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The Lusty Kharajyr Maid, Part 3

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During your travels, you may happen across this most trashy of novellas. At first glance, it would seem quite ordinary, until one took a look at the cover art and title. A Kharajyr maid would be on the front, with a title that ought to shock even the most liberal of readers: THE LUSTY KHARAJYR MAID, PART 3: ROUGH WOOD, BRIARWOOD.


The seediness of the novella is apparent...


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Note from the author:

I have been informed the original pieces of literature for The Lusty Kharajyr Maid, Part 3 were suddenly gone from the shelves overnight, while I was still asleep. As I am quite sure it was merely a tragic accident by the librarians and recordkeepers of Arcas, I am once more releasing this rewrite of a classic for the sake of Art, Creativity and Loneliness.
And worry not, dear reader. If anything like this ever happens again we have plenty of ways of spreading this piece in the form of books, performances and word of mouth!


 

Without further ado, “The Lusty Kharajyr Maid”.

 

THE LUSTY KHARAJYR MAID, PART 3: ROUGH WOOD, BRIARWOOD

Written by T. Brock Hauss

 

 

It was a baffling day inside the Grand Palace of Skravia’s kitchen, a place with absolutely no trouble, strife, or unemployment. The grand city of Oren readying itself for yet more war- But also, and perhaps more importantly to some, a Royal Ball! The glorious Vassal, Gawain Briarwood entered the cooking area, already smelling the flavourful aroma coming from Khat En’Heet’s wide oven.

 

“Good day, sir! Whatever brings you into the Kitchen?” The Kharajyr maid questioned, sporting a sweet smile to accompany her baking’s fragrance.

 

“I come under King’s Orders, maid.” The man said, thumping his heavy load onto the table “You are to bake this loaf. At once.”

 

“My goodness, that's quite a loaf!” The girl broke a sweat, wiping her brow with a sigh “How ever shall I get that baked in my oven in time for the Ball?” She promptly went to work on it, getting on her knees to manage its size.

 

Gawain tugged on his belt, pulling out a long shaft of hard wood “Mind if I practice a few strokes while I watch you knead?” The man’s hand strummed his instrument fast, producing loud chords one could hear all over Skravia.

 

“Sir, you mustn't distract me!” She moaned, soaked in sweat. Her mouth wide open. “Your fingers pluck it too much, we’ll get in trouble if you keep making noise!”

 

“Tell me about it.” He hissed, stroking the neck of his instrument as he paused his tune “-The other day I got arrested for fingering A-minor in this very kitchen. The cries of my lute are forbidden here!”

 

“I must have everything in perfect order for the King’s Ball, sir!” The maid snarled, squeezing the dough tightly as she worked it good. “I never could see a single one of them! Now- It’s my chance to be more than just the King’s pole-polisher! I’ll be his Ball-baker too!”

 

“You’ll have plenty time to work your way up, maid.” The man stepped behind Khat En’Heet, his muscles reaching around her to help knead her loaf as he smirked. “But if knowing what Balls need provided is what you want... I’d be glad to show you a taste.”

 

The maid turned her head, her eyes glancing up to meet Briarwood’s. “Then show me how you dance, big boy!” She smirked back, her fur once more covering her blushing cheeks.

 

Little did they know, the Wise King Rocco watched on from afar, still picturing Khat En’Heet’s soft peaches on display the day before, for a curious Oscar Lancefield. Oh, but his revenge was yet to come. Soon- In his great Royal Ball.

 

TO BE CONTINUED...


 

Spoiler

The end of this book marks how one could find the old and important pieces of history that are the original books this was based from.
Those are very much available still. But if they shall ever disappear too, I’ll be ready to hand out my numerous copies.

Part 1

Part 2

 

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Posted (edited)

“I only keeps the book for the jokes...... thats all” *SWEATS*

Edited by Parrot99

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“Artfully written, the most tasteful of distasteful literature I’ve ever seen written. I applaud you.” Ren chuckles, reading over his old friend’s writings. Truly, a well-crafted continuation of a historic piece worthy of being the bard’s masterwork.

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Del is upset that the library had lost the books, she had been waiting on this installment for awhile now. Being a bored housewife, she always found enjoyment in reading this series. ”Shame... Perhaps somehow I can get a copy of this without my husband knowing...” She thought to herself.

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Xinan takes a deep breath ”Even I, an Ape Kha-“ he scoffs at the book debating if he should be sneaking it into his pouch ”Saving you for fire evocation.” he lowly mumbles, leaving.

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“Enthralling tale,” says Avas, putting it on his shelf. He had read it six times for scientific purposes. 

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“T. Brock Hauss.” The High Aelkos rasps, “Hope they still live.”

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Timoteo Lo’Reta, having glanced at the last paragraph, would slowly begin to lose the will to live.

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