Hearsay of Hanseti-Ruska - XIV

[HearsayofHansetiRuska 521]

“A REVISITATION - ROZIK I VE KORTZ”

And so it continues.

 

 

The Hearsay of Hanseti-Ruska

Edition XIV

Tov ag Yermey, 431 ES

 

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For ten long years the people of Karosgrad have gone without my writings. Rejoice, dear reader, for you shall wait no longer! Truthfully, until now, the goings-on of the Kingdom and her nobility have been dreadfully dry. Have you truly no desire for entertainment, Lords and Ladies? Do pick it up, I find it hard to believe any man or woman could be born so bland. 

 

I must offer my thanks to Her Majesty for recognizing the value of this most esteemed publication, and taking myself and my companion into her care. I do wonder if the boors of this kingdom will find it so easy to make threats upon my person, now a prestigious member of the Queen's Council. My birdies await.

 

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OUR VIXEN RETURNS

~

As this writer looked out upon the square, full of plump children and faces much too grey during these times of summer revelry, who should one spy but a face known to all from bounty posters and salacious gossip! The rowdy Angelika vas Ruthern has returned to Karosgrad, a baggage train in tow! This writer simply cannot help but inform their readers that the former Hexer has taken up residence in the heart of the Nikirala Palace, and, to the surprise of none, just so happens to sleep below the Royal Bedchamber. I do wonder whose idea that could have been. Certainly not Her Majesty’s.

 

For of course, last I wrote of the hexer-harlot she had ensnared not one, but two men of the House of Barbanov. She notoriously stole a kiss with a young Karl III and certainly quite a bit more with the now Count-Consort of Otisdadt. Has she, in the Queen’s absence, sought to rekindle a lost love? Or perhaps the invitation was extended by His Majesty himself. In either case, I expect most interesting times shall lay ahead for our beloved royal family, as the Queen has finally returned.

 

THE BARON OF TASTE’S TASTY TROUBLES:

ALBAN’S FAMILY DINER

~

For this new segment, one which shall surely be recurring with the recent growth in the food industry in Karosgrad, it is prudent that I introduce myself: The Baron of Taste. Years and years of culinary experiences are what have brought me to this point, both of the food I have tasted, and the food that I have made myself. It is my aspiration to give a truthful and genuine review of every restaurant or food server within this Kingdom, for which I have joined forces with the Hearsay.

 

Today, we shall look at Alban’s Family Diner. While this restaurant has yet to open, the owner and head chef, Matyas Alban, has allowed myself the prime opportunity to taste some of his food ahead of time, which was delivered to me by servants so that I may retain my anonymity. We will preface this by saying that it will come to be seen whether the restaurant can live up to this review.

 

The food that Alban’s Family Diner serves varies, though the general theme of the restaurant is that the main dish consists of a sliced bun, filled with various things, though mostly commonly a beef patty, along with vegetables. We were delivered a Grand Otistadt Menu as the menu dubbed it. It were an elegantly sliced bun, along with a well-cooked beef patty wrapped in the finest bacon, surrounded by two different condiments, the top a sweet tomato-colored one, and the bottom a white thick and creamy one. Inside was also lettuce, tomatoes, diced onions, and cheese. It added to a magnificent taste when it entered one’s month, and every bite was truly savoured. That is not to neglect the sides that came with fine strips of potatoes, which were given dipping similar to the condiments inside of the burger, as well as these small breaded balls with melted cheese inside.

 

It was, in total, an excellent taste experience, with I, the Baron of Taste, rated to be a solid 8.9 on my scale.

 

MANIC OVER MULLETS

~

With fussing and crying galore, our oversized toddler of a Princess is at it once more! This author believed her to have outgrown the infantile outbursts of her youth, though it seems I was sorely mistaken. Can one blame her, though? Surely, it must be maddening to live as the firstborn of a King, yet never truly holding the title of Princess Royal. Regardless, I am told that in the past Saint’s Week she threw a tantrum, stomping her feet and frothing at the mouth … over a free haircut! The Princess shouted up a storm when Ser Grigori Vyronov, a most prestigious man of the Marian Retinue, dared to trim her son’s overgrown locks. Not only did she whine and complain, but she had the audacity to threaten the Ser with hired brigands. Why? Only the Princess knows, for no sane woman would bite the proverbial hand which feeds them. There are not many men of the Marian Retinue, Princess, each of them are invaluable to you, and your safety. Restrain yourself, for it is truly embarrassing. 

 

AN INCURSION BY THE CROWN

~

This author has caught wind of a most troubling rumour indeed. What has come of our Kingdom, where the nobility so openly partake in sinful debauchery? Approximately seven men of high standing, including two Sers and our King himself, broke into the bedchambers of Duke Mikahil of Vidaus to smoke. The room supposedly reeked of cactus green, and a scantily clad woman with bare shoulders and two great assets sat casually among the party.

 

The King and his entourage made quite the mess of the newly furnished room, leaving sweat and pools of tobacco-laden vomit throughout it. One does wonder why a ruler would abuse the hospitality of his vassals so brazenly. This author prays our King shall mature in time. 

 

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From adultery within agentry to childish squabbles, there seems to have been quite a few mishaps that have occurred before the Kingdom’s eyes. Though, even more unfortunately for those involved; before my own eyes.

 

Be wise about your next move, dearest readers. I am always lurking.

 

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Ink put onto parchment, where the hands shakily dismantle the deception in our court. As with previous editions, my address is afforded.

 

[OOC: Discord HearsayOfHaense#1132]

Edited June 26, 2022 by HearsayofHansetiRuska

[crazedpudding 2119]

Klara Elizaveta scoffs, tossing the rag into the fire. "Why Amadea legitimized this insanity is beyond me. Should Ser Grigori once again decide his prerogative is more important than mea permission and knowledge when it pertains to my children, Ea won't stand for it."

[meowcelina 222]

"My, my." chimed Dorothea from within the Palace walls, "Another round of bullying." Joked she, letting out an exhausted sigh.

Edited June 26, 2022 by meowcelina

[Mady 2989]

Looking down at the jumble of words, the young Adelajda vas Ruthern would turn on her heel, dashing through Druzstra Castle. “Mameeeej! Can vy read this to me?” The young girl would cry out in search of the duchess, excited to hear the gossip. @kaylaa

[Toffee 1067]

"See?" Saoirse Baruch, newly returned to the city from years of travel, waved the pamphlet under Eugen's nose. "They 'ave much more sordid things tae write about than the likes o' us." @__Stal27

[Xx_BloodStalk_xX 2120]

Spoiler

 

 

Far, far away from the North, a young spirit lurks about in the forests of Druii. "One, two! One, two!" He called, and any keen bystander would notice that this strange creature was the size of a mite, leading a long line of insects from the front. "March, march, march! Before t'morn, we gon' get some scorn! March, march, march! 'Cause Druii open up t'eir packs, an' find t'emselves wit'out a snack!" He sung in a commanding voice, releasing a whistle as the ants behind him started off to do their own thing. He glanced over his shoulder, soon dropping down a few crumbs of sugar from his pockets, allowing them to follow once more. He continued his march. "Red, white, on t'quilt! We gon'-" His song was interrupted by his own screams as he found a large and weathered parchment engulf him and send him across the dirt. The spirit quickly grew in size, his gloved hands reaching out to take the missive and wiping the dirt away from it with a quick breath or two. 

"What t'is be?! What t'is be?!" He asked, curiously - though there wasn't an ant to hear it now, for they had gone back to their holes and homes as he skimmed the first paragraph. "T'is be, can't be! Shouldn't be!" The spirit released it, his monkey-like tail curling like a spring and bouncing him back onto his feet. "A bit of gossip jus' for me! How did it get all t'way 'ere, from snow an' ash an' misty plains. Even t'rough mighty rains!" He chimed with his hands up into the air. "I read, I read!" As he tried to wipe away more of the mud with his hands, he found only smudged ink, so only a small section of the parchment was readable.

It was there after a few moments of his eyes moving back and forth, a waterfall of liquid started out of his bandaged maw, his glowing eyes shrinking as a list of ingredients were laid out before him. "A mortal buildin' wit' tasty meats, lined up all over t'eir pretty sheets!" He rhymed, but not long before a low growl of his stomach. "I.. want to eat." They said to themselves, and shrunk back down in a long burst of light. It landed atop the back of a lowly beetle, kicking its sides like one would a steed. "Onwards!" He shouted, and the beetle would take off in the wrong direction, making his long journey longer.

[satinkira 5797]

Oh, gossip? What fun. 

The knight shifted somewhat uncomfortably, Haelewyn accepting that he had to return to Haense at some point. I am sorry, my liege.. I am preoccupied. 

[CopOwl 1668]

Countess Adele Ludovar frowns, sighing in fatigue to herself. "Ea do hope that Matyas's drunken mistake with that woman shall not follow our family for the rest of our lives." She grumbles upon reading the words before adding. "And why would the Royals take her into the Prikaz! When she ruined mea life, is known to practice magics, and stole a kiss with His Majesty-! What possessed them?" She pauses for a moment in thought, her frown turning to a true grimace as she stuffs the note into a drawer - away from the curious prying eyes of her children. "Well. I know what possessed him, it's not difficult to guess."