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Fishy

The Golden City's Call to Arms, 1725

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Posted (edited)

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

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Issued and Confirmed 9th of Snow’s Maiden, 1725

 

 



 

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“Onward, Canonist Soldiers!” Unknown Soldier of the Eighteen Years’ War, 1536

 

With the march of dwarfkind upon the Realms of Man, honor demands that all of mankind uphold our moral and legal obligation in opposing these invaders. Thus the Serene Duchy of Cathalon and the Golden City of Ves issue forth a call to arms to all able-bodied men and subjects of the realm to defend the patrimony of mankind. Let none claim ignorance and let no grudge prevent sons of Horen from honoring the sacred duty of our ancestors.

 

Hereby does his Serene Grace, Helton Hadrian Helvets, Duke of Cathalon and Captain & Defender of Liberty call upon the service of his vassals;

 

The Right Honorable, Count Richard de Reden
His Lordship, Baron Simon of Ba’as

 

Hereby does his Serene Grace, Helton Hadrian Helvets, Duke of Cathalon and Captain & Defender of Liberty plead for the blessings of the following Saints;

 

High Pontiff, St. Daniel I of Abresi, Patron Saint of Scholarship, Canonist Coalitions, Fidei Defensors, and Literature,

St. Thomas of Gaekrin, Patron Saint of Virtuous Leadership, Discipline, Frontiersmen, and Kaedreni Peoples,

St. Peter of Gaekrin, Patron Saint of Military Orders, Victory in Battle, and Plight against Heathens,

St. Emma of Woldzmir, Patron Saint of the Schism War, Soldiers, Loyalty, Valour against Odds, and Adrians,

St. Catherine of Felsen, Patron Saint of Integrity, Innocence, Refugees, and the Vessian People.


Hereby does his Serene Grace, Helton Hadrian Helvets, Duke of Cathalon and Captain & Defender of Liberty issue that those who serve beneath the banner of Cathalon and receive baptism shall be awarded a home and the status of Freemen within the Golden City of Ves. In addition, properties owned by soldiers of Cathalon shall not be taxed for the years that they campaign.

Let all who would declare for the Pax Orenia rejoice in the solidarity of mankind!

 


 

Signed,
 

His Serene Grace, Helton Hadrian Helvets, Duke of Cathalon and Captain & Defender of Liberty

Edited by Fishy
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Posted (edited)

Richard smirks, “We’ve fought Beets, Sarkozics and now Dwarves. One ineffective enemy after another – will the dwarves too fizzle out?”

Edited by Johnny_Fat

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“Whew laddeh.” says Bruno, imitating a dwarven accent as he slaps his belly, “It’s toime to lose yet anotha’ war! Et has been proven toime and toime again tha’ we are really fuckin’ bad at warfare but nonetheless we pursue it! Wheeeeew lad!”

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Ser Henry continues to hand out weapons and uniforms to the GOOD MEN OF GOD! Who report for duty!

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13 minutes ago, Johnny_Fat said:

Richard smirks, “We’ve fought Beets, Sarkozics and now Dwarves. One ineffective enemy after another – will the dwarves too fizzle out?”

 

Adrian peered over the missive, exuding a laugh, “I do remember you lot refusing to fight Sarkoz, twice. Yet you continue to writhe in your fantastic fantasies of lunacy; perhaps when the war is done you’ll finally have the gall to put your blade where your mouth is.” 

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Isidora Basrid prays for the safety of her countrymen, hoping her father manages not to get himself killed.

@Publius

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2 minutes ago, Icarnus said:

 

Adrian peered over the missive, exuding a laugh, “I do remember you lot refusing to fight Sarkoz, twice. Yet you continue to writhe in your fantastic fantasies of lunacy; perhaps when the war is done you’ll finally have the gall to put your blade where your mouth is.” 

Henry squints “Didnt you lads flee everytime we showed up, refusing to fight and otherwise causing a ruckus? I sure do remember hearing by word of mouth from the peasants the fit you threw when the Emperor refused your calls for war. Very entertaining i might add.” 

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Old Rattlesnake would heed this call to arms, but sadly he has none.

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Sergeant Jayce grows eager to send the underking 6 feet underground!

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Upon hearing an insult from the evil dwed, an unknown Caer Bann soldier would question, "What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little *****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Caer Bann training academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Frostbeards, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in ignoring warfare and I’m the top swordsman in the entire Vesnian armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this realm, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with shouting that **** to me and running away? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Urguan and your clan name is being researched right now so you better prepare for the storm, shortshit. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, dwed. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Vesnian Cavalry Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you half heighted ****. If only you could have known what HOLY retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you GOD damnded idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, dwedsman."

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7 minutes ago, BlueFortune said:

Upon hearing an insult from the evil dwed, an unknown Caer Bann soldier would question, "What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little *****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Caer Bann training academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Frostbeards, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in ignoring warfare and I’m the top swordsman in the entire Vesnian armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this realm, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with shouting that **** to me and running away? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Urguan and your clan name is being researched right now so you better prepare for the storm, shortshit. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, dwed. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Vesnian Cavalry Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you half heighted ****. If only you could have known what HOLY retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you GOD damnded idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, dwedsman."

 

The little halfling delivering pies to various shops in Ves doubles over in laughter at the rant. 

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Posted (edited)
19 minutes ago, BlueFortune said:

Upon hearing an insult from the evil dwed, an unknown Caer Bann soldier would question, "What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little *****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Caer Bann training academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Frostbeards, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in ignoring warfare and I’m the top swordsman in the entire Vesnian armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this realm, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with shouting that **** to me and running away? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Urguan and your clan name is being researched right now so you better prepare for the storm, shortshit. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, dwed. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Vesnian Cavalry Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you half heighted ****. If only you could have known what HOLY retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you GOD damnded idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, dwedsman."

Upon hearing this, Pervinca Driftwood would try and do her best Dwarf impression:

“I’m here all year - come on ya fowckin punk arse swimmer 🙄 I’ll be waiting on ya - I’ll be waiting on your punk arse - wait matter of fact give me your barony location I’ll come to wherever you are and give you a chance to make good on your promises since I know you won’t actually come here me Caer Bann lol what army rank where you in ‘umie? See you’re talking to an Dwarf Legionnaire. - PvP God group #420 - I’ve ACTUALLY been on raiding missions - I’ve ACTUALLY been in swordfights - and on the 1% chance that you’re ACTUALLY a military veteran I’ll tell you to shut up in yar mouth ‘n listen- we were saving baby warriors on a daily basis because they have no fowcking idea what to do when arrows start flying the other direction - so no - I’m not worried about you - the Legion is still using Coalition war hand me downs so you’re saying your equipment is dated and sporting extensive wear and tear? Annnndddd no need to involve your top secret lies I mean spies whoops - cuzzzzz I just told you and the skygods where I inhabit - you can come here or give me your barony location and I’ll come there - either way”

Edited by NotEvilAtAll

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Caleb Crider prepares for conflict.

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