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[!] Some odd twenty years ago, a certain William met his long-term lover, who happened to be an elf. This is when he discovered that elven ears can be "flopped". Being the ultimate troll that he is, he eventually "conducted research" and wrote an "educational book about it. Here are its contents, please enjoy... The Art Of Flopping Ears A Study Of Elven Ears As Written by Ser William Buckfort I write to share my studies with the world, as an educated scholar and philosopher. I have spent over 20 years of my life studying this phenomenon- the flopping of elf ears. All my sources are drawn from first hand experiences, both heavenly and harrowing. [!] Examples of elven ears are sketched here. How To Flop Elf Ears? Flopping ears is a simple task. It may seem complicated or even intimidating at first, but fear not; it is completely safe and natural in most cases. When God created elves, he gifted them with pointy ears, akin to that of some dogs. Long, pointy ears give elves a better sense of directional hearing and puts them on constant alert. Elves are a most primeval race with feral instincts capable of most wild beasts such as wolves or foxes. This helps them survive better in the wilderness- I estimate that an average elf has roughly a 10% higher rate of survival compared to an average human, excluding highlanders who are natural survivalists. How to flop: 1- Approach your elf slowly while calling them to you. “Pspspspsps” is universal, though you can personalize your call. It is a process of trial an error. Test out what your elf responds to. In the case of my main specimen, Arazo, I find “Ararararara” works best. 2- Comfort and reassure your elf. Talk to your elf in a soft and comforting tone, assure them no harm will come their way. Flopping of ears may be a stressful experience for some elves as their ears are sensitive to touch. This is similar to a cat’s belly- the elf’s fight or flight instincts may kick in. For deaf or daft elves, physical touch may be a better alternative; stroke your elf’s scalp and the base of their ears. 3- Flop! Once you’ve approached your elf and they have accepted your presence, it is time to figure out what sort of flop you will use. There are many types of ear-flopping techniques; -Standard Flop The standard flop is the simplest technique. If this is your first time flopping, this should be the one you start with. Simply push the elf’s ears down and swiftly lift your hands back up. -”The Chivalric” Flop, also known as “The Lance” or “The Lancer” flop. This flop is done using your index fingers. Press the tips of your fingers against the tips of the elf’s ears and gently push down, pulling the fingers towards yourself as you release. -The “Bear Trap” flop This should be reserved for more aggressive elves who you fear may snap. Press your palms against the elf’s cheeks and hook your thumbs over the base of the elf’s ear. Maintain eye-contact with the elf and say “I am the alpha elf” in a stern tone as you push their ear down. 4- Treat your elf. Make your elf associate ear flopping with a positive experience. Give your elf a treat that they like. In the case of my primary specimen, I find that Carrion Black works wonders. If your elf is hesitant about being flopped, bribe them with the treat beforehand and flop while they are distracted. Psychology of Ear Flopping As mentioned before, an elf’s ear is sensitive. Their hearing is their primary way of communication and thus they feel a natural sense of defensiveness when it comes to their elongated ears. It is important to handle an elven ear with care. Tugging, pulling and flicking should only be used as a form of punishment, accompanied with a stern “EY!” or calling the elf’s name. For example; Say you have just flopped your elf’s ear and awarded them with a mug of Carrion. If the elf reaches for the whole bottle, an appropriate course of action is to give the ear a firm tug and hiss out the elf’s name. Hurting an elf’s ear may lead to a loss of trust- the trust you have built up over the ears. Approaching the elf in a wrong manner when it comes to flopping will not only permanently damage your relationship but may prevent the elf from letting themselves be flopped in the future. The experience can be confusing or disorienting for most elves. Some may even find it distressing should they be a stranger to human contact. Keep in mind some elves have been raised in forests and groves away from sophisticated societies, meaning that their norms are very different to that of a common house elf. If the elf is taught to associate being flopped with a positive thing, it may even approach you and ask for flops, though this is only a theory. Alas, even with my closest specimen, this has not happened yet. Reactions to Flopping There are three categories for how an elf reacts to a flopping; Friendly, Neutral and Hostile. We will briefly discuss each one: Friendly: This is a reaction oft times received from elves which have been already tamed and formed a positive relationship with you. A friendly reaction oft times consists of a chuckle or a smile. In rare cases, the elf will flop its ears on its own after the encounter. Neutral: This is the most common reaction you will receive. Elves who do not have a bond with tend to act confused and disoriented. They will blink, tilt their heads or ask “Why do you do these things, William?”. Hostile: In all my years of ear-flopping, I have only encountered this behaviour once. Elves seldom react in a hostile manner when flopped. In my case, the elf I have flopped has had a negative experience with me years prior to the flopping. A hostile reaction often consists of smacking the flopper’s hands away. How do you get friendly reactions? Easy! Just follow the following steps: 1- Get to know your elf! Try to learn what your elf does and doesn’t like. Use this to your advantage when flopping, by either treating them to their likes or letting them hear what they like to hear. 2- Spend time with your elf! Every elf is different and likes to do different things. You can take your elf out on a walk or relax by the fire. Your elf will see you as a part of the pack and feel comfortable with your presence overtime. 3- Let your elf know you won’t hurt them. Most elves rely on their instincts for survival as their cortex isn’t as developed as that of a human. An elf may see you as a threat if you cause them harm. 4- Feed your elf. Make sure your elf understands that YOU’RE their provider. This can be done by holding the elf’s food and making them wait for it. Sources Arazo Buckfort (Friendly) Estella Buckfort (Friendly) Nesrin Galanodel (Friendly) Kaya Uulthlini (Friendly) Gawain Buckfort (Neutral) Galahad Buckfort (Neutral) Samantha Buckfort (Neutral) Eliza Raven-Sentinel (Neutral) Brawly Scath (Neutral) Todarian (Neutral) Ser Kryst (Neutral) Peralien Maevisal (Neutral) Seraphite Viradiraar (Hostile) Deaf Pink-Haired Lesbianite With a Peg-Leg (Inconclusive) Coral Redfist (Inconclusive)