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To the Kingdom of Nuurland: An Ultimatum


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TO THE KINGDOM OF NUURLAND;

AN ULTIMATUM

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This 9th of Tov ag Yermey, 384 E.S.

 


 

TO THE KINGDOM OF NUURLAND

By order of Her Royal Majesty, Koenas Anastasya I, the following communication shall be made to the Dual Kings, and the Kingdom of Nuurland itself. Events between our two nations have reached the final days of decision. For two whole months, the Kingdom of Hoonseti-Rooska and the Kingdom of Nuurland have pursued each other in cooperation, and even friendship (in OUR HEADS). 

Our nation will continue to be the coolest, and strongest ever, while we try to do a lot of really cool things. Cooler than Nuurland.  First, we will shut down ALL BULLIES and bring all enemies of the Highloonds to justice. And, second, we must prevent enemies who copy our Kingdom and try to be as cool as us. Because they can not be like us. We’re Hoonse and they’re not.

To the Kings of Nuurland, we say no more.We have done nothing to have you copy us, but we will do everything to end it. The Crown wishes not to break this unprecedented peace. Therefore, to the Kings of Nuurland — consider this our final warning. Below is a list of grievances inflicted upon our Canoonist State;

 

I. Copying our declaration of independence. That was really mean

II. Trying to make pictures better than us. We don’t even know why you would try we have the best artists in the realm. So not cool.

III. Calling adults smelly: they’re tyrants, but they're not smelly. My Mamej smells really good.

 


 

With these grievances in mind, the Kingdom of Hoonseti-Rooska hereby demands the following terms be met;

 

I. A Public Apology for being super mean to the Aulic Council of Hoonseti-Rooska and the Crown.

II. A Payment of  FIFTY KRAWNS for being big copy-cats of the Aulic Government and the Kingdom of Hoonseti-Rooska.

III. A supply of eight hermit crabs - one for each member of the Aulic Government and the Crown.

 

The Crown offers one Saint’s Week for the following terms to be met by the Kingdom of Nuurland, else an official Declaration of War shall be made. It is the hope of the Crown that these matters be resolved peacefully, through diplomatic solutions. However, if our demands are not met, if our grievances are not remedied; we shall pursue rectification with the utmost vigilance. No matter the means; no matter the cost. (we don’t care about bloodshed. We have the strongest military ever. We are not afraid.) 

 


        IV JOVEO MAAN

        Her Royal Majesty, Anastasya “the Perfect”, by the Grace of Godan, Queen of Hoonseti and Rooska, The Coolest Person in the World, Beloved Leader of Everyone, Absolutely the Most Beautiful Person You Will Ever Meet and I Don’t Care What You Have to Say About it Eirik Baruch.

His Excellency, Eirik Baruch, Lord Palatine of Hoonseti-Rooska, Anastasya, Why Do You Keep Making Me Write These. There Are So Many Servants In The Palace You Literally Have At Least Twenty Personal Servants.

Her Excellency, Margot Sofiya Baruch, Aulic Envoy of the Kingdom of Hoonseti-Rooska, Honestly I’m Just Glad To Be Here, Although I Would Rather Be Playing Pirates In All Honesty, But I Guess Being Lady Envoy Is Pretty Cool Too. Pirates Get In Really Big Fights You Know, That’s Pretty Much Like Going To War, My Papej Told Me That War Is For Really Tough People - Oh, Apparently I’m Supposed To Stop Writing Now. 

 

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[!] A very quick reply is sent to the Kingdom of Hoonseti-Rooska

Nuurlund.thumb.png.71706fb672e2cacf26646400c0b79b9d.png

 

To the Kingdom of Hoonseti-Ruska;

 

No.

 

Signed,

Friedrich Bishop, King of Nuurlund

Ragnvald Eiriksson, King of Nuurlund

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20 hours ago, Javert said:

[!] A very quick reply is sent to the Kingdom of Hoonseti-Rooska

Nuurlund.thumb.png.71706fb672e2cacf26646400c0b79b9d.png

 

To the Kingdom of Hoonseti-Ruska;

 

No.

 

Signed,

Friedrich Bishop, King of Nuurlund

Ragnvald Eiriksson, King of Nuurlund

“Based” Say Ser Reinhardt Barclay

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"This made me cringe and almost die" stated the not so young Sigismund Aleksandr.

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