[✗] [[CA]Blood Magic Creation] |The Gorloth and The Staff| @hotbox#1attemptatloretake1

[Zacho 1737]

Nothing I say here is trying to be rude or an attack, just feedback.

 

A lot of this lore comes off as reskinned golems with a niche ability to make fire which doesn't exactly follow the theme of the lore (which already seems to be a little bit all over the place). Additionally, this seems like it would add ultimately to the bloat that is inanimate CA's that already are overpopulated (animii, sorvians, golems, atronachs, etc) and doesn't really do anything different from the rest, nor provide something cannot already be obtained. I also noticed you mention Setherien a lot throughout this lore, but you relate a lot of it to blood magic and genus, making it like some weird fusion of previous Dreadknights (blood magic golems) and just named after Setherien. Finally its not thematically like the harbingers or Setherien, but more in line with Malghourn's old stuff with blood magic, even if it is a resub of something that Setherien had. Overall, I think focusing on some inanimate CA right now doesn't do a lot since there are already way too many for each individual group of people. You might be able to obtain the same idea with Golems and some basic voidal enchantments.

 

also reading further along it there are a lot of really sneaky lines written. for example, you can make them out of Dracanium and also the staff (meant to be the weakness of them) can be made out of any wood, like ironwood or something else way stronger. oh, also, you can imbue herald magic into them w/ a MArt which is yet another power upgrade, defeating a lot of the weaknesses of golems, that being that they're all brute with limited capacity for magic. 

[Warcrimes 29]

VERY COOL CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ONE

[hotbox_monk 976]

16 hours ago, Zacho said:

Nothing I say here is trying to be rude or an attack, just feedback.

 

A lot of this lore comes off as reskinned golems with a niche ability to make fire which doesn't exactly follow the theme of the lore (which already seems to be a little bit all over the place). Additionally, this seems like it would add ultimately to the bloat that is inanimate CA's that already are overpopulated (animii, sorvians, golems, atronachs, etc) and doesn't really do anything different from the rest, nor provide something cannot already be obtained. I also noticed you mention Setherien a lot throughout this lore, but you relate a lot of it to blood magic and genus, making it like some weird fusion of previous Dreadknights (blood magic golems) and just named after Setherien. Finally its not thematically like the harbingers or Setherien, but more in line with Malghourn's old stuff with blood magic, even if it is a resub of something that Setherien had. Overall, I think focusing on some inanimate CA right now doesn't do a lot since there are already way too many for each individual group of people. You might be able to obtain the same idea with Golems and some basic voidal enchantments.

 

also reading further along it there are a lot of really sneaky lines written. for example, you can make them out of Dracanium and also the staff (meant to be the weakness of them) can be made out of any wood, like ironwood or something else way stronger. oh, also, you can imbue herald magic into them w/ a MArt which is yet another power upgrade, defeating a lot of the weaknesses of golems, that being that they're all brute with limited capacity for magic. 

Was just my own take based off of a concept first proposed and authored by Benboboy.  Setherien had a way for corruption rather uniquely actually including converting thanhic crystals into blood crystals because he himself was a master blood mage if i remember correctly.  But yeah I just wanted to try my hand at lore and I'm just thankful to have recieved the feedback I have. :)

[Kalehart 1062]

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