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Heartland Folkball League - Championships XV

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Spoiler

 

IT'S FOLKBALL FRIDAY!!!!!!!!

 

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Heartland Folkball League

Championships XV

 

1913 Heartland Folkball League on the Fields of Joannesport

 

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Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark,

Good for whatever ales you!

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The Goats Move… Again?!

 

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Don’t blink, or you may miss the Sedanite Goats moving again! Like a band of lost sheep, this team seems to be waddling about the Heartlands, trying to find a home. In six years, the team has moved from Florentine to Sedan, Sedan to Petra, and now Petra to Joannesport in Aaun. Talk about a wild hayride! Let’s hope coach Filippo Jacoson’s footers are willing to put up with the move or if this team may collapse.

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1913 Bracket

 

If Joannesport is good enough for the Goats, it is good enough for Folkball! That was the idea behind moving the 1913 tournament to the lonely lands of Sedan. However, the fields surrounding the city still lay barren, so the players enjoyed the perfect padding of the loamy soil. The Fifteenth Heartland Folkball League Championship Tournament took place amongst the untilled swards between the hedgerows.

 

So to our leal readers, we come to you in this handbill to recount the glories of Almaris’ favorite and only sport! Don’t let anyone else tell you their sport matters because this is the best! After last year’s upset victory by the resurgent Mootgoers, will we see a new challenger rise? Will the Upstreeters return with a vengeance after losing Bloodshield and coach Greg Miller in 1911? Only the words on these parchments will tell you.

 

So, as always, lots were drawn and matches set. And then the play began the next morn.

 

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Game 1

Grenz Hurlers

vs

Minitz Mootgoers

 

On the first morning of the first day of the fifteenth tournament, there was a sudden shock to the fans who rimmed the pitch, expecting a match between the Hurlers and the Mootgoers. From the Hurlers’ tent came the team, led by none other than Heinrik Rarehird! His triumphant return made disillusioned Hurlers fans shout with excitement and the Mootgoers quake. However, he did not take his place on the pitch but on the sidelines with Coach Friedrich Meier. It appeared that Rarehird was back but not playing.

 

So, the officials rang the bell, and the game launched. Each man pushed from his downward stance and rushed to the middle. Despite the morale boost provided by Rarehird, he can hardly be replaced within the Hurlers’ depth. Halfbert Pocke marched down the field and scored two points early on, a lead from which the Hurlers could never catch. On the bright side, though still admittedly dim, the Hurlers’ netter Andrik Lothar deflected one pass from Pocke and scored the team’s only half-point.

 

By the final bell, the Hurlers trailed by two, but Rarehird headed for the team’s tent and released a cage of crows. Although many were confused by the action, it is rumored it is symbolic of next year’s tournament, where crows may fly once more.

 

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Game 2

Joannesport Goats

vs

Bywater Hedgehogs

 

In their third city in three years, the Goats were dismally underperforming from the outset. Netter Alnaurd Michaelson, although not a very good player, did not show up for the match and is supposedly married to a Petran wench he fell in love with. What a fool?! To give up folkball for a girl?! Go and touch the field’s grass!

 

As for the match, the four remaining Goats attempted to stop the Hedgehog’s rushes and were somewhat successful. However, coach Filippo Jacoson’s reluctance to allow players to use their hands continuously impeded their offensive capabilities. Instead, the young Louis du Ballon is only sixteen and can barely compete with these elder folkballers.

 

The Devilish Duo of Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands for Bywater scored one point near the final bell that sailed them to victory. While it was not a decisive win, it gives Bywater a little hope that they are no longer one of the worst teams in the HFL.

 

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Game 3

Barrowton Bannermen

vs

Adrian Black Barons

 

The Bannermen were greatly disappointed when they drew lots and again found their pair to be the Adrian Black Barons. In this rematch from last year’s tournament, the fate of the Bannerman was almost inevitable. Of note, the Barons had spent much of their off-season time scouring the lands near Old Savoy and the far lands of the Qalasheen to discover athletic men, and so they did! The towering behemoth of a farfolk named Amir-Mickyle Yordanza waltzed onto the court. The rookie replaced Heinrik Franzoc, who had hurt his knee training when Leo Pold grew wroth at Franzoc stealing the attention of his female fans. Who knows when that injury will heal!

 

The Bannerman’s offense seemed to have slightly improved, as was evident in the first half of the game. The team’s captain-owner-and ‘star’ half, the Right Honorable Sir Cornelieus Llewellyn Fortescue Smyth XII, was still his characteristically aloof self. He swung his arms wildly around the middle of the pitch, unable to see due to his hulkingly obstructive plate armor and armet. However, salvation came from Everett ‘Bad Mouth’ Tillman. Although he still, true to his name, threw insults at every player he passed, he scored the first two points the Bannermen have ever received in the HFL.

 

Despite this effort, the star power of Leo Pold and the newly-played Yordanza dominated the game. Yordanza scored four, and Pold managed to wrack in the final two, much to the chagrin of Pold, who is not used to sharing the spotlight. By the end of the match, the Bannermen were improving but not anywhere ready to face the Barons. Opposingly, the Barons were delighted with their new player’s height and exceptional long-distance shots that easily sailed through the air, but tension brewed between Yordanza and Pold!

 

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Game 4

New Vienne Upstreeters

vs

Atrus Stars

 

With the Barons watching in anticipation from the sides, the Upstreeters came up against the Stars on the second day’s final match. Both of these teams have impressive records. The Stars are the first fateful team to duel against the Upstreeters since the debacle of 1911 when their coach, Greg Miller, and experimentally rogue half, Thoric Bloodshield, were banned from the league for life.

 

From the first bell, it was clear why Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman is considered one of the best in history. With ease, he had scored three goals by the end of the first half and held the Stars to a single half-point when netter Rafail Moor deflected one of his shots over the net. The Bianc Cavaliere tried to get an offensive movement going in the second half but was stunted by double coverage by Vienne’s Jaremy Smith and Simon Bishop.

 

Towards the end of the match, Alfredo Canto attempted to cover the Fish. Still, he was so severely juked by the man that his ankle was dislocated, and he had to be taken off the pitch. With the final bell, the Stars trailed by four, and the Upstreeters returned to the HFL with a bang (or a pop if you heard Canto’s ankle).

 

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Semi-Finals 1

Minitz Mootgoers

vs

Bywater Hedgehogs

 

Minitz came into the semi-finals with an aura of swagger and nonchalantism. Being faced up against the Hedgehogs was how they began their 1912 road to the championship cup, and they shut them out then. Similarly, the Hedgehogs had only just managed to beat a team of four people when they had five. Coach Gebhard von Minitz described it to one fan before the match as “a cake walk, well, y’know, if cake could walk. This would be it, if it could. But it can’t.” - Wise words!

 

But as the game commenced, it was clear this was no cakewalk (if cake could walk). Halfbert Pocke was able to score four goals throughout the game. Still, the Devilish Duo seemed hyperactive and achieved a matching four, tying the game up by the end of the second half. Amazingly, the halflings had tied one of the best teams in the HFL to a stalemate after two halves.

 

Once the officials convened, they began a third half that was sudden death, and both teams played as if their lives were on the line. The small halfling cheer section erupted in chants that showed their coordination, and the Mootgoers fans began to have chugging competitions in the stands, showing their… team spirit?

 

With a pass from new half Gottfried Biermann to Pocke, he positioned himself for the winning goal. However, the fierce toss bounced off the bucket helm of Bywater’s netter Jerry Applebuck. It landed in the middle of the field. Halfling shielder Obidiah Longfoot threw his shield aside and ran forward, scooping up the ball. His tiny legs carried him far, and he threw the ball at the net with all his bodily might. And then, with minimal effort, netter Conrad Drerad patted it over the net’s crossbar and scored the winning half-point for Minitz! What a let down!

 

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Semi-Finals 2

Adrian Black Barons

vs

New Vienne Upstreeters

 

The third day’s evening match was eventful, to say the least. King Charles was rumored to be watching from on high with the Prince of Sedan, and the New Vienne Upstreeters did not want to disappoint. However, the match did not even get started before it ended. As the Barons marched onto the field and fans swooned at Leo Pold’s gorgeous face, the crowds grew silent. Another hulking giant, the same height as Thoric Bloodshield, years before headed up the Upstreeter’s team. In fact, he looked the same as Bloodhsield except for his long blonde hair.

 

Officials rushed the field, and Coach Rikhein Ingrid demanded to inspect if the giant was wearing a wig. Hugh Heffher, remembering his severe injuries outside the walls of Vienne, hid in the Barons’ tent. After close inspection, and by that, we mean the officials pulled on the giant’s hair, it was discovered the giant was Thoric Bloodshield wearing a wig! What a disgusting thing to wear!!!

 

The officials ejected the entire team for conspiring with Bloodshield’s ruse and gave the victory to the Barons by having Leo Pold jaunt down the field and lightly toss a ball into the opposing net. His female fans rushed the field and delivered copious amounts of kisses that stained the man’s face with lipstick he was unable to remove for days. Yordanza was quite disgruntled that the coach had chosen Pold instead of him to score the symbolic victory over Vienne.

 

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Championships

Minitz Mootgoers

vs

Adrian Black Barons

 

The two dominant cities of Aaun met in Joannesport on the penultimate day of the tournament’s festivities to determine a new champion of folkball. Over the past year, the Barons underwent some significant changes that reframed their chances of success. Coach Rikhein Ingird became a good friend of the duke after saving him from choking on a piece of meat when the duke left his bedchambers for a midnight snack. After that, the two worked in tandem to reform the team, recruit Amir-Mickyle Yordanza from the southern desert, and move the Bydin brothers from bench positions into fieldhand positions like waterbucket boy and head shoe cleaner.

 

Meanwhile, the Mootgoers have continued to train their folkballers in memory of Gither von Volburg and build one of the most ravenous fanbases in folkball history. Gebhard von Minitz stated this week that sales of Mootgoer merchandise have quadrupled since he took over management. This includes colored tunics, branded poleaxes, and stuffed morningstars for the kids!

 

These teams are some of the most formidable in the HFL, so it is no surprise they ended up facing off in this year’s final. As the opening bell rang, it was clear there was a new dynamic, though. Amir-Mickyle Yordanza, a new player in the league, began to shoot shots that were believed to be impossible. From behind the half-court, the rookie could precisely place shots into the net and always be where the netters least expected it. Netters Conrad Drerad and Stam Urher seemed almost powerless to stop the onslaught and allowed five nets from Yordanza. They only managed to knock one of his fifteen shots on goal over the net, scoring Minitz a half-point.

 

Halfbert Pocke spent most of his time brawling with Leo Pold, who wanted to keep the Mootgoer’s star off Yordanza and the ball. Pold was successful and was cheered on by his flock of female fanatics. In fact, they grabbed Pocke shortly after the second bell and drug him over the rails, eliminating him from the game entirely. This started a massive brawl between the Minitzers and the Velecian women who slashed at faces with sharpened nails. Officials did not stop the game for this distraction, and the brawl was still ongoing by the time the game had concluded. Both teams were snuck out to their own tents by HFL guard forces, deemed necessary since the events of 1910. However, in the Barons’ tent, it is rumored that Yordanza and Pold got into a physical altercation about Yordanza not knowing his place and stealing the rightful glory of Pold.

 

So, the Black Barons won their first-ever championship in 1913! With a new star player, will Leo Pold want to share the spotlight? Will Yordanza stay with Velec or seek another team? Will the Hurlers become crows? Will Bywater still exist next year? But yet, these questions will remain unanswered. So, we will wait until next year, dearest readers and Folkball enthusiasts. Until next year!

 

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Congratulations to the Winners!

of the

Heartland Folkball League Championships XV

 

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THE ADRIAN BLACK BARONS!

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List of Champions

 

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1899 ……… Petran Suns

1900 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters

1901 ……… Florentine Bulls

1902 ……… Florentine Bulls

1903 ……… Florentine Bulls

1904 ……… Grenz Hurlers

1905 ……… Petran Suns

1906 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters

1907 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters

1908 ……… Grenz Hurlers

1909 ……… Bywater Hedgehogs

1910 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters

1911 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters

1912 ……… Minitz Mootgoers

1913 ……… Adrian Black Barons (This Year)

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List of Most Valuable Folk

 

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1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers)

1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters)

1909 …………………… Jerry Applebuck (Bywater Hedgehogs)

1910 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters)

1911 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters)

1912 …………………… Gither von Volburg (Minitz Mootgoers)

1913 …………………… Leo Pold (Adrian Black Barons)

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Details on Team Changes

 

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The Joannesport Goats

 

The Joannesport Goats were originally the Florentine Bulls, founded in 1878. After suffering from the decaying state of the town and facilities in Florentine, coach Filippo Jacoson moved the team and what players he could bring along to Sedan in 1909. However, the support was minimized as the lands of Sedan faded, and many peasants left to find better fields. The Prince eventually moved his court to Petra in 1912, and the Goats combined their shield with the Petran Suns, whose sole remaining player had moved in 1911 to Barrowton. Within the same year the team relocated again, this time inside of Aaun to the town of Joannesport. The team is known for its unusual fixation on footwork and not passing or scoring with the ball through their hands.

 

ROSTER:

 

Shielder - Robert il Niro

Halfback - Louis du Ballon

Halfback - Jean-Luke Bicard

Netkeeper - Hildebrando Heinz II

Netkeeper - Pierre Escargot

 

Coach - Filippo Jacoson

 

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The Adrian Black Barons

 

ROSTER:

 

Shielder - Hugh Heffher

Halfback - Leo Pold

Halfback - Heinrik Franzoc

Netkeeper - Alec Ratiborison

Netkeeper - Grzegorz Gadzinka

Bench - Amir-Mickyle Yordanza

 

Coach - Rikhein Ingrid

 

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Upon learning of the Mootgoers humiliating loss against the Black Barons, Henry promptly excused himself from the Minitzian tavern in order to avoid the mob of Minitzers demonstrating against the team's management that was surely to follow.

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Silence falls around Ludrik as he takes a deep breath within the Minitzian tavern. After supplying himself with enough oxygen, he beigns like last time...

 

 

 

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