FIDES CUCKIFICUS

[MRCHENN 3663]

FIDES CUCKIFICUS

FAITH IN CUCKOLDRY

 

Addressed to the Faithful Flock of Almaris

OF THE LOFTIEST ANTI-PONTIFICATION 

 

DEMOTHEUS DERFEYVS SEVENTUS

 

Hark! Ye faithful of the Derfeyist Church, gather 'round and listen close. We are excited to have returned from travel to bring our flock great tidings of great mirth and absurdity. For the Cuck of Valfleur, who was wronged and scorned by the so-called unfaithful Archduchess, has found enlightenment.

Verily, does Saint Constantin's heartache know no bounds, for he was cuckolded by a foreign prince from Haense. But fear not, for in his suffering, Saint Constantin has found redemption. 

As it is written in the Second Canticle of Derfey:

"And lo, the Derfeyist doth cry out, 'Tis not the blade that maketh the man, but the cucketh that doth break him. Blessed be the cuckold, for he hath been tested in the fires of infidelity and hath emerged stronger in his faith in the Exalted [Derfey]." (6:9).

And so, in his cuckoldry, Saint Constantin hath found glory and a place among the saints within the Seven Caves of Derfeyist heaven. He hath become a shining example of Derfey's teachings, a beacon of hope for all those who suffer in love.

So sayeth Derfey, the first Exalted Derfey, and not the last. Derfey giveth, Derfey taketh, so the adage goes. Let us all take heed from Saint Constantin's example and find glory in our suffering, for in the eyes of Derfey, the cuck is truly blessed.

In the name of Derfey, I anoint Saint Constantin, Cuck of Valfleur, and do hereby mandate that he shall be revered and celebrated among our flock forevermore. Let us take solace in his example, and remember that even in the darkest of times, Derfey's light doth shine.

For it is through his suffering, his humility, and his unwavering devotion to the holy institution of marriage that he has proven himself worthy of such an esteemed accolade. It is upon the hour of this celebrated time for the Prince of Man that the Church of Derfey does enfeoff him the titalage “Ever-cucked” in celebration of his willingness to strike down the Archduchess where she stood for her infidelity. Furthermore, We do implore the members of our Holy Father Church in Minitz to by religious and secular mandate procure a wife for every unwedded man from eighteen to thirty years old in honor of Saint Constantin’s sacrifice.

 

---

 

ST. CONSTANZ OF PETRA

GOLDEN CHALICE

 

Patron Saint of Cuckolds

The holy relic of Saint Constantin the Cuckhold of Valfleur is a golden chalice, adorned with engravings of antlers and the crest of the foreign prince from Haense. This chalice is said to be filled with the tears of Saint Constantin, shed in his moment of greatest humility and devotion to the Derfeyist faith. It is believed that drinking from the chalice will grant the drinker the strength and fortitude to endure the trials of cuckoldry and emerge victorious in the eyes of the Derfeyist Church.

Miracles:

1. Firstly, through his cuckoldry, Saint Constantin has managed to gain the favor of the foreign prince of Haense, thereby securing a valuable alliance for our beloved kingdom. Truly, this is a miracle of diplomacy and statecraft.

2. Saint Constantin, in his ability to turn the tears of his cuckoldry into a potent elixir that, when consumed, granted the drinker the ability to see the true nature of their partner's infidelity and the strength to forgive them. This miracle has been witnessed by many of our faithful, and we urge all to partake in this blessed elixir, for it brings not only forgiveness but also the strength to move on from the pain of betrayal.

So let us all raise our voices in praise of Saint Constantin, the patron saint of cuckolds, and his miracles. May his story serve as a shining example of how even in the darkest of moments, forgiveness and strength can be found.

In the name of Derfey and with the Balance of Yemekar, as well as Holy Matrimony with the Burning Bush,

REJOICE, REJOICE, REJOICE!

DEMOTHEUS DERFIVS JUVENTUS

POMPOUS SEVENTUS

[Nectorist 7347]

Philip III, residing in the Derfeyist heaven called the Seven Caves, claps at the missive. "Good work, Your Holiness!"

[Jentos 6813]

The An-Gho's soul, undergoing temporary تَنْويريّ (see: [tanwīriyy]), becomes enlightened for a second time upon absorbing the contents of the divine declaration. 

[Demotheus 649]

OOC: Who the **** are you and why is my name here? lmao