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Rent A Friend


Astrenox
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Are you a lonely and desperate individual seeking human attention? Well you are in luck with the all new LOTC service, “Rent A Friend.” Now what exactly is “Rent A Friend?” Well it is just as it sounds, it is for lonely fucks lovely people such as yourself who need a friend to talk to. Want to vent about your Mineman spouse cheating on you? Rent a friend! Just got robbed and lost all of your hard earned loot? Rent a friend! Don’t want to take our word for it? Then here are some reviews from past customers.

 

“I paid for “Rent A Friend” and let me tell you I have never had a more phenomenal conversation with another human being.” -Anonymous

 

“One of their “friends” said that we should ERP or something. I didn’t know what they were talking about, but I agreed and it was the best decision I have ever made!” -A Recent Customer 

 

“I’ve been using this service for a while and all the “friends” who work here are such good listeners. I told them about how my husband (a human) cheated on me (a dwelf), and they never interrupted me. They didn’t even say anything to me. Not even once. If only my husband was as good a listener as them. -A Happy Customer

 

“At first I reluctantly paid for this service, but after my first appointment with one of their “friends” I was delightfully pleased. At first I was nervous and afraid no one would show up, but then a really handsome man approached me. He took me by the hand and we went to a nice bakery where we talked about life until he had to leave. He was a real cutie. I was sad when he left, but he said he would pay me back for the meal whenever we saw each other again. It’s been a month and I can’t wait to meet my knight in shining armor, again!” -A Lovely Lady

 

So stop being a ***** and buy yourself a “friend” NOW! 

 

 

Spoiler

Pricings:

 

Just Chatting: 3 mina every five minutes. 

Just Chatting BUT we make you feel special: mina every five minutes and an additional 1 mina per compliment.

Ranting or gossiping: mina every five minutes (Comes with a FREE hug at the end of session)

Adventuring with YOU: 6 mina every ten minutes (Involves adventuring out of the specified city, nation, or settlement)\

 

Additional Pricings:

 

Side hug: mina per hug

Hug: mina per hug

Peck on the cheek: 10 mina per kiss

Committing a criminal offense: 100 mina per offense 

Helping you out of the Gulag: 50 mina to get your ass out of prison

 

 

 

 

(P.S. No actual ERP involved)

Edited by Astrenox
Added pricings
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I want a peck on the cheek please. 😘 (not erp)

Edited by Sulake
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Damn I guess I gotta get friend now..

Can i get a hug?

Edited by Jotty
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6 minutes ago, Sulake said:

I want a peck on the cheek please. <img src="> (not erp)

That'll be 10 mina

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Can I get a hug?

 

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Uh guys I don't uh-... I dunno if this is a good idea- I mean... think of what the admins might do if they found out someone is /willing/ to do erp with them?
 

Spoiler

For Legal reasons that was a joke please dont kill me thank you

 

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1 minute ago, mika1278 said:

Can I get a hug?

 

Of course!

 

Just pay me 4 mina. 

 

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2 minutes ago, Aliennas said:

<img src=">

 

Oh hey! It's my roleplay wife. Pricings will cost you double, sorry for the inconvenience. 

1 minute ago, Lhindir_ said:

bruh

 

 

Agreed.

Edited by Astrenox
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14 minutes ago, Astrenox said:

 

Oh hey! It's my roleplay wife. Pricings will cost you double, sorry for the inconvenience. 

 

Agreed.

I'm good 👍

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2 hours ago, Peralien said:

If any criminal offense then help me commit grand treason

Consider it done

Edited by Astrenox
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