My initial tenure on the team was a great learning experience for me. I got to familiarize myself with spigot and toy with its limits whilst having Tofuus as an extremely supportive person. It was a great experience and I got to produce two plugins for LotC in the span of three months. I decided to step down when IRL obligations hit me and I didn't want to be one of those people who kept a position whilst not doing anything.
It went downhill when I decided to return. Some individuals took it upon themselves to **** on my name. My worth was ultimately based on who I decided to be friends with. Some stupid notion that I lack motivation spread like wildfire because I decided to be self-aware and step down from coder because I didn't want to keep my privileges if I wasn't going to do the work due to other commitments. However, it now seems that the administration likes to reward people who keep positions and do no work. So that's my mistake.
I also came back to an Administrator spreading rumors with the intent to discredit me. Apparently I created the Hookah dupes on purpose? Honestly **** you to anyone who believes that. I was extremely new to the API at the time. I had only been experimenting with Spigot for 3 months by the time I completed Hookah. To anyone with any experience with the API its pretty clear that the dupe is nothing but a rookie mistake. That didn't stop this rumor to spread and once again **** on my name.
Despite all this my ambitions and motivations are rooted in the player base, so I overlooked the shitty leadership. I proposed my cosmetic magic plugin idea. The funny part to me is that everyone on staff told me I'd get a shitty response from the community. In reality, the only uproar of negativity I received was from the staff and the administration telling me that the player base would lynch me. It goes to show how disconnected you are from your community. All they want is to be respected enough to be included in the development process of the server they so adamantly care about.
Again, despite all this I continued to try to produce something I thought would be positive for the community. Although I was dedicating 4-5 hours a day to my project, I was still battered by staff with comments about my alleged lack of motivation. After a month of this I found out the administrator who was supposedly supporting me was going behind my back and telling people that I wasn't going to finish the plugin and that I had a history of demotivation???
In the end, what killed my motivation was the shitty negative development environment I've had to work in. I couldn't get the gnawing thought out of my head that these people being so negative are the same people who are gonna be using my plugin to inflate their egos on staff. These power-hungry ego-driven staff members who will flaunt their access to the magic plugin to somehow feel superior to the player base. I'm tired of this. I'm exhausted of all of it. I really am.
This brings me to the point of this entire thing. I was offered a sizable monetary compensation to move my project and my development time to another server. I thought about it for a while. I loved LotC, I was practically raised in this community. However it's come to a point where I don't think LotC is LotC anymore. It's a shadow of its former self and I'm losing the drive to fight for what it used to be.
I never asked for anything. I gave my time to the server because I wanted it to be a better experience for players. I don't have pex. I barely have access to anything as a coder right now. And that doesn't matter to me. All I wanted was to be given the decency of some respect for the time I decided to contribute to this server. I'm going to move on and hopefully have a chance to progress in a more positive environment.
My only regret is letting down @FlamboyantRage. He's shown nothing but promise to me since he first became an administrator. He has great ideas and ambitions. I'm sorry I didn't get to make this plugin for you.