[✓] [Creature lore] Mana Mice: The pests you always wanted

[MokoMochi 422]

i want the mana mice friends they are friend shape

[Amayonnaise 1535]

That art is horrifying. But good luck!

[Ireneically 248]

NEW FRIENDS

[Creete 408]

16 minutes ago, Amayonnaise said:

That art is horrifying. But good luck!

 

WHAT? THEY ARE SO CUTE???

[Laeonathan 3925]

YISAR FOOD LORE +1

[Creete 408]

4 minutes ago, Laeonathan said:

YISAR FOOD LORE +1

 

STOP TRYING TO EAT MY MANA MICE. AHHHH.

[Smaw 2368]

+1 if you add Void Rats and Spirit Frogs.

[Lord_of_losers 950]

can i put them on my head under a hat and become better at cooking

[Mr. Etan 2839]

Some real RAT posting here.

[LoTC's Next Top Model 713]

i like it

[Northtitan 245]

6 hours ago, Lord_of_losers said:

can i put them on my head under a hat and become better at cooking

Yes

 

[Crevel 4727]

While I think that it's definitely an interesting concept, I feel like it was partially written with the intent to create a rascal of an animal that they can tame and troll with which inclines me to -1.

 

- No natural predators

- Travels in groups

- Steals small items and trinkets

- Will teleport away with prized treasure if threatened (travel in groups so that's more than one)

- Can glide away

- Can hide in small and narrow areas

- Bite isn't strong but their teeth are strong enough to chew through materials up to ferrum strength (meaning it can eat up aurum, ferrum obviously, slayersteel, azhl potentially)

- Cannot be used to metagame enchanted objects, but if the person controlling the mana mouse believes that it's probably magical, it's fine for the mana mouse to try snatching / eating it?

- Presumably cannot have its own mana harvested in any way because there is nothing that describes how it works even though the creature would be the epitome of a mana-harvestable animal

 

I think that this creature, as it is currently written, is better suited for strict Story Team use only to add to event regions or to their own events as flair and to potentially indicate to their players during the event that something magical is lurking nearby. I definitely see this being abused if it's a creature that is tameable by everyone. Before writing powergamey descriptions saying that it can eat through hard metal, consider the lore that already exists and how the lore you are writing can be written to add to something else rather than being its own thing. There is already lore for a Mana-Weave Bug which would be considered much more reasonable prey for a Mana Mouse and could be used to justify why they evolved to have abnormally strong teeth (to pierce the chitin casing and consume the liquid mana) but you would still want to keep this within reason.

[Northtitan 245]

@CrevelThank you for the feedback, looking through what you said some points make sense to me, ill have to re-edit some things. This creature isnt meant to be used by people to steal things or troll other people, meant to be a natural pest, and while there are 'no natural predators' thats not to say it many things that would eat small rodents wont try to kill/ eat it, which can easily be done. We can rewrite some things to make it clear the intent behind this creature. perhaps add a redline or two, i hope that it can be a small creature that adds some flair that people can have as a pet, but i dont wish for it to be used to steal, destory, etc, abused by people.

[CombatRolePlay 1708]

Reading the lore, I don't really see any issues with it. Redlines seem to cover any "Um ackhtually" situations that might pop up.
+1

[CombatRolePlay 1708]

also please add to lore where they hop on your head, pull your hair to control you like a mech and makes you a better mage.. (obviously joking)