A Failure of a Mother and the Sorrow of a Widow

[EmiliainWonderland 1526]

Elizabeth had been rather busy recently, trying desperately to learn how to better herself. She wanted nothing more than to be able to express the love and gratitude she had for her family, but she struggled to show it. It wasn’t so difficult when she was younger, things came much easier to her back then. She was happy finally getting out into the world, meeting the people she had met. If it weren’t for Ser Sylvester, she wasn’t sure any of this would be possible.

 

Even with all of the things she was given in life, she still felt like she could do better. For one, she had little presence in the lives of her children and grandchildren, and she began to see less and less of her husband. It wasn’t that she didn’t love them, but that they had all grown apart. Elizabeth never got along with her daughter Evelyn, but she loved her nonetheless, despite the bickering that often occurred between them. Elise had always been close to Elizabeth, and Elizabeth was sure that she’d grow up to make a fine lady. Lastly, Elizabeth’s youngest, Leon, was the most neglected of her children. It wasn’t that Elizabeth didn’t care, she just didn’t have the energy to run after all of her children at once. For the longest time, she regretted having children, but after coming out of a coma, she realized that her children meant the world to her. It wasn’t until Elizabeth saw all that she missed while in her coma that she felt it was time for her to change. Her son was a former drug addict, her sweet Elise was without a husband and raising a child, and the daughter she truly felt would never amount to much without her help was prospering. It felt odd knowing that she didn’t have anything to do with how they ended up, maybe they all would’ve been as successful as Evelyn, who married a prince, if it weren’t for their mother disappearing from their life. 

 

By the time Elizabeth began to work on becoming a better mother, things had already fallen to chaos again. Evelyn was killed, but miraculously brought back to life, her granddaughter was infatuated with some elf boy, and her son was, well, she actually didn’t know WHAT her son was doing. Not only was her relationship with her kids getting nowhere, but she never spoke to her husband anymore. The man she had adored since the day they had danced together purely by being in the right place at the right time.

 

Then one day, distraught still about how she could never achieve what she so desperately wanted to, and missing her husband more than ever, she came back to the manor hoping to catch Claudius at a good time. Instead, she found a note sitting on her husband’s desk. 

Quote

“Dear lovely family,

I’ve been terrible to you all, I realize this now. And I am sorry. The guilt I possess is immeasurable. You all do not deserve to continue living the monster that I am. I love you all more than I love myself by an infinite magnitude. I wish you nothing but success and happiness. All of my assets will be left to you four. I love you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           -Your Terrible Father,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Claudius Halcourt.

Upon reading the note, Elizabeth shed what felt like gallons of tears. 

“You’re a fool Claudius.” She snarled. She felt nothing but contempt, but not for him, for herself. 

He left her behind, she knew this was likely bound to happen, because she had never been a perfect wife, she never showed him how much she truly loved him, not since her children had been born. Her fingers traced the edge of the parchment, a heavy sigh falling from her lips. “A terrible father.” She felt a lump in her throat when she re-read that. He had done everything she was incapable of doing. She was a terrible wife, a terrible mother. He was kind and loving, even if it seems like he never felt that way. 

 

“Je suis desole, mon cheri.” She mumbled in Auvergnian, the language she picked up from Claudius himself.

 

“I’m sorry for not being a better wife, but I will always love you. May you at last find the peace that I could never give you.” The petite woman knew her cries and apologies would never be heard by the man she had loved for a lifetime,  so she simply dropped the letter, falling to her knees and sobbing uncontrollably. Her heart squeezed in her chest and she found it hard to breathe. She wanted to scream out, she wanted to beg Claudius to come back, but it was already too late. 

 

Shakily, she wrote a note next to Claudius’

 

To my lovely children, 

  I’m sorry you never had the parents you deserved. I’m sorry that I could never be there, and I understand if you blame me for all of the things that have gone wrong. If you’ve read the other note, Claudius left. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I feel as though I can no longer go on. I hope you loved me as much as I loved you. I wish I could’ve told you all what you truly meant to me, but as I write, my heart aches stronger and stronger and I can hardly breathe now. You deserved a better mother, a better life. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I hope you’ll accept my apology anyways. Please never forget that you’ve all made me so proud. Please forgive your failure of a mother. Evelyn, Elise, Leon. I love you... now and forever.

 

Eliza- 

 

  The only sound heard throughout the manor was the sound of a quill dropping against the floor of the office and a body thudding against the desk. 

 

All the things Elizabeth wanted for herself and for her children, meant nothing now. After all, there is no meaning in anything when you’re dead.

 

 

Elizabeth Irene Halcourt-Winter de Artois 

Born on the 23^rd of the Deep Cold, 1692 

Died on the ? of Snow’s Maiden, 1746 

 

 

Edited December 13, 2019 by EmiliainWonderland

[Sprinkles 39]

          Claudius sat beside the small fire, wary of the frostbite on his fingers. He was suddenly aware of something. Like he felt something drop. Maybe something was wrong, even more wrong than his situation already was. Of course, he didn’t drop anything. His logical mind went to work and found nothing that could have fallen. “Must have been the wind, or perhaps something from these trees. . .” Claudius thought to himself. And then, “Or, perhaps my sanity. . .” He pondered for a moment, somewhat grateful for the strange event to keep him momentarily distracted from his miserable self.