Zaerie 3286 Popular Post Share Posted December 5, 2022 The Five of Cups stands for loss, grief, disappointment, sadness, mourning, and discontent. Generally being depicted with three cups being knocked over or falling, representing the current loss, and two cups still upright that are ignored as the figure is more focused on mourning what is lost than what remains. If only the figure looked to what was left, perhaps their loss would be less painful. If only Johanna had looked to what she had, perhaps she would’ve stopped dreaming of what could have been. Spoiler BORROWED PLACES, AND LONG LOST FACES The Unfinished memoirs of the Duchess of Reinmar These are currently unpublished. Over the course of the memoirs, the writing gets worse, as if her vision was deteriorating. MY LANDSLIDE OF LIFE PART ONE: THE PATH I WANT AND THE PATH I TAKE I was a small, sickly child who stayed indoors and read books, practiced music, and drew. For years I only knew two worlds, the inside of Reinmar, and the world inside my own mind; a fantasy of stories of nonexistent kingdoms, empires, with princesses riding off on adventures with no care to hold them down. The little love stories I had written about the lovely lady who took her fate into her own hands and escaped from expectation. I never expected for my own life to come to mirror some of those fantasies. When I got word that Konstanz was gone, I didn’t even realize what it meant, until I was walking solemnly down the hallway towards my room, and peered at the marking on his door. It did not read Konstanz, or any nickname for him. In plain words it spelled out a title. “Baron von Sigradz” It snapped me back to the reality that was sitting right in front of me. That title couldn’t be empty. It wasn’t going to be the life of our father retiring, and then Konstanz being in charge and then his son or daughter moving into the room. It was me. I was next. There was no son, there was no Konstanz. My older sisters were married, the Karenina accord was in effect, and Eugen was younger than me. It was me, and now I have to figure out what to do with it. I started out by trying to make some friends- I met Adele Ludovar and she seems nice, but other than her, it’s been a slow going project. I’ve been kind of lonely, actually. I thought I was used to being alone and self sufficient, but somehow I’ve surprised myself. Maybe I just didn’t miss it because I never had it. In the spirit of making new friends, or out of my own selfishness (I have yet to pinpoint exactly which one, but most likely the latter), I have decided to step out and go on adventures. I started by simply riding out the gate of Karosgrad, and into Fenn. Down in the caves of Nor’asath, I was looking into the deep hot spring pools when I spotted an octopus, and Princess Catherine of Oren spotted me. After an explanation of exactly why I was laying on the cave floor, glaring into a pool, Cat and I decided to go for a swim and attempt to capture the creature. After much difficulty swimming around the pool, Cat caught our new friend, ‘Alfredo’. After brief, and both false introductions, we set off for Celia’nor as “Cat” and “Hanna”, both with no last names; neither of us knowing the truth of who the other was, and neither caring. From Celia’nor to Amaethea, where I met Cat’s friend, and hopeful (on his side) love interest, Nika, Sea Captain of the Scarlet Eye crew. He wasn’t particularly quick to catch on to Cat’s wish for secrecy, and out of his own wish for bantering and joking with her, revealed her royal secret with a few cheeky “Your Highnesses”. We snuck off to a secluded spot once Nika had left, and she told me the full truth of where Nika’s greetings were coming from. With Catherine’s identity out in the open, I revealed my own and my purpose for traveling. As it turned out, it seemed to be fate that brought us together. We were both running from reality And chasing our real selves. PART TWO: CHASING MYSELF To be behest of my ambition, Cat and I continued on. We went to the Vale of Neveahlen, where Nika continued with us and we played childrens games among the trees. We wandered the halls of the library, browsing the books of the elves and their history. Wandering the caves and running my fingers along strange wooden carvings, and the large, comforting sculpture of a bear. We enjoyed our time in the Vale, and I would return again, and I hope to do so again in the future. I met a tall, burly man in Oren, he rode atop a horse which he cared for deeply. He appeared to be a gentle giant, perhaps a little slow, but he was soft, and comforting, and perhaps his kindness filled something in me that had been missing. “Vanhart von Alstreim” His name echoed within my ears like the answer to a question I had been long avoiding, but required attention. He was someone I wished to get to know, to see the world with; and so we invited him along. He came back to the Vale with us where I showed him that great wooden bear that had drawn me to the warmth of the firepit in its lap, and the musical instruments that lined up around it, and by the time we were done exploring and reminiscing, I had to return home. There was a promise that we would go to other places together, but we had expected it to be some time before we would see eachother again. I had known that since my brother's death, some things in my life would need to go differently than I had envisioned. Mainly, my relationship status. I had wanted to never marry originally, to explore and do as I pleased. I wanted to leave my mark on the world through physical creations, not children, but art, architecture, writing. When I was faced with my strange sort-of-uncle-Pontiff standing in front of me introducing me to my betrothed, there were two things that knocked the wind out of me. One, that I was going to get married soon, and that this was going to be only the beginning of my life changes that come with heirship. And two, that the man that Klaus was introducing me to was none other than Vanhart von Alstreim. Klaus, rightfully, seemed rather shocked that we already knew each other. I was just happy that I was betrothed to the only man that I could ever see myself happily putting on a wedding dress for. PART THREE: FAMILY LIKE FLIES My enjoyable explorations came to a shuddering halt the day of my wedding, surprisingly, not because of the wedding. I was wearing white, the stupid getup I had prepared, with a green and blue checkered cloak embroidered with my crest- and my father was dead. He signed his letters of abdication that same day, and then was murdered on the roads outside of Karosgrad. All shows must go on, and well, I refused to have the first thing I do as Duchess be canceling events and ongoings. And so I walked down the aisle, clad in white but soul laden with coal, for the first act of the rest of my life. Things calmed down for a little while. If you can count having my first son, and then triplets calm. I do not. I took time off from proper duties as Duchess, giving them to Conrad for a time. I never wanted to be a mother, even now as I hold my four children in my arms or put them down for a nap, I feel a fraud. I am unfit for every duty that has been passed to me. I am unfit to rule. I am unfit to lead. I am unfit to have a family. I am unfit. I am a mouse scurrying around in another person's keep, but here I must live. From here on out, there would only be planned chapter titles and brief notes. PART FOUR: TO MAKE MY OWN How I appreciate those that have stood beside me. The building of Rozenfeld House guards and friends Karl, Frey, Daerine Conrad. PART FIVE: DUTY AND PAPERWORK In my bones I am tired, and I want to live my own life. Palatine Preparing for passing off the duchy Dropping Vandalore PART SIX: MY PATH, NO OTHERS I shall take back my ability to choose. Finally being only my own person Using my chosen skills Hyspia project Felix. Scribbled at the bottom was a final note from before she left for the siege. This was the worst handwriting by far, as if she could barely see what she was doing. Throughout my life I suffered. I was struck with immeasurable guilt and grief time after time like waves raging against the walls of a seaside keep, and yet I remained. Friends and close family slowly patched the holes that the sea dug into, but no one can repair it fully. To those that find my memoirs, I am sorry that I did not complete them, but I can not truly see what I am writing anymore. My mind and sight has been deteriorating, and I have hid it. Coward. Perhaps I was scared of the history books, or my past has left its mark on my mind to believe that I must never bow to weakness. Perhaps I refuse to be forced to rust- Barclay words damn that fate. To lay it bare, I have lived the life of an honorable liar. Told myself it was all for the best. “Just keep walking, Johanna, it will be over.” I hope that I did justice for those that left their destinies to me. Now I shall forsake what I have been given, and I shall walk into battle with the intent of death. This was a choice not a tragedy. The Memoirs ended there. Johanna walked out from the city long before the siege, in nondescript armor or personalized weapons; all that had been left within her cabin to be claimed by family and friends after her death was discovered. She sat within the watchtower to the North of Karosgrad as she awaited the approach. As the Inferi approached, she pulled back her bow and shot into their ranks. Johanna’s attempts would do little to aid the Haeseni forces, but the blind were never known to be good shots. As the walls began to come down, and the watchtower began to shutter beneath her feet, Johanna would look up towards the sky one last time. As she was knocked from the watchtower, her arms outstretched beside her as she fell backwards, her one-eyed, blotted out vision would clear. As she impacted with the ground, the Lady Palatine of Hanseti-Ruska would die, with two eyes open towards the sky and her mouth twirled into a soft, peaceful grin. Johanna died as she wished she had lived, on her own terms. Johanna Klaudia Barclay 401- 454 ES First Duchess of Reinmar Third Lady Palatine of Hanseti-Ruska Fourth-born child of Johann and Georgina Barclay Princess of Sutica “The Maus” Spoiler Thank you to everyone that has been there for me throughout this character. Despite beginning her at the young young age of 24, she was one of the more turbulent and interesting characters I have ever played (I say that with all of them but they keep topping each other ngl) Genuinely, I planned on keeping her around until like 70, but life gets in the way. About a month ago, I had a family emergency that took all of my freetime and mental energy. I refuse to hold positions that I do nothing with, and I simply cannot get back into the headspace required to continue on as Palatine at the moment. I will be returning, so don’t cheer thinking you’ve gotten rid of me quite yet :) See you on the next one. 39 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmerclown 3911 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Valyris closed her eyes upon being delievered the news of the passing of the Lady Palatine. She took a moment to breathe before gazing over the map of Almaris in front of her. A quiet murmur escaped her as she spoke to herself after dismissing a trove of advisors from the room. "Many who I care for shall fall... the passing of a soul who understood the realities that we face in this realm, one who did good by so many. The entirety of Almaris shall mourn your loss, Johanna." She rose from her seat, preparing to send wishes of condolences to her family after she tucked an aged note into her memento box. Spoiler 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fionn__TWG 2605 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Wilheim heard of his mother's death while he still recovered from a recent bout of food poisoning, the same illness that forced him out of defending Karosgrad himself. Already with a blow to his pride, this news made the man feel as though he couldn't get out of bed, as if his illness had begun once again. While he should have griefed, his thoughts had turned selfish, unaware of the true story behind her death. Perhaps she was the life he could have saved had he been well that day. If only. "Du fell as well? How odd." Konstanz remarked simply as his sister joined him in the Seven Skies. 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frymark 2791 Share Posted December 5, 2022 (edited) Johann signed the Lorraine at the news of the old Princess' death. The Knight would then kneel before a depiction of St. Johann of Sutica, whispering a prayer that the Saint deliver his beloved daughter to the Skies safely. Edited December 5, 2022 by Frymark 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deets 650 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Hearing of Johanna’s demise, Karl began to weep within his home in Rozenfeld. The aging houseguard felt immense guilt at the news of her death, the Reinmaren Retinue having been manning the section of walls beside where the tower had collapsed. “Oh maus, vhy did du have to do zhat..?” he laments. Another friend was gone, and there he stood. Yet again he would go on, he thought to himself. Though for how much longer, he did not know. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdPepsi 31 Share Posted December 5, 2022 (edited) Frey sat in the Reinmar tavern, staring at the large bottle of vodka beside him. “How will we deal with the excess alcohol now?” He sighed and poured a shot, raising his glass. “To our Maus, Johanna.”Hans the puvgump blubs once, munching on an old cig in memory of Johanna. Edited December 5, 2022 by ColdPepsi 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaytoTot 1075 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Annette comforted her husband as he had sobbed for his dear friend. “Ve must celebrate her life nov, more zhan ve ever had.” She offered in advice, though she never seemed to follow it herself. @Deets 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt_Chief26 1205 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Ser Reinhardt Barclay’s armor creaked as he shifted within the Cathedral of Saint Tylos, he sat knelt in prayer before the altar. The old man’s one good shed a tear for the fallen Princess of Sutica as he prayed for her safe accession to the Seven Skies. “May du meet the rest of dein family when du get there, Jojo…” The retired knight paramount murmured “Tell mein wife und mein boys that I will be there soon enough…” 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcs_tonsils_ 2826 Share Posted December 5, 2022 The Savoyard sat within his office as he read of the death, his lips twisted down, leaving a gnarled frown upon his face. “It was a pleasure serving under you, Lady Johanna.” He muttered in a quiet tone. Sebastien’s eyes closed as an exhale departed from his lips. “Poor Conrad.” 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdestPepsi 1025 Share Posted December 5, 2022 First his wife and then his mentors both Ser Emil and Ser Walton. A lot of loss had recently hit Conrad, a lot was weighing down on him, as he was now a father of two by himself with the responsibility of the Paramount. Johanna's death was just another thing he had to put away, for now, to grieve over later and let out during a fight. He kept repeating to himself and anyone who mentioned talking about everything of recent. "I just need to pack it up and push it back for now." 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SethWolf 1353 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Felix was still recovering in the trauma center, his left arm still freshly severed. As he read the missive, he had to force his eyes to continue to scan the missive. When his name was directly mentioned, Felix could not stomach it anymore. His eyes slammed shut and the warrior began to quietly weep. His tears stained the ink of the parchment, but he forced himself to read the final words before crumpling the parchment and covered his face in his one remaining hand. "Johanna, not you...Ea should have been there with you." The palatine guard mourned his old friend who had given him so many fond memories in life. "I should have been there with you." He said once more as he continued to quietly weep, running his hand through his hair as his mind tried to go back to fonder memories of a young Brotherhood initiate. The day in Reinmar, when he beat her in a friendly game of Ur, and his life changed forever. Things were so much simpler back then. But with the death of Johanna, Felix believes those days will never return. He held his palatial brooch in his hand, and ran in his thumb over it. He hoped to see her again one day. In a place where there would be no paperwork, pressure, or political opinion. Only beautiful rose fields and warm summer air. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DahStalker 2837 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Elia Eryka comforts her beloved husband as he scream-cries in a corner, hugging onto a bundle of paper falcons he made furiously out of mourning and stress. @AndrewTech 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic 483 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Daerine's first thought upon hearing the news of Johanna's passing was that it was simply a cruel rumor. Upon seeking out her old friend, though, she found nothing. She clutched desperately at the ring she wore on a chain, her eyes shut tight. "You can't be gone, not yet," she whispered. The night after the siege of Karosgrad, Daerine found herself atop Reinmar's keep. The air was frigid, her breath forming clouds in front of her as she gazed out into the rose fields. "We had so much left to do." In the coming days, Daerine began a trek across Almaris. She took to painting different landscapes she felt Johanna would enjoy. When all was said and done, all such paintings were tossed into the hearth of Reinmar's dining hall. "I wish I could have told you everything," her final words to the Duchess were uttered into the fire, smoke curling in her lungs. ---Juliya Barclay hugged her pseudo-sister in the Seven Skies. "Tell me, Hanna," she gripped Johanna's hand tight. "How is mein bruder?" 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazedpudding 2019 Share Posted December 5, 2022 Josefina sighed softly as she carefully shut the door behind her, having set tea and a small tray of toast down beside her husband. It seemed no matter how much she told her dear husband that he remained faultless, Wilheim seemed all too ready to blame himself. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolcod77 581 Share Posted December 5, 2022 An ancient Barclay Duke welcomed his descendent into the seven skies with a smile and a hug. "Welcome." Elsewhere... Erwin sat upon the hill above Rozenfeld, admiring the work his mother had done and what she had built with tears streaming down his eyes. "Rest in peace, mother." at that the Barclay Lordling removed his sword from the dirt and went to comfort the rest of his family. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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