MadOne 3386 Share Posted March 7, 2021 Eau de Viktor HOW TO GET WOMEN SWOONING OVER YOU As a man, it is inconveniently tough to have knowhow about how women operate when choosing their lifelong companion. Some like big men, some like smaller, lankier lads. However, with Eau de Viktor, sourced from the long-reigning wisdom of Viktor Lorenz Barclay provided to you by Barclay Bargains, you do not need to worry about sizes; you do not need to be concerned with colour or design of your clothes. You are sure to please. Viktor is surely the kind of luxury that she wants. Viktor Lorenz, presenting the famed Eau de Viktor Viktor’s Reinmaren scent is pleasurably masculine, laced with herbal remedies that will make women swoon before you with a whiff! Take it from Stefan Vyronov, the newly-made Baron of Astfield. Many know the recently published story about Mr. Vyronov’s prowess and virility, but no one knows the true story about what makes him so masculine. Baron Stefan Vyronov in an advert brochure. We asked Mr. Vyronov what makes him irresistible to common women, and royalty alike, and he answered with a simple statement. “Well, y’see, I had all these problems. I had my father refusing to abdicate, I had women run away from me screamin’ when they caught a whiff of my coat. Then, I strolled up to my local Barclay Bargains store, put on a drop of Viktor, and now they could not get enough of me! Even my father decided that I was simply a better ruler than him overnight and abdicated! One night, I was a total failure and the next day, Viktor completely transformed me!” -Baron Stefan of Astfield, 11th of Sun's Smile. As the Baron walked off from the interview, we noticed him ensnare the young Marie Barclay within his grasp! So, gentlemen of Haense! For all your aphrodisiac needs, be sure to drop by YOUR local Barclay Bargains store and ask for only the finest Eau de Viktor. This message was brought to you by Barclay Bargains Limited. Any damage to marriages, burnt skin tissue, half-elven mongrels, loss of virginity caused by use of this product are the sole liability of the user. Side effects may include; convulsions, loss of faith, switching of orifices, ingrown eyes, dry mouth, loss of appetite, rashes, ritualistic lashes, unintentional rhyming, hallucinations, enjoyment of Canonist music, decrease in usage of contraception, anxiety, permanent headache, AND MANY MORE! CAN YOU CATCH A NEW ONE TODAY? BARCLAY BARGAINS 24 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
garentoft 8353 Share Posted March 7, 2021 "My name is Franz Barbanov, and I use Eau de Viktor." stated Franz Barbanov. 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
erictafoya 2308 Share Posted March 7, 2021 "Now this is a Barclay Bargain!" Igor exclaimed 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
argonian 12837 Share Posted March 7, 2021 Ailred dips into the back of the store to fill more bottles with Eau de Viktor's secret formula In the same room, Viktor Lorenz Barclay drips his sweat into bottles. 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfey34 243 Share Posted March 7, 2021 Stefan looks down at the paper with confusion "When did I say that? What the ****?" he stops for a moment and looks down at the sketch of him and Marie "Wait, that's what he was sketching??? He said it was for religious matters!". Stefan sighs "At least they got me with the one person who actually likes me in that way" 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousAlexa 3877 Share Posted March 7, 2021 "Manfred certainly needs some Eau de Viktor," remarked the Duchess-Dowager, Isabella Barclay, nose wrinkling as she pictured the smell of her husband after his prolongued sessions of cabbage farming. 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legoboy7984 2441 Share Posted March 7, 2021 The old Stefan Vyronov lofts a brow. "This saints day has been a weird day for my family, at least from my point of view." 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickaelhz 3832 Share Posted March 7, 2021 "Why would i want women swooning over me?" mutters Big Tony as he stares into a mirror, scrunching up his nose. "Yuck." 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodGuyMatt 7063 Share Posted March 8, 2021 Ser Brandt Barclay nods and smiles as he approves. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fionn__TWG 2616 Share Posted March 8, 2021 Fionn Castaway sits there in total shock, not being able to understand how anyone other than Ser Brandt Barclay could come up with such a genius product. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodGuyMatt 7063 Share Posted March 10, 2021 On 3/8/2021 at 12:59 PM, FionnTWG said: Fionn Castaway sits there in total shock, not being able to understand how anyone other than Ser Brandt Barclay could come up with such a genius product. Ser Brandt Barclay has raised his sons right. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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