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[✗] Iylderi; Guardians of the Veil


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Yuuuuuuh

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7 hours ago, RugRatRew said:

I have three things to say

1) This is incredibly amazing and detailed and solid to a T.

 

2) How long did that take to write? I mean Homer at this point would be telling you to slow down ?.

 

3) Major +1

It was written back in June and tweaked since then. We've been asking people and LT to review it over the past 4 months to try and balance it to try and make sure it was fair. I wanted to post it so that I had the opportunity to see how a wider array of people felt about the lore so that I can tweak and improve it further. 

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On 10/12/2018 at 1:06 PM, Dromui said:

I support end games because at the end of the day, everyone shouldn't be the same level of power as one another. It's stupid and make character growth pointless if any schmuck who gets an MA can be as strong as someone who's practiced for years longer than them in an IRL setting. Unfortunately, there is no attempts at tackling the fact everyone is the same character on the server, so end games at least offer those who are dedicated the opportunity to prove it. Besides, most people who receive the end games usually don't run around magically nuking anything. The rules of the server don't actually allow any consequences to occur.

>Needing an application to be stronger.
6f6.png

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I am not a fan of them having “human conversation” with celestials. 

 

In very special circumstances sure but the idea that they walk around creating dialouge with them is too strange to me.

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Can we not have yet another endgame circlejerk? If you just want cool aesthetics, follow the example @Gladuos set with the Paragons of Light. Don’t make a blatant grab to become protag mages and call it flavor. 

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Very interesting idea, and beautifully presented. That said, I’m a little tentative about all these levels of transformation; I feel as though the idea of ditching your mortal body for something else is something that has become overly common on the server, and I feel as though voidal magic in particular is one which shouldn’t draw characters away from their mortality with its ‘ultimate form’, since it is the most widely available type of magic on the server. Archons were sort of cool while they lasted, but at this point I think I’d rather see well thought-out and thematically interesting lore like this put towards something other than glowy magic dudes. We’ve got, and more importantly have had, plenty of those.

 

Neither plus one nor minus one, I like the writing and I’m not smart enough to point out any balancing flaws, but as a concept I feel as though it could be made more interesting counter-intuitively by not leaning so hard on the idea of alternate states that the server seems obsessed with. Mages bound to the void and empowered as its protectors and servants would be a strong concept alone, without making them into arcane ghosties.

 

And uh, obviously I’m familiar with non-mortal states and such on the server, my own main character is a Wight. I don’t mean to say that having non-mortal creatures on the server is bad, only that I think at this point just about every kind of magic is trying to make you something other than the race you started as, and that really isn’t a trap I want to see the most accessible magic on the server fall in to.

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1 hour ago, Kalehart said:

Very interesting idea, and beautifully presented. That said, I’m a little tentative about all these levels of transformation; I feel as though the idea of ditching your mortal body for something else is something that has become overly common on the server, and I feel as though voidal magic in particular is one which shouldn’t draw characters away from their mortality with its ‘ultimate form’, since it is the most widely available type of magic on the server. Archons were sort of cool while they lasted, but at this point I think I’d rather see well thought-out and thematically interesting lore like this put towards something other than glowy magic dudes. We’ve got, and more importantly have had, plenty of those.

 

Neither plus one nor minus one, I like the writing and I’m not smart enough to point out any balancing flaws, but as a concept I feel as though it could be made more interesting counter-intuitively by not leaning so hard on the idea of alternate states that the server seems obsessed with. Mages bound to the void and empowered as its protectors and servants would be a strong concept alone, without making them into arcane ghosties.

 

And uh, obviously I’m familiar with non-mortal states and such on the server, my own main character is a Wight. I don’t mean to say that having non-mortal creatures on the server is bad, only that I think at this point just about every kind of magic is trying to make you something other than the race you started as, and that really isn’t a trap I want to see the most accessible magic on the server fall in to.

That’s an interesting point, I like it. Again, as I’ve said to the other genuine feedback I’ve received, I’m going to take this on board. I don’t intend or want this post of the lore to actually be reviewed officially and accepted/denied as much as I’m trying to use this as an opportunity to gauge reaction and see what people do and do not want. That allows me to work on a second version which is an improvement of the original.

 

Thank you for taking the time to give me feedback!

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On 10/12/2018 at 5:45 PM, MisterBones said:

It's not enough that mages can have five tier 5 magics?

Not if I have anything to say about it...

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5 hours ago, The King Of The Moon said:

 

 

201e0292ca77708bb983ff03496b8372.png

Don't wanna be that guy, but you missed two jerks there, i only count 8.

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21 hours ago, The King Of The Moon said:

 

 

201e0292ca77708bb983ff03496b8372.png

Thank you for your helpful feedback. I will use this information to improve the quality of the submission. Without your valuable input, we’d have missed crucial holes within the lore that could have deeply impacted the play-testing of this Creature. I will make the necessary changes el rapido.

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Thank you for submitting your piece, it is now under review. A verdict shall be given in 1 and a half weeks, give or take (I will warn you that it might take longer depending on how many people are busy with finals, as I do not believe in having my team members prioritize LotC over IRL).

 

Thread is being locked to prevent edits to the lore while voting occurs (if you need to make edits, contact me). Also, if you have feedback regarding the lore that you wish to pass to the LT, feel free to toss me a PM.

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This Lore has been denied. While some of us felt this was a nice concept, a number of issues cropped up that the team noted. The purpose for this lore is rather vague and just seems like something any cliche voidal mage would pursue, so that needs to be clarified or changed to something else. The cap being at 10 for a group as big as the void is seen as problematic. The empowerment aspect of the creature (awakened form talking about making their spells more powerful) is not something we are looking for at this time, similar to how we phased going past t5 in the latest blood magic rewrite. Overall many of the abilities need to be detailed further as well.

 

Topic moved to Denied Lore forum.

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