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Love and Happiness [PK]


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Love and Happiness

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 [!] The late count, working himself until he can not anymore 

 


He loved many people. He loved his father, he loved his mother, he loved his siblings, he had a special place in his heart for children, almost adopting each one he saw.

His love burned bright. He used the fire to show his family the way out of that dark, dark cave.

 

He loved them so much that it hurt, he loved them so much that he could lose sight of everything because the fire burns so bright. He believed they could all be happy together, all they needed was to love each other. What other satisfaction can this world provide but the love of a family? A smile of a little sibling, a laugh of your very own child. His heart pounded everyday only for them, only for those little satisfactions, nothing else.

 

He just wanted to be happy. Or rather - he wanted his family to be happy. If he could ensure they are happy, then nothing else matters. Only they matter. Only them. He would throw his life away any day without shutting an eye for one smirk, one good night sleep for them, one more hobby they could enjoy.

 

In the end, as the fire slowly burnt out, he felt nothing but sorrow and regret. Was it worth it? Are they happy? Did I fail them? Did I fail her? He would never know. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know. Not now.. Not on his deathbed.. But only…. Only one question. Only that he had to know. 

 

“Tell me… Are you… Happy?”

 

Johann asked his family with his last breaths, tears flowing all over his face. He knew the answer. He knew they would lie. He wished he could have done more… Could he have done more? Did he not sacrifice enough? Was he slacking too much? Could he really ever ensure their happiness?

 

As he closed his eyes, he felt relieved. Finally, He could get the eternal rest he longed for for so long. He finally did not have to care about anything anymore. He did not owe anything to no one. No one could make horrible rumors about him… Or at least he wouldn’t know if they did, so it doesn’t matter. Finally, this miserable life is coming to an end. Finally, he is free.

 

“I hope I did well, GODAN. Please, let me live peacefully in the heavens or perish into nothingness, maybe then, I can finally take my rest.”

 

He wished to god as his soul was slowly leaving his body, and this miserable being has come to an end.


 

 


 

[!] Among the late count’s belongings his family can find many drafts of legal documents, study papers but also.. A letter. One that seems to be not new, but rather has been written years ago.

 

“To my dear family. 

If you read this, it means my illness won in the struggle, and I am now on my way to GODAN. I am deeply sorry I couldn’t do more for you, I hope you will enjoy the life I worked to provide for you so far and thanks to my work, you can lead a calmer life than mine.

My children, I love you deeply more than anything. I failed you many times… I wasn’t always the father I wanted to be but know all I did was because of my love for you and to protect you. Everything was for you.

My nieces and nephews, my love for you shines as bright. Don’t ever forget you were also my family and I you will always be, love yourself as much as I love you, even if I was not always the uncle I wanted to be. I still cherish you and you will forever be dear to me. 

Pyotr and Sibylla, thank you for being there for me and the family. You are people I love and trust and I can leave with a safer mind knowing you are a part of this family.

My brothers and sisters… my grandkids… I am sorry I will not be able to spend more time with you. You know I cherish every second I got to be with you and I am glad I had you.

Please tell my many wards I am proud of them, tell them I entrust the office I worked so hard on to them and I anticipate great things to come and hope they will take my office to new heights. And to Iulius, I am sorry I wasn’t able to teach him more. He was a good friend. I hope our families will keep our close ties for many more years, even after I am gone.

Thank you, to everyone who trusted and was by this miserable being’s side through my life. I hope I did enough for you. I love you, I really do.

Goodbye.”


 

Spoiler

WHEW. That was one hell of a run. Johann was such a big part of my life for so long now that I find it hard to imagine not being Johann anymore… I am really proud though and glad I got this opportunity, I learned a lot from this.

Thanks to all my friends who helped me get to where I did, I could have never done it without you, and I am always here to help out with whatever you need oocly even if the big mentor guy is gone. I will miss being a Ludo and playing Johann, but it’s time to rest.

 

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Pyotr Ludovar departs from Otistadt, unable to watch his dear cousin die.. He mounts himself upon his steed, riding toward the Rimeveld, tears swollen on his eyes. Barely able to see what’s in front of him.. His horse then comes to a halt, upon a place he had been years ago.. A place where things took place that affected the man.. He gaze’s toward Otistadt from the hill. Tears streaming down his face, The Man hysterically sobbing.. He then screams toward the keep, “NIE! VY CAN N- NIET, NIET LEAVE US!” He screams in between hiccups, gasping for air.. Truly knowing no one could hear his cries.. The Man sat upon the hill for hours, staring at the Keep from afar, cry after cry.. His sobbing not ending.. Until, he slouches forward, The Sobbing having exhausted the already exhausted Ludovar. He falls fast asleep upon his steed. All of his worries fading, temporarily as he slept..
 

-

Pyotr, later that evening, would receive a bird from his Younger Cousin, Johanna, confirming the news.. Causing the man further sorrow, having the news confirmed

 

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As the deceased Josef Ludovar admired his own reflection on a mirror from the seven skies, he would frown slightly as he noticed a familiar figure behind him appear on it. He turned around slowly, carefully, not wanting the figure to be there for when he completed the motion. But there he was, Johann, his brother who he had enjoyed being with so dearly, who he trusted, who he loved. He would then lower his head slightly with a few small nods "Ea missed vy, borsa" he stepped closer in order to give him a hug "but that does niet mean ea wanted vy to come here this early, vy should have have had a longer and happier life.he would quietly add

Edited by Lokvank
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Amicia de Joannes, the count's eldest daughter, left Otistadt that same night. She could not bear to stay in the same house her father had died in, haunted by the memories of his laughter, voice and words. Things she would never hear again.

Before she left, Amicia went to her bedroom to draft a note for darling twin sister, the new Countess. She entered her sisters bedroom and left the note at the side of her bed for Adele to read. She then went downstairs, grabbed her cloak and went outside to grab her beloved horse Artax, the horse gifted to her by her father after she had pleaded for one for many years.

Earlier this week the twin sisters celebrated some big news. Now, the Princess' heart was heavy. The joy sucked out of her as an empty pit was left in her stomach. She thought of her children, Henrietta, Joseph and Louis, that would now grow up without a grandfather. She thought of the child she was carrying. This child would never know the joy of having a grandfather. Neither would any of her future children, nieces or nephews. 

 

And so Amicia rode off into the darkness of the night. A night had never felt so cold and dark before. 
 

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Erika Barclay walked to the top of the Reinmar keep as she heard the news. Once she reached the balcony she glanced up towards the skies to watch the many stars during the night. 

 

"Ich will be there for her, Lord Johan. Ich promise du that." She spoke, closing her eyes to stand there for a while in the silence.

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Johanna Ludovar would be in her room packing a bag and writing a few letters “eam szam guys… ea can niet stay here at the moment” with overcoming grief johanna got on her horse and rode out of karosgrad. Sobbing on the way.

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Adele Ludovar's sobs now fall on deaf ears as she places her head on her Father's unmoving chest for comfort. He had lain in his bed, and passed peacefully surrounded by family, and yet it felt as though the pain which he endured every day had only passed onto her as her chest felt hollow and painful as though sapping away her strength. She should feel joyful; elated about the news she had received from Theodosya earlier, and yet she could not. Although her belly will soon swell with new life, her father's body lies lifeless.

 

She had squeezed his hand so slightly, afraid that if she pushed to hard that he could collapse right there as the pair sat outside the noble apartments together, and a smile tugs at Adele's features as she brims with excitement to tell him! "Nie," She speaks, "But she asked me a couple of questions, and we think that yam pregnant.She peers at him hopefully for his reaction, but the aged Count could only smile weakly. "Oh!" Came his hoarse voice, "That is great... Mea dear... Children are the greatest gift one can get..." His voice grew weaker and weaker as her continued to speak, and when Adele thought back on his reaction all that time ago to learning of Amicia's first pregnancy, it wilted her spirit somewhat even though she understood the reason why he couldn't be as excited.

 

She called the servants to remove his body and prepare it for burial, but she didn't do that as herself. She was no longer Adele Emma, and she stared; dissociated, at Johann's body - the Count's body - she didn't think she ever could be. 

 

Many years ago, when the Twins were still young, not soon after Johann had permitted Adele to leave the keep and roam the streets of Karosgrad had her grandfather, Robert, passed away. Amicia was different before Robert was gone. She had a love of life, an infectious laugh, and she would always get into trouble. But not anymore... She hardened, seemingly trying to hide all of her imperfections so that she could stand strong and hold her siblings together. 

 

And Adele was no different now as she felt her past slip away. None of her children would ever know their grandfather, and how wonderful he was; the most amazing parent in the world. And yes, there were times where she despised him, but she had always known deep down that he was trying to protect her from the pain of life. And now he could no longer protect her. She was supposed to protect everyone else. It was her job now.

 

Johann had always called them; Adele and Amicia, his treasures. His dearest darlings, the things closest to his now-cold dead heart, and the things that motivated him through everything: His Treasures. But what was treasure worth if you lost it?

Or rather, if it lost you?

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Iulius Vernhart felt his body sink. His knee hit the hardwood floor with a harsh thud. He gripped his chest, the paper cracking beneath the ever tightening grasp of his hand. The tears that had welled up from reading the first line had spilled over, down the aging Firr’s cheek.

 

Johann is dead.

 

The words haunted his thoughts as he held this, keeled over, his wife to busy caring for their newest baby, Johanna, to know the agony that he had been feeling in this moment. He shut his eyes, hoping that the seal will strip the new rapid flow of tears.

 

He was one the last one, those people he had met and kept connected with that first year. Milo had been murdered- Sigismund was gone- Now Johann, the one who had stuck by him through much, the one who he always sought guidance and advice from first, had been taken by his age and sickness.

 

Iulius fell beneath the ever growing weight, yet, as he thought, he felt his body grow stronger, resolute. He looked at the mulitude of papers on his desk- studies that he had worked on and never finished. He raised up to a standing position as moved over to the desk. He had studies to finish, work to do- and a position needed to be filled, High Justicar.

 

He took a deep breath, grabbed his quill and moved out. Out of the room. Out of the house. And left towards Otistadt.

 

 

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Johann gently took off one of the three petals from the rose in his office. Now only two remained, and the Duke imagined them green and blue.

Edited by Frymark
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Adelaide von Audrick inspected the notice of Johann's death with some trepidation, the conflict of her emotions apparent on the woman's face. Was she finally free? Would Adele and Amicia be alright? What would Ludwig say? And most of all, what next?

 

She had answers to none of these questions, and she crumpled the missive before she could reflect on them further. Anya Ludovar was, after all, dead. The woman she had become had no reason to worry over such a death.

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