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Sir Humphrey's Call


Slimmy_Rimmy
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DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A PART OF OR HAVE ANY AFFILIATION WITH THE IMPERIAL STATE ARMY OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE EMPIRE. THANK YOU.

 

’Tis I! ‘Tis I! Noble slayer of hordes and courageous crusader across every corner of every realm! Endurer of blistering winds and scorching deserts. Conqueror of execrable anathemas and egregious plights! With but one manful smite of my brand’s bitter steel, I’ve unmanacled dimensions of my sweltering ire that festers with the calefaction of a thousand wrothful suns! I am Sir Humphrey, and I did not deliver the world time and time again from a myriad of pothering malefactions just so it could be befouled by frog-men and werebeasts! For the malversation and oscitation of our Empire is the warrant we have for needing to constantly bide in inquietude! Let the reign of terror fade! For our next move, brothers and sisters, is to make ME Emperor! And in return, I will give to all of you whatever it is you want (so long as what you want isn’t to be the Emperor, or anything else that I say you can’t have)! Those of you who will join my revolution can find me at the tavern in Helena. Just be sure to pretend like you’re looking over the menu and sporadically gape at the plafond in outward contemplation of the options. For if they know we’re not ordering anything, I fear they might ask us to leave.

 

See You Then!

                                                                                                            ~ Sir Humphrey

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