DNN #28

[gandalfo 1413]

Edition #28

 

Dwarven Witches Spotted Patrolling Urguan

Be careful readers of the DNN! For a group of dwarven witches has been spotted patrolling the Urguani lands that have turned blue. You are advised to not travel alone and stay away from these lands at night. The Urguanian vassal city of Vasiyeva has been completely desecrated. The surrounding lands have been attacked by some sort of dark force, and the city itself is abandoned. No official report has been given by the Grand King or his advisors, and many are unsure of why and what has happened. Officials tell the DNN that initial reports say that the Dwarven witches may be behind this.

 

Jorvin Starbreaker Called Before International War Crimes Tribunal

Jorvin Starbreaker’s attorneys, Irongrinder, Irongrinder, Irongrinder, Irongrinder, Irongrinder & Sons Law Firm have told the DNN that a supposed War Crimes Tribunal led by none other then High Prophet Norli Strarbreaker have summoned Jorvin and his defense team before the tribunal. Jorvin Strarbreaker and his legal team have told the DNN that they believe this is a targeted hit by his archenemy Norli and does not believe that slaughtering seventy-eight orc babies is a war crime. Jorvin’s legal team has stated that Urguan has no actual laws against war crimes and that the clergy does not have the legal authority to prosecute war crimes either.

 

Idiot Starbreaker Falls Down Hole

Idiot Norli Starbreaker fell down a hole. His doctors have told the DNN he may have become brain damaged from this incident.

[SimplySeo 5183]

"Ah'm nae War Criminal. T'were nae crime tae follow orders...My own orders tae be fair, but orders na'aertheless." says known war criminal Jorvin Starbreaker.

[King_Kunuk 888]

"You mean to tell me a dwarf can suffer more brain damage then what they are already born with?!" An elf says with great surprise. "Shocking"

[sneakybandit 1503]

Darek Irongrinder can be seen digging up stolen documents from the Jorvin regime to trade in exchange for his own immunity 

[Tharggus 50]

Tharggus 'Eagle Eye' Irongrinder sits by a fireplace sipping Irongrinder branded hot coco looking over the issue of DNN wondering when the next copy will return to grace the city.

[D3F4LT 607]

Thumbrindal doesn't know what warcrimes are as they are not existant in this fantasy realm. he believes that a convention needs to be held to invent 'warcrimes' before making claims on how Jorvin accidentally killed the orc babies.