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The Apology of an Ibleesian Cultist


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[!] Yet more halfling propaganda enters your aviary mailbox

The Cult Fails Again!

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~Victory with little bloodshed! A lovely thing to be had~

Once again, the iblees-worshipping cultists tried to kidnap, loot, and destroy us innocent halflings of Bywater! Once again, they have failed! Three big-folk cultists in black armor rode into the shire, seeking to catch us off guard. However, when the other halflings and adventurers came back to the Village Hall, two of the cultists ran for the hillside, abandoning the third to his fate!

 

In a display of cowardice, the last cultist grabbed a nearby halfling to serve as a hostage to negociate his freedom (poor Alculf!). He was cornered, beaten back, and his captive freed with no casualties to speak of! Once defeated, he groveled and begged for our mercy. He was revealed to be but a child, nay older than fifteen to sixteen or so, wearing a warrior's armor (such a shame that the cultists resort to Child Soldiers!). He broke down into tears and begged for forgiveness. This forgiveness was granted to him by the all-merciful halfling state. Although he threatened to kill poor ol' Alculf, he is now sorry (or so he claims) for what he's done. He wrote this apology to us:
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If he is found in Bywater again, we will not be so merciful! Knox rewards those who keep promises!

~Mimosa Applefoot,

Mayor of Bywater.

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"These halflings are paragons of virtue. Some people could learn a lot from them." Father Petyr speaks to himself, before shuddering as he remembered that one fateful day.

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"Should 'ave shoveled 'is fecking 'ead in" Rosebud mutters while reading it, hearing Father Petyr say this next to her in the town square, "Uh roigh't, virtue, mercy, paragons, wo' 'e said..."

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"'E didn't expect to see a halflin' coming did 'e? he writes with his left hand as his right arm throbs with pain. "'e go' a lucky 'it on meh arm... I knew 'e was a kid... good ting 'e didn't slit meh throat or worse.." ponders about an alternate timeline.

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Doder looks over the good news and cheers. "Oi always knew Knox would protect this small, tight-knit shire. Or at leas', we would save each other." Doder goes back to tending to his livestock.

 

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