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Heartland Folkball League - Championships XI


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Spoiler

 IT'S FOLKBALL FRIDAY!!!!!!!!

 

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Heartland Folkball League

Championships XI

 

1909 Heartland Folkball League in the Fields of Velec

 

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Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark,

Good for whatever ales you!

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The Florentine Bulls Relocate!

Sedan Gets Team!

 

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Over the last six years of the HFL, the Florentine Bulls have faltered as a team and ultimately been left with minimal talent in Florentine. Under the direction of Head Coach Filippo Jacoson, the Florentine Bulls, the team founded by Servo Falcone in 1878, packed up bags and trotted to Sedan. The Prince welcomed the new team, but most observers expect it will be a few years before they can settle in and compete against other drilled squads. However, how can you not love their painted shields! Striking and stunning!

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HFL Commissions Championship Cup

 

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During the afterfeast of the 1908 championship tournament, the HFL gifted Heinrik Rarehird and Charles Fisherman a large cup of specialty sweet wine to honor their success on the pitch. However, the idea quickly developed into a fashionable statement and trend across the Heartlands. Working with famed Qalasheen smith Mobho Tott, the HFL commissioned a Championship Cup. Each year, following the conclusion of the finals, the winning team will be awarded this tremendous cup filled with the finest vintage to share or sip as they please.

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1909 Bracket

 

Although heartland tension, especially along the River Petra, has swelled, the Heartland Folkball League must play on! For all those reading, stay safe and take comfort in knowing that the HFL officials and players will not be intimidated by wars or recession. Even in the darkness of bad times, there is a light in communal recreation and sport! If you are inclined to spread that light, try out Folkball with your local townsfolk (rules here). But if not, let us delight your sensations with the detailing of this Eleventh Annual Championship tournament in the Heartlands of man.

 

With over a decade of existence, the HFL selected a location from amongst the pitches across the Heartland and beyond. This year, the tent town of Velec under the Adrians was chosen. Although rumors abound that Haverlock would be selected, the HFL has walked back any association with playing on such hallowed ground.

 

As the week of festivities began, the coaches and captains of the teams drew the lots. However, the Petran Suns had not arrived. They were given the last lot, but it happened to be the first-place seed. However, there was a noticeable lack of any Suns fans in the crowds and eatery masses, for the yellow sun had dimmed.

 

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Game 1

Petran Suns

vs

Atrus Stars

 

As the first day opened, the morning match between the Suns and the Stars, monikered the Light Bowl by cackling fans, was uneventful. In fact, officials could not find a single Suns player, and their tents were never moved into.

 

After waiting nearly till mid-day, the officials had the Bianc Cavaliere toss in a token net to call the game a win for the Stars. With that, the Petrans were declared to have forfeited the match by failure to appear. Stars fans took the time to reflect on the ongoing conflict, and coach Kaream Jabar of the Stars prayed at half-field for God’s guidance during these troubles.

 

With humility, the Stars managed to advance to the semi-finals, though the victory felt hollow…

 

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Game 2

New Vienne Upstreeters

vs

Sedan Goats

 

The newest team to the HFL marched onto the field against the oldest team in the afternoon game of the first day. The Goats’ seamstresses had not been able to complete a full kit for each player, so the uniforms they displayed were utter hodgepodge. Giuseppe il Muro, the Sedanite shielder, had crudely painted over the black bull of Florentine with a white splodge and drew a smiling face over it. More notably, though, Roberto il Toro was not seen on the team and was later announced to have been left in Florentine with no chance of moving with the team.

 

As for the match, the Fishman dominated for the Upstreeters! The new recruits to the Goats had little chance against such a famous or infamous team. Some compared the rout to that of the Downstreeters following the St. Ari’s Day Massacre. However, this pamphlet assures you that no player was hurt that badly, we think. Although Charles Fisherman did not get to the impressive six nets he had scored against Minitz in 1908, he did manage to knock in a total of five against the abysmal defense of the Goats.

 

Filippo Jacoson, coach of Sedan, clarified that this was the beginning of a rebuilding process. Over the coming years, he hopes to recruit and train new talent of Sedanian natives, including an elusive Auvergne player that is rumored to be exceptionally talented. Although Jacoson never stated the name, most believe he refers to Louis du Ballon, who was recently seen on the benches of the Goats this season.

 

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Game 3

Grenz Hurlers

vs

Minitz Mootgoers

 

The returning champions of the 1908 bracket, the Grenz Hurlers, squared up against the Minitz Mootgoers for the second day's morning game and did not disappoint. Out of the gate Heinrik Rarehird, the half of the Hurlers knocked in three nets for an impressive early lead. Although Minitz half Halfbert Pocke scored a comeback net, and netter Angela Ziegler, one of the only females in the HFL, knocked one of Rarehird's shots over the net, it was not enough.

 

By the end, Rarehird had scored four nets alone, with two others by netter Andrik Lothar and half Willem Steav. However, the Bauerbecken Vow was not broken, and Minitz did not go home shut out. Although coach Franz Bauerbecken once again expressed disappointment with the turnout, he said it was unfortunate to run up against one of the best teams in the HFL in the first game. He continued, "Fear not, Minitzers! We will be back with a vengeance next year! FOR LEON BARCLAY IS STILL ALIVE!" The troupe was seen marching around the game, singing the song every day at least four times, much to the despair of the other teams' ears.

 

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Game 4

Bywater Hedgehogs

vs

Adrian Black Barons

 

The impressive Hedgehogs went to take on the home team in the Black Barons, though they had unfortunately pulled the lowest lot. Coming off a second-place finish, the Hedgehogs came into this game with a jovial mood, but after the starting bell, the intensity hit them. Hugh Heffher, shielder for the Barons, rolled out Obidiah Longfoot with such force that he had to be removed from the field after a few minutes. However, Jerry Applebuck settled the score when he ‘accidentally’ hit Heffher over the head with his buckethelm, causing the shielder to lose consciousness. After a lengthy argument with the officials, he was still ejected for a hit to the head.

 

By mid-game, the Hedgehogs were down to three players against the Barons’ four. Despite this, the Bywater halfs, known as the Dancing Devil Duo, Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands, managed to rack up net after net against netters Andrik Lethen and Alec Ratiborison. Ratiborison only managed to knock one shot over the net for a defensive half-point, but it was not enough by the final bell to award the home team a victory.

 

Both teams refused to shake hands after the game and appear to have developed quite a rivalry. Baron’s coach Rikhein Ingrid was heard referring to the halflings as “shit-shaven dwarves.” Bywater coach Flanagan Greenwhistle replied to the comment by saying that “the bigguns should just get better at their own sport, so we don’t beat the living snot out of them every time!”

 

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Semi-Finals 1

Atrus Stars

vs

New Vienne Upstreeters

 

Eager to return to the finals, the Upstreeters strode onto the pitch on the second day’s morning. Each Upstreeter wore a cockade bearing the profile of Prince James of Aaun, who the team admires and has invited to be their patron multiple times. This public show of affection will hopefully woo over the princeling and heir! Meanwhile, the Stars were intent on not stopping at the semi-finals.

 

Through the morning dew, the men clashed in the fields of Velec, the tent city bustling with activity as traders could be heard hawking their wares from beyond the sidelines. Going into the match, the stars were aware of Charles Fisherman’s prowess and heavily prioritized his coverage. But even with this protection, the Fish snuck past shielder Alekos Georgopoulos three times to score.

 

Alfredo Canto, half for Atrus, managed to score two nets along with a single point from the handiwork of the Bianc Cavaliere. It was barely enough to keep the game even, and the Fish was constantly pressuring the net. During the last few minutes, Stars’ netter Rafail Moor managed to faint Charles Fisherman into a poor shot and knock it over the net. With a roar from the crowd and the sudden bell ring, the move had managed to win the Stars their first semi-finals. Fans rushed the field, and Moor was proclaimed a hero of the team, hoisted high on the shoulders of the masses.

 

However, we are unsure if anyone told them they had only won the semi-finals and still had a final match to prepare for the next day. As the day went on, various Balianite players were seen disobeying their coach’s orders, drinking copious amounts of wine, and feasting on heartland fares such as rich pepperwines, buttered beans, and bacon-wrapped trout over lentils.

 

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Semi-Finals 2

Grenz Hurlers

vs

Bywater Hedgehogs

 

In a rematch from last year’s finals, the Bywater Hedgehogs took on the Grenz Hurlers. Haeseni fans were seen streaking in from the North for this game, a noticeable feat for a Heartland sport to achieve. The Grenz’s star player, Heinrik Rarehird, was benched for this game after a supposed injury to his throwing arm. This led many to favor the Hedgehogs as Rarehird’s substitution, Seth Hairytooth, was less than appealing in physical form or vain appearances.

 

Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands, the Dancing Devil Duo, showed off their passing skills throughout the entire affair, scoring two nets. Hairytooth proved utterly useless in taking up the role of Rarehird, but then again, who could expect such a man to fill the shoes of a giant.

 

By the game’s end, Bywater had sailed to victory, and the Hurlers were down by a point and a half with little recourse. As the final bell rang, the teams showed the utmost respect for the sport by shaking hands and even hugging. Although the Hurlers were undoubtedly let down by the loss to the halflings, they do still hold the 1908 championship over the Hedgehogs.

 

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Championships

Atrus Stars

vs

Bywater Hedgehogs

 

For the first time in HFL history, two expansion teams have come up against one another in the finals. This proves that the Heartlanders are not the only ones who know how to play on the pitch. The Halflings are, in fact, the first all-non-human team to have a chance at winning the cup. And to think, this is the first year the championship cup is being delivered to the victorious team. Those little fellas will end up drowning in that deep dish!

 

The third and final day was flooded with people as Heartlanders poured from across the fields to see these foreign teams play for their league’s championship. Although some were disappointed or angry at the inclusion of outsiders into a Heartland sport, the league has always been open to all races and nationalities.

 

The Dancing Devil Duo and the Bianc Cavaliere were consistently embroiled in spats. Longstride and Smoothhands were at one point fully clinging to the body, arms, and legs of the white armored knight to slow him down. Although the Cavaliere claims he was bitten multiple times, the officials did not call a foul, so play continued.

 

The Stars’ shielder, Alekos Georgopoulos, has developed into a slight weakness for the team. Especially against versed shielders like Obidiah Longfoot, he was quickly outmaneuvered and downed on several occasions. Moor and Applebuck, netters for Atrus and Bywater, respectively, were impressively on top of their game. As the halfs were constantly distracted, the netters could force over shot after shot. In essence, this game came down to the netters more than the halfs.

 

In the final minutes of the affair, a misstep by the Bianc Cavaliere caused a kilter shot. Striking the buckethelm of Applebuck and flying over the net, the officials signaled a defensive point. Although a few more attempts were made by either side, the over-aggressive rush of the Stars managed to come back to bite them in the end as Bywater squeaked out the victory by a single half point.

 

So, by midday, the halflings claimed the first-ever HFL cup and their first-ever championship, only in their second year of play. The celebrations, as usual, were extravagant and bedecked with the colorful pendants of each team. Because of his exceptional net work, Jerry Applebuck was proclaimed the Most Valuable Folk and given the same cup as Rarehird and Fisherman the year prior. Although some fans thought it should have gone to the Dancing Devil Duo or even the Bianc Cavaliere, the HFL officials stated their decision was impartial and based on the highest contribution.

 

And so, amidst the turmoil on the Petra, the HFL closed its 1909 tournament. Until next year, dearest readers and Folkball enthusiasts. Until next year!

 

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Congratulations to the Winners!

of the

Heartland Folkball League Championships XI

 

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THE BYWATER HEDGEHOGS!

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List of Champions

 

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1899……… Petran Suns

1900……… New Vienne Upstreeters

1901……… Florentine Bulls

1902……… Florentine Bulls

1903……… Florentine Bulls

1904……… Grenz Hurlers

1905……… Petran Suns

1906……… New Vienne Upstreeters

1907……… New Vienne Upstreeters

1908……… Grenz Hurlers

1909……… Bywater Hedgehogs (This Year)

 

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List of Most Valuable Folk

 

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1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers)

1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters)

1909 …………………… Jerry Applebuck (Bywater Hedgehogs)

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The Sedanites Join the HFL!

 

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The Sedan Goats

 

Originally the Florentine Bulls, founded in 1878, the Sedan Goats are the newest team in the HFL. After suffering from the decaying state of the town and facilities in Florentine, coach Filippo Jacoson moved the team and what players he could bring along to Sedan in 1909. Although a hastily made plan, the team has the backing of the Prince and his coffers. Likewise, it has positioned itself to cater to Auvergne fans across the Heartlands.

 

ROSTER:

 

Shielder - Giuseppe il Muro

Halfback - Roberto il Toro

Halfback - Antonio la Bianca

Netkeeper - Stefano Valentina

Netkeeper - Pierre Escargot

Bench - Jean-Luke Bicard

Bench - Louis du Ballon

Bench - Robert il Niro

 

Coach - Filippo Jacoson

 

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Kasimir Sarkozic screamed out in anguish as his home team, the 'Atrus Stars' lost this year's championship game!

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Prince Frederick II of Sedan cheers for the Sedan Goats as they left home to participate in the HFL! 

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“W-weh WON?” says Mimosa Applefoot “Tha’s incredible! Oi knew all t’ae prac’ice would pay off!”

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Down below in the underbelly of Vienne, within the ruins of Providence, a clandestine operation begins within these dark depths to augment the best folkball player ever to grace the pitch - the New Vienne Upstreeters will not lose the next Championship Cup.

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Kansas City Chiefs Football GIF by NFL

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