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The Taste of the Eternal Uzg

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The Taste of the Eternal Uzg

A Comprehensive Guide on Orcish Cuisine







     Whilst a subject relatively unexplored in scholarly works, or otherwise, Orcish cuisine is a wide subject that us forever subject to radical shifts as we progress into each new realm, and new environments to settle upon. Take this guide with a grain of salt as, Orcish tastes in food tend to differ from each clan and individual, and constantly undergoes significant change across the times; consider this a basis on the general conception of what Orcs frequently enjoy to eat. With that said, feel free to leave any criticism, and Krugmari recipes of your own below.


On Meats and Proteins:


     Generally, Orcs favour hardier proteins over lighter ones; this plays a big part in an Orc’s wellbeing, both physical, and spiritual. Orcs are, in most cases, advised to maintain a mighty physique that leaves fear in those who dare oppose, or pick a fight with them, thus the liking for proteins such as meat, and poultry. However, with that in mind, such sources of meat and/or poultry such as cattle are somewhat scarce under the cancerous sun of the savannah, hence why Orcish cuisine may come off as odd to those unfamiliar with it. Orcs usually take to eating whatever meat is available in the savannah, such would include that of gazelles, to more sturdy flesh, including that of wildebeests. The meat, so long as it is fresh, aged well, and shows no signs of decay may be eaten raw, to the Orcs’ liking.




     Second to an Orc’s taste for game meats is that of swine. Pork, although viewed as that of an unsophisticated diet, is a meat not reared within the savannah. Instead, an Orc may take to hunting it on their own, as the Spirits intended it, or simply purchase it from outside of the savannah; the hardiness of it’s nature makes it optimal for the marginal conditions Orcs are brought up in. However, seldom is swine ever eaten by the Orcs raw, seeing as it may decay rather easily under the sun’s eye. This feat renders preventing significant rot upon the meat from spawning a difficult task, and swine may take as little as two cactus days to grow rotten, but this is no problem to the Orcs for, their immune systems are built to filter out the impurities in such rot.


On Grains and Greens:


     Commonly enjoyed grains amongst the several clans of Krugmar are few as, the average Orc’s diet is mostly consistent of hardier foods, as mentioned earlier on in the guide. With that said, they are not completely out of the picture; maize crops may be harvested, and are favoured across the clans as being one of the healthier dietary options for the growing Orc or Fe-Orc. Rice, too, is a grain enjoyed across Krugmar, primarily because it is so easy to harvest in the savannah. It, in particular, is used frequently in Orcish recipes, specifically Zhroom Gumbo, or Mushroom Stew and Rice, favoured amongst folk of the Madcap and worshippers of the Mushroom Spirit. Zhroom Gumbo is also combined with seafood, such as crawfish and lobster, seeing as the sea is so easily accessible.




     In terms of fruits and vegetables, the healthy Orc may come to a liking of such foods, especially in the most dire of situations. Cactus Apple, or Prickly Pear Fruit, a subspecies of paddle cacti, is amongst the few fruits enjoyed in Krugmar. This fruit can be eaten fresh, dried, or boiled to produce a sweet nectar one may drink alongside his or her food. Agave and Amaranth are also a fitting food for the ever-changing diet of an Orc, Amaranth in particular being both delicious, and easy to harvest, seeing as it thrives in arid conditions, and requires little, to no irrigation to survive. It is commonly used to fortify bread, when mixed in with flour, or simply eaten after being roasted by a fire, giving it a crisp, hard exterior, and soft interior. It’s leaves, too are often served as garnishes for meats, stews, and gumbos.




     The Aizen shrub, whilst more prevalent in desert and oasis regions, is also a herb that serves a part in the everyday Orc’s diet that is to be noted of. Usually used as marination of game meats, and a common ingredient in gumbos, this herb is largely known to be immune to the blazing heat, and insufferable drought, and offers a sweet, nearly toffee-like berry that grows off it that, when dried, may be boiled into a nectary syrup an Orc may use as a refreshment after a long day of hard work. The leaves may be eaten dried, or cooked; the seed itself, boiled or baked; and the root, boiled into a sweet gruel.


On Alcohol Traditions:


     The most widely-respected brew of the Urukhai is Grog, which is brewed in a different way as according to what each specific clan’s traditions call for. The recipe most often used simply for the sake of convenience is Cactus Grog; an Orcish delicacy, put lightly. Harvested from the sweet nectar of a cactus’ inside, this beverage is a hazy hue of white, thick in volume, often inducing hallucinogenic effects upon the lucky drinker, similar to those of Cactus Green, having been drawn from a plant left to dry under the heat of the savannah. Similar in both flavour and scent to rum, it retains the same bittersweet taste as Cactus Apple, and gives a burning sensation in the throat afterwards due to such.





     Similarly to Cactus Grog, or Kaktuz Grog, in Blah, there is Agave Berry Cider, a beverage similar to wine, but significantly hardier. It goes down the throat the same way Rum, or Cactus Grog does; with a burning, tingling sensation. Just as the Cactus Grog, this one puts upon it’s drinker an intense feeling of nausea, and hallucinogenic thoughts and visions, which may include seeing or hearing what may not exist at all; simply senseless babbling and seeing. This is due to the fact that the berries in which the alcohol is drawn from have been left to ferment under the intense heat of the sun.




     The last of the Orcish beverages I will mention here is Akrûm’Ghûd Ran’Ztauk, or Sweet Berry Moonshine, widely regarded as the strongest of the bunch, in both taste and effects on one’s health. It glows a clear shade of grey, similarly to Cactus Grog, and is brewed on makeshift stills, from the fermented nectar of the berry in Agave Berry Cider, traditionally mixed in with maize crops such as corn, and sugar, if available in the savannah, or wherever one may find the need for it. In regards to the effects it has on one’s mind, one may experience a terrible headache for several hours on end, as well as poor memory, and mood swings, typically, mainly due to it not being fertilised long enough.




     As mentioned in the prologue, take this guide with a fair grain of salt, as it is not entirely accurate to every Orc’s dietary tastes and needs, and does not nearly include all Orcish recipes cherished and brought down upon by the descendants. To reiterate another thing the prologue mentioned; feel free to submit recipes of your own Orcs, as I will leave this thread open for comments, and will happily add them later on.



Edited by Hephaestus

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