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A Warning to The Druidic Order


Ryloth
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[!] A blazing leaflet scribed in red-hot texts emerges upon the bridge to the Mother Grove, protected by a deathly aura.

Spoiler

 

h7W4Zapyrlm-haVUKh-7zXBSUVSRRQuByIrHOhcrp1B4vteVdHocaKbZ62HENba0JdmZzXV6RT5LwfYCbmUdRlVeNAl2kEeo2sjF25zQovYm43V5f_SnyPHPrXXcL6djdjGNy-I7

MU MINDOK - REYTH JUL

NgmSLJMG5kpWTiKB8W7Hy7bZpuXIWlgR08LrvsYnB873UGvefOly0H7a7uFiCsp_rJXVhGXF8kRXm0vpUEi4yEmJv5TEKjqi194Bs__8AlN2zp4SGqTYfzuEuVnUpjzNNx1WMSyM

 

For too long have your kind ruined what belongs to us and our kith, brethren who we call friend, who you call foe. For too long have your kind destroyed our idols, our totems, altars, and monuments. For too long have you served beneath divine aspect, otherworldly things most foul -- interlopers to our world. It is today that we offer you a chance -- one, and only.

 

Stop what will bring your end. Your end comes swift at the hands of those druii most foul, most unruly, most believing in their disdainful acts. We will bring to you the fires of New Beginnings, for we will cinder your grand trees to ash and ember, to regrow without the squalor of man and beast in their tandem dance. Your kind will suffer at our hand should another of our belongings be found destroyed at the hands of druii, or those paid off by them. We know of your destructive acts across the world -- destruction of arcane sources of power, repetitive, annoying. 

 

Your incompetence is great, as for every monument of ours that is destroyed, we will burn two more of your divine trees. Heed our call or suffer in blazing dragons flame, unless you seek the meek end of baleful ash and brimstone same as Amaethea.

 

KREH US UN SULEYK

REYTH  REYLIIK  MU

MINDOK

 

~ Alemdrom sin Uzoth

Chosen of Azdromoth

 

Spoiler

abff85a416d5cb58fcc01fd1b3397654.png

 

credit to milenkhov for helping me draco bomb (he wanted me to mention him)

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In the far reaches of some unhallowed wasteland, an armoured creature issues a decree to have some Draconic Pillar brought low that had come to trespass within their domain. They were completely unaware that for every pillar they destroyed, the Druii would suffer tenfold.. and such a fact would bring a tear to their eye if they knew.

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Erwin Bishop raises an eyebrow to the missive, scratching his head as he sighed. "Do you think theyll actually leave the gates to go view the message?" He asks to his friend @Qaz_The_Great.

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A wizard out in the south copes, malds, and, seethes at the continued destruction of his Mana Obelisk.

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please_just_stop....jpg

 

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 A Battle chef looks towards the missive as he walks to the Druidic Grove with a curious eye. Reading it, the man let out an oddly loud laugh, and continued. "Dragons whining about nature lovers? I swear I've seen everything now. What next, Bucketball is going to be cancelled?" 

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[!] A wooden pole has been set up nearby the missive, and on the pole, a letter has been attached by way of a single nail!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good day, Lizardfolk!

I am writing this response to your very, very scary edict, not out of ideological concerns (though I do believe you are speaking utter dribble on the matter), but rather out of a desire to rectify the missive itself! I believe you could get your message across much clearer if you took on some of my suggestions! Hope you find them useful!

 

First, let’s start with a bit of art critique, shall we? While I can’t claim to come from a background of the visually artistic (I’ve always been dreadful with drawing, you see), I think some changes could be made to your emblem! Though I think the idea of the eye in the middle has some promise, it reminds me of a piece of pineapple held between two buns. Is this an Azdromoth sandwich, perhaps?

 

In terms of the drawing of the  ‘A’ at the top, it reminds me of an ‘Aheral scholar’s hand; all flowery and ultimately weightless. Maybe you could stylise it with some spikes coming out of the ‘A’, and surround it with some flames? Could get the point of Azdromoth across a bit better!
 

First paragraph, first sentence, I believe you can remove, ‘brethren who we call friend, who you call foe.’ Following that statement about ‘kith’, it just seems a little redundant in my opinion. You’ve already established the relationship in the initial part of the sentence, so there’s really no need to go on and on about it! Syntax is key!
 

The repetition of ‘for too long’ in the initial paragraph holds very little weight here. It is reminiscent of a child attempting to add a certain flare and ‘drama’ to their first story. Perhaps you could just use it once to establish your argument, and then let your message speak organically for itself from there?
 

Second paragraph. ‘Stop what will bring your end. Your end…’ Once again, the repetition! No need to say ‘end’ once again, especially after it just ended your sentence. ‘Demise’, maybe? ‘Desolation?’ I’m sure Azdromoth can invest in a thesaurus!
 

‘We will bring to you the fires of New Beginnings, for we will cinder your grand trees to ash and ember, to regrow without the squalor of man and beast in their tandem dance.’ - Consider breaking this sentence up! It may flow better if it was broken up into multiple sentences, rather than a single one.

 

‘We know of your destructive acts across the world -- destruction of arcane sources of power, repetitive, annoying.’ - Once again, REPETITION!!!! You used ‘destruction’ and ‘destructive’ too close to one another! Snore!

 

Third paragraph - ‘Heed our call or suffer in blazing dragons flame, unless you seek the meek end of baleful ash and brimstone same as Amaethea.’ - By the Aspects, this sentence made me wish that I forgot how to read. ‘Blazing dragons flame’. Really? ‘Blazing?’ How dull. ‘Meek end of baleful ash and brimstone?’ I take back what I said about the thesaurus before. Now it just seems you’re vomiting adjectives onto the page. Yawn!

 

Overall, a decent piece, but I believe some improvements could really make it shine and intimidate! Please take the time to rectify your mistakes before posting another missive. I hope this was useful to you!

Much love, 

Shark Druid Za’Kabar

Edited by Jygg
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A certain forerunner of East-Meets-West shook his head feverishly as he tore the page to shreds and lit the remnants aflame in the fire.  “It seems there are some vermin afoot. . . Tread lightly, ‘Would-Be’ Heralds of The Arch-Wyrm.”  The voice suddenly abated itself alongside any sign of his being there.  Soon, the tide would roll in high and with it, it would carry the ashes back into the Sea. 

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"Druidism!" said a Druid.

 

 

"Druidism..." Said an Azdrazi.

 

 

"LoTC..." Said a Skygod.

 

sheesh.gif

Edited by _Sug
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