Certain Contrite.

[Devdog 367]

Hello! I know this is like super out of the blue, and certainly won’t excuse any of my previous actions on the server, though I have recently been looking back on the things I’ve said and done on the server. The anger and resentment I hold, the hostility and toxicity that I front with is a coping mechanism from my absolute horrific, abusive past. I had to be forcibly removed from living with my mom, and that was nearly three years ago and I’m still dealing with the repercussions and trauma she inflicted on me as a child, and I don’t know if I will ever get over it. At the end of the day I just- Think all of this petty drama and resentment I hold is a beard for the true manifestation of severe mental trauma I’m burdened with.

I’m not afraid to say it. I know I'm a little off my kilter. I know I have anger issues and I know it will never really be an excuse for my previous & future actions, though I just can’t handle being angry and bitter towards people anymore. I became hooked and addicted to Lotc because I was living so shittily for nearly my entire life until my dad took me out of that scenario. It was so amazing to be someone different and not have to just deal with my issues in real life. Lotc allowed me to just breathe for a moment & I really found comfort and security in it, just like many of the people reading this probably do.

I just hope we can all look back and laugh, do our RP and make Lotc a space where kids and people who are going through the most putrid living conditions like lil angry baby DevDog can get a time to breathe and express themselves.

Even if it may seem like I hate you, or you annoy me, I promise I’m just crazy. Please, to the people that I’ve wronged and just said horrible things to, just try to put yourself into someone’s shoes who aren’t the best. I know how everyone on Lotc says it’s a ‘very toxic place’, though I know most of us are VERY bright & so emotionally intelligent, empathetic and  really do care for people & their friends on the server. I know we probably just got off on the wrong foot, or the circumstances we met must have been bad. I just want people to know that I’m so, so sorry and I hope we can all be friends. I know that’s cliché but really. We’ve all witnessed how hard the world can be; to miss Rona, to the civil riots & disorder, to the starving people of Yemen. Let’s all just  look around us and realize we’re stronger together then divided and this is supposed to be a place to escape our problems and have fun!!!. I LOVE YOU ALLL EVEN THE PEOPLE I REALLY SAY I HATE I LOVE YOU ALL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUUUU ALLLL

[RainbowRoad1234 33]

I love you king

[Devdog 367]

1 minute ago, RainbowRoad1234 said:

I love you king

You’re my literal queen, always here for me no matter what. 

[DylanDeNewb 157]

 Ly, lets have some fun with Everett, oki?

[Starfelt 1310]

Moving in a better direction, lets get this bread.

[Cornivore 1292]

My Magic Teacher who gives me lessons occasionaly

[Haesvir 304]

 

[_Sug 1324]

To a new mindset and new opportunity  

[Slayy 813]

A better state of mind!

[rukio 3316]

Its ok gamer

[Devdog 367]

Just now, rukio said:

Its ok gamer

That really does mean a lot. I’m glad we’re all chill now and can giggle about that stuff  

[Knox 740]

if you’re toxic then lock me up.

Its all good Dev

[Tyrone1 614]

Mm epic gamer reformation

[Devdog 367]

On 6/19/2020 at 12:27 AM, Knox said:

if you’re toxic then lock me up.

Its all good Dev

You’re too kind  Thanks so much for replying back. You’re not toxic I promise too Knox 

[manicfairy 174]

This was needed. I’m still very sorry for my past behavior to you however we all make mistakes to reflect on it not hold grudges 

Edited July 1, 2020 by purpleblueberrypunch