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A Letter to the Vullier House About Beds


WhereTheBeans
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A Letter Regarding Your Beds

 

To the Vullier household, from a friendly dwarf. Now, while I am no expert on sleep, I do know a few things on a good nights rest. Not too long ago during the War, before your weak Emperor was embarrasingly coup'd, I raided your house, with ease I must say, and I came upon many of your rooms with beds. Now, one of the rooms stood out in particular, which I assume was your sons rooms. An issue I had with their beds, was how stiff they were, me and my partner layed in them, and soon found how uncomfortable they were, and as a warrior, one of many Wig-Wearer slayers, need to rest my back after slaying many an Orenian fool. So, I write you this letter, as a warning. A good nights rest, can lead to many positive things, and a stiff bed, one that of your sons, will only lead to their death on the battlefield. Another benefit of a soft bed is one more grim, but not uncommon for Orenians, it gives a soothing sense, after a long battle lost, watching many friends fall in battle to dwarven battlaxes can be tiring, and a soft bed sooths the blow. So next time I wish to visit, as I will, I hope to see you have a soft bed, and one that does not stain, for when blood will be spilt, I wish not to ruin your mattress.

 

 

Sincerely, 

A Friendly Dwarf

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag1o3koTLWM

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Duncan nods slowly reading the letter "I CANT LET MY CHILDREN DIE IN BATTLE!" He marches off to the bed store to buy new mattresses for his family

 

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