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075

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  1. 075

    075null

    Note: The first part strictly talks about her parents and the general family dynamic, the second part talks about Axenia. Tl;Dr : Axenia had parents that tried their best to raise their children, but in the end, had a toxic way of doing so. Axenia grew up thinking she was weak, so she constantly tried to prove to the world that she is capable ( subconsciously trying to prove her self-worth )... Spoiler: It never worked When she was 16 she ran away from home, trying to prove to her family that she can survive on her own. As a response, her family disowned her. Being on her own, she started doing criminal activities to survive. While alone, she discovered that sometimes, she would see hellish creatures lurking in the dark, looking as if they would strike at any moment... Spoiler: It was her imagination/mind That state of mind only got worse whenever she panicked, was generally scared, or simply alone. She managed to control these episodes by simplying writing and calming herself down. She got hired by a nobel family to be a servant, but when she turned 18 she left the job in search for a new thrill. FIRST PART ------------------------------------------ Axenia was born in the rural region/the hinterlands of The Kingdom of Haense. Her parents are mixed-blood of Haeseni and Raevir, being part of the Vezuchet class. Her mother was Resthana Zamfir, and her father was Arkanos Zamfir. They were incredibly intelligent people, both of them sharing the same open-mined/nontraditional beliefs. Resthana and Arkanos in their youth decided to leave home and travel to the world to discover more about what surrounds them. When they returned to Haeseni, they decided to start a family. Neither of them wanted their entire lives to be just about farming, so they decided to make a living by raiding h Axenia was born in the rural region/the hinterlands of The Kingdom of Haense. Her parents are mixed-blood of Haeseni and Raevir, being part of the Vezuchet class. Her mother was Resthana Zamfir, and her father was Arkanos Zamfir. They were incredibly intelligent people, both of them sharing the same open-mined/nontraditional beliefs. They both considered the general state of the kingdom as being "unorganized" and "archaic" because of the general lack of stability in the government. They saw no life opportunity in farming, or just generally living sedentary, so in their youth, Axenia's parents left their home village ( against their families wishes ) to travel the world ( with what little money they had ) to learn about what surrounds them. They gained a lot of information about all sorts of cultures and opinions. When they returned at the age of 28, they decided to start a family. Knowing they wouldn't be able to survive without land/a farm, they devised a plan. First, they found an old village, that was now just occupied by elderly people, and convinced them to give them some land. In return, they would bring to the village financial aid and help them on their own farms. The village agreed and gave them the land of a deceased man (even though it was very taboo). Next, they needed to make money. Neither of them actually wanted to base their entire lives on farming, so they decided to do something better. Every two months they would raid several houses, mostly nobility but also the houses in other distant villages. They would mainly grab valuable items, such as books, (money itself) mina, paintings, and asherns ( the urns used to deposit the ashes of a dead relative ). After the raids, they would leave for one month to sell these goods in other places. They would return home, stay one month, and repeat. But to pull off such a complicated plan, they would need some help in the long-term. They wanted children, and also needed more hands around to help, but because childbirth would only slow things down, they decided to do the next logical thing and "adopt" several 5 month-olds from different villages. The first to be " adopted " were two siblings. Resthana and Arkanos stayed with them for about a month, befor leaving them in the care of the villagers to go perfom some raids. This process of going to raids and returning to " adopt " more children took a few months, until they had 8 children. Their parenting style was... controversial, to say the least. When all of the children were old enough to talk and think, they started to rigorously teach them. They showed them all the aspects of the world around them. Although what they taught their children was unorthodox ( such as the horrors of war and failure at only 4 years old ) they still taught them about basic aspects of the Haensei people. One proverb that they constantly reminded their children was “I would have perished had I not persisted.”. They believed that if you didn't work hard enough, and didn't persist in anything that you did, you failed life. If you don't strive to do everything perfectly, then why try at all? They never sent their children to school, because to do so, they would have needed to be close to home constantly. Instead, whenever they left home to raid and make money, they left their children in the care of the villagers. The villagers also taught them different opinions and ways of life. In return, the children would help them on their farms. The elderly people of the village, even though forgotten by their grandkids and kids, had stories and opinions. They had information that only someone who had lived life could tell. They taught the kids about compassion, forgiveness, and other such qualities. They read stories, mostly the Trials of Ulric Tibetan, while also teaching them how to read and write. The children also got to learn a variety of subjects from the items that their parents got from the raids. Although those items never remained in their possession ( because in the end they would be sold off ), the information that they held was kept. When they became old enough, the children even started to assist their parents in their raids. They formed groups, and each group would assist their parents in their raids and when selling the goods. Resthana and Arkanos weren't inherently bad. They tried their best to teach their kids all sorts of things, such as religion, diversity, acceptance, and so on. But the way they did so was questionable. They always gaslit their children into thinking that if they ever did anything "wrong", then they have failed their life and purpose and that they were the fault of whatever mistake they did. They taught their children that their self-worth was solely based on how well you can perform in life. It would be unfair to classify them as "bad parents" If you consider that two parents, abandoned by their own families, who try their best to raise their children in a way that they will become happy in life are good, then those parents are good. If you consider that two parents, who gaslight their children into believing whatever they believe and use them for their cheap criminal labor are bad, then those parents are bad. SECOND PART ------------------------------------------ Throughout her childhood, Axenia lived in wretched conditions. But that didn't stop her thirst for knowledge. Axenia was fascinated by a lot of things. She enjoyed reading about music, poetry, and even philosophy. She learned quite a few things, just by coming in contact with the variety of books and valuable items from the raids. For someone who hasn't even stepped into a school, you could say that she was quite cultured. But as the years passed, she started to realize what was going on around her. Because she was the runt of the litter, she was always expected to keep up with the rest of her siblings to even be considered " an asset to the family ". Axenia grew up thinking she was weak, so she constantly tried to prove to the world that she is capable ( subconsciously trying to prove her self-worth ). Most of the time it would fail. Constantly feeling guilty for being herself, she kept trying to change and become "better" in everyone's eyes. Soon, guilt turned to anger and frustration Angry at herself, her family, and everyone else around her. Frustrated for she knew she would never be able to become something great in this short existence. Her entire family tried to be supportive, but she always had the impression they were faking it. This constant state of anger and frustration continued until she was 16. At that point, she had enough and she ran away from home, trying to prove to her family that she can survive on her own. As a response, her family disowned her. Every day she struggled to survive. Pickpocketing, tricking, and other general criminal activities are what kept her alive. At that point she started to notice odd things occurring, she always felt as if she was being watched. Odd movement in the shadows was also common. These things only intensified as things got worse for her. Horrific monsters would appear in and out of reality. She found that writing things down helps a lot, and using logic and general reasoning, she managed to control these episodes. After about a year, she managed to get a job at a noble's house as a servant in The Holy Orinian Empire. There she learned somethings that her parents never taught her, such as doublespeak and diplomacy. While working for that family, she had food, housing, and safety. She could theoretically say that she reached the "peak of success", but she didn't feel fulfilled. In fact, she felt quite miserable. She did have everything she ever needed, but she missed the thrill of wandering the streets. She was getting quite bored, life had become dull. When she became 18, she left the job, in search of a new thrill. She knew what she wanted, she wanted the thrill of being alive, she wanted to be strong and independent... but she had no clue how to get there. Now, she wonders around the land, looking for new opportunities, while also just having fun. Things that I had to idea how to fit in but are rather important: - Her parents never forced Axenia or her siblings to follow certain traditions or beliefs, and especially not religion. They explained these concepts and allowed the children to choose for themselves. In the case of Axenia, she never found the use/purpose of religion, believing it was " a way to cope with the inevitable death " so at 16 she officially became an apostate. -She was the runt of the litter because she had a hard time understanding/doing certain things. She was much slower/weaker than her siblings, so she'd often get into fights with them, especially her older siblings. -In her childhood, she never got to just " be a kid ". Because of her under-performance, she always strived to do more so she just forgot/ignored the joys of being a kid ( and her parents encouraged such behavior ). Now, because of this, she is very childish and careless ( this is a way that her traumas/frustrations manifest in her present self ) -The general motif of her backstory is "not fitting in" and " identity loss " ( because she always attempted to become better, she never truly found out who she was. This has a huge impact on who she is as an individual now ) -When she was a teenager, she would often go out hunting to let her anger out. The way she hunted small animals was inhumane, to say the least. ( i.e using her bare hands to beat a rabbit to death in the most gruesome way possible). Did she enjoy doing that to innocent creatures? Maybe. But what is certain is the fact that because of this unhealthy way to deal with anger, she now has extremely violent outbursts whenever she is bothered by the slightest thing. -Generally, she was a very artistic kid growing up, always drawing or writing. Her favorite thing to do was carve a wooden mask for Barovifest. To this day she has a fox mask that she carries around. ( OOC: It can be seen on the first skin of the screenshot. The mask itself is on the second layer of the skin, so I can enable and disable it from the ingame skin settings ) -Because of obvious childhood traumas, she doesn't trust or listen to authority figures. But once they have proven worthy in Axenia's eyes, she'll listen, no questions asked. -In her childhood, her parents taught her to always question the world around her. -She never had/has an interest in forming any sort of romantic relationship. More personality details because I have no self-control: -Annoying. She likes to be annoying. ( That's because of yet another trauma. Although she wanted to be strong and noticed by her family, she always knew that they were judging her, so this small trauma manifested nowadays into a subconscious fear of being rejected. So, in retaliation, she thinks that if she acts annoying/childish, people won't pay attention to her, so they won't judge her that much.) -Childish -Aggressive -( sometimes ) cowardly ( not facing her own fears, all of that stuff ) -( extremely ) Self-conscious -Having the bad habit of thinking that if she shows any weakness, she'll fail. -Socially awkward -Being distracted ( 45% of the time ) -Persistent in anything/everything
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