Booklight12 477 Share Posted October 26, 2022 (edited) Repost being submitted soon Edited May 24, 2023 by Booklight12 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valannor 6345 Share Posted October 26, 2022 What is even the purpose of this submission 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClassyDryad 1732 Share Posted October 26, 2022 The yellow text is making my brain do a backflip. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rukio 8910 Share Posted October 26, 2022 Long ago the four nations lived in harmony, then, everything changed when the feat lore was submitted. Only the story team, master of deniability could stop it, but when the world needed them most, they didn't see that this was ATLA larp with some other stuff added to spice it up... -1. I also just hate reproductive magic. 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
creamynoteblock 2426 Share Posted October 26, 2022 I LOVE VOIDAL MAGIC!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeSmoothie 4894 Share Posted October 26, 2022 Honestly seems neat, though I think the reproductive bit is unneeded & the 10 mages required for this + a mature voidal tear is a good bit too much just to get a PK clause and a few abilities. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booklight12 477 Author Share Posted October 26, 2022 1 hour ago, Valannor said: What is even the purpose of this submission It's like a time-capsule that I don't plan on opening 17 minutes ago, TreeSmoothie said: Honestly seems neat, though I think the reproductive bit is unneeded & the 10 mages required for this + a mature voidal tear is a good bit too much just to get a PK clause and a few abilities. Noted Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
E__V__O 1984 Share Posted October 26, 2022 This is an interesting feat from my understanding of it, though provides minimal to limited capabilities to what you get from it. I also agree that reproductive spreading is a bit strange. Although I am always willing for more lore to be posted and expand our current roster to allow more flavourful role-play. I think this needs some more time in the kitchen and perhaps discussion with ST or other(s) for thoughts. If this piece was proposed to get that ST feedback I hope it is sufficient to fix the issues and repost with the changes. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
King_Kunuk 888 Share Posted October 26, 2022 Besides possibly the 10 mage cap, I am quite fond of how this feat gives off the feel of a coven/cabal of sorcerers doing voidal magic, linked together through a bond of some kind. Note that due to how the feat WAS made, I fully understand WHY the 10 cap exists, though the subject of voidal horrors I feel will probably be the only sticking point the LT will have about it if at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeteorDragon 2821 Share Posted October 26, 2022 First, thank you for incorporating Veil Watching into this, I do appreciate it. Also the idea of the magic is quite cool. I do like the concept, though there are some issues. Now, for the criticism, -10 mages is too high for the ritual and requiring a Mature Tear will be quite difficult. Overall, the way to get this magic feel like it can be severely gatekept, even for it's generally aesthetic nature -A PK clause is also rather intense for this as it provides no way to help yourself not die besides the star walking though that is still strange -I feel Mental Effects might need a few redlines, especially in the case of Oment where you can just talk to someone, you can basically tell them anything no matter where you are, could be abused in some way -Not sure about Moonspeach but Walking Echo could definitely use some redlines, it could be abused as well -Spirit Meeting confuses me, doesn't explain what the horrors are or what they can do or anything, just says you can make a CA but that's it -The last ability to become someone new is interesting, until you realize that you have a whole 16 weeks of potential death that people will likely never get to because if they die once, they PK -[removed, I read the time wrong] -Also going off of that, why is 18 the age in all of these? The minimum age for learning is 16, the ages should be changed to 16 as it makes no real sense why they would have to wait an extra 2 weeks to get their magic on top of the 16 weeks they will be forced to deal with anyways 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexmagus 588 Share Posted October 26, 2022 i think this should be accepted as is just to spite all the people who dont like it Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronin_champloo 5951 Share Posted October 26, 2022 formatting's kinda nice compared to other submissions tbh 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulReapingWolf 2258 Share Posted October 26, 2022 I see dragon age art, I upvote. +1 I honestly like some of the things this voidal feat offers, feel like it could bring some very cool RP opportunities, would love to hear a bit more about the origin stuff & Talar’tayna. Maybe a suggestion is to do something like this for the spells.[T#] [Active] [Combat] - Reweiler’narn - “Walking Echo” Adding the Tier it belongs to might make things a bit clearer for people reading or learning the lore once it's accepted. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booklight12 477 Author Share Posted October 27, 2022 (edited) On 10/25/2022 at 10:14 PM, E__V__O said: Snip 23 hours ago, King_Kunuk said: Snip 23 hours ago, MeteorDragon said: Snip 9 hours ago, SoulReapingWolf said: Snip - Total mages reduced from 10->7 - The procreation bit was replaced with The Dreamers Welcome - Redline added to Oment requiring players to MCly be on the server and performing The Ciw in order to use Oment. -Will likely need to make a Creature lore post on horrors if this were accepted. - Adding a redline that reincarnated Av'talar under the age of 16 are not subject to the PK clause. While it isn't the most lore-friendly answer to this problem, I think it's a fair compromise to prevent people from perma-killing children. - The age reincarnated Av'talar regain their memories/abilities has been changed from 18->16 -Omitted adding redlines to Walking Echo for the time being, but will add redlines as more issues pop up in the coming days. - And added the [T#] to each spell Edited October 27, 2022 by Booklight12 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booklight12 477 Author Share Posted November 20, 2022 (edited) Update - Reworked the immortality system for sake of simplicity by removing reincarnation in favor of a lich phylactory type of spell. - Added the Soul Strike, Spirit Bolt, Changeling, and the Mana Cleanse abilities - Removed Horror Summoning and Hollow creation spell - Tone/aesthetic change - Added all redlines - Renamed Spells - Included an interaction for Veil Watchers using Mana Sight - Additional minor changes to the grammar and overall structure of the lore piece Edited November 20, 2022 by Booklight12 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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