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Discussing Courtship (OOC POST)


eviea
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i love timothée chalamet
 

Courtship prior to marriage is ment to be something you remember.
The structure of courtship in LOTC varies from house to house, person to person and so on. The creation and end of a courtship also varies from house to house, person to person and so on. I believe we should have a set guide on the run of courtships, and not mouth to mouth word travel of how things should be done as that can clear things up not only for new players but also players whom seem to not be aware of how courtships are done. 

From what I understood when I first got into the whole courtship situation, was that only father's had to approve. Something that turned out to not be the case. I turned a corner when I lost my courtship, as I had no idea even in the slightest that a mother figure had rights to approve and deny just as much as a father figure. You may say, 'well that's no excuse; you still lost it' and you're very much right. I held my main priority on being accepted by said person's father, as I thought that was the only thing that mattered in the long run. I've never been good at titles, addressing, knowing where to stand and what to say and alike. I truly think for someone to be taught, especially if they began playing a character at an age for a suitable courtship, how a courtship works is a huge necessity for a courtship to work. 

Surely, not everyone would seek to find an issue in the current system of courting, but for those who do, let these be words one shall remember. Never take anyone for granted, especially not if they bear your courtier's last name.
This is where I'd normally slide a **She'd scoff. 

I don't normally debate topics, nor ask for anything to be added as I'm more of the "Oh, a poll I wish for to be voted on," then await for someone else to act. The only issue I'm having about this is I can't justify to wait around, as it shouldn't be that hard to have a simple guide explaining how courtship works, with rules such as Royals not being able to marry a Commoner and alike. However it has to be rules everyone agrees upon, regardless of character(s) they play. 

Understanding how courtship works is probably the most confusing thing about LOTC as of current, and although there are many people whom seem to be naturals at this.

Below you'll see a few different people answering this question:

If you were to explain how courtship works, regardless of gender between characters, how would you describe it to a new player?

 

Spoiler

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More to be added I'm waiting for responses from people.


What I'm trying to get at with this post, as a summary and as an explanation if something seems unclear, is we need a proper guide from area to area in LOTC explaining these points:
Basic rules, addressing their parents, and other family members, depending on ranks/titles and greeting them.
The structure of how a courtship actually begins, goes on, how it's done and how it's ended - moved to engagement / marriage.
Courtship 101, covering what courtship means, what it is for, why we have it, who can court who and what the structure of courtship normally is and exceptions that can be made to circumstances.

Even then there is much more to be covered, I as a returning old but yet new player find all of this super confusing and when over 25 people all give different answers I don't know what to believe.


That's all, thank you.
 

 

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nub wae

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While having a guide on how to do things isn't a bad idea, I think that different cultures should have the ability to set different standards. Many houses have separate traditions on courtship. I think it would be beneficial if the learning of such is done IRP by the parental figure. While some families have a male head, more and more female heads are coming into power. Overall its not a bad idea, just needs a more thorough plan of action for when it comes to difference in cultures.

 

edit- also its customary to ask the head of the house whom you will be marrying into, or at least in my experience. Aka the mother or father (Depending who leads the house) of the groom if its the typical marriage, or if its matrilineal, it will be the same for the wife's family.

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A guide would be nice, but this shouldnt be staff enforced or rule enforced

But hey

Im a fish

 

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You should speak with all the people who run socials seasons as as well as past post of sorts as a lot of those had rules on courtship and how to do it. In a very broader sense. I was wondering why you out of the blue asked me the question 🤣

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1 minute ago, Based1Salmon said:

I hope you do realize that alot of this process of based off of historical courtship and perhaps there are also other reasons besides your lack of protocal that this courtship was called off, but hey

I dont judge

Im a fish

 

Again - not on about my courtship in specific I just feel like LOTC should have a clearer guide from area to area, maybe even a global one simply explaining what, how and why for new people whom aren't naturals to it.

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Can we ban lotc romance rp instead?

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9 minutes ago, eviea said:

Again - not on about my courtship in specific I just feel like LOTC should have a clearer guide from area to area, maybe even a global one simply explaining what, how and why for new people whom aren't naturals to it.

that’s stated above this would be a good idea but. A lot of families have their own cultural courtships as well As many races as well, on top of that nation courtships are all proceedingly different. I think this project in itself would be a huge undertaking with alot of research. If you get yourself a good group together it’s definitely doable but it’s not a one rule fits all type of situation. 

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courtship on lotc leads to either a tos ban or harassment bans

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Courtship has no universal standard and varies from nation to nation as well as house to house, in some cases its do whatever you like, in some you need the father's blessing, some you need the mother's blessing, in some you need the head of house's blessing and in some you need all three, heck there are even cases when NLs have to sign off on courtship, there is no universal standard nor do I believe there should be let people rp the way they would like to rp. If you are trying to marry into a house my best advice is to read up on their culture. 

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The beauty of roleplay is that everyone has their own way of doing it. There's no "understanding" courting. It varies by culture and further by person. Some communities have cultural guides made for people to follow if they so wish, some people prefer not to partake at all. It's not this black and white thing that you're making it out to be, and it doesn't need to be either. 

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we need a 'how to not be a sexual predator guide' on lotc if that's what you mean.

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On 7/13/2022 at 11:42 AM, bickando said:

twandheez nuts

please God no, **** oh God no 🤣

3 hours ago, Tigergiri said:

You should speak with all the people who run socials seasons

No...please no

3 hours ago, eviea said:

I believe we should have a set guide on the run of courtships, and not mouth to mouth word travel of how things should be done as that can clear things up not only for new players but also players whom seem to not be aware of how courtships are done. 

The guide imo is quite an ignorant look on topics Like courting. Courtship is so simple hence why it's sometimes confusing. Court ship works from house to house, true. However the essence of it, is to give a person someone to naturally RP with. Stranger rp happens and all yes, but courtship isn't "dating" , more of forced stranger rp. So that you get to know a person then possibly dating them- and towards a climax marrying them. (Or if not stabbing them in the stomach)

 

all and all, if its confusing to you, I'd understand prolly a tip or guide on how to "court" but generally the rp happens naturally. A tip, dont mistaken a courtship with dating, sometimes it isnt seen as "dating".

 

that's just my two cents tho 😋

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