Memories

[TheCapybara 1803]

 

Spoiler

 

 

Trigger Warning : Depression

 

No Metagaming

 

 

 

 

Mourned and Remembered

 

 

Alone. Alone stood the flaxen-haired debutante. Strumming the silver strings of her illuminating golden harp under the looming moonlight. The multiple celestial bodies up above looked down at the pity-filled Halcourt. Her milky gaze kept and lured towards the stars and moon up above. Still playing her aureate harp, a sad and mournful tune coming from the pearly strings plucked by the feminine hands of the Halcourt. 

 

“So much lost. My sanity fades away like ghosts.”

 

She’d say to herself with a croaky voice, a tear falling down from her eye while she then began to dance in front of the fountain within the Palace gardens. None to view her madness but the heavenly night looming above with shadows and light. Heloise, being earthbound to the gravel which her gown’s train flowed across while dancing, doing an elegant waltz. Beginning to hum to herself, her tone depressing as the music coming from the strings of her harp.

 

“To be scorned by so many now. My friends, my allies are none.”

 

 

“Oh, father, mother, brother. I am sorry to disappoint you so much. I wish for the fields of Aeldin, where the poppies grew fresh upon the darken soils, the locks of my flaxen hair spread across the grass while the screams and cheers of children are heard. To feel the breath of fresh air from the heavens once more. Away from my pain and torment.” 

 

The Halcourt expressed her sorrow within the empty gardens, still played, even when playing and plucking the individual strings of her antique and valued harp. Performing alone. A lone rose among poppies. Her eyes, beginning to tear up more and more. Suddenly stopping her pitiful performance, throwing her instrument down. Falling down to her knees.

 

“Aunt Amelia, Uncle Victor. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I failed you both. You two were always there but I can do nothing to pay back. John, my friend. Gone. Nikolai, my oldest ally. Gone. Carolina, my mentor. Taken away. What else must I do to pay the sin of existence and human behaviors. I am too brash, too stupid for Odessa and her rules. The court, the life of a noble is one which is chained by pearls and roses. Only to suffer. Fit into the box. Wear the porcelain mask. Keep on acting for my villains on this cruel stage.”

 

Tears began to suddenly come out from the Halcourt’s milky eyes. The tears did not stop, pouring and pouring while she’d muffle under her arms which she laid her head upon, her head and smooth skinned arms resting upon the dry and cold stone of the fountains. Alone. No one there. None to hear her suffering. The cracks of her perfect porcelain mind became clear. Her gown becoming dust-covered as she laid there, crying her eyes to crimson red. Her face covered with a completely peachy and velvet complexion. Her thoughts, beginning to speak words which twirled and danced around her cracking mental state.

 

“Why does this always happen?”

 

“This is all my fault!”

 

“People have always been like this!”

 

“Wench! Savage! Useless!”

 

The Halcourt suddenly stopped at the sounds of the pompous courtiers. Standing up. Quickly wiping away the tears and placing on makeup to hide the cracks of her doubts, her disappointments. Her sorrow. The red complexion was sourced from her hours of crying. Placing back on her mask of lies, entering the stage once more. One thing lingered in her mind while exiting the empty gardens of Aster Court. One word stood out amongst the shadows of self-loathing and depression which clouded her mind.

 

Loved