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DECLARATION OF WAR


WrathOfQuacken
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OOC: This is an in-character post from the perspective of a jester with loose screws. It should be taken with a grain of salt, not seriously, for it was written for your in-character and OOC amusement.




A very expressive halfling jester heard news of the recent rebellion. It seemed as if the whole world was taking part in it. This upset poor lil Snoots, who felt rather left out of the conflict. Thus, Snoots decided to declare a war of her own. Alas, since Snoots couldn't read or write, she had to abduct someone who did- or rather...break character to politely ask a passerby for help -"Excuse me, sir...?"-, assuring them it'd be the funniest stunt in recent history...

And thus, the following missive was drawn out, printed and sent out across the continent for anyone who'd read this trash...



 


---To All Nations, Settlements, Companies, Races, Factions and Individuals of Almaris---


Long enough has Snoots endured yam's tyranny
Actually, write, like, uuuh- Wait, are you writing down what I'm saying now? NO! Don't write that bit down- new line

In the name of Snoots the Great, the first of Snoots, Snoots declares war on everyone in Almaris expect for the following: Ren, the nice dark elf, and the people Snoots likes. But not the people Snoots doesn't like, Snoots declares war on you, too.
Snoots is very angry with the tomfoolery that went on without Snoots. Snoots finds this Snootingly outrageous and will not let it go unpunished. So, as Snoots said, Snoots declares war no, put it in the big letters. Huge. WAR

Snoots demands the following as compensation in exchange for peace:

3 bottles of grape juice (The good kind)
A nice coat, preferably blue and not too expensive.
A free horse ride (on a big horse)
Addition of the word "Snoots" to the Common dictionary, and all languages.
A gingerbread house.
A cranberry pie.
A blueberry pie.
A raspberry pie
A mixed berry pie.
An apple pie.
A cream pie with cherries.
A custard pie with cinnamon
A chocolate pie, with no bits.
A meat pie.
A chicken pie with mushrooms.
A chicken pie without mushrooms.
A new set of juggling balls.
New bells.
A new woolly blanket.
A pet snugget.
A second gingerbread house.
A fork for my pies.


Send a bird to Snoots when you are either ready to pay the fee, or fight me to the death!
Maybe not to the death, though, just, like, a whack or two. But not too hard.



Playing Cards with Sexy Girl Vector Images (52)   [!] A sketch of Snoots, the first of Snoots was included at the bottom
 

Signed,
Her Majestical High Grace Snoots, The First of Snoots, Jester of the Jesters, Warmaster of Snoots, Admiral Commanding Generalling Chief officer captain-sergeant yes put all those titles


Free Download Hand Print Images Transparent Background - Clip Art Library

Edited by WrathOfQuacken
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Mellow read the missive and sighed. Looks like the Aurelius tradition of being killed by lovers continues...

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Rebeka la Waevra laughed a bit reading the missive, "Snoots is too funny." She shook her head, "So many demands for pie... hmm.." She looks towards her recipe book.

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"All respect went out the door at the mention of pies with mushrooms, only Iblees' followers would eat such a foul, inedible 'food'." Sigmar Baruch uttered his unpopular opinion in public.

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4 hours ago, Tulan said:

"All respect went out the door at the mention of pies with mushrooms, only Iblees' followers would eat such a foul, inedible 'food'." Sigmar Baruch uttered his unpopular opinion in public.

They hated Sigmar...because he told them the TRUTH.

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Saevin shakes in his boots. Only to remember that he's a dark elf and probably fine.

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Sheo raised an eyebrow at the letter, but offered a small smile. “Sounds like this’ll be quite fun, I wish snoots the luck of the ancestors.”

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