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To Do Unjolly Things


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TO DO UNJOLLY THINGS

Issued Today (We lost our calendar.)



TO THE SUBJECTS OF MINAS AMATH,

 

    Dire is the news of the day. As has become known to we inhabitants of beautiful Failor, the men of Redclyf are alleged to have slain and consumed the flesh of infants, and to have as well menaced women whose children are yet unborn. And most troublingly, these savages dwell not in the far off corners of this land, but just beyond our eastern border. Needless to say, this looming shadow cannot be permitted to grow and fester. Already, the Norlanders – though they may yet refuse the mercy of our GOD Most Glorious – rally to the cause of righteousness. Let us march with them, Righteous Men of Minas Amath, to secure our border against these barbarians most wicked! May these Men of Darkness come to fear the blinding righteousness of the White Flame of GOD, the Retribution of the Archangel Michael, and the austere, blessed penance of the ‘T’!

 

AURË ENTULUVA!

DEATH TO THE BABY-EATERS!

BARBARORUM DELENDA EST!

Signed,

HER ROYAL MAJESTY, Caraneth Aryantë Arthalion, Princess of Minas Amath, Harrenite Warlord


 

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"The beacons have been lit." High Keeper Ellenore reads over the missive.

 

Spoiler

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"Sometimes a jolly man must do unjolly things." Says the elder Harrenite Warlord, adorned in the Crown of the Barrowlands and a Hawaiian t-shirt upon the banks of the Great Sea, pina colada in one hand, carbarum broadsword in the other.

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junkfoodcinemas: Starship Troopers (1997) dir....

 

"AURË ENTULUVA!" The Knight of Minas Amath gives a shout, already donning his war gear over his Hawaiian shirt and tightening his flip-flops.

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THWAK!
THWAK!
THWAK!
A
meek elvish boy sings merrily in the woods. He chops the skinny trees, he tenderly shaves them of their skin, he shapes them and creates grooves, he wipes them with oil of camphor to make them fragrant and sturdy... 


"𝔒𝔳𝔳𝔶𝔫 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔰 𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 ℑ 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 - 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔠𝔯𝔬-𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔪𝔢 𝔰𝔬~..!"

He lashes them and nails them, and with his frail strength and the strength of his fellow children, pulls the first of many crucifixes high into the heavens. Cursed is the one who is remiss in doing the work of the LORD.

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Vykk is saddened to hear that war has once again come to Norland
 

Spoiler

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Vykk is unsaddened to hear it is against Redclyff
 

Spoiler

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Anastasia de Viatge, formerly Ingrid Freyja Kolsson rubbed her temples as she picked up berries from around the camp of the Holy Oren Empire, which for some reason everyone calls Redclyf. 

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"Kameraden! Ready your swords! We march with our fellow man to slay the enemies of GOTT!" Yvian cried to his knight brethren, for it was time for a most righteous crusade.

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