MockingbirdArt 571 Share Posted February 20, 2023 Disk, you have always been an amazing person to rp with and talk to oocly. When I took the offer to rp Azra (Vakas' son) I didn't expect to meet such a great person, listening to all your stories was always an enjoyment. Will miss you greatly Disk but I also wish you well and I hope life blesses you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibn Khaldun 7728 Share Posted February 20, 2023 17 hours ago, Disklexia said: Throughout my time in LoTC I had good times and bad times. From the beginning it was my escape from reality when covid hit the world at it's hardest. It was an escape goat from my depression. But just like any drug or addiction the hint of it at the moment might be good. But doing for long term can truly **** you up. Before this server I was a lonely man in VrChat. I met someone on there they were my bestest friend. She was a sweet friend yes she had her problems but still a friend at the end of the day. She would one day introduce me to the server.. She did warn me but I insisted. This action would lead me to joining the server officially. I started off in Norland. Now for those who know this server, when it comes to two or more nations going against each other it is not just rp it's also ooc. Me being a new player did not understand this... My first exposure to the toxicity. I was loved in Norland. Back then it had a settlement. Where my best friend at the time resides in. This settlement would later be known full of rumors and such. This settlement would cause me trouble to come due to it's leader at the time. Which they are now TOS banned. Thank god they are. I lost my best friend due to drama that went out of hands. I tried to defend the person that was getting oocly targeted but I would shortly get attacked. Rumors soon would spread about me. Nothing really bad more like the leader did not like who I tried to defend. I would soon get my character banished and punished over obvious ooc targeting. Later on the leader would come in VC with me and blame me for every little thing that happen within this settlement. He went to an extreme in this. Made me look bad. And even now I have people still saying this even though they were not there for the situation. I mean yeah I get it I had hurt people but lets be honest. Who in this server hasn't? I would soon move to another place.. This place went from a district in a settlement. Turned into a settlement then too a nation. All I am gonna say. I had so much of a breakdown cause once again I felt targeted. And PK'd a character of mine cause of it. Then after all that time I finally found a community. While was very small I did make my first best friend in a Long time. He helped me through alot of the bullshit and paranoia I was going through. Even him and another player would adopt my character into their rp family. At the time I was really happy. I can't thank them enough. Then another community with players like me that had it bad with the one settlement.. They put their trust in me and that made me happy... I never had people do that before in a sense of lordship. I went through my up and downs.. Had good moments and bad moment. All I want to say is that I feel like my paranoia is getting the best of me.. Feeling like I am gonna be attacked again and people talking behind my back. I am slowly realizing my mental health is declining. I am too worried about this server where it put me in a unhealthy position in my own mental health. Now will I come back? Well I don't know. But I am for sure putting up the towel for now. I had a good run and met good people. But I can't afford to be on this server anymore. I do want to thank three communities on making me feel welcomed. Vortice, Helious, and Nor'asath. Thank you for having me as you member of your communities. I am sorry it had to be this way but. I am not well. Thank you all for having me. It was a good run. I sincerely hope you seek the mental clarity and balance that can come from therapy. This particular iteration of a roleplaying game/medium's addictive capacity comes from the fact that it lends itself so well to being a timesink. This can be reinforced by the sort of toxic relationships that you described which in turn expect your presence more and more and, if you've been subjected to mistreatment, just means you will suffer more and more mistreatment the more that X nation pressures you to give it your attention and time. If you decide to return, firstly be honest with yourself whether it is a choice born of just interest + hobby-like decompression. If you are just returning out of interest, perhaps just roleplay a character that is easy for you to pick up + put down without there being expectations that you must log in for X hours. Play for your own entertainment and not out of expectation or chore-like repetition. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheese 2282 Share Posted February 20, 2023 We love you disk, I hope you're able to take care of yourself and move forward past all this. You deserve the world friend <3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo_Dog 1411 Share Posted February 21, 2023 Best of luck Disc and may all go well for you. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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