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WORLD AT WAR, KNIGHTHOOD SQUABBLE CONTINUES [I-PAN]

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Ser Hans de Ruyter sets his prototype bicycle against the side of his manor, strolls past his orange tulips, and sits at his favorite bench. The weather, cold and snowy as it had been for weeks, seemed milder today. He tapped his wooden clogs together, drumming his feet absent-mindedly as he procured the Imperial Newspaper from the satchel at his side. He flipped through it, stroking his fine Lodenlander beard in disappointment upon not finding articles about safely using copious amounts of drugs, interior decorating in the color orange, or new bicycle-riding trails. 

 

Just as he was about to throw the paper into the nearest snowbank, the bold, front-and-center headline of the newspaper caught his attention. He carefully read through it, looking for mention of his name and how he had successfully led a slaughter of Arberrangian pagans, and saved his party from an attack by a larger Norlandic force. However, as he finished the article, no mention of the glorious raid in the name of God was mention, but rather their acts were considered to be a part of a “training exercise."

 

"What?!” he shrieks in impeccable Common. ”A training exercise? My glorious crusade of a handful of pagans gets reported as a training exercise?!? Arberrang just decided to rebel after they lost a training exercise, is that what they want us to believe? Those disgusting rebellious pagans were cut down without quarter, as they should be!"

 

With a huff of frustration Ser Hans de Ruyter goes to retrieve his prototype bike, taking with him a few tulips and some spare clogs. He then ventures north, searching for a bike trail that will let him blow off some steam.

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Utaria stares at the map for several seconds, before rubbing her eyes. “That’s gotta be a mistake. Sutica has a non-aggression pact with the Orcs and the Empire, ya know. Just because we wanna get them off our backs for five seconds, we wanna just bend the knee? I swear to Gott this journalism is getting worse by the day.” She proceeds to ball up the paper and toss it in a nearby trashbin.

Edited by Skyrunner

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Edwin Estermont flips a coin between his fingers, thinking of the potential profits from war.

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5 hours ago, NordLord said:

“The **** is an Ettindom.” -Claudius would ask his clerk upon reading.

“No clue.” Albert Brussels, the clerk, responds.

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8 hours ago, MajesticOwyn said:

Nei, our side of the story was not gathered. We were condemned from the beginning. We were attacked, unprovoked. Why would one wish to serve as a vassal to such dishonorable peoples, who now attempt to handwave it away as a ‘military exercise’.”

“Nothing was unprovoked, much of your leadership and populace are either a demon or know somebody who is.” states Humpfrey.

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11 hours ago, IDELA said:

Dunshire has recently enacted their own legislature, which functions similarly to the Empire’s current parliamentary system.

 

Rollo Applefoot reads the paper, eyeing the world news with a quirked brow before simply saying to himself “... What? I never knew the Empire’s current parliamentary system was a social republic-esque system that is still basically borderline communism! I guess the Empire is done with all that basically monarchy stuff!” Rollo Applefoot then nods, glad that his lover managed to get a job that doesn’t involve talking to a pumpkin god 

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4 minutes ago, Tha_Mystery_Man said:

 

Rollo Applefoot reads the paper, eyeing the world news with a quirked brow before simply saying to himself “... What? I never knew the Empire’s current parliamentary system was a social republic-esque system that is still basically borderline communism! I guess the Empire is done with all that basically monarchy stuff!” Rollo Applefoot then nods, glad that his lover managed to get a job that doesn’t involve talking to a pumpkin god 

“T’eh proper word is Bernardism me love” responds Daisy Applefoot

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12 hours ago, MajesticOwyn said:


Ruari bore a scowl of contempt as he heard the man speak.


“Do you have proof? I’ve lived within the walls of Arberrang for many years now, and not once have I heard the slightest whisper of rebellion against Haense. No doubt you will deflect my question, or refuse to deliver some concrete form of evidence. Nei, I was one of the four present when the soldiers from Haense scaled our wall, declared we had the intent to rebel, and deemed we surrender or be put to the blade. Is this aggressive and unprovoked attack how Haense would treat its vassals? Is this how the Empire would deem it acceptable? For how well spoken you Imperials are, and how your customs and laws are so refined, you seem to lack the basic ability to conduct diplomacy.

At the very least, this is still a blatant lie. Two elders, a servant, and myself were present on the rampart. We had no warriors present, nothing to indicate there was a ‘training exercise’ being held between ourselves and Markev. They came to attack us.

Nei, our side of the story was not gathered. We were condemned from the beginning. We were attacked, unprovoked. Why would one wish to serve as a vassal to such dishonorable peoples, who now attempt to handwave it away as a ‘military exercise’.”

 

“Stop being foolish, the Empire of Man did not declare Arberrang rebels. It declared Nordengrad rebels for countless acts attacking another vassal was just the straw that cracked the camels back. Now Arberrang’s leadership foolishly went and declared independence from the Empire, declaring a state of rebellion. If Arberrang leadership had sense and did not want to rebel perhaps they should have complained to the Emperor or the government, or come to court for a solution to problems they have. But now its to late for that, they have already rebelled and once the Empire is done cleaning up the North it shall come south to deal with the rebels in Arberrang. Perhaps  they would surrender and bend the knee to the Emperor before he reaches the southern border and he might be merciful.”

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57 minutes ago, Sultan said:

 

“Stop being foolish, the Empire of Man did not declare Arberrang rebels. It declared Nordengrad rebels for countless acts attacking another vassal was just the straw that cracked the camels back. Now Arberrang’s leadership foolishly went and declared independence from the Empire, declaring a state of rebellion. If Arberrang leadership had sense and did not want to rebel perhaps they should have complained to the Emperor or the government, or come to court for a solution to problems they have. But now its to late for that, they have already rebelled and once the Empire is done cleaning up the North it shall come south to deal with the rebels in Arberrang. Perhaps  they would surrender and bend the knee to the Emperor before he reaches the southern border and he might be merciful.”

“Amen.” said Father Humpfrey as he prepared his mace and auric oil to rid the world of the demon harem in Arberrang.

Edited by ImperialTortoise

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Cyrene would grumble from her spot in the clinic, looking down to her burned hand and snapped shin. “Orcs have been known to rob, raid, and pillage our lands since the start of Atlas...” she’d say. “Either some people are blind as to not realize why we made the trade and non-aggression pact with them, or they’re just grasping at straws in a feeble attempt to drag the Federation into trouble. What did I expect, though? Sutica remains neutral in this war.” 

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11 hours ago, ImperialTortoise said:

“Nothing was unprovoked, much of your leadership and populace are either a demon or know somebody who is.” states Humpfrey.

 

7 hours ago, Sultan said:

 

“Stop being foolish, the Empire of Man did not declare Arberrang rebels. It declared Nordengrad rebels for countless acts attacking another vassal was just the straw that cracked the camels back. Now Arberrang’s leadership foolishly went and declared independence from the Empire, declaring a state of rebellion. If Arberrang leadership had sense and did not want to rebel perhaps they should have complained to the Emperor or the government, or come to court for a solution to problems they have. But now its to late for that, they have already rebelled and once the Empire is done cleaning up the North it shall come south to deal with the rebels in Arberrang. Perhaps  they would surrender and bend the knee to the Emperor before he reaches the southern border and he might be merciful.”


”I thought the visit of the Haense military was infact a mere training exercise? Or were they here to cut down the corrupt and evil Karyssmov Faroe? Or was it like the soldiers themselves said to my very face, that we were in open rebellion? It seems no one can keep their story straight. 

The truth is, Haense men attacked us before we knew we even had a problem which would warrant us going to the Emperor or Government. I stood atop those walls and witnessed first hand as the Men from Markev came to my home, not speaking a single word of arresting the Karyssmov Faroe for his demon ways, but to declare that my kinsmen were in rebellion! Something we did not even know in our own hearts! Arberrang is full of many folk, while Karyssmov is just one man! His clan makes up one of four. Why were we visited upon by a ravenous pack of dogs and declared upon to give up our home? To surrender or meet the blade? No one has yet to show me proof of Karyssmov’s so called demonic ways, just words which paint him so. 

Expose the truth, and every good natured man and woman of Arberrang would cut him down themselves. Declare it your intent to take our home away from us, using baseless claims and the threat of an army before we could even react? That is how you drive a populace to fight for their lives, and is the reason Nordengrad came to our aid. It does not matter to  you Imperials, this is merely a limp excuse to kill us all. So long as the Empire and its vassals within will be satisfied with such, it will not be an Empire worth speaking of.” Ruari spoke out in response.

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“You’ve dug your grave, made your bed, now you must lay in it.”

Ponders the likely end of petty squabbles and a united, holy realm.

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“Why are sons of iblees and demon worshipping godless pagans surprised that they are being targeted, this is most peculiar.”
Asks a man.

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