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An Open Letter To Oren


Sander
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Kosher Daesmon gags on his whiskey as he reads the missive. As he slams the bottle onto the table, he ponders out loud.

“What’s with Oren and pissing everyone off? Are we not disciplining them enough?”

As he ponders, he counts the Mina him and his brother took off an Orenian with a shiny gem.

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"Oren tends to see t'emselves as an empire yet is a mere shadow of w'at an empire used to be: have the majorite' of umres in under your command, nae one forth." Thumbrindal Grandaxe proclaimed pining the message on the notice board in Urguan. "Haense 'as more common sense t'en t'e mad Emperor w'o declared war after a succesfull coup, I pity the lost sheep that follow the sick sheperd!"

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"Is it not our land that you enter? Is it not our laws that your ambassador should follow? Makes sense." The young Joseph Clement of House Sarkozic remarked, reading the part that "No Orenian may revoke it"

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Andrik Baruch would shout about the Office of the Palatine, blabbering about some nonsense as he smoked like a chimney, disrupting his nephew as he attempted to carry out his duties. “Glad yer government is finally standing’ up for itself Eirik, exactly wha’ those yella bellied wig folk need to hear! Don’t back down to ‘em! Oh and another thing-“ the ranting of the Boyar Baruch would continue into the late hours of the night as he ‘advised’ his nephew on foreign and diplomatic strategy. @Gusano

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Levian'Tol Grandaxe receives word of this missive on the front lines of the war between Urguan and Oren. "Posturing, posturing, posturing... True 'Ighlanders act."

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Ivan var Ruthern coughs, sending a letter to the Aulic Envoy to discuss a date and place to meet. He  then finishes glancing over the missive, finding humour in the claim that Haense would appoint its own ambassadors, but then in same stroke of words saying that Orenians could not banish folk from their own lands. Oh well, he thought, delivering a letter to the man regardless.

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“Let this be the first nail in the coffin of an immoral, inbred and dysfunctional Empire, Sigismund.” Commented Kaustantin Baruch on a short vacation from cabbage farming to the King in his office, his usual grim temperance replaced with a smirk.

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5 minutes ago, Proddy said:

"Vyr very bad, Mister Emperor!" shouts fat little Beathas Baruch. As she finishes off a bucket of KFC (Kaedreni Fried Chicken), an Orenian delicacy imported from Redenford, she wipest the grease from her lips and readies herself for her daily wiping of crow excrement across her face. All in the name of Godan.

Bogdana the Random Peasant had second hand embarrassment for Beathas.

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1 minute ago, Marquesa_ said:

Bogdana the Random Peasant had second hand embarrassment for Beathas.

 

Beathas decides to have Bogdana swiftly placed by government authorities into a mental asylum, afraid she might go on one of her schizophrenic tirades again.

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Just now, Proddy said:

 

Beathas decides to have Bogdana swiftly placed by government authorities into a mental asylum, afraid she might go on one of her schizophrenic tirades again.

Bogdana wondered why Beathas had a crippling drug addiction she could not shake.

 

The peasant then remembered a time when Beathas sent strange portraits of herself to her.

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The revivified Judith Helvets, Duchess-Dowager of Crestfall composes a poem dedicated to her northern cousins.

    'ate oren
    'ate the emperor
    'ate wigs
    luv beating me mrs
    luv crow poo
    luv 'aense
    luv barbanov
    simpe as.

 

 

Edited by Tiresiam
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6 minutes ago, Marquesa_ said:

Bogdana wondered why Beathas had a crippling drug addiction she could not shake.

 

The peasant then remembered a time when Beathas sent strange portraits of herself to her.

 

Beathas wonders if Bogdana will ever stop being weirdly obsessed with her and stalking her everywhere she goes. Yawning, the Baruch scion simply conclucdes that she must live within Bogdana's head... entirely rent free.

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A certain Savoyard Basrid would pinch the bridge of her nose as she read the news that made her way to her office within the morning. She'd let out a sharp sigh as she reached for a wine glass. "We've a long day ahead of us." She'd comment to no one but herself as she prepared for whatever mess was to come this day! Seems to be one thing after the next for humanity.

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Spoiler

Empress Anastasya is typing…


“Seems a few things need to be clarified,” sighed Empress Anastasya as she began to draft a letter to the Aulic Envoy of Hanseti-Ruska from her office. 

 

Several hours later...

 

Anastasya frowns as her letter about easing tensions in the name of Canonism was never answered by the Haeseni. 

 

Spoiler

King Sigismund has left Empress Anastasya on delivered. 

 

Edited by Eryane
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