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The Ballad of Augustus Flay


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THE BALLAD OF AUGUSTUS FLAY

 

Performed by Corwin Alstreim for

the Northern Geographic Society's

50th Anniversary Banquet

 

Including four never-before-seen verses

cut for time from the performance!

 

Concept, verses 1, 4

and the first half of 13

by James Chapel

 

Otherwise by

Dame Yuliya Styrne

 

(Sung spritely, with melodramatic menace)

 

1.

My name is old Augustus Flay,
The flinty bandit king.
So much defamed in recent days -
In my defense, I'll sing!

 

2.

Old Godfrey wouldn't have a throne
If not for me and mine -
He was ashamed to look my way,
But he paid us mighty fine!

 

3.

We bandits surely made a splash
When we arrived in Oren's court!
O'er the nobles, I stood tall and proud -
(Though I'm actually quite short!) 

 

4.

Though harsh to my opponents,
They were mercifully spared
By my signature red scarf
The sight that's under there!

 

5.

My forces conquered Seventis,
Salvus and Hanseti -
Eventually, I realized
The king I deserved to be!

 

6.

For in my youth, they called me Prince
Despite my nasty manner -
And a prince should one day take the throne,
So I raised my gory banner!

 

7.

I called my soldiers to my side
And told them we'd rebel -
But the only king I'd ever be
Is a king reigning down in Hell! 

 

8.

But there were traitors there among
Those men I thought were loyal
And they shared the news about my plans
With the Horen royal!

 

9.

He banished me to live at sea -
A punishment most grim,
For, you see, I never learned
Exactly how to swim!

 

10.

Now I'm stuck deep down in Hell,
Right next to the Denier,
With fiends mocking me forevermore
As I burn here in the fire!

 

11.

Yet if I had just one more chance
To do it all again -
I can't say I'd change a single thing,
Even with this end!

 

12.

For they wrote my name in hist'ry books,
In poems, songs, and plays!
And that fact will keep me warm
Until the End of Days!

 

13.

I might not have been intelligent, 
Or virtuous, or bathed.

But all of Oren feared my name
And my bloody, scarlet blade!

 

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"I wonder if we could translate this to Waldenian," mused the famed singer, awaiting the day some author would commit to bringing alive the heroic epic tale of Corvinus Flay and his adversary Tony de Sola - in large print.

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2 minutes ago, LithiumSedai said:

"I wonder if we could translate this to Waldenian," mused the famed singer, awaiting the day some author would commit to bringing alive the heroic epic tale of Corvinus Flay and his adversary Tony de Sola - in large print.

 

"Bet" replied some Reinmaren with great Waldenian skills

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Somewhere in the Seven Skies...

 

Yuliya Styrne walks into the office of her far-distant ancestor Lorin Blackmont - the wife of the man featured in the ballad. She slaps the sheet music down on her ancestor's desk with enough force to send Lorin's other papers flying.

 

"We have to make him sing it," Yuliya says, planting her hands on the desk and leaning forward with a radiating intensity.

 

Lorin picks up the sheet music and shuffles through it with a furrowed brow. Her cobalt eyes widen with mischief as an enormous grin overtakes her face. "Good God. I think he'd rather be flayed alive inch by inch by Mirtok DeNurem," she chuckles, covering her mouth with her hand.

 

"All the more reason if you ask me," Yuliya replies. "He's already in Hell. How much worse can this be?"

 

"With that man's pride?" Lorin snickers. "You have no idea."

 

"Think you can call in a few favors?"

 

"Let's make it happen."

 

The show at the La Fleur Theater in The Seven Skies that night would surely be one to remember.

 

((post is noncanon and just for funnies))

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38 minutes ago, Urara said:

Somewhere in the Seven Skies...

 

Yuliya Styrne walks into the office of her far-distant ancestor Lorin Blackmont - the wife of the man featured in the ballad. She slaps the sheet music down on her ancestor's desk with enough force to send Lorin's other papers flying.

 

"We have to make him sing it," Yuliya says, planting her hands on the desk and leaning forward with a radiating intensity.

 

Lorin picks up the sheet music and shuffles through it with a furrowed brow. Her cobalt eyes widen with mischief as an enormous grin overtakes her face. "Good God. I think he'd rather be flayed alive inch by inch by Mirtok DeNurem," she chuckles, covering her mouth with her hand.

 

"All the more reason if you ask me," Yuliya replies. "He's already in Hell. How much worse can this be?"

 

"With that man's pride?" Lorin snickers. "You have no idea."

 

"Think you can call in a few favors?"

 

"Let's make it happen."

 

The show at the La Fleur Theater in The Seven Skies that night would surely be one to remember.

 

((post is noncanon and just for funnies))

 

Gaius Marius attended the play at La Fleur Theater in the Seven Skies, curious to hear about this Augustus Flay character. He sat down, prim and proper, and found himself enthralled while listening to the verses until stanza 5.

 

My forces conquered Seventis,
Salvus and
Hanseti -
Eventually, I realized
The king I deserved to be!

 

Gaius Marius' face grew pale and then reddened with embarassment. He began taking small breathes to regain composure and did a number of hand gestures, as taught by his shrink, to help regain composure.

 

Baby Girl Middle Finger GIF - BabyGirl MiddleFinger Mood GIFs

 

[[Banter post, but in all seriousness, this read wonderfully. Good job @Wholesome_Thomas ]]

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3 hours ago, LithiumSedai said:

"I wonder if we could translate this to Waldenian," mused the famed singer, awaiting the day some author would commit to bringing alive the heroic epic tale of Corvinus Flay and his adversary Tony de Sola - in large print.

 

Not many days after the publication, a Waldenian version of the song would find itself published about:

 

DIE BALLADE VON AUGUSTUS FLAY

 

Translated by the great Reinmaren scholar

Erich Erwin Barclay, Baron von Sigradz, Chieftain von Isolrich

 

Aufgeführt von Corwin Alstreim für

der Northern Geographic Society

Bankett zum 50-jährigen Jubiläum

 

1.

Mein Name ist der alte Augustus Flay,
Der Feuerstein-Banditenkönig.
So viel diffamiert in den letzten Tagen -
Zu meiner Verteidigung werde ich singen!

 

2.

Der alte Godfrey hätte keinen Thron
Wenn nicht für mich und meine -
Er schämte sich, in meine Richtung zu schauen,
Aber er hat uns mächtig gut bezahlt!

 

3.

Wir Banditen haben sicherlich für Furore gesorgt
Als wir in Orens Hof ankamen!
Über den Adligen stand ich groß und stolz -
(Obwohl ich eigentlich ziemlich klein bin!)

 

4.

Obwohl hart zu meinen Gegnern
Wurden sie gnädig verschont 
Durch meinen charakteristischen Schal,
Was ein Anblick darunter ist!

 

5.

Meine Streitkräfte eroberten Seventis.
Salvus und Hanseti -
Irgendwann wurde mir klar
Der König, den ich verdient habe!

 

6.

Denn in meiner Jugend nannten sie mich Prinz
Trotz meiner bösen Art -
Und ein Prinz sollte eines Tages den Thron besteigen,
Also habe ich mein blutiges Banner gehisst!

 

7.

Ich rief meine Soldaten an meine Seite
Und sagte ihnen, wir würden rebellieren -
Aber der einzige König, den ich jemals sein würde
Regiert ein König in der Hölle!

 

8.

Aber da waren Verräter
Diese Männer, die ich für loyal hielt
Und sie teilten die Neuigkeiten über meine Pläne
Mit dem Horen Königlich!

 

 

9.

Er hat mich verbannt, um auf See zu leben -
Eine Strafe, die am schlimmsten ist,
Denn ich habe nie gelernt
Genau wie man schwimmt!

 

10.

Jetzt stecke ich tief in der Hölle fest,
Direkt neben dem Denier,
Mit Unholden, die mich für immer verspotten
Da brenne ich hier im Feuer!

 

11.

Aber wenn ich nur noch eine Chance hätte
Um alles noch einmal zu machen -
Ich kann nicht sagen, dass ich etwas ändern würde,
Auch mit diesem Ende!

 

12.

Denn sie haben meinen Namen in historische Bücher geschrieben,
In Gedichten, Liedern und Theaterstücken!
Und diese Tatsache wird mich warm halten
Bis zum Ende der Tage!

 

13.

Ich wäre vielleicht nicht intelligent gewesen,
Oder tugendhaft oder gebadet.

Aber ganz Oren fürchtete meinen Namen
Und meine blutige, scharlachrote Klinge!

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