Mannamannaa 1626 Share Posted January 13, 2023 (edited) 【♢――♦】 Bundles of newspapers would be spread throughout Almaris for all to see. While written cleanly and vividly upon dense sheets of high quality parchment, the pages of blocky script would also be covered in scribbled cute doodles! Including a brand new BRAND! 【♢――♦】 Vol. Dub (II) Azh’Kint”Azhty’Azh (CXI) (111) of the Second Age ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ It is time for all to sharpen their blades, don their armor, and prepare for a grand assault against our Great Enemy! Recently the Rex Willi of San’Velku, in keeping with the honour and courage of Krug-kind, has declared that the Iron Horde shall stand alongside our allies in Balian to defeat a new threat. In his own words, “The urukim of the Iron Horde declare their full support, militarily and logistically, to the people of Balian in the wake of threats of destruction from the undead dragon known as Cloudbreaker” This support will encompass everything from soldiers, weapons, and magic, to more nub-klomping aid such as protection and vital needs for the civilians forced away from their homes after the undead filth’s brutal attack upon their capital. The Kaktuz Weekli staff are filled with pride and inspiration upon seeing the people of Krugmar set aside the vile curse of Bloodlust in order to work together with our fellow descendants in Honorable combat against our true foes; the darkness that threatens all life upon Almaris. In the meantime, the shara Rex known as His Royal Majesty Alexander the Azht (I) of Balian has announced a grand summit for all the nations of Almaris to attend, so that more of Descendant kind can work together in defeating this monstrosity! In the Human Kings missive he explains “It is with these desires that we establish ‘The Atrus Covenant’, to mark both the occasion of this summit and to cement our united goal in staving off the onslaught of the undead Cloudbreaker and its minions.” Which is a lot of zhara blah for “Lets get ready to Klomp a Nubded Dragon.” PREPARE FOR THE WAGH, EVERYONE! Such an event will happen on the Azhty’H’gakhth (XVIII) day of the next Daumanlob (Snow’s Maiden) at their Palati Monterosa (Kor’garr assumes that’s their bub’hozhest and most fancy castle). ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ After an understandable pause in frustrations due to the general good cheer during the Krugsmas celebrations across Almaris, it is regrettable to see a return to the usual hostilities between the proud Iron Ugz and our aggressive neighbors to the South. The children of Krug have by no means forgotten the past offenses against them, including various heretical insults, slander, false claims against our Rex, and recently the senseless slaughter of a brother who was blessed by the spirits himself to be gifted animalistic features in honor of the Brazen Bull, all of which no apologies have been issued for. Because of this, Rex Willy of San’Velku has released an announcement declaring the Banishment and exile of all those who follow the banner of Celia’nor from lands of the Horde, in order to, in his own words, “Protect all citizens of the Iron Horde from the destructive tendencies and dark magicks the people of Celia’nor wield and use at their disposal with little to no regard for the rest of the realm.” The Kaktuz Weekli wonders how the void-aligned and darkspawn colluding nation will respond, if they decide to at all. The obstinance of the ‘elven’ nation concerning political matters is quite well known at this point… ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Whispers have been spreading around the spiritual circles, mentions of celebration and trials… The Kaktuz Weekli refers, of course, to the upcoming Vau’Loz! The Vau’Loz is a grand ceremony spanning the lengths of multiple Cactus Weeks, where believers in the spirits from all nations and origins gather to compete in trials, give offerings, and prove their belief and strength in the eyes of the Spirits! This event has not occurred in many, many ages, yet the creation of the Grand Moot has finally brought back the connections required to make such a wonderful display of honor, strength, and worship take place. After some discussion with the event organizers, Kor’garr is delighted to announce the Moot is seeking event hosts, organizers, announcers, and laborers of all kinds to help prepare the events and contests. Such work shall be done in Krugmar, Nor’asath, and even other locations, consisting of both building event sites and representing the Moot during said events. Please reach out to Kor’garr or the esteemed Zhomo Qudlia Jusmia for more information, either in person or with a bird… Agh yub, Kor’garr will provide payment. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Many wish to warm up by a roaring flame during the winter chill, or recover from the heat of too much mead with a taste of winter. In that case, look no further than the wonderfully soothing Orcish beverage known as an Ungri Cocolog. Originally made my the brilliant goblin Nin’sqeek’Ungri for her ravenous Olog brethren to recuperate after one too many holiday feasts (hence the name) this splendidly sweet treat is made with decadent amounts of rich pale milk combined with decadent dark chocolate for all to enjoy. This festive bittersweetness is then balanced by the generous dollops of honey and her special ingredient of infused oracle wood extract, creating a soothing calm that can settle even the most voracious olog’s hanger tantrums. What’s best is this special beverage can be served either chilled (making a rich layer of cream float atop the heavier liquid) or heated (making for a smoother drink that will alleviate any post blizzard sniffles)! Kor’garr personally enjoys his cocolog piping hot with some of those wonderful marshmallow cubes the musin introduced me to, as they slowly melt into the beverage over time for more sugary goodness. Nevertheless, these drinks come in staggeringly large bottles and should be consumed quickly after opening, lest the rich milk spoil in warmer weather. P.S. Kor’garr has experienced first hand the folly of serving this to Musin. It is milk based, and they cannot handle dairy to save their stomachs… Please don’t, for everyone’s sake, let them drink it without ample warning. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ This is a wonderful time for any worshiper of the spirits! Recently our renowned Motsham (head shaman) Al-Uk'Yar has announced the beginning of a grand union between spiritual states and nations across all of Almaris! This coalition begins with the formation of deeper ties between the shamanistic circles of Krugmar and the Ashen State of Nor'Asath, and with the spirits blessings will grow to include the Halfling peoples in our near future. In the meantime, concerns have been raised over the origins of the mojo known only to the writer as “Blood Alchemy” within the Iron Horde. Practitioners claim there is no relation to Dark sources of any kind since it follows the methods of alchemy and the strength of Krug-kind’s ancestral vitality, while spiritual traditionalists under the leadership of our new Motsham call the newly popularized art a disgrace to proper shamanism and worship of the spirits. Only time will tell how this brewing conflict continues to unfold within the Horde. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ This issue’s Uruk of the Week is our new rising star, brother Bumba’Akaal! I was very excited to interview my fellow orc at the Betharuz Tavern and hear all about his recent achievements; This wonderful brother has some hefty aspirations and the strength to peep them through to victory! Note that the following are written in approximations of verbal blah to better capture the character of both interview participants. ✦✧――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Kor'garr: …Zoh diz iz dah tik tu kall latzelv vanzi nayms agh tytulz. [A short chuff of mirth before the interview continues.] Zo, Whoo iz Bumba'Akaal? Dr Bumba'Akaal: Mi ahm Bumba'Akaal, Kukaal ov clan Akaal, Medicgoth ov da Iron'Uzg, Haruspex agh Witch Doctor, Shaman ov Grizh agh Healing. Kor’garr: Yub, veri hozh! Dat'zag lot uv tytulz, agh nub-urukz moight noht uhndurztand awl uv dehm. Kayr tu ixplayn abowtz lat being dah Medicgovv nowz? Dr Bumba'Akaal: Ah yub. Mi have years agh yearz ov experience sakrificing people agh thingz, zo mi haz learned ah deep grukkage on da body agh wub it takes to heal it. Zo mi will uze my haruzpexy agh zhomizm fer such. Kor’garr: Yub, agh 'ow wihl daht grukkage ov zakrivyze 'elp lat en dah duteez ov Medicgovv? Dr Bumba’Akaal: Well… Der ahm alot ov wayz it will do zuch… mi planz on expanding da medikal zervicez ov da goi. Mi wantz to create ah group ov medical profezzionalz dat haz ah high succezz rate in saving bruddahz like… fifty percent, yub. Agh den mi wantz to make uz well known zo all da Uzg can gruk da powur uv urukim medicinez! Kor’garr: Dat iz'ag veri ambizhuz goal, Doktor Bumba! Wihl deez medikul zervicez bi moztly vor emurgenzi, ohr alzo teyk kayr uv moar muhndayn helth izzuez en dah goi? Dr Bumba’Akaal: Mi zervicez will be open to all peepul, yub… it ahm important fer all people, evun nub-uruks, to have accezz to affordable medicine. While mi practicez ahm extremely, extremely, bub'painful, dey ahm efficient agh will lead to helping bruddahz agh people, yub. Kor’garr: Wehl, wi moight wunt tu yuze zum blizzvoyl vor dah nub-urukz… Meybi'ag travel ohr tryp tu zhow lat'z zkyllz en medizine moight bi hozh vor latz buzinezz tu zpred. Dr Bumba’Akaal: Yub, mi planz on traveling around agh offering mi zkillz to people, but dat ahm ah few yearz down da road…. Firzt mi needz to turn the medical offices into ah known resource, yub. Kor’garr: Dat iz'ag hozh ideyuh, yub. Agh how much wihl lat bi yuzing zhomoizm en dah clinic'z regyulur akzhunz? Dr Bumba’Akaal: Mi will uze zhomoizm a lot, ezpecially on more extreme zituationz like lozing limbz agh zkak… But mi grukz medical haruzpexy ahm ah more holliztic experience, yub. Kor’garr: Kor'garr wihl peep vorwurd tu dah moar widezpred yuze uv Haruzpexy dehn. …Wehl, daht zhuld bi awl Kor'garr needz, unlezz lat gotz eny lazt rimarkz vor dah reedurz? Dr Bumba’Akaal: Mi latz remarkz iz dat mi wizhez to uze mi incredible expertize in medicine to zhow da Uzg da greatnezz ov urukim agh zhow dat der ahm honor in every tik ov profession! ✦✧――――――――――――――――――✧✦ As everyone can see, our new Medicgoth is an exemplary model that Honor is not only to be found on the battlefield or through taking lives, but also by saving them and allowing our fellows to fight another day. Surely more like him will be needed in the coming times, and the Kaktuz Weekli is delighted to find out how his career in medicine develops! ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Recently Skumu has acquired a buub, it was a Krugzmaz gift from Kor'Garr. Skumu is very very thankful, so adding onto Kaktuz weekli is a segment where Skumu shall draw a buub for you all and give you a fact about them! This issue is about how much smarter buubz are than howlers! Buubz are so much smarter they remember where grub is and will never forget! They love grub just like so many Bruddas! Also they can play games! They are the fifth ( H’ ) Most intelligent animal in the world! Skumu loves Buubz so much! Here is Skumu's Buub! His name is Kor'Garr Jr! ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Here is where Kor’garr or other members of the Kaktuz Weekli will respond to messages submitted by our readers! Feel free to Blah with Kor’garr or send a bird to San’Velku’s aviary with your questions or stories, and we will put them into the Paper! ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ “More will be added in later issues! Again, Rulg to the Writer’s Guild of Almaris for their support in this publication. Issues will (now) always be released during the later half of the Grand Harvest. Also please note we are still hiring members for a variety of occupations.” ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Kor’garr - Writer, Zkriptgoth. Skumu - Artist, Formatter [OOC - Pings and References] Spoiler If you want to subscribe or send in a Q&A submission, please reply to this forum post or send a bird to Kor’garr through the aviary plugin. Thank you all so much for the support! @Dinochad Spoiler https://www.lordofthecraft.net/forums/topic/221963-the-righteous-summit/?tab=comments#comment-1957355 https://www.lordofthecraft.net/forums/topic/221759-a-pledge-made-and-a-pledge-not-forgotten/?tab=comments https://www.lordofthecraft.net/forums/topic/221762-the-banishment-of-celianor-citizens/#replyForm Edited January 13, 2023 by Mannamannaa V 1.1: Name change to prevent any IRP/OOC meta assumptions over similar sounding names. 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
teeylin 974 Share Posted January 13, 2023 Isrith Ilicaeryn is glad to see the familiar Kor'garr's publication is going well, and he pins up a copy onto the Nor'asath news board! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrunkPapaBear 1975 Share Posted January 13, 2023 A Haruspex and Witch Doctor read this second edition of the kaktus weekly with a tusked smile. « Bub’hosh work Mi bruddah! » He then went to pay some drinks to the writer and give some drugs to the young artist. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
annabanana1014 1631 Share Posted January 13, 2023 The Baroness and Petran Writer, Evangeline Daphne, would beam as she quickly read the missive! "Oh! How lovely this is. I wish I understood it a bit better, but the writing and format is spectacular. I do enjoy a good newspaper!" 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatFunkyBunch 2037 Share Posted January 13, 2023 A further notice has been sent to the editors of The Kaktuz Weekli. From Qudlia Jusmia𝕍 𝔸 𝕌' 𝕃 𝕆 ℤ: 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔾ℝ𝔸ℕ𝔻 𝕊ℙ𝕀ℝ𝕀𝕋 𝔾𝔸𝕄𝔼𝕊Artist Credit: Yin WangThe beginning of Vau'loz is simple. ______________________________________________________________ Vau'loz is started by the selection of a Game Masters, , and Task Masters. After these are selected, a grand brazier is fashioned. Once each Task Master has selected an area, created their competition. The Game Masters will light the brazier. This will officially declare the state of Vau'loz. Vau'loz is not complete until each Task Master has selected their own victor. Victors, are typically granted audience into the realm of the spirit they competed for. Runner ups gain material prizes. In addition, if the spirit in question has no Champions, Vau'loz may declare victors as the champion of the spirit they compete for. ______________________________________________________________:Game Masters:These induvial's act as an referees, coordinators, and judges of Vau'loz Those wishing to be selected as a Game Master, contact any of the below. :Current Game Masters: Mothsham Al-Uk Yar: Game Master of Krugmar Porobmôg Qudlia Jusmia: Game Master of Nor'asath Kor’garr: Offical Vau'loz Announcer ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ :Task masters: Task Masters are assigned to create tasks, oversee competition, and rewards for a single spirit. Should a spirit have a champion, it is natural that the title of Task Master falls upon them. Their is only one Task Mandatory. At the end of Vau'loz, every victor of the tasks before gather in an arena. A battle to unconsciousness (K.O) with only blunted weapons and leather armors. The Victor shall be claimed as the Spirits Champion until the next Vau'loz. :Exampes of Tasks to Come: Votars Task Master would need to find game beforehand, stake out hunting grounds and lead challengers to them. They will be in charge of deciding how one wins the task. Ghorzas Task Master would need to make a pathway that spans for miles. Commonly, a marathon is held for Ghorzas. Where runners may be on their feet for weeks.:Current Task Masters: To become a Task Master, send bird to any Game Master, and this notice shall be updated in accordance. :None: ______________________________________________________________THE RULES OF VAU'LOZ Breaking these may result in disqualification Killing a fellow competitor. Cheating at any Task as set by a Task Master. The use of any magic as a competitor. Threatening/Bribing/Blackmailing any Task Master or Game Master. Any form of sabotage against another competitor. Use of any performance enhancing chemicals, or alchemical effects. Breaking the rules of any Task as set by a Task Master 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panashea 2644 Share Posted January 13, 2023 Ghoraza finally sets his eyes on the missive, grinning at the improvements. "Ghoraza will see to this moot agh to the growing process of the Iron'Uzg. Tiks change, agh the seasons with it." 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClassyDryad 1732 Share Posted January 15, 2023 Spoiler This post is legitimately so good like I am going to cry. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannamannaa 1626 Author Share Posted January 15, 2023 9 hours ago, ClassyBells said: Hide contents This post is legitimately so good like I am going to cry. Spoiler I am so so happy and grateful for the compliment! Thank you so much Classybells! What was your favorite part, if you don't mind me asking? 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClassyDryad 1732 Share Posted January 16, 2023 11 hours ago, Mannamannaa said: Hide contents I am so so happy and grateful for the compliment! Thank you so much Classybells! What was your favorite part, if you don't mind me asking? Spoiler I love the interview! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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