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BrazilianskiAPOLOGY

[✗] An Official Apology by a Banned Player.

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This will not be done in the format of an appeal, because it's primary reason is not for appealing, but for apologising, as the title says.

The post is big, I do not mind if you don't read it and just comment, but thanks if you do.

 

Hello! Yes, its that one banned player that nobody probably cares and the one that has a bad community reputation, Brazilianski. I'd like to quote something before I start

 

"What I will tell you is that while the Game Team has a policy of not accepting appeals until the appeal by date, I have been known to be more leniant on it. Keep on good behavior and after a good bit of your sentence has gone by have a go at an appeal, we'll see how things go."-Dogbew on the day of my ban, 04/09/2018

 

Yes, as you can see, hardly any time of my sentence has passed, but its over a month already, and its about the same time my first ban was issued, which was also one ban. A ban that was well deserved (the 1st) because of the things I did. I thought I had come better after 1 month clearing my head, but I hadn't. When I came back, I did nothing but repeat what I did to get that 1 month.

This is in no way an appeal. Of course, if by this the staff can assume that maybe or maybe not I have recovered from the issues I had, better deal with my attitude and am no longer a toxic *****. It's not in my intention to lower the 6 month sentence I was given, but it is in some way to try and get some light as to why I was acting the way I was and why I did the things I did.

 

I'm gonna start by a month earlier (enough fancy fonts) at 03/03/2018 (or 1 month 5 days) and explain things from the very beginning. I had just finished a huge project with my University in conjunction with a social movement and I was about ready to lay back and relax for another 3 months without having problems in my head. All bills were on check, money was ok, everyone was ok. I was doing fine, psychologist to deal with anger issues and general lack of empathy that I had developed over my infancy and puberty. That all until my mother passed away, in 23/03/2018. I can sit down and say that everything went south from there on. My dad started drinking and, without my knowing, used my card (which is shared between me and him) to buy a shitload of alcohol before he decided to disappear (he came back recently, 02/05/2018). I fell back on my psychologist consults to be able to pay rent & university, whilst having to cut some leisure things (like a weekly magazine I signed and had lots of fun with). I had several outbursts and the only person I could count on with my mother on was my best friend and my boyfriend (wow wow, Brazilianski is gay, boo hoo). At the start of April, I was getting hang of things again before I got an email from my psychologist saying he was going to cancel our future sessions, because of the failure of payment in the period of 25/03 to 31/03 (all of those days I had sessions, since we used to meed daily, even in sundays. Bill was ˜1,5k per session). Failing to get my anger issues properly dealt with, since I myself failed miserably at trying to (I broke an iPhone and 2 controllers (tv)). Like anyone would in the position of someone as fucked as I was, I needed a safe haven. Somewhere I could sit, relax, chat, whatever. That was LotC. But as we all know (and hate), LotC is not always that calm atmosphere, where you get everything, every time, every day. With the ongoing anger issue, I had plenty of outbursts in LotC, discharged huge amounts of toxicity until 04/09 came the ban hammer for the huge amounts of toxicity I had expressed to some people, maybe to a broad spectrum of people.

 

 

As I have mentioned, this is in no way an appeal. I'm not even using the correct format. It's me coming out to the community and doing something I never thought I would do to people I don't even know; expose my personal life. It was something I needed to put out anyway. So, with all now explained, I want to apologise. Not just for this small period of which I was a huge toxic *****, but for the past 2 years, from 2016-now (its my 2nd year in LotC) that I haven't built a very good reputation. I always wanted to start over, re-brand myself to the community as a nice person, but I always fucked it all up and made it worse. So, whilst I won't be able to immediately re-work myself, I hope that, when and if I come back to the community, you all accept Brazilianski as a new person. A new him. In all honesty, this is me coming out as a person, rather than a member, player or minecrafter. It is me offering myself a new door for when I come back, but I need that new door to be accepted, and even if it isn't, I'll work hard to make it so that I manage to give myself a new face.

 

And, with all due respect, I'll mention to whom this post is mainly directed:
Dogbew, with whom I was awfully toxic by trying to justify myself minutes after the ban via discord.

LeoWarrior14, a person who I can imagine is a nice guy when actually getting to know, but I spent too much time letting salt and toxicity on him.

DaHazelWazel, I'm sorry I was such a **** to you via Discord.

Every single player I may have offended in the past, too many to list, these three were just top priority.

 

Thank you if you have read all of this and have sat through all of this, because I imagine most people will not read it all, but if you have, thank you.

 

Hugs & kisses,

Brazilianski.

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Dearly hope stuff goes better man. Prayers to you.

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Very touching post honestly, I hope everything goes well for you in the present and future, and sorry for your loss.

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Sorry for your loss! ? Hopefully everything will be better for you from now on. Take care and respect for sharing this out! ♡♡♡♡♡

Stay strong!

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Sad to hear about it all, hopefully it will get better as time goes on. 

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I got your back my man. If you ever need some help throw me a PM on Discord.

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Sve najbolje brate 

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You've always seemed like a good guy in all the interactions we've had.  Your real personality is somebody I'd be glad to consider as a friend and your outbursts are only that, and do not reflect you truly as a person.  

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I really empathize with you. Life can be an ass, and it's difficult to always keep emotions out of a game/community. I also know how it sucks to be branded with a reputation, I still meet people who hold grudges on me from 2012. My advice is just to moderate yourself, and take it slow. Everyone is going to remember your crap personality and toxicity, but if you stop being toxic, and start being more friendly, people will respond to it in time.

 

That being said, I'd recommend you not come back to LoTC for some time, possibly several months. Life's a b, and you should avoid this game until you settle down more in your personal life. But that's just my opinion. Best luck.

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Add me on Discord to discuss the details of this ban @ Chorale_#4767.

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Denied. If you're actually serious about appealing this ban then use the proper format.

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