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[NEWS] 【✧ KAKTUZ WEEKLI ISSUE VI ✧】


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Bundles of newspapers would be spread throughout Almaris for all to see. While written  vividly upon dense sheets of... mediocre parchment? Anyways, pages of blocky script seem less formatted and many illustrations are absent! The floral berry smell of jungle inks wafts pleasantly from each heavy page. This must be...

【♢ -♢- ♢】

 

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THE KAKTUZ WEEKLI
Issue H'azh (VI), 226 S.A.


[[ Due to Waghtik Damages agh Complications the Kaktuz Weekli is experiencing delays. Zoggyng Mori bug worshippers. Sieges make it difficult to spend time writing articles!]]

ORCISH AFFAIRS - The Clan Moot: A New Iron Horde!

Kor’garr is delighted to announce that the Iron Horde has entered a new era, that of a Confederacy of the clans with our Rex Ar-Borok’Akaal acting as tiebreaker rather than the Rexdom of years past! Now all honorable lineages of Krugs descendants have a voice in the path our nation will follow. As a brief explanation, government leaders are given Ashtkaar, blessed icons that show proof of their authority. The Rex and leaders of Clans use these Ashtkaar to show their approval and support for decisions, called Claims, presented to the Clan council during Klamors. Klamors are official gatherings of the clans announced with at least azh cactus day of notice. With more members of leadership in their ranks, a Clan has greater say in how the Iron Horde is run. The Rex, of course, is independent of the Clans and has III counts upon their Ashtkaar to prevent draws.

Already the Clan Moot has added the Clans of Raguk, Yar, agh Ixtzul to our ranks of Recognized lineages in the Horde. Many changes and decisions have proceeded smoothly, agh Kor’garr is glad even the older elders like Murdok’Lak agh Madoc’Lur approve of this new type of leadership. As Ar-Borok’Akaal wrote in the public declaration “A New Horde”:

 

The Iron Horde is not a Rexdom like the Wagh Nation of ages past, and from now on our ancestors in the Stargush will watch their descendants speak freely for the sake of their Clans instead of a single ruler.

ORC KULTURE - Grog agh Grub
On the Krugmarian Delicacy of Fresh High Albai

 

Krugmar culinary tradition states that Elven meat, specifically High Elven meat, is a delicacy, and for a number of reasons. First is due to the intense tenderness and supple softness compared to any other meat no matter the age or cooking method: the Elven blessing of immortality prevents repeated strain and stiffening other meats go through as a living being grows and matures. Much like Veal, except you can have the taste and size of a mature Twiggie while also keeping the tenderness. Similarly palatial diets and court lifestyles generally develop fruity undertones and healthier layers of fat compared to other descendants of Malin, which makes a wonderful choice for sweeter cuts and recipes akin to bacon or pork belly. This sort of Umami is very rare to the harshly spiced and generally savory orcish diet, hence the fascination with High Elven ingredients in dishes!

 

The other main reason is simple: history and supply. High Albai live mojo infused lifestyles and thus have richer mojo reserves than most others, another secret to their wonderful taste and a frequent temptation towards Burz-mojo Void usage. As orcs are obligated to purge such practices for the Spirits, High elves and Krug's kind have fought frequently… meaning the opportunity to partake in such exquisite meals remains consistent to this day.

 

So what dishes are commonly made with High Albai, lat might ask Kor'garr? Everything from the Raw Orcish Delight mentioned in previous articles to choice cuts of perfectly seared Highsteak (soft and wonderfully marbled)! Twikkon is a common dawnlit snack on expeditions or in the blarg, being thin strips cooked with oil over an open flame… Quite similar to the Zhara's pork bacon. And of course there are the famous Mysteri Stew amd Kruga Kola, the dubt being said Stew aged for ag decade with cinnamon and vanilla to produce a sizzling, sparkly beverage enjoyed around Almaris.

 

Most if not all of these recipes are available from the Betharuz Tavern, and fresh ingredients can be sold to the Horde for a hefty sum! 


ORC KULTURE - Olog of the Week

 

This week Kor'garr is proud to present to lat ag special interview… Azh with a legend, the Olog known as Drekur'Ungri! We covered an old story of his that few remember but all deserve to hear again. Also, Drekur is the pinnacle of his kind in age, size, agh intelligence. Most Ologs would be… Nub'hozh conversation partners. This particular meeting starts with the Olog introducing himself. Please note this is translated to Common with grammar added for ease of reading.

DREKUR: “[Mi] is Aengul slayer, first son of the Maw! Uniter of the Ologs! Lat have questions to say to me?”

Kor’garr: “Kor’garr always has questions… How did lat slay an Aengul anyways? Punch it really hard?”

DREKUR, after laughing: “Aengul slayer will tell lat tale! It all started in War on Arcas! Orcs! Humans! Dwarves! Agh elves! United against the Inferi! Inferi came from a portal on the desert of Al-faiz! Many many demons! More than even a Horde of Ologs could Klomp at once! Quickly the Inferi hordes came, took city of Farfolk like it was nothing! Desert fell quickly to Inferi!”

Kor’garr: “More than the Great Wagh? Excellent time for fighting then.”

DREKUR: “Larger than even the Horde could Wagh! They warred and warred, until even the city of wood elves fell! They reached the mainland then.” *The Olog takes a massive drink of Grog here. “Around this time, children of Brev arrived! Told mi, Drekur’Ungri, and the goblin Murdok’Lak of a great Titan Spear of their father Brev! Weapon able to make gods mortal.”

Kor’garr: “Yub, always wondered what that looked like… Lat remember it still?”

DREKUR: “BAH! Nothing was special when we found it! Just very big! Soon, Orcs fought all over the Al-Faiz desert! Mi and the Ungri Clan were bulwark of the army! Slaughtered many Inferi agh soon faced the Aengul, Gazadriel!”


Kor’garr: “The greatest of fights… Enrohk [the spirit of War and Bloodlust] would be proud.”

DREKUR: “Ungri did not even worship the Maw back then… Foolishness, yub! But doesn’t matter! When Gazadriel was in range! Murdok’Lak agh Drekur’Ungri shot the Spear of Brev into Gazadriel, making the angel mortal, and fatally wounding it!

Kor’garr: “Shot it? As in, using a longbow?”


DREKUR: “Ballista, yub! Flatted the Aengul really hozh! Making mi agh Murdok’Lak aengul slayers!”

Kor’garr: “Thank lat for the wonderful history, friend. Lat is definitely Olog of the Week.”

 

End of Article

 


Miscellaneous

BOUNTIES OPEN
Kor’garr presents to lat the Bounty section, a place where lat can bird the Kaktuz Weekli with information on people agh beasts lat want vlat… or alive. If deemed worthy, The Iron Horde or Kaktuz Weekli might decide to match a bounty price in up to 300 minas! Nub worry, Anonymity is accepted for those sending in bounties as well as those who bring in the offending ‘owtlaws’. Heads are generally preferred as proof of the request being completed.


SUPPLIES WANTED

Also, Kor’garr is peeping for Alkemists. The details are attached here.


[!] The Missive is crudely attached... [!]


FINAL NOTES
As Lat Kan peep, The Kaktuz Weekli is hiring Artiztz agh Formatters! Nub experienze Needyd!

STAFF

 

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Spoiler

OOCLY, I know this issue is VERY SMALL! Been busy with Prebuild and Map end. Future issues will have a lot more detail!

 

 

 

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A blood curdeling roar left the great Aengul Slayer, Popogoth Drekür'Ungri, followed by a earth rumbling laughter as the beast his goblin clansmen read to him his paper. "HARR HARR! OLoOOog Ob WEEK! olOog OoB ETERNITI!" 

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Gharak'Yar read the newspaper as soon as she received it.
She couldn't supress her smile while reading through Drekur's interview.
"Heh, hi kan be hozh zometikz…"

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The Tribune writer hopes to meet the Kaktuz Weekli writer one day... nonetheless, her head bobs and a copy is tucked away into her  personal stash.

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