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Edition #36

 

Breaking news! New study shows dwarf on dwarf violence is on the decline? Clan Goldhand lives? Wood elf wedding in Heffrum?!! Frostbeard Goods stock tanked at the latest Urguan stock exchange!!!

 

This is the last stonemonth's news recapped by your favourite intern and reporter Hakkon Irongrinder. 

 

A recent study shows that since the crowning of Grand King Ulfar Starbreaker accended the throne, violence against other dwarves have plummeted to record lows. With the abscence of Torsun Blackhand and other notable murders/thugs Urguanites can rest safe knowing that they are not at risk of being kinslayed.

 

Tho some critics dispute the legitimacy of the study as many slain dwarves are labeled as traitors, darkspawn or heretics. But we on the DNN must say that no patriot disputes this study. 

 

In other news. After the tragic death of Dannika Goldhand Ireheart Silverbraid, many believed that Elder Clan Goldhand was dead tho strangely enough a man known as Bromdor Goldhand has claimed the title of Clan Lord.

 

We can only hope that the clan survives and no more honour duels or kinslaying puts the true blood of Tungdil too rest. 

 

It was reported two wood elves by the name of Dravlino and Samuel were wed in Heffrum. Many asked me how low the Kingdom has fallen to allow such tragic displays to be public. A witness to the disaster gave me this statement. "Oi 'ate elgher." They then refused to elaborate on that statement. 

 

The Frostbeard goods have been in a rapid decline since a merger between Grungot's bad equipment and Bragi's shoite stuff. The merger has not yielded any new revenue nor was any items patriotic towards our history as the goods glorified Kaz'Ulrah which is complete contradiction to what the scrolls say. The scrolls tell every educated dwarf how Honour clan Irongrinder defeated the uneducated through the power of the Rhun and Zahrer himself.  

 

This has been the news from yours truly Hakkon Irongrinder, reporter and unpaid intern at the DNN. 

 

We take a moment to thank our sponsor Gotrek Industries.

 

You may request a news story or interview through mail or use of discordian magics. 

 

Patriotic an proud news letter of Urguan! Aruuu en thu da news!

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Ragram sat comfortably in his study, sipping on a mug of Herbal Hefrumm Mead™, enjoying a rare moment of peace. As he flipped through the pages of the latest news, his calm demeanor shattered. A spray of mead splattered across the paper as he nearly choked at the absurdity before him.

"ARE THEY OUT OF THEIR MINDS?!" he roared, slamming the newspaper down, his voice a thunderous growl "CALLING THEM PEACEFUL? THEY’RE BLOODY KINSLAYERS!" His fury echoed through the room as the words on the page seemed to mock his fallen friend

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The Grand King sets the stone tablet down onto his table as he reads the latest news of the Grand Kingdom.

 

A tankard of Irongrinder Coffee then set down beside him. He thanks the helpers.

 

"Wots new todeh.." he asks as he begins to read.

 

 

Suddenly, the Grand King spits out his coffee is surprise as his eyes read over an Elven wedding within dwarven lands. 

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Aerrund read over the newest news report, sitting in his chair outside the Mountain Brews Brewery, overlooking his kids childlabouring away at the taterfields. He gave a good chuckle at some of the news though seemed progressively more confused.
"Nae news on de return o' Fathah Alaric, nae news on de weddin' o' de 'igh chief an' naethin' even as much as mentionin' de cullin' o' de necromancer wifin Urguan? Verreh well, de news are nae alwaes up tae speed et seems."

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