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monkey poacher

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About monkey poacher

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  • Birthday 01/01/2018

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    Fatty Peach Dog
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  1. hey buddy status updates are bugged so that I can’t reply to them if someone posts an embedded youtube video but hope you’re having fun on the lord of the craft roleplay server love you x 

    1. NotEvilAtAll


      Yeah replies to status updates are kinda janky sometimes.


      I’d suggest making this a bug report tho

    2. VonAulus


      You answered my question. If you dislike lotc so much and enjoy another roleplay server, maybe you should put your energy into that. Your toxic obsession with complaining can not be healthy. If you do not like the direction of LotC you can always stop coming here. If you can not come up with more reasons you like LotC over all the things you hate, maybe it is just not for you. 

  2. it’s wild to remember that screamingdingo used to be sort of cool

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. ScreamingDingo


      Me vs loser banned player @monkey poacher



    3. VonAulus


      Honest question, are you capable of saying anything that is not a complaint?

    4. monkey poacher

      monkey poacher

      are you capable of making a decision that doesn’t harm player retention grool


      I literally only come on here when someone lets me know about the latest in a string of disastrous editorial decisions by lord of the craft’s highly-vetted professional staff team. You guys suck, you’re hated and feared by 90% of the community, and Dewper made a better role-play server than you. I’ll banter with you guys and play nice but don’t whinge about “complaints” you get from your unforced errors. People have typed their fingers raw trying to explain why what you’re doing is destructive and pointless and unfair, and you didn’t bother listening to them. 


      Do some serious introspection before wasting precious seconds of your time trying to clap back at me; it doesn’t make you look cool or make me look stupid or whatever it is you’re going for, it just makes you look sad. xoxo

  3. I get that removing small niches is telanir’s 200iq silicon valley brain genius idea to improve player retention but it’s also really, deeply gay. Nobody cares that the Snow Elves’ origin lore was “ham-fisted.” People complained about this six years ago. Snow elves survived multiple attempts to remove their race through role-play and drove multiple massive player wars, developing a rich history through roleplay that easily overshadows their origin story. Their existence was an uphill battle and they earned the right to be a part of LoTC’s canon. Not as a “culture,” which is something inactive Lore Team members have been suggesting since 2014, but as a player race. This decision pisses in the face of anyone who’s role-played on this server before 2020. Truly disgraceful. Snow Elves are inseparable from LoTC’s player-written history, and unironically more compelling and well-written than any half-baked plagiaristic CA race the story team could fart out. I just hope that the powers that be on this server make life as hard for whatever race the ST comes up with next as it was for the ‘fenn. It’s only fair. P.S. remove “heartlander” and “highlander.” There was never any lore written to generate these distinctions, Telanir invented them out of whole cloth for his Nexus plugin. “Highlanders” don’t exist, either as a culture or a subrace, and their only purpose is to let Haense con new players into believing that they hate Oren. P.P.S. The fact that people have incorporated the nonsense words “heartlander” and “highlander” into their role-play is proof that subrace tags are deeply important for role-play. They are the first thing that players see when they join and are able to Lathe of Heaven political, cultural, and racial conflicts onto the server. You can’t say “nothing changes” while removing the Snow Elf tag and have it be anything more than a smug misdirection.
  4. lol at the gm searching through my post history to give me warns. I'm perma’d already dude don't waste your time

  5. lol at least it's something. better to have an eventline than not have one, and when the entire purpose (I'm assuming) is to change to a new map, you should give the ST some creative liberties. sometimes you have to accept a setback (whether or not it could have happened in your imagination) to allow the story to continue. As someone who roleplayed there for months, Vira’ker is connected to land by a bridge that's like maybe 20 meters (blocks) across, over a shallow sand bank. you couldn't “blockade” it, and based on the dynmap it doesn't look like there's anything blocking them off from walking to the skull. It just seems like Civ logic (boats don't do anything) is fighting against EU4 logic (a single galley in the water near a narrow strait blocks all troop movements through the strait). If you want to roleplay a blockade you should roleplay it, i.e. regular patrols, or you should hash out the rules of engagement with the ST. People saying this is a miscommunication are right. Chat it out.
  6. 200+ years of collective lore writing experience

    1. frill


      200 in cat yrs is 3 years in people years 

  7. the story team needs to remind you that it doesn’t just twiddle its thumbs writing about “planar laws” and **** with the creation lore, it also actively tries to delete your playerbase with made-up lore contrivances!

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. NotEvilAtAll


      Can’t wait for the 8.0 incarnation of Charter Reform when their own land rules don’t cram people together and ruin small communities enough on their own.

    3. SquakHawk


      yes because i just decided “hmm i will snap kha on whim, i do not like them and want them gone, this is out of nowhere and is my decision alone to make”, as did every other st, seemingly

    4. monkey poacher

      monkey poacher

      must be telling on yourself there a little bit bud because I didn’t say that!!


      like all of lotc’s bad decisions, I automatically assumed it was a decision by committee made out of obscure grievances from a small subset of players and/or the perverse glee they get from making random ppl on the internet mad

  8. The Lord Mayor signs his name on the Census Integration and Septic Renovation Acts.
  9. Ves had walls that weren’t high enough and as a result we were attacked constantly by people who parkoured over low sections of wall to bunnyhop over roofs and shoot crossbow bolts at citizens. “get guards” isn’t really a solution, because this is a video game people play in their free time over multiple timezones. “Peak hours” are impossible to define and not everyone can be on the server full-time. Walls are the only tractable way to prevent random deathmatches at 2 in the morning. Also, the activity plugin is programmed to only count people standing inside your region and emoting every few minutes. This means if you’re an active charter but your people happen to wander outside the region to roleplay for a few hours, you lose hours of activity. As an accident of this one plugin’s lazy programming, people have started using walls to corral people inside activity check regions and maximize activity. Walls aren’t even that historically inaccurate, I think most towns in the middle ages had at least minor earthworks and a palisade. There’s a separate issue of LotC’s countrysides having no farms or cottages, because region owners monopolize 100% of the land on the server and staff punish them for having citizens who roleplay out of activity squares.
  10. A crafting system only creates an “economy” as we know it if it forces players to trade for basic needs. Under Nexus you could basically craft anything you’d need for basic roleplay without leveling any professions. In reality if you’re a master blacksmith you can craft a pretty good set of armor, but you might need to hire someone to build you a new door or harvest and prepare food for you to eat. Nexus didn’t acknowledge that, and just let you do basically anything with lvl 1 professions. As a result, Nexus created more of a hierarchy than an economy. If you want an economy you need some degree of interdependence. People have to want to buy something that other players are selling. That something can be RP items (as it is now), PvP gear (as under Nexus), or basic necessities. I think people trading in basic necessities lends itself well to cooperative roleplaying. Trade creates roleplay. If you need bread to survive you’re going to roleplay with the baker, or if he’s selling through an autoshop you at least need to roleplay with someone to get a job. If you’re a medieval fantasy character you should know your village baker and have a trade. Your adventures should involve provisioning and forethought. The fantasy should stay grounded. An ideal roleplay setting would reward large-scale cooperation between players. The most powerful nations shouldn’t just be the largest, but also the most internally cohesive. Bandit characters should be on the brink of starvation and itinerant blood knights should starve to death. I know it sounds sort of bizarre to add starvation and poverty to a fantasy role-play, but hear me out. The problem with having infinite lives and resources means that the stakes for any drama have to be worse than death, which is hard to do, and encourages players to seek OOC retribution for slights that can’t be redressed in character. Player economies spin out (or kill roleplay) when the most profitable thing to do in the economy is sit in a basement. A motive to interact with players is good for role-play, and should be the goal of an economy plugin. Professions alone won’t add that, but a plugin that makes you unable to craft both armor and a door will.
  11. A letter returns to the Livery Speaker. To the esteemed Victor C. Halcourt, Livery Speaker, It is my pleasure to institute the Grain Dole Livery Act, at the request of this city’s fine liverymen. I await receipt of funds from the Imperial Treasury for its execution. All the best, Achille Nicephore, Lord Mayor.
  12. Achille Nicephore falls asleep at his desk, waking up with the missive draped over his head and his pen prodding him in the cheek. He bats his eyes in somnolent confusion, reading it as he savored his mid-afternoon coffee.
  13. Name of the Company Member and of its Owner: Helena Heavy Industries, chaired by Achille Nicephore Full Name of the Livery Candidate: Thaliet Sommers Age of the Livery Candidate: 32 Street Address of the Livery Candidate: 9 Basrid Blvd.
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