The Aaunic Times 109 Share Posted March 25, 2023 (edited) Crest of the Most Esteemed Ruler of New Vienne Published throughout the realms of Velen, Minitz, Adria, Aaun, Merryweather, & Sedan on 9th of Hyff | 21st of Godfrey’s Triumph 470 Ehr Sigmunda | 1917 Aaun Calendar THE AAUNIC TIMES GOOD FORTUNE, by the grace of GOD, has brought to our company a publishing house to write, print & distribute this work, which will be a monthly periodical, GOD willing our business is not disrupted by the ongoing war. We at THE AAUNIC TIMES truly hope you are pleased & well-informed by this publication. THE STATE OF THE WAR is currently grim. The Loyalist army scarcely exceeds in number our Rebel foe, and is far outmatched in terms of discipline, leadership, and experience. We are yet to win a decisive battle, and a number of Loyalist veteran soldiers were slain in our disastrous failure to take the city of Velec. May the families of these brave men be consoled in spirit, for all material goods must currently be directed to our war effort. No one denies this, even our LORD CHARLES ALSTION, who has intelligently sought to end this conflict before the Adrian army nears our city, where his life will be put at risk. Even if their armies reach our ruler’s palace, we should not fear, because there are a number of hopeful points we can hang on to. Chiefly, we have the peerless wisdom of our ruler. The most important thing in this war is that our most excellent ruler is not harmed in the slightest, not even a single hair, for we would be stranded without his intrepid steering of our country. If our Lord was wounded - GOD forbid on his head - his ability to rule would be severely hampered, and possibly even end, given his current stress. Thankfully, due to that aforementioned wisdom of our ruler, our LORD CHARLES ALSTION scarcely leaves the peace of his comfortable palace, and never dares to depart the walls of New Vienne. Secondly, we have the freshness of our soldiers. The Loyalist army is composed mostly of new recruits who have not yet seen battle, so they are neither wounded or aware of the horrors of Heartlands warfare. On the contrary, the Rebel army has legions of hardened veterans who have experienced the conflicts of recent decades. This means many of them are missing eyes, fingers, and teeth, which puts them at a disadvantage against our Loyalist conscripts. These Renato-Adrians are also quite old, in their thirties or forties, as opposed to the fresh & vigorous young men who defend the gate of New Vienne. Lastly, we have strong diplomatic connections. To gain the title of ruler of our country, our LORD CHARLES ALSTION made a number of brave concessions such as giving away territories to Haense & the Dwarves, conceding faculties of governance, and tactfully displaying humility to gain favor with foreign powers. If - GOD forbid - the Rebel army reaches the gates of our city, our ruler will be able to sell more land & influence in our country (of which he has much, worry not) so that foreign armies can come save us. OUR CULTURE is utterly humiliating for the rebellious Adrians! Like the old Empire which Aaun succeeds, our country safeguards concepts such as liberty and democracy which have been sadly lost to our neighbors. With these values, our LORD CHARLES ALSTION brings us the freedom to enjoy relations between men & men, women & women, and dress however we please. Many courtiers have been wonderfully amused by Lord Alstion’s pastime of crossdressing, gallivanting about his palace in the manner of a noble lady. The DUKE OF MINITZ has happily taken up this piece of libertine Alstion culture, instituting crossdressing for private events in his court. Earlier this week, the Duke’s soldiers brought a captured rebel to the stronghold of Minitz. At pain of death, the cowardly & outnumbered Renato-Adrian was forced to join with the court in their newly-adopted practice, donning a lady’s costume for the Duke’s pleasure. Once finished, the man was released and sent home to Velec, where he surely will not dare to take up arms against the Loyalist army. CLASSIFIEDS LOST HEN - Rebel patrol scared off my prized hen. Beak is marked with blue paint. Send word to Henry in West Townsend. HAESENI PICKLES FOUND - Barrel of Haeseni pickles found in cellar. Selling at one Mina for five at market. MIRACLE IN NECTAR - A statue of the holy infant has been seen weeping tears of sweet nectar. SEEKING PASSAGE - Looking for a ship to get out of the Heartlands. Will pay more than usual fare. Waiting at city docks - Marius Murdoch. WORD OF CAUTION - Rebel cavalry seen on the south bank of the Petra. Take care. Comments? Suggestions? Write to our publishing house. Submit classifieds with one Mina; add one more for priority. - THE AAUNIC PRESS - Edited March 25, 2023 by The Aaunic Times 23 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asutto 1947 Share Posted March 25, 2023 A loyal Adrian rates the Aaunic Times ten out of ten! 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryanark 1924 Share Posted March 25, 2023 Martijn bought several copies. 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creator_Alan 232 Share Posted March 25, 2023 "I knew unbiased, objective journalism was not dead." Arthur nodded in fierce agreement with the publication 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frymark 2792 Share Posted March 25, 2023 "We're so back." Smiled Henry as his hen was finally returned to him. 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beamon4 1646 Share Posted March 25, 2023 “The continued publication of the Aaunic press must be affirmed” Heinrik said with a stern nod as he read it from a campfire near the burning ruins of Fort Felder 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fie 2519 Share Posted March 25, 2023 "I LOVE reading the Aaunic Times," says Wilhelmina, who got a good laugh out of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xarkly 12583 Share Posted March 25, 2023 Vanhart thought the Adrians were a little too obvious about it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts