The Kvaz Khronicle 2: Crime on our Streets?

[Dogged 2128]

Issue Two

11th of Jula & Piov

Volume One

The Kvaz Khronicle 2: Crime in our Streets

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Stories of the day:

Breaking: Bishop Boys Attacking Barclay Cows?

Court held! Updates here!

Exclusive interview with Weiss peer!

 

Page 1

House Bishop starts- and ends- cow competition?

 

The Kingdom of Haenseti-Ruska has announced a new competition for its noble houses: the Leather Leaderboards. The competition, which has been put forth by House Bishop, challenges other houses to engage in a leather donation competition to fill the stocks of the Brotherhood of Saint Karl armory. The quartermasters of the BSK have reported a lack of leather pelts for the crafting of arms and equipment.

 

The competition has received praise from many quarters, with House Bishop's enthusiasm for serving the kingdom being particularly noteworthy. However, not all houses are happy about the competition. 

 

Confirmed reports are circulating that some members, likely boys or teens, of House Bishop have been killing cows belonging to House Barclay, with witnesses, one requesting to go by the name of B.L., reportedly coming forward to report and confirm the crime. B.L. was able to get the attention of one of our reporters and trek down to Reinmar, and report the crime to Ser Karl, a guard of the Duchy. 

 

The Duke of Reinmar has been made aware of the issue, but has yet to make an official statement on the matter.

 

Despite these tensions, the competition is set to go ahead. The winner will receive a prize of 1500 Mina, with the second place house receiving 500 Mina. House Bishop will not be participating in the competition itself, but will watch on with interest. May the best house win!

 

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Page 2

Court Appointments and Announcements

 

Prince Marius, the second-youngest son of King Karll III of the Kingdom of Haense, has been appointed as the new Lord Palatine by his parents. The appointment was announced in a ceremony at the Royal Palace in the capital city of Arvandor, attended by dignitaries and members of the royal family. Prince Marius, who is known for his charisma and leadership skills, is expected to bring a fresh perspective to the role of Lord Palatine, which is responsible for overseeing the administration of justice and the maintenance of public order in the kingdom. In addition to the appointment of Prince Marius as Lord Palatine,

 

Overall, the appointment of Prince Marius as Lord Palatine are welcome news for the people of Haense. The prince is highly respected and well-liked, and his appointment is seen as a positive step forward for the kingdom. 

 

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Page 3

Exclusive Interview With Young Ennobled Weiss!

 

 

The Kvaz Khronicle was able to catch Audo Weiss before he was to engage in pagely duty. The following is a transcript of the interview!

 

“Hi there! What’s your name, place in the family, and occupation?”
 

“Uh, Uh- Uh! Da, well- Eam Audo Weiss, of the Weiss house. Eam the oldest of mea borsas, ag, ah, the heir. Ag, well, ea actual job is cupbearer of His Majesty, but eam also a page to Ser Hothand here, ag, uh, uhm- a student of the Haucprinzen.”

 

“Mhm! Ea see! What has your family contributed to the kingdom that has lead to their peerage, and how have you personally served our kingdom young man?”

 

“Well, uh, uh, papej was brought into the brotherhood by His Majesty ag has served ag now is royal captain! He’s been fighting the inferi war ag lead the Hussars to victory! We’ve even had the Koeng come over, he graffitied our wall, vy know. Teehee! But, ah, uh, eam only just starting. But ea helped to hold the eastern front during the siege! Ea hope with ea education ea’ll be able to do much, much more, yuh, uh, politically.”

 

“Ea see! So would vy describe vyrself as an ambitious young boy?”

 

“Uh… nie. Niet really. Ea just think it’s ea duty. Everyone should work as they can for the Kongzem, should they niet?”

 

We wish Audo and the Weiss family the best of luck, and are glad to show to all the strong patriotism the young Audo shows! He will be a true asset to Haense as he grows.

 

 

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Page 4

Your ad could be here!

Bird Kasimir Kvazyev to purchase a cheap space!

 

Potato Plights?

 

A farmer has reported a disastrous potato harvest, with small and misshapen potatoes, a low yield, and pests and rot plaguing the crops. The farmer expressed devastation and heartbreak over the failure, and hope for a more successful harvest in the future. The news has sparked concern among members of the village, who rely on the farmer for their food supply.

 

As a farmer, I have been tasked with the important job of growing and harvesting potatoes for my village. This year, however, my potato harvest has gone disastrously wrong.

 

The potatoes that I have so carefully tended and nurtured have failed to grow to their full potential. They are small and misshapen, lacking the plumpness and firmness that is desired in a good potato.

 

Furthermore, the yield of my potato harvest has been much lower than expected. My fields are filled with empty patches where the potatoes should have grown, and I fear that I will not have enough to feed my family and my village.

 

To make matters worse, the potatoes that I have managed to harvest are plagued with pests and rot. No matter how carefully I store them, they are beginning to spoil and decay. I fear that I will not be able to sell them at market, and will be left with nothing to show for my hard work and effort.

 

Overall, my potato harvest has been a complete and utter disaster. I am devastated and heartbroken, knowing that I have failed in my duty to provide for my village. I can only hope that next year's harvest will be more successful, and that I will be able to make amends for this year's failure.

 

 

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Page 5

The Kvazyev Company

The Kvazyev Company is a trading company specializing in reporting, weaponry, banking, trading, and meals for the hungry. Seek out Branimar (Doggedwasupxxx) or Kasimir Kvazyev (Lickspittle) for a job. (Dogged#8148, Lickspittle#5373)

 

Want an advertisement in this newspaper?
Want to submit a letter to the editor?

Want to give us a story?

Is there something that must be said?

 

 Bird Kasimir Kvazyev!

 

[SethWolf 1378]

Felix Weiss read the paper with his son Audo as they sat in the tavern enjoying a good meal after training. 
"Vyr in the paper, son!" The newly-made baron looked to his heir, ruffling his hair. 

"Vy'll have to see if we can sponsor this paper." He says with a nod. "Nothing like good old-fashioned journalism."

[Frostdrop1 858]

2 minutes ago, SethWolf said:

Felix Weiss read the paper with his son Audo as they sat in the tavern enjoying a good meal after training. 
"Vyr in the paper, son!" The newly-made baron looked to his heir, ruffling his hair. 

"Vy'll have to see if we can sponsor this paper." He says with a nod. "Nothing like good old-fashioned journalism."

Audo read the paper with his father Felix, leant close to get the best view he could as the fireplace of the tavern crackled behind them. He giggled as his snow-dampened hair was further ruffled, playfully whacking his hand away. He seemed to have regained his energy after all his training, likely owing to the filling meal. "Eam? Eam!" He cheered with a bright smile, ecstatic to be mentioned in the news! "Ea want us to sponsor it too, papej, they put me in the news. Ea want to read more!"

[Mady 2989]

Within the Duchy of Vidaus, Adelajda vas Ruthern would walk into her beloved cow barn which she had commissioned to be made with her own artistic blueprints many years before. To her horror, just as reported from the Duchy of Reinmar, her very own cows she fed and raised herself would lay SLAUGHTERED upon the barn floor, their lives taken by the hands of a torturous thief who had broken in during her lunch break within Druzstra Castle. The Ruthern woman had not yet read the newest edition of the Kvaz Khronicle, though luckily no one was around to see her reaction to finding out the suspected thieves. . .

[SupaSaMM 255]

The Armiger and Royal Alderman would sigh and put a hand to his face in frustration "Zhis vas supposed to be ein competition to provide much needed leather. Godan, whoever did zhis... Godan may he be prosecuted to zhe fullest extent of vhat is possible".  The Bishop would then toss the paper away onto the table and start working on the bookkeeping for the Leather Leaderboard. 

Edited December 16, 2022 by Awesam5555

[Lomiei 1487]

9 minutes ago, Awesam5555 said:

The Armiger and Royal Alderman would sigh and put a hand to his face in frustration "Zhis vas supposed to be ein competition to provide much needed leather. Godan, whoever did zhis... Godan may he be prosecuted to zhe fullest extent of vhat is possible".  The Bishop would then toss the paper away onto the table and start working on the bookkeeping for the Leather Leaderboard. 

"shut zhe **** up cousin" Aurik Bishop said, prior to slapping the man on the back of the head as he overheard the quartermaster's ramblings. "zhe truth vill reveal itself without your harrassments."

[tadabug2000 3494]

Princess Sofia de Pelear read the newsletter with some interest, now beginning a steady collection of many newsletters, such as this, the Hyspian Herald and so on. She'd pause, then, at the cows and positively furious. "Is that who murdered my Hermanos birthday cows? I worked hard to get them for him!" Soon, the calls of the girl sounded, summoning her long suffering house guard, Wyn de la Plata. "Senor Wyn! Make haste!" 

@Roguechaotic