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A DANCE WITH DEATH “Manfred would keep the gate open and have a guard,” spoke a person. That struck her ire. Again and again, Laurentina was reminded of how terrible she was at this. She was never born to do this. She was never meant to do this and she did not want to do this. “Well, I am NOT Manfred,” snapped the Lady Arichsdorf, bitter as she often was in the months after her husband’s death. She was not a leader. She was not a leader. She was not a leader. “You are running out of advisors,” spoke the man coldly. Perhaps it did not have the effect he wanted it to have. “Yelling at them might not be exactly what you want to do.” As he turned away and his footsteps faded, a tear fell from her eyes. Laurentina’s gaze turned over to the Cathedral of the faith she had abandoned for love. Was she a fool? Perhaps so, indeed. Not even thirty and ghosts keep haunting her. Her mother, her father, her sisters and brother. Tears began to fall uncontrollably. Noone noticed as the Lady approached the Cathedral. Happier days flashed before her mind. How she missed Catherine, her best friend. How Helton and Henrietta mothered her and how her older sister, Daphne, shone a light upon her. How she shone when she became ruby of the Astercalia. The pride her father felt for her that day still brought a smile to her face. The fluttering she felt within her stomach when her husband kissed her for the first time. And then, a year later, when they stood before Philip III and Anastasia I, who wed them. She experienced love when she held her firstborn, Athelred Heltyn, within her arms. Five more followed, each and every one of them sparked joy in Laurentina whenever she thought of them. Pride washed over her when she thought of the people of Arichsdorf, who used to be so close. Noone noticed as she broke through some doors and moved up the stairs to the clocktower. Was it a sin? Was this the answer? She had never felt so desperate. It clung to her, for hours, days, weeks, months - years even. Inhale. Exhale. “It will be alright.” Laurentina spotted a smile as she walked on ahead. Ghosts of her past visited her, all of which had their dance with death. Family, friends, all those she loved so dearly. They were just out of reach. “Just a step. One step. Stop being a coward, face it - for once.” Inhale. She extended her hand out. “Wait, wait for me! Don’t leave - I am coming!” And as she took that fateful step, the desperation faded and became euphoria. It WILL be alright. I’ll be home with them. Come, dance with me! Laurentina von Arichsdorf (neé Helvets) 1842-1870
