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ETIQUETTE REFORMS IN THE ROYAL COURT OF HANSETI-RUSKA


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ETIQUETTE REFORMS IN THE ROYAL COURT OF HANSETI-RUSKA

As penned by HER EXCELLENCY, the Lady Chamberlain Rosalind Elizaveta Amador de Astrea and confirmed by HER MAJESTY, Queen Isabel Franziska Barbanov, 353 ES

 

 

Table of Contents

I. Salutations

II. Letters

III. Dining

IV. Behaviour in Court

V. Balls, Masquerades & Parties

VI. Marriage & Courtship

VII. Hauchmetvas

VIII. Conclusion

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I. ETIQUETTE OF SALUTATIONS

 

Salutations are, of all forms of social life, the most constantly in use and therefore one of the highest tests in breeding. Some greetings are as follows:

 

-A nod or dip of a chin may suffice for nobility

-A bow will be interchanged when the nature of the relationship is a cordial one.

-Hands will be shaken in any situation by both sexes. 

-A greeting of a kiss is incompatible in public settings. 

-Regardless of nobility standing, a curtsey or bow must always be presented when in the presence of the direct royal family. It is recommended, not required, to curtsey or bow to other royalty of the kingdom outside of the direct line.

 

Noblemen and women should present themselves with an honest and strong air and aura, though avoid ill will in their tone when first addressing one another. It is disagreeable and disrespectful to address a royal by their forename unless allowed such in a private setting, or any other monikers or ‘nicknames’. 

 

To quote directly from the work of HRM Queen Maya of Muldav and HRH Princess Sofiya Theodosiya Barbanov–

 

The King / Koeng

In Oration: “His Royal Majesty” 

In Address: “Your Royal Majesty” or informally “Your Majesty”

Alternately, “My liege” or “Sire” may be preferred by courtiers after an initial greeting.

 

The Queen / Koenas

In Oration: “Her Royal Majesty” 

In Address: “Your Royal Majesty” or informally “Your Majesty”

Alternately, “My Queen,” may be preferred by courtiers after an initial greeting.

 

Grand Prince / Hauchprinzen ; Grand Princess / Hauchprinzenas ; Princess Royal (Duchess of Karosgrad)

In Oration: “His/Her Serene Highness” 

In second person: “Your Serene Highness” or informally “Your Serenity.”

Alternately, “My Lord / My Lady” may be preferred by courtiers after an initial greeting.

  

Prince / Prinzen ; Princess / Prinzenas

In Oration: “His/Her Royal Highness” 

In Address: “Your Royal Highness” or informally “Your Highness.”

Alternately, “My Lord / My Lady” may be preferred by courtiers after an initial greeting.

 

Duke / Herzen ; Duchess / Herzenas

In Oration: “His/Her Grace” 

In Address: “Your Grace.”

Alternately, “My Lord / My Lady” may be preferred by courtiers after an initial greeting.

 

Margrave / Margravir ; Margravir / Margraviras

In Oration: “The Most Honorable” 

In Address: “My Lady / My Lord.”

Alternately, “Madam or Sir” may be preferred by courtiers after an initial greeting.

 

Count / Komit ; Countess / Komitas

In Oration: “The Right Honorable” 

In Address: “My Lady / My Lord.”

Alternately, “Madam or Sir” may be preferred by courtiers after an initial greeting.

 

Viscount / Vikomit ; Viscountess / Vikomitas

In Oration: “The Right Honorable” 

In Address: “My Lady / My Lord.”

Alternately, “Madam or Sir” may be preferred by courtiers after an initial greeting.

 

Baron / Bossir ; Baroness / Bossiras

In Oration: “The Right Honorable” 

In Address: “My Lady / My Lord.”

Alternately, “Madam or Sir” may be preferred by courtiers after an initial greeting.

 

Knight / Dame; Kossin / Kossaras

In Oration: “The Honorable” 

In Address: “Ser [NAME]” or “Dame [NAME]”

 

Addressing Government Officials:

 The Lord Palatine / Palatin Herzen ; Lady Palatine / Palatin Herzenas and any other members of the Aulic Council:

In Oration: “His/Her Excellency” 

In Address: “Your Excellency”

 

The High Steward / Stewards

In Oration: “The Right Honorable” 

In Address: “High Seneschal”

 

The Royal Chamberlain / Kambelan Herzenas

In Oration: “The Right Honorable” 

In Address: “Lord/Lady Chamberlain”

 

The Grand Lady / Haucherzenas

In Oration: “Her Ladyship” 

In Address: “Your Ladyship”

 

Secretary of the Queen

In Oration: “His/Her Lordship/Ladyship” 

In Address: “Your Lordship/Ladyship”

 

Knight Paramount / Dame Paramount;  Kossin Wazoberiz / Kossaras Wazoberiz

In Oration: “The Right Honorable” 

In Address: “Lord/Lady Paramount” or “Ser [NAME] / “Dame [NAME]”

 

To note; the sons and daughters lacking of title but of noble birth may be styled as “The Honorable, Lord [NAME] / Lady [NAME]” and furthermore addressed as “Lord [NAME] / Lady [NAME]”.

 

 

II. LETTERS

 

The art of composing a letter to anyone is a learned talent. Letters and calling cards are expected as a way of gratitude after a family has graciously hosted an event or dinner. Letters are also a way of solidifying courtship. Those particular notes should be crafted mindfully with tone and word choice in mind. 

 

Handwriting should be clear, not too large and bold yet possessing some kind of character or style. Formal salutations begin the letter - [See I. SALUTATIONS] or perhaps for a more affectionate affect are as follows;

 

My Dear Sir, My Lady.

 

When writing to friends the tone can afford to be colloquial, the style irregular - portraying a true picture of that who is writing it. If familiar, letters to friends and family could begin with sentiments like “Dear [name]”. 

 

The letter can end with phrases such as: yours faithfully, sincerely, your obedient servant. It is important to select both an ending and a salutation to match how you wish to be perceived (humble, affectionate and so forth), the tone of the letter and to whom it is written to.  

 

It is worth noting that although one doesn’t need to open the letter with their full titles, you should observe this on the envelope and at the end of the letter. Signing with one’s full name, including any ranks, decorations or honours applicable. This also avoids the unfortunate situation of the recipient not recognising the name. 

 

Letters should be sealed with a wax stamp - the sigil of the sender’s house. 

 

An example of how a letter is constructed

 

Your Highness,

 [an informal address to the Prinzenas. “Your Royal Highness” would be appropriate if the sender wasn’t familiar with the Prinzenas prior to penning the letter]

 

The content of the letter follows, speaking fairly formally unless on close terms with the recipient. 

 

Yours faithfully, 

Lady Rosalind Amador de Astrea, Chamberlain of Hanseti-Ruska. 

 

 

III. ETIQUETTE OF DINING

 

Punctuality at a scene of festivity is imperative. Upon arrival you must be almost blind and deaf to everybody until you reach the hostess. After paying your respects to the lady one may condescend to look about for the purpose of recognising friends. 

 

Dinner shall then be announced and the hosts will lead the party into the dining room. If the dining table should be laid out as head and foot the lady of the house shall take the head of the table, the foot the host. On each of their rights shall sit the most important male guests and on their left, the most valued female guests. If you haven’t been approached prior to dinner’s announcement with a request for sitting there, don't be so callous as to sit in those places. 

 

If there is a head table apart from the longer one, seating plans do not matter. If seated at a table with the King or Queen-Consort directly at it, one must ask for their dismissal before leaving. Such is not required in the presence of peerage and their consorts, but is respected that all do so nonetheless in formality. If at an official event, informal dinner, or feast– dismissal is not required and only can leave at their own leisure. 

 

Hands must be folded in one’s lap, elbows off the table. An upright posture is also essential; leaning back, lounging or slouching are seen as symptoms of a disinterested comportment and therefore constitute great insults. Men and women both dine without gloves. It goes without being said that fighting, crude language and unprompted wild behaviour that is impolite will not be tolerated - both at the table and outside. Being a member of the Court of Hanseti-Ruska means upholding standards of being respectable, well-mannered and polite.

 

Having once seated yourself, spread the napkin on your knees. The instant you receive your plate of soup commence your dinner; for the practice of waiting till everybody else is helped is an eminent proof of under breeding. Be certain to sign the Lorraine Cross over yourself before eating and consciously say a prayer of thanks to God, should there be no prayer done by the host or a clergyman. Should a toast be proposed, simply raise your glass towards the person doing such. If others clink glasses together, be mindful of the fine crystal or material of the glasses so as to not make an overtly loud clatter and to not break it. 

 

If you dislike any dish you need only make an appearance of eating and a servant will soon relieve you of your plate. It should be noted that the fork is held in the left hand, the knife in the right. When finished, bring your utensils parallel to one another. Whilst dining, you must not also portray any behaviour of the following: burping, sharing or throwing food, slurping, or coughing without doing so into your handkerchief. 

 

An inattentive hostess will frequently prolong the sitting and increase the whole quantity of wine drunk by the men if she does not give the signal for the ladies retiring the instant they have ceased to drink wine or partake in the dessert. At the signal from the hostess the ladies rise and retire to the drawing room.

 

Once the ladies have departed the male guests can close up for the purpose of drinking more wine. 

 

After having dined at a private house a brief morning call is expected in the days afterward where the guest will leave a calling card or, should they run into the host’s family, make polite conversation- mentioning their gratitude.   

 

 

IV. BEHAVIOUR IN COURT

 

When court is in session, voices must be kept to a murmur so as to not disrupt the proceedings. Laughter and giggling shouldn’t be excessive. Members of the royal family should be addressed by their title during official events and public appearances. [See I. SALUTATIONS] 

 

 Clothing within court should be more formal than everyday wear, retaining modesty. Headwear and bonnets should be taken off once inside out of respect for the royal family. Place them atop one’s lap or hold them courteously to the side. It should be added that tiaras, circlets and crowns are to be worn by royalty only or those of princely status. To note, fashion regarding furs is of most agreeable nature, as is any dress akin to that of the Queen or Princesses. Furthermore, sashes are only to be worn by members of the royal family, as well as peers and their consorts.

 

Gossiping and snide comments are discouraged from court and can be a serious offence if the talk is regarding a member of the royal family or a noble of higher status than oneself. Behaviour and good habits involve not fidgeting and fussing, an essential upright posture and a demeanour of respectability and calmness.

 

 

V. BALLS, MASQUERADES & PARTIES

 

One should always, upon arrival, greet and thank the hostess of said party before making the rounds of the room, greeting and being introduced to different circles. 

 

At such occasions one must try to present an easy and natural manner as to not seem awkward in public. Balls and parties are fabulous events to practise dancing, polish conversation skills and meet new people and so attendance must be encouraged. 

 

Every well-bred attendee should be fairly well-acquainted with the steps to waltzes and the boulanger (a classic line dance). When dancing, it is good etiquette to pay attention to your partner - not to let your eyes drift across the room. I quote from an etiquette manuscript regarding choosing partners: 

 

“A gentleman of genuine politeness will not give all his time and attention to the belles of the evening, but will at least devote some thought to the wall-flowers who sit on the sidelines or perhaps might be unattended.” 

 

At a hauchmetvas or ball of honour it is customary that the guest of honour should begin the first dance with their partner of choice. [See VI. HAUCHMETVAS] 

 

(An additional note: if you should refuse a dance with someone do it gently and kindly, making an excuse of fatigue or dizziness. However, it shows bad character if you decline one dance and almost immediately get up to waltz with another partner.)

 

For larger, formal occasions dresses are required to be well-made and of fine material. Jewellery and detailed design can add to a garment nicely. For the less formal feasts or family affairs, simpler colours and designs are appropriate. In court, dresses are expected to be finely-made. Ornaments and flowers can be added to hair, subtle yet indicating attention to the smallest detail. 

 

In winter, thick furred dress coats are encouraged over the top of usual dresses and clothes. Darker gloves are traditional. One might choose to wear more practical footwear for the harsher terrain.

 

In the summer, thinner material is encouraged to avoid overheating. Pinafore haeseni and ruskan ‘sanguss’ or ‘sanbej’ dresses are a typical Hanseni everyday style, but are discouraged for formal occasions and court. Bright colours, patterns and layering to clothes are encouraged in all climates. 

[a guide to further information regarding fashion will be released soon]

 

Again we reiterate, after such an event drop a letter or a personal visit to thank the hostess. This action is necessary for private or noble parties. From royal invitations, mentioning your gratitude in court small talk will suffice.

 

 

VI. MARRIAGE & COURTSHIP

 

Courtship can be defined as a period during which a couple develops a romantic (or mutually beneficial) relationship, especially with the view to marriage. 

 

One’s parents might decide upon a potential match for their child and encourage the union. This practice protects the question of the child’s chastity and partly can serve as a matter of furthering family interests, which, in some situations, may be considered more important than individual romantic preferences. It is highly recommended for those of noble birth to find a suitable match befitting their rank or above, most commonly and preferably done through arrangement.   

 

For both man and woman, respectability is key in society to be considered a good match. All should strive to meet this standard of upholding society’s values. For the woman’s part some respected attributes are that of clear-headedness, sweetness, confidence, modesty and being free from envy and vanity. For her male counterpart: reliability, sobriety, strength and reasoning are all valued assets.

 

Functions and events serve as opportunities for youths to be introduced to one another by a mutual or familial acquaintance. Such occasions might be more formal dances and balls [See IV. BALLS, MASQUERADES AND PARTIES] as well as shoots, hunts, calling on neighbours and fêtes.

 

Once introduced to a woman of interest, it is expected that the man sends the initial letter or begins a conversation. Correspondence through letters and arranged meetings are a good way to make intentions clear. Activities including riding, going on walks, having tea or drinks or finding a place to sit down are some good ideas to spend time together. Being alone in one another’s houses without a chaperone is discouraged before engagement. 

 

The groom must ask formal permission from the patriarch/matriarch of the bride’s family before going ahead. Arrangements will be discussed, including logistics, requests and bridal prices. 

 

The courting process of yore has been irredeemably forgotten in effect of generations of cultural drift, left to wallow in a fraction of its former standing. With the re-establishment of old etiquette, it has been recommended that traditional methods of courtship should be received. 

 

Bridewealth is the money, livestock or gifts paid by the groom or his family to their future in-laws, before or in the beginning of their marriage. It serves as a gesture of commitment to the relationship as well as recognising the value of the woman he intends to marry.

 

Once the engagement is announced there should be a fairly short period between said declaration and the marriage ceremony. Sincere affections can be killed by the restraints of an arduous engagement - or a long engagement might be deemed unnecessary when matrimony has already been arranged. 

 

On the morn of the wedding, the bride should dress with her female companions and family members, arriving at the Basilica to be walked down the aisle. Once the ceremony is over and the pair are wed under the watchful eye of GOD it is the couple’s choice to hold a reception - however large. It could be an intimate family affair or a larger feast. 

 

Once married both sides must uphold their vows: never tolerating the advances of someone outside of the marriage; remaining faithful to one another.  

 

 

VII. HAUCHMETVAS

 

A ball for the daughters or sisters of the sovereign monarch upon their coming of age. Translated into the common tongue as a ‘debutante.’ Traditionally held on the eve of the princess’ 14th nameday, it is an acknowledgement that she is ready to begin courting and leaving behind some of her youthful days. The Lady’s Hauchmetvas is also recommended (although not required) for the daughters and sisters of Dukes or Duchesses. 

 

During a Lady’s Hauchmetvas, decorations must be of the princess’s favored colors. Furthermore, favourite cuisines and beverages are to be served as well during the event. The first dance of the night must be started by the princess with whomever her partner may be. 


The night prior to the event, a custom known as Burning of Age occurs - whereby the princess takes three symbols of her childhood and burns them in a great pyre. The private event is open only to the princess’ family and perhaps a close friend she wishes to be there. Before each item is tossed into the flames, she explains the memories and meaning behind each one. 

 

 

VIII. CONCLUSION

 

This edition of the handbook should be your closest friend and comfort regarding expected behaviour. Therefore, it should be treated with the utmost respect. Those who fail to follow elements of mannerisms and behaviour face ostracisation and disgrace.

 

Once these guidelines are utilised in everyday life they become much simpler and easier to remember. With these reforms it allows us to look back to older more traditional Hanseti-Ruska values which have been brushed aside. 

 

Any questions or recommendations for further in-depth guides on navigating social situations or etiquette that hasn’t been included in this handbook; send a letter to Rosalind Amador de Astrea. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Signed,

Her Royal Majesty, Isabel Franziska Barbanov, Queen-Consort of Hanseti-Ruska

 

Her Excellency, Rosalind Elizaveta Amador de Astrea, Lady Chamberlain of the Royal Courts of Hanseti-Ruska


Her Excellency, Irena Ceciliya Ruthern, Lady Speaker of the Royal Duma

 

 

 

Spoiler

thank you @Eryane for your help ❤️

 

 

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Late in the evening of that particular saint's day in which the etiquette document was released, a courier came to Irena Ruthern's office of the Lady Speaker. "A fine work by the Lady Rosalind Amador. One of the most well-versed and educated woman of the Haeseni royal courts. I can only wish her the best of luck in any future endeavors whilst upon the Queen's Council." 

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Vasili Vanir chuckles when he read number IV as he remembers the last court and how his Nephew Fiske said something about the king    @Sander

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