maybe a more lotc-grounded name would help. This lore is strong enough to stand on its own two feet without alluding to the witcher or real-life lore, so why not let it?

[KBR 1484]

In all seriousness, great work +1.

[UnBaed 8910]

 

this lore looks really good, +1