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  1. The Cobbler's Goblet, Issue V The Weefolk's Choice Herald This Week's News! The Dead Walk in Dunwen Blood Shed in Dunwen! A Sheriff’s 100th Candle The Dead Walk in Dunwen Written by Griff Peregrin An Illustration of the return of Jeannette Applebottom, by King Patches of Babblebrook. It was just a normal sleepover for Marrow Whistlewood and the other attendees of her gathering. Little did they know, the seance conducted by several partygoers would be much, much more successful than they could have predicted. Rising from their summoning circle was the deceased High Pumplar, Jeannette Applebottom, who died under mysterious circumstances decades prior. It seemed that, in their success, the sangria-drunk attendees had performed a successful seance upon High Pumplar Jeannette, thus tethering her to the mortal plane by way of what I will refer to as “The Wheatfield Gate”. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worst. Many allegations about sangria urination were thrown around wildly, and eventually my own actions came back to bite me in the behind. After attempting to inform the ghastly Jeannette of her identity and the circumstances of her demise, I was tackled down by Magnolia Fiddleberry and Marrow herself. It seemed that, in my lack of foresight, I had inadvertently dredged up too much pain with the ghost, and thus forced her away. The village was furious with me, and rightly so. I have come to recognize the terrible nature of my actions, and the force behind the loss of such a valuable piece of history. I will try my hardest to track down this Jeannette Applebottom so that I may welcome her back into the fold of society, as well as learn from her life’s experiences. If the village shall forgive me for this, I would greatly appreciate it. I would also like to note the positive hosting of Marrow Whistlewood’s slumber party, as well as the presence of the UNCONTAMINATED sangria. I cannot stress how UNCONTAMINATED by any SUBSTANCES that sangria was. It was CLEAN, and UNTAMPERED. I hope you all can think of me as a proper journalist, whose work is not influenced by his own beliefs. In respect to this, I hope you all can view my work as uninfluenced, and not allow your opinion of me to get in the way of the truths of Dunwen. Blood Shed in Dunwen! Written by Griff Peregrin An illustration of Nemea and Peepaw Applebottom, by Bingo Bufferbottom. It was a normal day in Dunwen when blood was shed within the tavern. In a tangle of fists, swords and cruel words, Peepaw Applebottom (who has since relinquished his affiliation to the Peregrin family over unrelated matters), as well as Nemea, a valued honorary halfling and long-time friend of the Shire, were assaulted by the devilish Apollyon Snowell. As many of my dedicated readers will know, this Apollyon Snowell has dwelled within the village in her biggun house for many moons now, and is a known associate and ex-lover of fiendish dragons that attacked our village several pumpkin weeks ago. That is correct, dear readers, Apollyon Snowell has made love to dragons, and without so much as an apology. For years, Apollyon has been harbored illegally in Dunwen without undergoing any honorary trials whatsoever, which is and has always been customary of our people, as well as having been undergone by Nemea herself. This fact was, of course, covered up and forgotten under the threat of King Collingwood and his loyal lapdog, Breasal Nimblefoot (more about Nimblefoot in Article Three). Knowing bigguns, it is their nature to overstay their welcome, and this cannot be put into an example better than the case of Apollyon Snowell. Even after scapegoating all of our cultural traditions due to a suspicious friendship with the King, Apollyon could not resist the urge to physically assault Peepaw Applebottom in the tavern, forcing Nemea to come to his aid. The fight was eventually discovered by several concerned Musin, who made a noble attempt at diffusing the fight and getting Apollyon away from the pair as she battered them with blows from her biggun sword. After being medically attended to, there was a standstill in the village. The Sheriff, who was not present to diffuse the situation, took his sweet time prior to making a statement on what was to happen. Several eyewitness accounts saw Sheriff Nimblefoot in his burrow knitting a scarf for his wife, repeatedly asking if “the pie was ready”. Many suggest that Sheriff Nimblefoot has gone senile, which thus impeded his ability to reach a verdict. (More on that in Article Three). Eventually, it was decided that a trial was to be held, with the date still being tentative until the Sheriff can reach a decision. Although, folks, I wouldn’t hold your breath; it seems he’s elected to make a matching pair of socks for his new scarf. Ultimately, Dunwen must ask itself this: can we not only trust the bigguns who escape the honorary program and take advantage of our locals with violence, but can we also trust the government officials who have allowed this injustice to go unnoticed for so long? Only time will tell. A Sheriff’s 100th Candle Written by Griff Peregrin A quick illustration of the party, by Cap’n Tooke. This week, many in the village had the honor of celebrating the 100th anniversary of Sheriff Breasal Nimblefoot’s birth. Much merriment was had as visitors from practically every bloodline and creed assembled to honor this great adventurer and invaluable member to the halfling community. Many drinks were served, as well as games played, and a great celebration was reported by all attendees. Although, something seemed… off. One eyewitness reports having seen Breasal repeatedly doze off during the festivities. This witness also reports that Breasal often forgot where he was, or what was being celebrated, repeatedly asking others as to who’s birthday it was. Such is the melancholy of age. Breasal has been, without a doubt, a splendid Sheriff, having returned many of the old proper traditions back into the framework of the village. He has defeated many foes, and will no doubt have many songs sung of his greatness in battle for generations to come. But alas, there comes a day when a man must be content with his achievements and pass on the torch to another. Dunwen, I am afraid to say, but I believe that this marks the end of Sheriff Nimblefoot’s term of service. I think, if he is as wise as I have known him to be, he shall select a successor to ascend to the status of Deputy, and when he is ready, replace him as Sheriff upon his retirement. It is a sad remark, to be sure, but a necessary one. I hope to see changes being made in the near future. Who knows: perhaps one of YOU could become the new Sheriff? Stay Wise, Dunwen! Written by Griff Peregrin, Illustrations by Bingo Bufferbottom Published by the Peregrin Family
  2. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! The return of Issue Azhty’H’Futh (XIX) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’H’Futh (CLIX) D.A. ORC POLITICS A Vampire in Orcgrimmar Many orcish readers might know Bug, the pale-green uruk. I myself have known him for a few years, and he has been, to me, like any other bruddah. However, recent Spook-testing by our Krimpgoth Gnarla’Vukh revealed that he was infected by the vampiric curse. He unfortunately resisted his arrest, wounding many orcs. For the safety of all those present, he was therefore killed. However, it seems that monks came by, and brought Bug back to life. Indeed, Elena of Joma, a friend and Paladin, told me that she found Bug “lying on the ground, covered in gore” in Lurin, “paralyzed from the neck down”; likely the result of a fight. Then, he accepted to be cured —though, admittedly, he did not have much of a choice. “He said he had been infected for… about 4 or 5 cactus weeks, so it was within the 12 year period one has before it’s too late to be cured.” she explained. “Descendants turn into vampires by consuming a vampire’s blood.” — “I’ve known some to have been forced to do so,” and according to her, in some cases, “the social stigma of being cursed and the difficulty in seeking help” can make it complicated to get cured. Some can be “under the eyes of a whole coven of vampires, and feel that their safety is threatened should they seek treatment.” Gnarla told me that Bug seemed genuinely confused, and distressed by the whole situation. She held similar assumptions, deeming that he was probably forced into his situation. Though I have not been able to get in touch with Bug to hear his version of the story, it therefore seems that he had no choice in this, and is not buurz himself. Regarding the prevention of future cases, Elena advised: “the main way to test if someone is a vampire is through testing their freshly cut wounds with salt. If it boils, then they’re a vampire.” — “Fangs and claws can be unseen, so they are no good way of finding out.” — “Refrain from travelling alone, as they often attack solitary wanderers… and if you suspect someone to be a vampire, do never confront them alone!” she insisted. FOREIGN AFFAIRS Wagh upon the Sand-Elves I should begin this article by stating that my heart is weighed in the following matters. Our elder Madoc’Lur is a friend to me, and I am a part of the Shaman Lodge; though not once has it bothered me in my duties as Shaman, Skriptgoth, Yargoth, or writer of the Kaktuz Weekli. Yet, I seek to uncover and speak the truth; may each of my words be a praise to Theruz. —Gharak'Yar One might say the conflict between orcs and Atemu-ta's kin dates back to the times of Rex Kybal’Akaal, over 4 cactus months ago. The lads, as they were known, lived in Krugmar, and were taught shamanic ways after becoming honorary orcs. Atemu-Ta, who recently spread extensive propaganda across the continent, claims he was mistreated back then. This could be true. Perhaps, he was treated like an orc, and strength was expected of him where he did not have it. An orc facing injustice doesn’t merely write, or speak of it; he fights, and removes it. Atemu-Ta, being incapable or perhaps refusing such boldness, proved to not be an orc. And so, he was no longer called an orc. He saw this as another injustice. Yet again, he refused to fight it; he did not defend his views, refused challenges and klomps, calling upon his own moral values. To refuse orcish ways in orcish land is to set oneself up for a beating. His sister, trying to protect him, entered a klomp he was losing to honour his principles. She was killed. To interrupt a klomp is to deny both fighters their honour. Destroyed by this, he left Krugmar. Orcs do not mind that elves be elves in elven lands. Atemu-Ta was clearly not an orc, and trying to join a Horde made for orcs was his mistake. Rex Grommash, who now rules upon the Hordelands, pardoned the enemies of the Horde upon accessing the throne. Yet, Atemu-Ta and his Rah’Mun people did not cut all his ties with orcs. Their shamans kept worshipping our spirits. I have witnessed their undoubtedly elvish ways in this art, when I tried to give his people a fair chance. I too, of course, felt sorry for the mourning pharaoh. Yet in their shrines I found our spirits twisted with untrue, elvish names. Old Blah, the language of the spirits, must only be used to speak truth; to speak wrong names is a travesty, a betrayal. It is the precise reason why this tongue is so closely guarded. But they did not only insult the spirits in their own land. They built a shrine on land which, as decided in the previous Southern Summit, belonged to the Qualasheen. This triggered a holy war. Motsham Madoc’Lur has been working on gathering the shamans to guard them from falling into the arms of buurz like they have in the past. Is it unfair to ask that shamans, keepers of our ways, hold an eye on each other? That they make sure none stray away? Another injustice upon Atemu-Ta, who clings to his absolute freedom. His inalienable right to turn buurz, perhaps. He has declared that Madoc’Lur’s attempt to keep shamans away from buurzdom in the Lodge is isfetian —that is to say, in their tongue, buurz. And so, with this final insult, the Iron Horde joined the Qualasheen in their war against the mad pharaoh. ORCISH CULTURE Spiritualism: Meet Addâgse The spirits are central to the orcish culture. They live in their respective realm, neatly separated from the mortal plane— we are told. And so I believed, until a few years ago, as I wandered the great deserts of Krugmar, a hundred miles away from any other descendant. So, I believed, until Addâgse wandered Aevos for a year, and my path met his. Addâgse, I think —for I could never understand the answers he gave to my questions— is the spirit of childhood and innocence. I could not, despite my attempts, determine who Addâgse was lesser under, but I did find that he carried a great deal of wisdom, and many secrets. “Please— You draw me a sheep!” Are the words I heard. I was somewhere, nowhere in the lonely and harsh desert. Yet, he was there. He looked like an extraordinary halfling, with locks of gold and wearing a long, green robe. He had tiny glistening eyes that seemed to look deeply into my being, through my soul, probing my very existence. “Please— You draw me a sheep!” He called again. And I had to comply, for one does not refuse a quest bestowed by the spirits, no matter how measly or seemingly meaningless. He taught me, with all the excruciating patience required to teach grown-ups, the meaning of important things, and the lies of what seems. (Here, I am having to simplify, for many of my readers are grown-ups too.) He told me of those he met on his journey through Aevos; meaningful encounters, and meaningless encounters; the fox who he tamed, and the flower who had tamed him; the one who counts the stars, and those who watch the stars, and me who now listens to them. I have attempted to draw Addâgse— so that you may recognize him, should he ever roam Aevos again. And if he does, and you meet him, please make sure to send me a letter; for I do believe that he has tamed me too. And if you too wish to know him better, seek the books on the Little Spirit in the Ancestral Archives of Orgrimmar; there, I have compiled his story in much more detail than I can do here. PEEP DIZ! Breasal Nimblefoot’s Birthday Our dear friend Breasal Nimblefoot is having his 100th birthday, and will be hosting a great party in Dunwen! He has promised drinking, dancing, and games; and like any halfling party, we are convinced this will be one zkah of a time! The party will start on the third cactus hour of the eastern afternoon. On The Kaktuz You must have noticed that the Kaktuz Weekli has not been published in the last couple cactus weeks. It is because I have been on a journey, a self-exile into the desert. It is in fact there that I have met Addâgse. I am happy to announce that I am back, strengthened, wisened, and ready to face life with all my might. As announced, a new section was added to the Kaktuz Weekli; PEEP DIZ! It will hold things we think deserve to be spread across Aevos, or possibly advertisements. Paid advertisements will of course be flagged as such. Please get in touch with anyone in our team ((or better, leave your message below!)) if you wish to have a message in this section of the next issue! The Team Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  3. The Cobbler's Goblet, Issue IV The Weefolk's Choice Herald This Week's News! Gnomestyle Cooking: Gremlins Attack! A Duel in Dunwen! Pepin Strikes Again! Gnomestyle Cooking: Gremlins Attack! Written by Griff Peregrin An illustration of the Gnome Potluck, Bingo Bufferbottom. Many citizens of Dunwen were excited to learn of a potluck taking place in the village square this week. Many more were quite intrigued to the fact that local gnome, Merwin the Fool, was hosting said event. Having personally attended, I can testify that I, too, was curious to learn the culinary traditions of the Gnomish peoples. Upon arriving, everything seemed to be going quite alright, albeit it was somewhat jarring to learn that we would be throwing all of our dishes inside a giant, boiling pot, rather than eating them separately. Nevertheless, many halflings were tucking in for a delicious feast- that was, until gremlins arrived on the scene! Taunting us from a nearby hill, a Gremlin sorcerer began casting rocks upon several participants, and even attempted to go as far as to try and tip over the pot! It was through this that several of the attendees gave chase to the gremlin, tailing it back to its hovel in an abandoned hovel beneath a tree outside the village. After chasing it into the hovel, the attendees soon discovered that the gremlin sorcerer has raised several golems in an attempt to raid the village! The halflings jumped into action on the spot, with Griff Peregrin dealing a devastating blow to one of the golems following its brutal assault on Thain Mimosa Applefoot. Within this hovel, the diary of a deceased gnome was discovered. Merwin the Fool himself continues to research into this diary, as well as its potential meanings for the future of the village. But while this research is being conducted, we must begin to wonder: does this Gremlin onslaught tie into the attack of both the Azdrazi, as well as Arkaknox? What have we done to incur this wrath? Can it be blamed on the people we harbor on our lands; the bigguns who use magic in the shadows? A Duel in Dunwen! Written by Griff Peregrin Griff Peregrin and Vindacus at the Shogging Pier, by Bingo Bufferbottom. It was a cool, winter’s night when a small congregation of halflings met in Thain Mimosa Applefoot’s burrow for a lovely, peaceful supper. That was, until the foul Vindacus- the false knight whom we highlighted in last week’s issue- invited himself inside for the sole purpose of tormenting myself, Griff Peregrin. After throwing several insults at my honor and intelligence, Vindacus suggested that mouse traps be constructed within the Castle of Babblebrook, revealing his bloodthirsty intent on catching, slaying or perhaps eating the Musin people. He did this not only over dinner, but in the presence of His Mousejesty, King Patches. It was only natural that I challenged him to a fair shogging tilt upon his honor, in order to avenge the cruel words spoken upon the Musin peoples. We met at the dock, with many halflings spectating the match. The honorable Marrow Whistlewood volunteered to referee the match, as she was one of the few unbiased parties present. We elected to play “best of three”. The first tilt resulted in a draw, with both of us falling off of our logs. In the second tilt, I managed to react at the split second of the timer, catching Vindacus offguard as I catapulted him into the water. However, under my suspicion that he was inadequately prepared, I chose to forfeit my victory of the round, as I believed it would sully my honor. Vindacus, not having any concept of honor, called me a fool for this. In the following two rounds, Vindacus used a technique known as “quick shuffling”, which many shogging fans will know was banned in the Old Dunshire Finalist Match many years ago. Pressing his feet tightly to the log, he began to roll it forward, utilizing the momentum to knock me from my log and win the match. I was in the deepest of dismay. Having accepted my loss, I reached forward to shake Vindacus’ hand, but not before he raised his arms and began chanting dark incantations in the direction of poor Miss Whistlewood! In an attempt to save Miss Whistlewood’s life from his biggun sorcery, I tackled Vindacus into the water and attempted to wrestle the pumpkin from his head, as he was tainting the sacred vegetable of Lord Knox with his dark magic. Vindacus, using his biggun strength, managed to best me once more, before fleeing the scene. As such, I leave an open reminder to the foul Vindacus: if you wish to truly fight me fairly in shogging once more, I will be open to the challenge. However, if you continue to use these backwards tricks and underhanded plays, I will have no choice but to result to the law’s might. Stay safe and stay vigilant, Dunwen. Pepin Strikes Again! Written by Griff Peregrin A Map of Greater Dunfarthing, Pepin Applefoot. As we have been unable to arrange the long-awaited interview with Marrow Whistlewood, we will instead be highlighting one of the many maps that are continually produced by Pepin Applefoot. A boy genius, Pepin Applefoot has honed his skills as a master cartographer even further with this highly realistic rendition of the Shires of Dunfarthing. Way to go, Pepin! The Cobbler's Goblet is now hiring writers, reporters and distributors! Citizens of Brabant and Valenza would be highly valued as Cobbler's Goblet staff members. Contact Griff Peregrin (MonkeNotic) for more information. Stay Wise, Dunwen! Written by Griff Peregrin, Illustrations by Bingo Bufferbottom Published by the Peregrin Family
  4. The Cobbler's Goblet, Issue III The Weefolk's Choice Herald This Week's News! The Halflings Slay a Dragon! Pecan Pie Conspiracy: The Stew Thickens Dunwen’s Dullards: Armed and Dangerous, Sir Vindacus! The Halflings Slay a Dragon! Written by Griff Peregrin The Wedding preceding the Draconic Frenzy, by Mimosa Applefoot. It transpired earlier this Pumpkin Week that the Halflings would not only host the marriage of two bigguns, but the house warming of Arugulaspawn themselves! It was at the wedding of Dunwen biggun local Apollyon Snowell and the Silver Lubba of Lurin that an unknown number of dragonspawn, identified by one of our sources as “Azdrazi”, arrived to crash the celebration. One of the guests, Magnolia Fiddleberry, testified that these dragonmen might have been the ex-lovers of our community’s own Apollyon Snowell. Several other halflings testify witnessing the dark fury of these beasts, who were ultimately defeated through the combined efforts of the guests present. Our analysts at the Cobbler’s Goblet have begun to ponder a dark reality; perhaps these dragonmen’s appearance, as well as the arrival of the beast Arkaknox, tie in with some greater threat that may be posed to the village. Have we truly begun to incur Arugula’s wrath? Furthermore, if the rumors of Ms. Snowell’s associations with these beasts are true, could she perhaps be playing a hand in the greater conflicts that sweep the village? Next week, Griff Peregrin will be releasing a long-awaited interview with a specialist on the Arugulan faith, detailing the possible paths we could take to get out of our present situation… but until then, keep your blinds open, Dunwen. You never know what our biggun neighbors might do next… Pecan Pie Conspiracy: The Stew Thickens Written by Griff Peregrin Hambart Bingleberry in the Peregrin Living Room, by Bingo Bufferbottom. Many of you will remember an article from our first Cobbler’s Goblet issue, detailing the potential lethal side-effects of Pecan Pie. Well, this week, we’ve managed to secure an interview with known glutton and village newcomer Hambart Bingleberry, who has demonstrated several worrying side-effects of pecan pie consumption. Hambart weighs in at an impressive one-hundred-fifty pumpkins, or three hundred pounds, for our biggun readers. This mammoth of a weeman bravely volunteered himself for research and experimentation, having consumed a slice of pecan pie roughly the size of the average musin’s torso. What we found was astonishing. Hambart, upon finishing the pie, immediately began to sweat profusely, which our scientists have reasoned to be an early onset sign of sudden death. He later said that he had no extensive history of eating pecan pie, and that this may be the first time he has ever tried it. For a man to immediately show fatal signs upon his first slice does not bode well for pecan pie’s safety regulations. Stay tuned as we meet with local bakers to discuss their plans on avoiding a potential health crisis with this delicious but deadly treat. Dunwen’s Dullards: Armed and Dangerous, Sir Vindacus! Written by Griff Peregrin Sir Vindacus’ Dunwen Estate, Bingo Bufferbottom. Many halflings have had the displeasure of meeting the local biggun rotter and ne’er-do-well, the self-proclaimed “Sir” Vindacus, but few have had such a clear lens into his disgusting history as our reporters and informants here at the Cobbler’s Goblet. For those who are unaware, the man who calls himself Sir Vindacus is an adult, biggun male who has taken up residence in a lofty estate within our shire for several years now. What you may not know, however, is how he got there in the first place. Several records from biggun kingdoms that Vindacus resided in at various points have detailed his dishonorable discharge from military service for various crimes, including public nudity, public urination, and serial debauchery. Having no other place to go, this “Vindacus” arrived in Dunwen, hoping to take advantage of the less educated locals. Ruven, a frequent local of Dunwen, stated that they had seen a poster declaring Vindacus’ banishment in the theater of a place known as Kaethul. Furthermore, trusted elder Magnolia Fiddleberry stated that Vindacus may not be right-of-mind, believing him to have suffered some form of brain trauma. Since his debut in our community, Sir Vindacus has repeatedly displayed his heinous tendencies, but it was allowed to rest… until recently, when Vindacus turned his vindictive gaze onto Dunwen’s own children. Many will know the beloved youth Zeeron, who as of recently was personally threatened by Sir Vindacus. Vindacus, who has repeatedly referred to halflings as the derogatory term “Wee Wees”, came upon Zeeron with his typical forked tongue, to which Zeeron fought back. Declaring that “Wee Wees” was an offensive term, Zeeron stood up for the Halfling people, to which Vindacus retaliated with a threat on their life. Zeeron is very young, and as such, was deeply disturbed by this. Please, to any halflings who roam the streets without this knowledge, hear this message and know of Sir Vindacus’ crimes. With luck, perhaps we can remove him from our land for good and be all the better for it. Stay Wise, Dunwen! Written by Griff Peregrin, Illustrations by Bingo Bufferbottom Published by the Peregrin Family
  5. The Cobbler's Goblet, Issue II The Weefolk's Choice Herald This Week's News! The Halflings Take Up Arms! Absent and Unapologetic: Is Griff Peregrin Sorry? Pepin Applefoot, the Boy Genius! The Halflings Take Up Arms! Written by Griff Peregrin A sketch done at the battle scene in the fight against Arkaknox, by Dolly Peregrin. Last week, we told you about the murder of a mysterious Halfling farmer and the emergence of a strange beast in the wheatfields, known as Arkaknox. Shortly after seeing last week's issue, Sheriff Breasal Nimblefoot reached out to me personally to get information on this beast. After discussing thoroughly, Sheriff Nimblefoot elected to lead a party of several halflings, musin and bigguns alike to try and rid the wheatfields of this "shark-like Arugulaspawn". The party led a victory against the beast, with Arkaknox having fled deeper into the wheatfield as an act of retreat, returning it to normal. However, suspicions and worries are still on high... After arranging a private interview with the Sheriff, I asked several questions about his response to the events. The interview is as follows: How do you intend to defeat Arkaknox in the future, as well as further prepare the Halflings for any threats? "...we were warned that it would return. Until then, I shall conduct some self-defense lessons for those who wish to learn, as well as continue with my patrols". It seems that, when Arkaknox fled, he spoke plainly to the Halflings and warned them of his return, saying he'd be "back for blood". How do you intend to conduct these self-defense lessons? Do you plan on using older techniques, such as the Peregrin Methods? "I will begin with the basics and move on to what I learned from my adventuring days. Everything is welcome if it'll help citizens defend themselves." Out of worry for the repercussions and potential involvement in biggun conflicts due to these lessons, I asked the following: Do you plan on using these techniques to train the Halflings for involvement in the biggun war? "No, you've misunderstood me, this will only be for self-defense. It was agreed upon in the Grand Moot. We will stand up to immediate threats, [and] we won't interfere in biggun politcs. We are neutral, and that's that." It seems that Impropers will have to hang up their armor, because it does not look like our involvement in the war will come at any point. After leaving Sheriff Nimblefoot, I soon encountered a new halfling I had not met before named Marrow Whistlewood. This Marrow seemed to have rather strong and unorthodox opinions on how we should deal with the Arkaknox situation, which is detailed in the interview below: What are your thoughts on the Arkaknox situation? Do you know what brought it about? "It was a sign! I've just come to this village, so I don't know what you all have done to summon the ire of the Mistress of the Depths, but she's angry... furious at you... and you all better start repenting, lest your souls wallow in the stormy fathoms of the inky keeper's tides." Please, elaborate! "It was raining, a horrid storm, and yet I was the only one who remembered to pour [water] out? I thought everyone knew you had to pour [out water] when it rained, because the Sunken Dame was pouring [out water] for you! And after the rain, you should make an offering to the harvest, since the rain helped foster your crops. Really, this is basic stuff, but [none] of you were doing any of it... no wonder she is sending sharks after you all." So, you believe we should start taking the worship of Arugula more seriously? "Don't go saying her name, you'll only make her more mad, and it brings her attention to you! Now you have to wash your mouth out with saltwater. And yes, a good and proper reverence of the tide is in order, starting at least with oblations- offerings." I will attempt to track down this woman again for next week's issue, in which I will dive deeper into her views on Arugulan dogma and its practices. What are your thoughts on it, Dunwen? Should we start honing our shovel skills, or start praying to the Salt Maiden? This is surely a time of great turmoil... stay safe out there. Absent and Unapologetic: Is Griff Peregrin Sorry? Written by Griff Peregrin An illustration of Griff Peregrin outside of the Peregrin Burrow, by Mimosa Applefoot. Griff Peregrin, prolific chief journalist of the Cobbler's Goblet and author of this article, has committed a heinous and scandalous act in the eyes of many: he has avoided an invitation to dinner. Only a few days ago, the ever-welcoming Mimosa Applefoot requested at random to take a sketch of Griff outside his home, The Peregrin Abode. Believing this was simply a portrait to be displayed within the Town Hole, Griff posed gallantly with his golden shovel, looking dashing as ever. It was only after returning from a long sojourn into biggun country that Griff had realized the true intent of the drawing- a dinner invitation, from the Applefoots to the Peregrins! Griff was, without a doubt, shocked deeply by this. Having already missed the dinner, he elected to make his apology publicly in order to douse the whispers of scandal. He has come out and testified: "I am sorry, Mimosa. I was in biggun country trying to scam children on fake voodoo dolls. It was very funny. I will attend the next dinner that you host to the best of my ability". Do you forgive him? Let us know. Send all letters to the Peregrin Abode by the Dunfarthing waterfront. Pepin Applefoot, the Boy Genius! Written by Griff Peregrin A detailed cartographic accounting of the Dunwen area, by Pepin Applefoot. "What a prodigy", many a halfling have said over the last few days: and it is simply, undoubtedly, true! Above is shown a copy of Pepin Applefoot's detailed map on the Dunwen region, including an adorably misspelled Barnsley, the greater Dunfarthing Proper, and even smaller regions such as the Dunkeld area by the coast. Many have talked with Pepin Applefoot over the last few days, congratulating him on his academic feat. Many have also begun suggesting the idea of opening a halfling school, for halfling knowledge such as crop rotation sciences and pecan pie studies to be taught to all wee'uns. Stay Wise, Dunwen! Written by Griff Peregrin, Illustrations by Bingo Bufferbottom Published by the Peregrin Family
  6. The Cobbler's Goblet, Issue I The Weefolk's Choice Herald This Week's News! Land Sharks Attack! Huge Boom in Pumpkin Stocks Pecan Pie: Delicious or Deadly? Land Sharks Attack! Written by Griff Peregrin An illustration of the scene of the crime, by Bingo Bufferbottom. Early this morning, several farmers going about their regular commute came across a horrifying sight! The severed head of an unidentifiable halfling, as well as several dismembered appendages, lay strewn across the grass directly outside of the shoreside wheatfield. After assessing the body, the farmers recognized several bite marks that seemed to be the cause of the injury. One halfling sailor has spoken about this matter, anonymously testifying: "This can nay be anythin' other than a shark, I'd reckon. The bite marks match up perfectly. Must be a big feller, too- they're huge!" Furthermore, a strange sign also seemed to appear around the same time as the death of the farmer. Nailed upon a wooden post by the corpse now reads "BEWARE ARKAKNOX" in large lettering. Whoever this "Arkaknox" figure is, our reporters have surmised that it must be an aspect of Arugula that is now haunting the wheatfield, praying on the innocent. Next week, we will be featuring a private interview with Sheriff Nimblefoot on this matter, so stay tuned! Huge Boom in Pumpkin Stocks Written by Griff Peregrin An illustration of the Dunwen Pumpkin Fields, by Bingo Bufferbottom. Our financial analysts on the Halfling Agromarket have predicted a 27.5% upturn in the value of pumpkin supplies going into The Grand Harvest. It is believed this is due to the construction of the newly built Knox statue on the outskirts of Dunfarthing, with a vast number of pumpkins having been taken out of standard circulation. Pumpkin farmers and aficionados be advised. Pecan Pie: Delicious or Deadly? Written by Griff Peregrin An illustration of the Dunfarthing Bakery, by Bingo Bufferbottom. Many Halflings love the taste of delicious Pecan Pie, but is this sweet treat actually safe for consumption? New studies have shown that the halfling obesity epidemic is widely influenced by the consumption of sweet treats such as pecan pie. Halflings who die from gluttonous habits have been documented by bakers as having consumed up to sixteen pecan pies weekly, which may have been the primary cause of death. Studies are still being conducted into this topic, but all halflings are advised to avoid eating the pies until then. Stay Wise, Dunwen! Written by Griff Peregrin, Illustrations by Bingo Bufferbottom Published by the Peregrin Family
  7. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H’Gakh (XVIII) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Futh (CLXIV) D.A. ORC POLITICS A New Vassal to the Horde? The Iron Horde might be getting a new vassal soon. A tribe of Qualasheen Far-folk arrived on Malin’s Welcome [Tuesday], and expressed a desire to settle in the deserts of Krugmar. The delegation of the Al-Badwawi tribe was composed of three people. Their leader, Sultan Mehmed Ibn Walid Al-Badwawi, was accompanied by two advisors; Shura Bayezid Ibn Walid Al-Badwawi, and Shura Taiseer Ibn Walid Al-Badwawi. They seemed very pious, and eager to share both goods and culture; indeed, they are Qualasheen, which is to say they follow the Iiman Rashidun. They believe, much like Canonists, that there is only one god and creator; though they do not follow the canonist scrolls; they have their own scriptures known as the Book of Peace. They have expressed a distaste for needless violence but I must assume they are competent military-wise; they are well armed and have dedicated military roles. Bayezid has blah’d his role among the Shura council was that of military advisor; helping the Sultan for matters of strategic warfare. Though this will be further discussed, detailed and made official during this cactus day’s Klamor, Rex Grommash has welcomed their arrival in principle, so long as they share the way of orcs. He stated the Horde’s conditions: “you’re to trade, to share food and water with us, to bring warriors when the horde marches.” — Which they accepted with honor. FOREIGN AFFAIRS The new Grand King of Urguan Following Grand King Garedyn’s passing, the dwarves of Urguan have seen a new king rise to the throne. Sigrun Stonehammer gave the Kaktuz Weekli an interviews a few months after gaining his position. Will we be seeing a change of policies in Urguan under your reign? “Not really… I’ve been running Urguan as Grand Regent under Garedyn for four years before hand, so I’m gonna stick with what I know how to deal with: which is winning this war. I have a great set of advisors behind me for political affairs, but Garedyn's policies have done us very well so far so I don’t see a reason to change.” Regarding the war, he added: “I know well what I’m doing when it comes to it, and its consequences, so I have no intent on dishonouring the alliance. Urguan is the most honourable state and always keeps to its word, and that reputation is something I seek to keep.” Are there large events you want to oversee during your reign? “Yes! I have many great events planned for Urguan, including a whole new city that will be carved out of the mountain.” he announced— but seemed reluctant to share more. Concerning relations with the Iron Horde, do you see it as an enemy nation, or is it just a matter of circumstances? “We will have to see until after we deal with Veletz,” he sighed “but I have sent no dwarven raiders or attacks upon the people of the horde in particular, except for the shared large battles.” “It appears they do not share the same sentiment, as they have repeatedly sent Urukin to attack our farms and roads.” he warned. “If you don’t want to invoke my ire for after Veletz, then I suggest stopping it.” Any closing words for our readers, or for orcs? “What I would say to orcs back in the Horde is to advise good friend Grommash to take their livelihoods in priority over assisting Veletz.” ORCISH CULTURE Orkish Delights: Kruga Kola! This week in the Kaktuz Weekli… The recipe for an old Krugmarian drink: Kruga Kola! Ingredients: A twiggie A handful of salt One brick of butter A few bottles of wine A few ripe potatoes Cinnamon, Vanilla and spices of your liking Preparation: Peel the twiggie, and chop it into 5 or 10 bite-size pieces. Salt, then sear the chunks in butter in a large pan over a medium fire, mixing well so that it does not burn. Prepare your cauldron; pour one bottle of wine in it without bringing it to a boil. Once the chunks are well-cooked on each side, transfer to the cauldron. Add wine until the meat is fully covered, and place a lid on top. Boil slowly over a small fire, and mix every now and then to check the level. When the wine has boiled down to half its initial level, add the potatoes and top the cauldron with water. Keep it warm over a smoldering fire for the day. Mix every few hours; it should never boil. Add cinnamon, vanilla and any spices you like. Leave to rest for the night. The next morning, mix gently to avoid creating air bubbles, then separate the stew into sturdy oak barrels. Be very careful; there should be as little air as possible. If needed, add boiled (not boiling!) water to top up the barrels. Seal them and let them ferment for at least a month. Kruga-Kola is a carbonated drink; pick your barrels accordingly. Half the batch usually fails; hence why it is recommended to prepare as many smaller barrels as you can. Sift the Kruga Kola after opening the barrels. You may also open the barrels early, sift the contents and complete the fermentation in bottles. There you have it! Dark, fuzzy Twiggie Stew with its cinnamony, quiet vanilla aftertaste: that’s Kruga Kola! On The Kaktuz A new Section coming next Issue! Hopefully starting next issue, we will be adding a new section to the Kaktuz Weekli; “Did lat gruk?” where we hope to show you things you might not have known. Places worth visiting, small cultural traditions, interesting and unique shops… The Kaktuz Weekli is looking forward to reading your ideas if you can think of places that you want to share! Help your Newspaper! In its effort to reach a broader audience, we are hiring a paper boy for the Kaktuz Weekli. As always, we are also still looking for informants who will help us with local news outside of Krugmar. Thanks for reading! Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  8. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H’Dub (XVII) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Gakh (CLXIII) D.A. ORC POLITICS Orc of the Week: Grommash! Though I suspect —and hope!— our readers know what a Rex is, and who Grommash is, this issue’s orc of the week is the Rex, the leader of the orcs. He took the position after Grubsnakh the Olog fell sick, and has been overseeing vast reforms, including the reconstruction of our capital San’Brîu, which was dismantled in favor of the current Orcgrimmar. So, how is it, being Rex? “Being Rex is very strange. I think I have approached the Rexdom differently than many previous Rexes. The Rex is not the strongest of Orcs, or rather the Rex must be more than that. The Rex speaks for the Horde, he leads the Horde. He is responsible for ensuring the prosperity and the virtue of the Horde. In that sense he is not just the Horde speaker but also the Horde father. Where he commands, the Horde goes. By his will warriors kill and die.” We have seen the horde change with more orcs, more events and a more aggressive stance towards other nations. Do you think it’s good now or will you be striving for even more change? “I think the changes I have brought to the Horde are a step in the right direction. But frankly the Horde is far from where it needs to be. Without the support of the elders, the Chieftains and the Goths of the Rex council we would not have achieved any progress at all.” “In that sense I want to thank Minto, Azfrai, Apek, Madoc, Gazhnakh, the leaders of Gobtown, as well as the masters of the guild. Even non-goth orcs such as Grogmar have been indispensable for the success of the horde.” “Regarding the more aggressive stance… —he paused for a moment— I don't think that is true. The humans may dance their tongue dances and speak their honeywords, but we are Uruks, children of Krug himself. We should speak in truth always. I have approached many of these nations under the white banner of truce many times to speak to them. There has never been a violation of the white banner of truce by Orcs. Not when we visited Hysland, not when we visited Norland, not when we visited Dwedland, not when we went to Aaun to return the corpse of their dead knight and the children he had left with us.” “The Orcish stance from the beginning of the war has been very clear. Before the war even started I made it abundantly clear, especially to the Hyspians. The desert belongs to the Orcs. Those who live in the desert will be considered invaders.” We have also seen you put a lot of effort in foreign diplomacy, how is this going? “Well…” He sighed. “Many nations are helping to make a new human empire, I think. They have forgotten what it means for the rest of us.” — “Many orcs have died during the war of ten nations, and I’m trying to make sure they haven’t died in vain.” You wanted to create a Kubrex role during last Klamor, have you got any orc in mind for the position? “No. I had some candidates in mind but I don't think they are even ready for Kubrex yet. I have been giving some of the orcs responsibilities and missions to see if they can be trusted. At the moment I don't think anyone is really ready yet. Kho is not interested in being Rex.” There have been rumors going on about you looking for a lifemate, is it true? What qualities are you looking for in them? “I have been too busy with the war to even give it thought. A feorc who works hard for the horde maybe?” You’ve remained clanless, do you plan on joining a clan any time soon? “I have been focusing on the war and reforms. There aren't really any clans that I feel drawn to at the moment. I think that much of the new orc population is also clanless. It seems like the position of clans in Orcish society is changing somewhat.” “Honestly I'd really like to see my Wargoths and Chieftains step up and do more, they have been disappointing up until now.” — “For the foreseeable future I will probably stay clanless.” Anything else you want to add? “I'd like to thank all the Orcs who have been working for the greater good of the Horde. We will preserve the way of Krug and the land given to us by Krug, our ancestors, and the spirits.” FOREIGN AFFAIRS A Paladin’s Daily Path Though it is the orc’s Krug-given mission to rid the world of the darkspawn, we are not the only ones to fight bûurz. Paladins are also dedicated to eradicating darkspawns; so Elena of Joma agreed to tell us more about their order. Interview by Spuds. What first brought you into paladinism? “Well, originally I sought to be a void mage in Hohkmat… I made an encounter with several inferi, that made a deal with a man then walked away without anyone to stand up to them. That encounter changed my views and later down the line it was my first mentor, Viltaren of Ahad, that made me interested in this path.” I must assume your view on the world has changed since then? “It has changed greatly! I had no idea who the azdrazi were until I became a paladin. They are a horrid threat that practice foul magics.” “When I was seeking to be a void mage, I sought power for my own benefit. I sought power to make sure no one would take advantage of me again.” — “Now… I do have power, more than I could have thought possible. Though it is through service and a strict set of oaths that I am able to have such power, and I can only use it for such service. I have become content in keeping others safe and helping people, and have especially grown my capacity for empathy to all descendants.” “But,” she added, “for many it is less about noble hearts and more about serving Xan’s will. We are pledged to further Xan’s goals of Order and Guardianship to the best of our ability, with Xan’s power as a gift to aid us in that regard when necessary.” And how does day-to-day life look like being a Xan blessed warrior? “Some of us live in relative peace and tranquillity, mainly doing our activities when called upon by our comrades, but others are often right in the thick of it, getting consistent letters for healing malflame wounds, lifting curses, giving the population blessed items according to their needs against such forces, defending a region from invasion, raiding a suspected or confirmed hiding place for them, or collecting information about potential darkspawn.” Thank you very much! Do you want to tell anything more to our readers? “Well, I hope that I do not romanticize the life of a paladin, nor make it seem like a torturous existence.” — “It is a worthy path for those that seek to go towards a higher calling against those of Iblees and Azdromoth.” “It is a big commitment, —she emphasized— one that should not be scorned or judged.” ORCISH CULTURE The Ashst Lodge Meeting A cactus week ago, the Lodge held its first meeting. Shamans from all around Krugmar —as well as from distant lands— gathered in the great shaman tent of Orcgrimmar to discuss important matters. The blahing was long, with many great shamans voicing their conflicting opinions… which was indeed the whole point of the gathering. The first issue discussed was regarding the Azulytes, and their affiliation with darkspawn. After careful discussion, they were declared enemies of the Lodge. Then the shamans blahed regarding Skorkon the inferi bull, who has been at the heart of many heated debates and infighting all the way back to the times of Almaris. Indeed, though Zkorkon is of buurz origins, for a while it was thought that shamanism could cure his condition and bring him up to a better existence. However, after such a long time, it became clear that such a perspective was only an illusion. The matter was settled once and for all, for it was decided that he would be flatted. Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Spuds, Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  9. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H’Azh (XVI) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Dub (CLXII) D.A. ORC OF THE GRUB WEEK A Grubgoth for the Horde! The Grubgoth in Krugmar is nub only the keeper of the tavern, but also the steward of our rich culinary culture and refinement. Agh Cob'Lur the goblin recently took the position! What better choice for orc of the week? Ashst, congratulations on being Grubgoth! “Yub yub, this is exciting news, because I wasn’t sure myself until the rex said it. I have been trying to keep the orcs fed!” You have been working at the tavern for some time now, yes? Were you aiming to become Grubgoth? “I definitely love the honour of becoming Grubgoth. But mostly I find cooking for my brothers and sisters relaxing and it makes me happy!” “I also saw as a child that the tavern was closed. —Indeed, Cob is the first Grubgoth we have in decades, the last ash being Kor'Garr— I always wanted to work here and serve food!” Did someone teach you, or did you learn on your own? “I learned from my adoptive parents. My mother was Zkrap, agh mi’z popo waz Varn. I haven’t seen my blood-parents. They are most likely dead.” I understand you have been working on clan recipes... That Hungry Ungri was delicious! “Yes! I made something simple yet pleasing to represent the Ungris. Simple yet good orcs who have a big appetite.” She showed me a booklet with a dozen clan-related recipes planned ahead. “I have to introduce the vinteky stew sometime soon!” I will be looking forward to that. Is there anything you want to add, to blah the Horde perhaps? “I want to tell them that they are the best brothers and sisters I could ever hope for!” Recipe of the Hungry Ungri Cob was kind enough to share an exclusive recipe for her latest creation: the Hungry Ungry! Take a whole cow, agh clean its guts from both ends. Fill it with vegetables, most importantly garlic, onion agh hot peppers. You may also add carrots, mushrooms agh beans. For a fresh taste, add a few ripe fruits; apples agh pears add their sweet juices to the meat agh extra flavor. Slowly roast above a weak fire for an entire day. Then, eat it while it is still warm! FOREIGN GRUBBING Halfling Wizard Cheese Magnolia Fiddleberry, the halfling wizard, owns a wizard cheese shop, right next to the Dunfarthing cheese museum. She agreed to answer a few questions: So, please tell us more about this cheesemancing business... “I have been cheesemancing for about seventy years now. Of course, my cheese was good before I became a wizard. The magic isn’t what makes the cheese good. It’s what makes it wizard cheese.” She proudly explained: “yeah, I could stir the curds and press the whey and all that bad hand. But I can also do it with magic.” Agh were you taught magic? Or is that something you developed on your own? “Do you know of Barbog? He lived in Honeyhill since before I was born.” We discussed a bit about the great goblin philosopher— “Well, he taught me the start of magic. Then I spent a few years travelling. Hopping between libraries to read all the spellbooks I could find. Now I’ve written my own.” I see. How do you see this evolving in the coming years? “I’m planning to try a few things out based on some suggestions of cheese I got. Someone said to put chocolate in cheese. Heck yeah I’m gonna do that! And in terms of the wizard side, I’m working on a second spellbook for Kitchen Magic right now.” Do you have students, or would you like to? “I’m not the best teacher myself. Not really anything I could teach them beyond advice, which they can ask me for anyways.” “But I did make my basement a bit of a public magicking space for Dunfarthing. So there will be my spellbooks for anyone to learn from there, alongside a lil’ library of magic.” That sounds great indeed. Any closing words for our readers? “Smoke pipe, life y’ life. Respect t’ frogs. Eat a toastie. And above all: Stay wizardin’.” GRUBING CULTURE Da Ultimate Grubber Deep within the Ungri Clan halls, lives a spirit like no other. To my knowledge, the Maw is the only spirit who permanently dwells in the mortal plane, right beneath Krugmar. It resembles a massive beast-worm buried in the ground, its mouth gaping, waiting to be fed. Looking below from the plank which has been set up for this purpose, ash can see row after row of sharp teeth growing from the sides of its endless throat; a cavity which goes so far deep down into the earth that the bottom cannot be seen. That is the Maw, the father of ologs, the spirit which the Ungris worship. "Our god is cruel, our god is mighty, our god will consume the mortal plane should we fail it." the Ungri wargoth, Drekür'Ungri blahd me. Even —agh perhaps especially— to the Ungris, the Maw represents a great menace, for they know "the consequences of not delivering the Maw what it deserves". Indeed, in the past the Maw has already unleashed its wrath on descendants. It was in the times of Athera. Back then, "even Ologs knew none of their father’s hunger", agh for this the Maw destroyed Athera. The Maw munching Athera With a few terrible bites, the entire continent was consumed; those who foolishly fought were eaten, those who fled escaped only to live their last days in fear of the great beast. The Ologs heard the Maw's voice agh worshipped it, fed it with all they could gather. Agh so far, it seems they have indeed been able to keep its appetite and anger at bay. "This is why we serve him! This is why we venerate and feed it." Drekür further explained— "Because the realm remains ignorant, remains filled with hubris, without the Ungri the maw would punish once again. But next time his sacred bites shall be absolute, world-ending." "The world sees us as mindless brutes… but we are zealous servants of the realms existence." Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  10. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’H (XV) — Azh’Kint’H’Azh’ty’Azh (CLXI) D.A. ORC POLITICS Another Klamor After a few cactus weeks, the Horde gathered ashs more for a Klamor! Rex Grommash opened the meeting to hold a discussion on the clans. It was quickly decided that clans would be acknowledged by the horde if they have a wargoth [leader] plus gakh members. Clans will now be divided into greater agh lesser clans; greaters clans being those with more than ashty members. The wargoths will also be able to collectively give the title of greater clan to those they think deserve it; specifically older clans devoted to the kubs of Krug. There were also debates on the future of clans Vinteki agh Gorkil; indeed, the dub have very similar values, agh Azfrai’Lur specifically voiced concerns about the young Vinteki clan throwing shade on the older Gorkil clan. There were also blahs of merging the dub, but no resolution was found since the Rex has no say in those decisions. The next topic discussed was that of the Kubrex. Grommash expressed concerns of what might happen if he were to die prematurely —which tends to happen during waghtik. Many voices called for Kho'Gorkil the Dominus, or Madoc'Lur the Motsham to inherit the throne if the Rex were to die. Both refused however, since they weren't keen on holding the position. More will be discussed during next Klamor. Minto'Lur, Rukagoth [treasurer] of the Horde then spoke on the war efforts: "Most of the clans have been doing good work with grinding and donating, but we still need more help." He encouraged all to keep working hard, agh warned that the Horde is still not fully preserved from shortages. Again, Grommash ended the Klamor with a blah of Orcgrimmar. "After Orcgrimmar is built, new clans will need to come to the Klamor with their Leader agh gakh members to become official clans." he explained, as had been decided earlier. FOREIGN AFFAIRS A Queen for Balian With King Adrian I's recent passing, Balian will see a new ruler: Queen Sybille I will be crowned next cactus day on the Grand Harvest. Spuds interviewed her, agh she agreed to blah a bit more for the readers of the Kaktuz Weekli. When will your coronation be? And along with that will there be any special measures taken due to the war? “It shall be on the next Grand Harvest.” She confirmed the preparation of security measures, but could obviously not give us any details. What is your stance on the war waged by the Covenant? “My stance is the same as my father’s; after all it was I who was kidnapped, beginning the domino fall that led to the war.” Do you have major plans as a queen? “Ai, a bona few. I have nobility reforms drafted." she explained, "I also wish for the knights of the nation to be under a new management to ensure that chivalry in Balian holds strong.” I understand many of your knights are templars? “Ai, I'm close to many... I have given them land so they might build a monastery to host a Templar order. I would be remiss to say I don’t support their efforts against the dark of the continent.” Anything you want to add? “Ai. Several treat Balian as some sort of successor to Oren. We are not: the Balianese people are their own people with their own culture separate from that of the Orenian Predecessors.” she said. “What makes us different is that our forefathers were run out of Oren by the very people who call us Orenian. They are the ones who fought for their Oren, we founded a new home in the south.” ORCISH CULTURE The Stargush’Stroh The Stargush'Stroh is a central pillar of the orcish culture; it is, for many, what gives a sense agh purpose to our lives. The Stargush’Stroh is a place somewhere among the stars where ash may go if they have lived a great life —which to us already eliminates those who do not live in orcish ways or, even worse, meddle with the darkspawn agh voidal mages. Kor, spirit of the Dead Upon death, the soul leaves the body, agh the life lived is judged by Kor, the Immortal Spirit of the Dead agh Afterlife. If they deem the life honorable, they may enter the Stargush'Stroh agh stay eternally among the greatest orcs. In spite of what many globbish non-orcs might think, orkish honor is not about winning waghs and killing people; killing the weak is a sign of weakness agh covers ash with dishonor. Agh fighting against a stronger enemy is a mark of courage. Above all, inspiring others agh being diligent in the way of the spirits will draw their respect; many who seek to enter the Stargush'Stroh will try to be remembered as a vessel for the spirits in the mortal plane, agh spread the ways of ash or a few select spirits. Informant — Spuds @Turbo_Dog Writer — Gharak’Yar @Gomoore Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  11. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’Futh (XIV) — Ash’Kint’H’Ash’ty (CLX) D.A. ON KRUGSMAS The cold season is back As the snow silently falls on Aevos, the loud footsteps of war disappear into a thin echo; hidden under their thick white coats, every land, every city gets ready for the great festivities of the end of cactus-year… yes, Krugsmas is back! Krugsmas is a time for celebration across all of Aevos, where descendents are no longer judged by what nation they belong to, which side of the battlefield they stand on, for there are no more battlefields. Wars are paused, grudges erased agh peace brings people together. Usually, a great fir is erected in the centre of cities, so that people may leave gifts under them. For this purpose, people can usually visit cities… Warmongering territories are even expected to let their enemies in for Krugsmas —provided they come with gifts! Great fires are also often lit, agh all children gather around the fire to listen to stories told by the elders. Agh of course, Krugsmas is a season for fiesting agh praising Betharuz. Cookies, cakes, as well as turkeys agh roasts are often prepared to keep the hearts warm in the cold! We have enjoyed the celebrations so far— Agh can’t wait to see the rest of what people have planned this cactus year! KRUGSMAS ACROSS AEVOS Varied Celebrations But then again, each nation has their own ways of celebrating Krugsmas. In Krugmar, Krugsmas is when Popo Krugsmas visits orcs to give them gifts! This year, I also had the pleasure of learning of a rather new, blossoming tradition: Musmas! In the musin village of Babblebrook, the townsfolk are gathering to spend time together; cookies were exchanged, agh we enjoyed the company of friends agh family. Then we were invited to the outskirts of the village, where Sir Spuds had prepared sleds! We were lucky to have perfect weather: after a short heavy rain which left the grass wet agh muddy, the sky cleared up for some perfect sledding! I even got to see flying halflings! What does Krugsmas mean to you? But certainly the best way to celebrate Krugsmas is to share great moments with people! So the Kaktuz Weekli decided to ask the citizens of Aevos what Krugsmas means to them! First, what came up often is peace! Though I unfortunately have to admit that the Iron Horde has not kept its bloodlust tame, many among the Orcs were against the recent brutal events; "Orcs should not go raiding at this period, they should go and ejnoy this lovely season, spread love in the city, and show that we’re much more than the brutes humans and elves think we are!" — ash called. In Veletz, agh Nor-Velyath too, we heard that Krugsmas was "a great relief, even with war" agh wishes that "the war had been over before the holidays” Then of course, the gifts! "The act of giving in charity is an opposition to greed, a rot that plagues them!" a friend told me in Norland. "Everyone is freaking out preparing their trees, cookies and gifts!" — another voice cheered. Children were perhaps the most excited: "My daughters are really excited! I think this year will be good, despite the wars!" — "To me, it means very little— but it’s great for children! They get really excited by all the festivities and gifts, I love seeing their smiles!" another friend told me in Sulianpoli. Agh last but not least, pretty much everyash talked of the people they were going to meet again! For orcs, "it’s the days where all the clans finally gather and have some wholesome time" agh share "they lovely human and elf stew, stories and whatnot…" A Veletz citizen put it this way; "I love Krugsmas. To me it means family and friends more often than not." agh similarly in Celia’Nor agh Nor-Velyath we heard; "I’m really excited to spend time with my family!" — "Best thing about it is the people who you meet during that time." A sorvian told me also: "I will celebrate Krugsmas with a few other of my kind. I enjoy the look on people’s faces when they receive something. It is, well… Awesome." What more could we say? KRUGSMAS STORY Uggzak’s Big Red Scarf Uggzak’s favourite season had always been Krugsmas. Every H’ty years, the great cold wind swept over the world, covering hills agh cities in snow, agh the orcs would rejoice, spend tik together, play in the snow agh wait for Krug’s coming. Uggzak had a big red scarf. She got it from Krug himself on her ashst Krugsmas, agh ever since then, she kept it in her blargttic. Agh every Krugsmas season, she wrapped herself in the fuzzy cloth to keep her warm when she played in the cold snow. She enjoyed snowball klomps, snowblarging, agh most importantly snowrk-building. Every year she would make ash, giving it sticks for arms, agh pebbles for peepers. Ash day, as the snowy clouds slowly made their way across the skies, Uggzak went to her blargttic only to find that her scarf had vanished! She looked through every room of her blarg, every chest, every nook agh cranny… but the big red scarf was nubwhere to be found. When she tried going outside, it was so cold! She decided to spend the Krugsmas tik inside, agh knit a new scarf for herself. She spent days, weeks, months knitting the scarf; for it was a very big ash! Every now and then, she looked outside her window; snow was piling up, goblins were snowball-klomping… But she had not built a snowrk yet. When she was done knitting her scarf, it was already Krugsmas eve agh very late, so she decided to wait for the next morning. So on Krugsmas morning she wore her new scarf, agh when she opened her door… What a surprise! She found all her previous snowrks waiting for her. They were all sharing her old red scarf, agh it had made them come to life! Since that Krugsmas, Uggzak has a favourite day: Krugsmas day. She prepares a new scarf before the cold season, agh builds a new snowrk as soon as the ashst snow falls. She gives the new snowrk her scarf agh, on Krugsmas morning, her snowrks come to life so they can play together all day. To cover more news— agh do it better, the Kaktuz Weekli’s publishing team has grown! Please welcome our new informant, Spuds! Informant — Spuds Writer — Gharak’Yar Illustrator & Head publisher — Gharak’Yar
  12. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’Gakh (XIII) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’H’FUTH (CLIX) D.A. ORC POLITICS A New Clan in Krugmar In the holy deserts near San’Brîu, the endless caves still bear secrets that —it seems— only time will reveal to us. Ash of these secrets was the unexpected existence of an entire community of orcs agh former snagas [slaves; it is assumed that all former slaves are now honorary orcs] lurking, klomping, thriving in the deep caves below the now fallen Kazin’Kul Clan’s halls. But the goblins among them were curious, agh with Krug’s blood running through their hearts they found the courage to find the surface, agh so the Vinteki learned of our existence agh we of theirs. Upon hearing the Yar horn calling them to wagh, the Vinteki Clan fully surfaced to join the Iron Horde for the great future which awaits us. The Vinteki Clan, currently strong of roughly dub’ty [twenty] members, is said to soon grow with dozens more emerging from the innards of the desert. From their war-focused culture they formed a structured hierarchy; their wargoth Kezmur’Vinteki has dub lesser wargoths; Gazdul’Vinteki agh Klog’Vinteki — and I was able to meet the latter. “Yes, we are focused on wagh—” he blah’d me. “agh thus besides Krug we only worship Enrohk” he explained. Indeed, their clan culture seems focused on being “the very best at wagh”. Still, orcs from their clan who have been engaging with the rest of the Horde were seen tending to other shrines agh praising all great ancestors; as is the orcish way. A Vinteki Targoth Ash of those Vinteki’s who immediately meddled themselves with the Iron Horde is Apek’Vinteki, who claimed the Targoth position after Grimruk’Lur decided to let others try their hands at leading the Krug-hai [orcish military]. The new Targoth made his intentions clear; “I want to improve the orcs as a nation, especially military-wise—” agh blahing of the Covenant agh their allies; “—agh ZKAH on dem in this wagh.” Concerns were raised with Apek being a new member to the Iron Horde, agh indeed very young— to which he replied; “I have a lot of experience klomping, leading waghs— from duels agh banditism.” Of course, those who still feel like he is unworthy are welcome to take away his responsibilities after a klomp for his position. FOREIGN AFFAIRS Celia’nor leaves The League Concerning the war which opposes the Covenant of Five agh its allies —frankly most of Aevos— against The League of Veletz agh their loyal orcish allies. After dub victories for the Covenant, many on Veletz’ side felt overwhelmed; the numbers of the Covenant’s armies as well as their devastating siege weapons have taken a great toll on League forces. Celia’nor, which has sided with Veletz to honour a pact, has found themselves unable to uphold their side of the alliance. On the First Seed of last Cactus Week [Friday], Princess Illyra backtracked on her decision to engage Celia’nor into the wagh. The decision takes place in a time of great turmoil for the young elven nation —Celia’nor was restored in ash’kint’H’ty’gakh— ; agh the aforementioned Illyra has faced a strong illness which made her unable to rule. Though the succession is not yet established, I could blah with the current leader agh heir to the throne, Illthrak Ibarellan. “Of course I do not like the decision to leave this alliance. But my Haelun had to make a choice for the sake of our people. It still pains me to think about it.” he explained that they had no choice but to flee the wagh; “We really must ensure our people are safe: we were at the verge of total destruction! — And we had nothing to gain from this war. We were only dragged in because of a pact.” Though I would argue the glory of honouring a pact is always a gain worth countless bloodshed, it seems elves have different morals— agh I can only condone the will to defend ash’s own people. ORCISH CULTURE Spiritualism beyond Krugmar Spiritualism is often associated with orcs— agh indeed, it is a pillar of orcish culture. Yet, it is not exclusive to our glorious nation. Many elves also worship the spirits, agh the members of the shamanic Lodge were recently invited to a blahference hosted by the elven elder shaman, Ember; “As Farseer, as a speaker of our spirits, I deliver a small message, an advice, or maybe a lesson to those who come with doubts of the spirits.” she began. “Myself, and I’m sure many of you have experienced the fury of the spirits. Though we understand it, many argue that the spirits must be evil tyrants, and that no benevolent deities would endanger their own followers and practitioners” — “And in their perspective, they are probably correct; what would you say of rulers if you saw only their fury, pride and egocentrism? They would be tyrants and evil-doers in your eyes, and you would be right.” “This is what this sermon is about; Perspective.” She paused for a moment. “As a shaman, I have endured many methods in which the spirits punish, teach, and bless us. Every spirit —and every shaman— has their unique method, no two being the same.” — “To us, the spirits are no tyrants, for we have faith in what they give and what they take. But as farseers —and shamans— it is our duty to show the confused and sceptical that spirits, like what they think of their gods, are good deities; by giving praise to them they may treasure us with their blessings.” — “But no blessing comes free and —shaman or not— it starts with seeing the spirits in the right light, in the right perspective.” “I hope this talk convinced you that perspective means all.” she concluded. “I hope that with this in mind you may change your perspectives too, to better learn of the spirits, their stories and their blessings.” [A paragraph protrudes from the usual formatting, as if hastily added onto the last article] Though this is probably unrelated to Ember’s blah, I was informed that former Azulyte shamans —who were absent at the blahference— have turned their backs against the spirits to worship (possibly) the Dread Primarch. The situation is still uncertain, but azh thing is clear; they abandoned, insulted, betrayed the spirits, agh for that they must die. Do not expect updates on this from the Kaktuz Weekli, for the Lodge will surely quickly deal with those fools.
  13. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’Dub (XII) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’H’Gakh (CLVIII) D.A. FOREIGN AFFAIRS The War Continues A continuation of last cactus week’s events, where war tore the human nations. The Covenant of Five, comprised of Haense, Balian, Hyspia, Petra and Urguan attacked The League of Veletz as retaliation after the assassination of Aaun’s King by Veletz’s vassal city, Stassion. The battle in Veletz happened on the Sun’Smile. The Covenant rallied its armies, as well as its Vassals and allies; thus did Aaun, Norland and Numendil join them. Thousands rallied in a camp next to Breakwater keep, and readied their weapons. Numbers were not in favor of The League of Veletz, and they could only rely on their walls to aid them in this battle. But those walls did not last long, for the Covenant had brought plenty of siege weapons, trebuchets and canons. Artillery tore through the keep’s defences, and after breaching the walls in several areas, the attackers entered the city to engage the League in close combat. After a relentless fight, the Covenant prevailed and Breakwater keep fell to their hands. With this victory secured, the Covenant and their allies prepared for more bloodshed. It seems like they will be attacking again on the Grand Harvest. ORC OF THE WEEK Minto’Lur, the Shortest, and Greatest Orc Those who roam Krugmar are surely familiar with the great Minto’Lur. But to those who have not met the halfling-looking Orc, let me introduce you to one of the best— if not the best of us. Halflings are not those people would most expect to become honoraries. Could you tell us more on how you came to join the Iron Horde? “Yub! A while ago, I was banished from Elven lands over dumb elven zkah.” He explained. “In order to avoid buurz and the void, I came to the only people devoid of it; the Orcs. The Rex at the time promised to keep me protected so I have been here ever since. Lately I am working on improving McMintoes! Have you seen the new McRibs?” No, not yet— So you became a honorary orc. I am sure you inspire many who wish to walk your path; do you have any advice for them? “Well… I advice any future honorary that they eat plenty at McMintos’.” he declared. “A proud LUR owned business! We just got in our new speciality item: The McRibs!” I am sure they will enjoy it indeed. And you also joined clan Lur, could you tell us more about that? “So I love all things animals. Taming them, hunting them, all of it, yes. Lur was an easy choice to make in this aspect, as I am the best tamer in the city.” And, to prove his point, he showed me all the animals he was carrying; two caterpillars, a hermit crab and a pair of hamsters, as well as a beetle taller than himself. “I am the king of Hamsters!” he proudly announced, adding: “And this is just what I carry on myself!” Minto Showing off some great beasts he captured and tamed. Now, about your business. How’s McMintoes doing? Will you reveal to us the recipes that make your food so delicious? Is it orcish recipes, or do you use Halfling cooking methods? “Well, business is booming! A proud LUR owned business!” — “As for the recipes, I’ll say what it is definitely not made up of. It is definitely NOT made of elves who disrespected orcs, and most definitely NOT made of humans who spoke the Blah.” [Speaking Blah as a non-orc is an offense on the spirits] “To find the real secrets of McMintos food you would need to work there. Well, we are looking for an unpaid, overworked intern, yep! Also, try the new McRibs!” We have discussed this before, I unfortunately do not have the time to be an overworked intern. Is there anything else you’d like to tell our readers? “Yes! Lur on top! Try the new McRibs at McMintos! Farm Leather for the Horde, and donate it! For the Waghclaim!” — in typical orcish fashion. ON THE KAKTUZ It has come to my attention that some of those described as Kings in last week’s issue, —namely Heinrich II Lothar, and Frederick Aurelian— were not kings, but regents. I am unsure what this precisely means, or what the use of it is. I’d say if they rule, they are the ruler, and thus the King. Humans put too much effort into making fancy names for simple things. As mentioned in the previous issue, we are looking for informants for the Kaktuz Weekli. Some great people have contacted us, and, dear readers, we can’t wait to introduce them to you! More will be revealed in the next publications. Due to Krugsmas season approaching, the Kaktuz Weekli may see delay in future publications; fear not! We will try to publish at least once every other cactus week. As always, thank you for your support!
  14. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty’Azh (XI) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’H’Dub (CLVII) D.A. ORC POLITICS Klamor for a New Government A new Rex rose on the Throne. After challenging Grubnahk to a klomp [traditional fight] and winning the duel, a young orc took the previous Rex’s last breath— and with it the throne of the Iron Horde. Krugmar is now ruled by Grommash, and with the new leader many familiar faces came back to San’Brîu. The city has been bustling with life, and to ensure that he had the orcish population’s full support, Grommash immediately summoned a Klamor [public assembly]. The Klamor started with a short speech from the leader: “Today, I speak to the horde, to tell its future, and hear the mind of the people. I have a dream. I dreamt many nights of a strong horde, with great shamans and good orcs. But the horde is not the work of one orc; it belongs to each of us.” He then called forth contenders for the duties of Dominus, Targoth, Motsham. After two great klomps, where Kho’Gorkil won against Grothzark’Dom, and Grimruk’Lur defeated Himdokh, the new Orc Government was settled. The new Orcish Government (from left to right): the Rex, his right hand, the military leader and the spiritual guide Vassals were asked to reaffirm their allegiances, which they did; the Duchy of Redclyf-Rozania, Sulianpoli and the Alurians vowed to provide warriors and minae for the Horde’s protection. Two more matters were discussed; first on what to do in regards to Zkorkon’Ugluk the Inferi. While orcs never allow demons to roam their lands, Zkorkon has shown efforts to reform. The possibility that Shamanism might let us cure him also justified keeping him alive. The Rex spoke, and it was decided that until more research be conducted, Zkorkon would not be hunted down. Next, the right to klomp the Rex was discussed. It is indeed what has caused the Iron Horde to fall prey to Grubnakh’s inexperienced hands in recent history. So, after careful weighing of pros and cons, the following was decided. No vote would be held, but only those who hold a position of authority in the Orcish Government shall claim the Rex’s Throne. Positions of authority are the Dominus, the Targoth, and the Wargoths [leaders] of acknowledged clans —that is to say, a clan with at least 3 members present at Klamors. As a conclusion, Grommash announced that a great project would be started; with the help of the Ruka [artisans and builders], a new orcish capital will rise! San’Brîu will be demolished to make room for Orcgrimmar! FOREIGN AFFAIRS War on Aevos The human Kingdoms have seldom been so divided. Accusations of sin and heresy, murder and regicide, treason and murder have been thrown over and over again during the last cactus week. Though very entertaining, this mangled web of denunciations and the sheer number of parties involved has made seeking facts and true causes of the war difficult. The unrest between human nations and cities is not new; tensions rose each time a new alliance was created, threatening those outside it, tensions rose too when one city became vassal to a nation, changing once more its allegiance. As often, many people were surely waiting for an opportunity to turn the bickering into a full war. The opportunity came on the Sun’s Smile last cactus week; multiple leaders met to find an agreement that would satisfy all and maintain peace. This is when Frederick Aurelian, ruler of Stassion, decided to murder Aaun’s King Heinrich II Lothar, under whom he was a vassal. The cause for this act remains unclear. Frederick Aurelian did leave a letter to take full blame —even rejoicing— of this successful regicide and claim that he did a great service to the kingdom of Aaun; but this letter might be full of lies to protect his children and the people of Stassion he left behind in his run. But a king does not die without a bloodbath, and indeed many knights of Stassion were killed when other vassals of Aaun arrived and learned of the betrayal. Only one nation joined Stassion; many in Veletz saw the assassination as a welcome revenge, for they did not see Aaun’s alliances with their enemy Balian as a good omen. The League of Veletz also had religious quarrels with the rest of the canonist world as many in Veletz have been excommunicated from the Church of Canon —to which they responded… by burning a church. Both sides called upon their allies. Haense formed the Covenant of Five, uniting Haense, Balian, Petra, Urguan and Hyspia and vowed to destroy Veletz. The Leage of Veletz called upon Stassion, Celia’nor and Krugmar to join them, and both sides have been getting ready for a large assault, sometime in the next cactus days. The Covenant of Five (from left to right), leaders of: Haense, Balian, Hyspia, Petra and Urguan. The portraits of Aleksandr II and Adrian may be inaccurate; they were done by goblin trainees ORCISH CULTURE On the Motsham The horde has a new Motsham… but what is a Motsham? Madoc’Lur was kind enough to give us an interview, so he may explain his role to those unfamiliar with Spiritualism and Shamanic Culture. How would you describe the Motsham to non-spiritualists? “The Motzham is the spiritual leader of the shamans. In human terms, it might be like the shaman pontiff. But the Motsham's main duty is to ensure that the will of the spirits is followed and that the shamans aren’t corrupted by buurz.” —That is to say, darkness, or sin. During the Klamor, you have advocated for Skorkon the Inferi to be kept among us. Is he not buurz himself? “Yes, but Buurz can be cured with enough research. Shamanism can already cure vampires and voidal mages by visiting the realm of Scorthuz or receiving his blessing. However, certain areas have not been researched enough. I am a strong believer that with enough dedication we will be able to cure even the more severely afflicted like Skorkon.” “Orcs, honoraries, vassals of the Iron Horde as well as Shamans that belong to the Lodge —the Shamanic institute he has vowed to create— will be offered a cure and one chance to repent and correct their ways. If they refuse, then they will be killed. The shamans who are not part of the Lodge will not receive such second chances.” What will you, personally, do as the Motsham, beyond regular Motsham duties? “The main thing is that all buurs will be purged on sight. Simple as that. Should a shaman ever be turned against the spirits and become buurs or openily associate with buurs, they will be trialed and executed. Then there will also be regular darkspawn tests before every large shaman meetings to weed out the darkspawn snakes.” He also talked of his plans; “I am also overseeing the construction of the Lodge. But first, the shaman codes will be written to serve as a guiding principle for all lodge shamans. My goal will also be to make shamanism great again, because the previous Motshams either failed their duties by serving only their interests or were openly associating with buurz.” What are the relations between the Motsham and the Rex, with the political powers? “The Motsham should be in charge of spiritualism and the education of non believers in such. There is really no link with politics, since those are two different fields and as a former Dominus, I do not intend to get into politics again. It’s really a pain in the ass!” It is true that Motshams hold no power beyond that on guidance of the Shamans, but it should be noted that they often —and this has been the case during last Klamor— serve as an advisory to the Rex, a moral compass for fair and wise decisions. ON THE KAKTUZ The Kaktuz Weekli would like to welcome the National Elven News Association to Aevos! It is always great to see others go through the effort of gathering unseen information, hidden truths and bring them to the people. We will be reading your publications with great interest. The Kaktuz is also looking for fixers; people (ideally from outside of Krugmar) who will keep an eye on local news and inform of important events, or help investigations either by bringing their own stories, or by pointing to the right people for trustworthy information. Please get in touch with Gharak for these matters. We will also reinstate the subscription system that Kor’Garr had put in place. So, if you wish to have the Kaktuz Delivered right to your doorstep, please contact us. Thank you for reading! Yargoth Gharak
  15. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue Azhty (X) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’H’ (CLV) D.A. ORC POLITICS A Great Party in Krugmar! After last cactus week’s Klamor, as nobody claimed Rex Grubnakh’Lak’s seat as their own, the new Ologarchy of the Iron Horde seems to be firmly in place. The Vassals have accepted the new leadership, and orcish delegations went to lesser cities to demand tribute, which they have received after threatening them of War. Mog’Mog, an Olog and long-time scribe for Grubnakh’Lak, has initiated diplomatic relations with Urguan. He invited the leader of the dwarves of Urguan, Grand King Garedyn, on The Deep Cold [tuesday] to discuss an alliance with the Iron Horde. The dwarven king came with gifts of metal to Mog’Mog, and after a short conversation, they agreed to have at least a defensive alliance. Mog’Mog, however, advocated for a “Full Military Alliance” which he says Rex Grubnakh calls for, in order to “make a statement of true unity between Urguan and the Iron Horde”. To those unfamiliar with ologs, it should be pointed out again that this behavior is not normal. Grubnakh and Mog are, as far as our records go, the first and only ologs to seemingly easily read, write, and even carry out strategic operations. This Iron Alliance —between Urguan and the Iron Horde— also raises the question of Urguan’s diplomatic relations, as they are already allied with Haense and Hyspia, and have a non-aggression pact with Nor’Asath. Though Mog’Mog admitted that not much could be done against the Iron Horde’s bloodlustful nature, he has accepted that further discussion be held regarding the raids which often target those nations. Because “military alliances need to be approved by the moot” under dwarven laws, Grand King Garedyn has vowed to “hold a meeting to discuss the full alliance” with the King’s Court on the Grand Harvest [sunday]. At the time of publication, this should be next cactus day. To ensure good diplomatic relations between orcs and dwarves, Mog’Mog has offered the following; to organize a big party in San’Brîu, right before the King’s Court. And so the preparations began, and all of Urguan, as well as anyone who wishes to see how Orcs party are invited! There will be lots of “beer, yes, and the strong stuff!” Mog’Mog proudly announced. One should also expect cactus green and all the fine drugs that Krugmar produces! FOREIGN AFFAIRS A New Pontiff for the Canonist Church The Pontiff Sixtus the fifth passed away about two cactus months ago, and the Canonist Church has had no replacement so far. But after careful deliberation, it seems the College of Cardinals —those who elect the Pontiff— have come to a decision and elected one of them, Father Arnaud as their new Pontiff. And so, Father Arnaud, born Arnaud Constantine Novellen, who is currently Archbishop of Albarosa, will soon be Pontiff, with a new name which currently remains undisclosed. The pontifical Coronation will be held this cactus day [Friday 17 Nov.] in the Temple of the Exalted Prophets of the Canon in Aaun. Father Arnaud has been kind enough to take the time to answer a few questions for the Kaktuz Weekli. Could you describe to our readers what the role of the Pontiff is? What duties do you have towards Canonists, and non-Canonists? “The Pontiff, —also known as High Pontiff— is the leader of our religion. You could say I will be the leader of our organization of priests. But the Pontiff is also the Vicar of God. It means I will represent God once I am officiated in my role.” — “To canonists it is essentially the personification of our faith and religion, and to non-canonists…” he paused. “I suppose one could say my duty is to try to convert them… or otherwise guide them morally.” What are your aspirations as the soon-to-be Pontiff? Do you wish to reform the Canonist Church, and in which ways? “I hope to be a unifying figure for the various canonist realms, as they has been trouble brewing and not every nation has been particularly happy with the Church’s diplomacy in recent years. I also wish to finish some of the projects that my predecessor started, like reforming our religious laws and the way the Church is run.” “I also wish to start great construction works to relocate the Holy See” —the capital of Canonism— “Currently, it is inadequate; it is small, not very providing… Founding a church state is not out of the question either.” What are your thoughts on Pontiff Sixtus V’s legacy? As you certainly know, he had vowed to improve the clergy’s teachings, and to spread the Canonist faith. And for a more personal question, what would you say are your dreams? “I believe that my predecessor, Sixtus the fifth, was a good Pontiff for the time he was around. Sadly, due to health issues, he was absent for most of his pontificate. But I share one of those dreams with him: I want to strengthen people’s faith.” “As a priest, people currently call me Father, and as High Pontiff I will be the Father of all of the Canonist world. As a father I will be kind and compassionate with my children, because I want to see them grow. But to help his children grow a father must also be strict sometimes. I’ve decided I am sick of part time believers, the kind that are devoted when they are in a church or with a priest, but who turn their back on God and do bad things when they think God can’t see them.” After a moment, he concluded; “My dream is to bring canonists from all nations together as one big family and to reinvigorate our church. For too long we have been stagnant, absent, withdrawn from the world and uninspiring. I want to be a Pontiff of action. I think a lot of our more devoted followers are quite ready for some action.” ORCISH CULTURE Greater Spirits: Meet Freygoth! Orcs are Spiritualists; this means we worship the spirits which inhabit, or represent various aspects of the material plane. An orc who has displayed exceptional virtue, or quality and dedication to an art can also become a spirit. Those ancestors who keep inspiring us become ancestral spirits and receive worship from those who wish to pursue their art. The spirits are of various types; those who represent elements are known as Greater Elemental Spirits, those who ascended —as described above— are Ancestral Spirits. Then, Greater and Lesser Immortal Spirits govern concepts or emotions. Today, we will focus on one of the Greater Immortal Spirits: Freygoth! Freygoth is the spirit of the Wild, Nature and Animals. She is often depicted as a caring nature with a motherly face. She is a Greater Immortal— meaning she has Lesser Immortals who serve her, much like Vassals to a Nation. Laklul, the spirit of swamps, is certainly the most widely known Lesser Immortal under Freygoth. However, worshippers of Laklul often despise Freygoth; they say that Laklul should be a Greater Immortal, and that Freygoth holds Laklul prisoner in the Lesser status. Worshippers of Freygoth value life and nature; unlike many spirits, sacrifices to Freygoth would certainly yield nothing but her rage. A more sensible approach is to dedicate ponds or parks to her name, restore or foster nature around her shrines, and, generally, caring for creatures around oneself.
  16. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! Issue H’Futh (IX) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’Futh (CLIV) D.A. INVESTIGATION: DESERT SHENANIGANS Meeting a new Civilisation Near the orcish lands of Krugmar, explorers from the horde have made a surprising discovery; an unmet civilization was hiding in the sands. Obok Metaldrinks, who has been part of most exploration parties, and dealing with these people for some time, arranged an opportunity for me to meet and discuss with them. And so I was led into a network of caves under a mountain, and there I was warmly greeted by the warriors of Hakesh and the Aeternum Automatons. Indeed, the civilization is of two races; the Hakeshites are human descendents while the automatons are centuries-old mechanical constructs. The Hakeshites came from the same lands as us, but after the various migrations, they found themselves separated from the bulk. From what I could recollect from the warden Ilakeer, they discovered Aevos shortly after leaving Arcas. For those unfamiliar with our history, we —the descendants— have gone through several great migrations due to cataclysmic events; the latest one had us flee from Almaris to Aevos after an invasion. But before settling on Almaris, our elders lived on Arcas. The migration from Arcas marked the beginning of the Second Age. As I discussed with the Elder Automaton, I was told they were created by an Elven inventor. They had, at first, nothing to do with the Hakeshite humans, only they joined these people to help them: for this is what the automatons have been designed to do. And so their cohabitation began, though it quickly devolved into an aggressive one. Cultural misunderstandings, unprompted and excessive help from the automatons and diverging positions among the Hakeshites created divides so harsh they led to massacres and the Elven Creator's death, after which many humans and automatons left to settle elsewhere.massacres Though they had lost nearly half their population, the remaining Hakeshites found this satisfactory —at first. Soon enough they would learn of what the others had been up to: in their attempt to create more automatons they had tainted their hands with the darkest magics, trying to brew up life to serve them, capturing and enslaving souls. The automatons who had accompanied the sinful humans would later be known as the Kinslayers, for obvious reasons. When they met with the Aeternum Automatons, they only saw them as an opportunity to gather more slaves; and terrible fights ensued. Although most of their forces have been dealt with, 3-CK —another lovely automaton— told me some Kinslayers remain, and they roam the nearby seas with a fleet of armed ships. Any help to defeat them would be greatly appreciated. If you wish to learn more, I can only recommend you meet them too. Soon, books will be published, retelling their long and windy history. [contact Daengie for more] ORC POLITICS An Olog becomes Rex Continuing on last cactus week's events, where concerns about the respect of our traditions, harsh treatment towards vassals, and distrust in the Rex Kybal'Akaal and his clan caused instability and threats of rebellion in Krugmar. Somehow, it seems bloodshed was avoided. The then-Rex Kybal'Akaal addressed the Iron Horde on the 7th of the first seed. He accused the rebels of being a foreign force, orcish only by their representatives. He also reminded his people that he had not refused anyone a duel, but rather simply followed the laws implemented by his predecessor Al-Borok'Akaal. Still, Kybal acknowledged the power stacked against him; deeming that the rebels would be out to assassinate him if he were to participate in —and win— a duel, he decided to exile himself from orcish lands. In his final statement, he appointed Grubnakh'Lak as new Rex of the Iron Horde. Rex Grubnakh'Lak immediately took the position, and vowed to forge a renewed great era of war. He started with an open hand for reconciliation and unity; washed all who had served the previous Rex of grudge, and called for vassals to reaffirm their allegiance to the Horde. It should be noted that this is an exceptional event, for Rex Grubnakh is an olog. Ologs —for unfamiliar readers— are one of the tree subraces of Orcs; goblins, uruks, and ologs. They are taller, stronger, and dumber than uruks, even more so for goblins. Though they are not explicitly deprived of their right to claim the Rex position, their limited, often child-like intellect and associated absence of ability —or will— to govern has kept them away from leading Krugmar up until now. Zkorkon'Ugluk seemed satisfied with the turn of events. "He will make a good Rex" he said, and though he might challenge him later, for now "it is far more interesting to lay witness [to the start of] the Ologarchy". This position seems to reflect a large part of the Horde, which welcomed change with open hands. Surely we will learn more at the next Klamor. It will be held cactomorrow. ORCISH CULTURE Cooking: Skalezid Krispy Kookiez Oh, how refined the Orcs are! One might not know how diverse their cooking is, and what great tasteful dishes they can make from the gifts of the desert. But this shall change today. See for yourself! Today's recipe: Scalecid Crispy Cookies! Ingredients: 1 scalecid, preferably young and freshly harvested 6 eggs (optional) Preparation: Prepare a cauldron and put some water to boil. Skin the scalecid and keep the meat separately. Chop the hide and bones into pieces. This process can be tedious, especially if the scalecid is not fresh or too mature. If that is the case, you can use a mortar and sledgehammer to grind the thick hide down to pieces. Once the bone hide is reduced to the size of pebbles, chuck it in the water, and place a lid on the cauldron. While the scalecid bones soften, tenderize the meat down to a paste. You may add eggs at this step; if you chose to do so, wash the egg shells and add them to the boiling pot. Form cookie shapes from this meat dough. The cookies can be left to dry, or —if you are trying the eggless recipe— slightly grilled in an oven. After a day, you will have a broth with delicious scalecid chips. Sift them out, and sprinkle them on the cookies. That's it! You can now enjoy delicious scalecid crispy cookies! It has come to my attention that in last issue, Rex Grubnakh was described as part of plan Ugluk. My apologies for this mistake; Rex Grubnakh is part of clan Lak. For any requests, remarks or information, please contact Gharak'Yar or leave a letter at the Kaktuz Weekli offices at the Library of Barbog, San’Brîu Krugmar. Yours ,Gharak
  17. Newspapers are spread throughout Aevos. They’re made of two sheets of cheap paper, simply stacked and folded together and yet they are surprisingly colorful, with doodles and familiar drawings! Could this be… no way! The return of… Issue H’Gahk (VIII) — Azh’Kint’H’ty’Gakh (CLIII) D.A. ORC POLITICS Rebellion against Clan Akaal Krugmar has recently been torn by a political and military crisis, the outcome of which remains uncertain as part of the population formed rebellious forces which threaten to lead a coup. Let’s look at the events that lead to this turmoil. There has been social unrest in Krugmar for a while; several cactus weeks at least, if there was ever a time of complete stability. Scattered voices have expressed concerns about the orcish society drifting away from its core culture, away from the path of Spirit and Krug’s ways. It is undeniable; Krugmar has opened to other cultures, and adopted some codes. One such example is the ashtkaar system implemented in Klamors, where clan leaders and members of the government hold a vote for important decisions. As a response to this ever growing feeling of disconnect with Krug’s values, some have attempted to restore a form of orcish purity and tradition. Two cactus weeks ago, Grimruk’Lur, claimed the position of Krimpgoth through a glorious duel. This position allowed him to revoke the honorary title awarded to non-orcs who embrace our ways. All honoraries were stripped of their title —except for a select few— and required, if they wished to regain it, to go through the honorary trials once more. This has unsurprisingly triggered a wave of anger from many previously-honoraries, in particular from the Bronze Band: a clan of elven honoraries, vassal under Krugmar. Distrust against the ruling orcs grew with several accusations against Clan Akaal. Drus, a former member of the Akaal Clan, has denounced shamanistic and spiritual practices within the clan which some believe to be buurz; that is to say sinful and breaching of strong orcish taboos. Though members of the Akaal Clan have either denied practice of these rituals —An old rex could have said, “LIES AND SLANDER”—, or dismissed accusations as misunderstandings of legitimate traditions, there is no denying that this has further divided the orcish community. The last nail to the coffin was probably the aforementioned ruling on Ashktaar— which now states that one may not klomp (fight) for the title of Rex unless half of the clan leaders deem the pretending orc worthy to inherit the title. While democratic systems are not incompatible with traditional Orcish ways, the Klomp for Rex has always been seen as a fundamental guardrail to ensure no tyrant hoards power, and the old orcish proverb “Might Makes Right” still resonates with many. To address these, a Klamor —deliberative congress— was held last cactus week, but it failed to appease tensions, and has in fact exacerbated divisions. Two people demanded to klomp the Rex Kybal’Akaal for his title; Bullgoth Skorkon’Ugluk (previously known as the Brazen Bull) and Grubnakh, an olog also from clan Ugluk. The clan leaders voted, as is the law, and the two were denied their duels. This sparked a fight, which degenerated into an attempted coup. It is unclear whether it was premeditated, as it might have spontaneously erupted, but it failed either way, only resulting in a minor fight. The Rebelling forces quickly escaped, and are yet to make another move. The Rebels are roughly composed of an alliance of Clan Ugluk, led by Skorkon and Grubnakh, the Bronze Band, various human and previously-honorary vassals of the horde, as well as some individual Orcs who took it as an opportunity to rid Krugmar of the corruption they see in Clan Akaal. Ironically, Grimruk’Lur is one of them, and is now siding with humans and elves which he declared lessers mere cactus weeks ago. However, he has not been secretive about his plans to leave this alliance as soon as it does not serve his agenda. FOREIGN AFFAIRS A Cure for Degeneracy? Tensions rose recently around bathhouses. Although these traditional establishments have been central to many cultures, there seems to have been numerous cases of misconduct within them. This behavior has been denounced in a statement by orkish chieftain Grimruk’Lur, who has declared war on what he calls degeneracy; bathhouse parties where “acts that should not be spoken of” are allegedly encouraged. The Canonist Church has also been said to denounce the impure nature of bathhouses that teem with scandalous incentives, though after discussing with a paladin, I could not find evidence of such a stance. Either way, there seems to be an outrage towards these establishments; “Anything bathhouse related, I’m going to make sure it caves in!” I was told in another conversation. In an attempt to maintain hygiene while satisfying everyone, King Cyris has proposed a great innovation; the construction of a water park by the beaches of the halfling city of Dunfarthing. The King has big plans; “It’s gonna have slides, a pool, a lazy river, turtles — Giant turtles!” he said, before adding that the park will also feature a “helter skelter”: a tower supporting a spiralling water slide. Though there is currently no fixed date for the grand opening —it is still in design phase—, the king of the Halflings has promised that the park will be a place “for everyone to enjoy water-filled fun […] so long as they do not cause trouble or worship Iblees or, even worse, Arugula.” He also vowed to make the water park completely free; “charging for entry would be choosing to make people smell!” he simply explained. ON THE KAKTUZ WEEKLI Returning with a New Journalist Ug dere! I am Gharak’Yar, a scholar in orcish social studies and philosophy, and disciple of Kor’Garr! With the founder of the Kaktuz Weekli retiring, I have been honoured to inherit this treasure of orcish culture, and I hope I will live up to the expectations of its readers! And so after several cactus months of absence, the cactus weekly returns! I hope to pursue Kor’Garr’s goals of bringing clear, diverse and fresh information to the public of Krugmar and the whole continent of Aevos! I hope to publish The Kaktuz Weekli… every cactus week, so keep your eyes peeled! Though they will not be featured every week, I also plan on bringing back all your favourite sections; Orcish Culture, Cooking, Orc of the week, and more! Next week: an in-depth investigation on Desert Shenanigans. Feel free to send me a bird to request investigation on specific topics! You can also leave a letter in the Kaktuz Weekli Headquarters in the Library of Barbog, San’Brîu, Krugmar. Ideas and help are always welcome and appreciated! Peep latz! –Gharak
  18. Buck

    BUK NOOS..?

    You have found a 'buck noos' left at your doorstep. The drawings are so vivid.. you can almost see it as buck pictured it in his mind... most interesting. (Click link for buck news!)
  19. Vaskan Chronicles VOL.,ii...NO.II ORIGINAL ORIGINAL PRICE: 0.00 MINA Growth Since the last Vaskan Chronicles, there have been enormous changes within the community. To start, Jan Arpad and Cressida Marie are now the Duke and Duchess of the Duchy of Stran. This newspaper company will continue to use the name Vaskan to remain humble to the roots of our dear home. All of these paintings show numerous moments within the community. From a simple tavern night to waiting to become a Duchy at court… Shall the citizens within our great Duchy remain united and prosper continuously. As seen within these paintings, our community thrives upon the work of each singular member. None greater than the next. The trio within the fourth painting show their unity as they fought against Scary Bear! Shall those pesky bears stay away! Any animal for that matter needs to stay away as issues with mountain lions have been quite troublesome too! The citizens of this Duchy proudly attend events as a whole. While we enjoy our fun and adventures with one another, it is important to the community to show our loyalty to our dear Kingdom of Aaun. The second and last painting represent members of the community sitting at court and the other at a Mass. Shall GOD bless us all. Written by Myrilla Petrov “Slava GODANISTAN i Rodine” Glory unto GOD and to the Motherland Vaskan Chronicles Volume II Animal Issue? Massive Hunts Each Year The citizens of the Duchy have been so brave as they have faced tigers, lions, and bears! Oh my! Names have been given to a few of them such as Scary Bear, Rock Bear, Tunnel Bear, Terrific Tiger, Malicious Lion, and more. Pelts of the bears can be found around the town. A few of the most notable citizens and allies who protected this fine town are Ser Viktor Ratispora, the Petrov family, the Ivanovich family, Sir Heinrich von Alstreim, Giraudus, Rassvet Senko, Anya Volkov, and Trowlen Denwel. Their contributions to the safety of the city have been on point! If anyone is interested in joining in, specifically protecting and fighting for the Duchy of Stran, contact Arpad Ivanovich! He is the Ataman of the Host which means he controls The Host of St. Arpad of the fine Duchy of Stran. Though, of course, anyone is allowed to join in on these hunts without being a part of the guard force! Vaskan Chronicles Vaskan Chronicles Volume II Spotlight on a Vaskan Daughter of the current Ataman of the Duma, Urzula Petrov has been instituted as the new Ataman of the People. The Ataman of the People is in charge of keeping the town alive and bubbly with newcomers, current citizens, and drawing in other citizens of Aaun. Miss Urzula can be found either around the city, by mail, or in the Petrov manor near the town. She currently owns the main tavern of the city and is building a fight pit underneath to bring more activities for all citizens to enjoy! Please contact Urzula Petrov if you need help around the city or if you would like to work in the tavern! Vaskan Chronicles Volume II Canonist Faith What are Holy Scrolls? The Holy Scrolls are a set of four scrolls containing the Word of God as delivered to His prophets over the course of history. The first scroll, the Scroll of Virtue, was delivered to Exalted Horen at the beginning of the ages and defines the universal laws of morality. The second scroll, the Scroll of Spirit, was delivered to Exalted Owyn during a time of sinful heathenry and defines the nature of God. The third scroll, the Scroll of Gospel, was delivered to Exalted Godfrey during his uniting of the human race and recounts the history of the faith. The final scroll, the Scroll of Auspice, was delivered to Exalted Siegmund after he divided Church and State, and prophesies the coming of the last days. Recipe of the Week: Zefir is a soft confectionery made by whipping fruit and berry puree with sugar and egg whites with subsequent addition of a gelling agent like pectin, carrageenan, agar, or gelatine. RECIPE: The baker will need to begin prep work to begin. Ensure to wash the mixer bowl with white vinegar and soap to make sure that it is not greasy; if the bowl is greasy, the egg whites will form stiff peaks and will cause them to go flat. Cover a large work space with a cloth and prepare a large, 18-inch bag for frosting. Once preparation is finished, combine a ¼ cup of water with a gelatin powder. Stir and heat it up until the gelatin dissolves completely and then set it aside. It should take around 1 ½ minutes. Afterwards, place the egg whites until stiff peaks form. Leave them in a mixer bowl. Next, prepare the gelatin base! Heat the mixture on low heat on a stove top, stirring constantly, until the water thickens into a jelly texture. Set a timer for two minutes as soon as the mixture turns into an applesauce consistency. Continue to stir constantly and after two minutes, add a half cup of sugar during such. Stir until the sugar is absorbed, then add more sugar. Keep stirring! Once the mixture begins to boil, cook it for another two minutes then remove it from the heat. While it is aside, mix and fluff the egg whites. Pour the hot sugar syrup into the egg whites and mix! Whip it for a minute until the egg whites have combined and add lemon juice and more gelatin. Whisk for eight to ten more minutes and then the marshmallow will need to be super stiff, glossy, and cooled! Begin to form small meringues next! Zefir is usually shaped like a shell, but the baker can form circles or towers. All need to be 1 ½ to two inches in diameter from each other on the pan. Let the marshmallow stand for around thirty minutes. After the timer, place the confectioners’ sugar and cornstarch into a fine strainer or flour sifter and dust the top of the Zefir generously. Then let it sit for another thirty minutes. Use a flat spatula to carefully lift the Zefir from the wrap. Pair two pieces together to form the traditional Zefir shape. Place all of them on one layer and cover loosely with a thin sheet. Let it set overnight. It will last for three to four days at room temperature. Other occupations: Host of St. Arpad Medical Guide Trading Company Workers Bartenders Assistants for any of the Rada Vaskova Council Members Teachers Courtly Duties Newspaper Writers
  20. 【♢ -♢- ♢】 Bundles of newspapers would be spread throughout Almaris for all to see. While written cleanly and vividly upon dense sheets of high quality parchment, the pages of blocky script would also be covered in scribbled cute doodles! Including the wonderful BRAND! The floral berry smell of jungle inks wafts pleasantly from each heavy page. This must be... 【♢ -♢- ♢】 Vol. Futh (IV) Azh’Kint’Azhty’Futh (CXIV) (114), Second Age ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ As promised, Kor’garr needs to explain what happened to delay last year's paper. Simply put, a select few from the Iron Horde, including Kor’garr and the Rex, were invited to investigate and help reclaim the ruins of Khron’Hundmar at the behest of Qudlia Jusmia. After much travel, over 30 brave adventurers were assembled at the entrance to the cavern, a mighty cacophony of Stouts in plate, elven archers, a few… voidal mages. And even a mighty animated golem of stone and rune crafting. After some exchanges of various supplies and meals to fend off the cold (Kor’garr handed out an Orcish Delight to the Dwed known as Dor’Nal Hammerfist, who greatly enjoyed scarfing down the delicious treat in several massive bites), as well as various prayers to the honored Spirits and the Brath’Mordakin, we made our descent. Immediately, dark tidings were known amongst the warband. Massive spiders and tangled webs had taken residence within the top floor! Kor’garr’s position in the front line alongside the Golem allowed for others to deliver fatal blows to the Olog sized monstrosities of Kinul, and no major injuries were taken. The Rex and Golem notably struck clear killing blows upon these arachnids. After some debates about the nature and origins of such beings, the relationship between the Orcish and Dwarven pantheons, and a small history lesson about Orgon (may it never return to the Ugz), the rest of the halls were cleared until at the bottom depths of the mines a previously undiscovered cave in halted progress. Kor’garr must admit, seeing the coordination of the Ztowtz in their hasty excavation of the path forward was a beautiful experience. Damona and Rylanor Goldhand, Norli Starbreaker, Durin Hammerforge and Klouf Grimgold are all experts in mining and shifting the earth, especially in time with their ancestral songs. Unfortunately what awaited beneath was not so lighthearted in the slightest… A cavern horridly deep below the surface, infested with nightmarish amalgamations of insect and pulsing flesh. Giant fire beetles that could launch themselves, hydra like worms that spat corrosive acid, and Kor’garr personally contested against a pallid lurker of four meters in length. Blades clashed, magic was cast, and injuries of all sorts were taken as the party of Gahk’ty (Thirty) fought to survive against these terrifying monstrosities… And then the rumbling. A massive trench of darkness, chitinous legs, and swarming insects parted ways to reveal a beast of Buurz and Grizh the size of a building… A corrupted lurker broodmother, each leg the size of an Olog and easily a good Futh’ty meters in length, covered in swollen veins and dripping in potent toxic ooze, crushed several dwarves against the crumbling cavern walls with its mere presence. Kor’garr attempted to climb the creature to no avail, merely being drenched in the corrosive numbing slime until hearing a horrid crack echo through the cavern. The party was calling for retreat, the entire cave system threatening collapse… and a Zharan tonne of armored firebeetle had juzt crushed the Rex, crumpling his armor and ribcage into a mangled mess. Kor’garr’s entire body went numb as he, along with Qudlia with her blessings from Akezo being shouted at full volume, spent precious minutes carrying the shattered form of flesh and enchanted armor up through the trembling underground Goi. A dwarf, anchored against the titanic beast with a misthrown tanglefoot potion, screamed in despair and resolve as he was left behind… Time became a blur for me from that point on. All I know, aside from the feeling of melting in Kor’garr’s own weighted and spirit blessed full plate, trapped in an inescapable prison of agonizing slime, is that through some miracle of the Spirits this mere Clanless orc somehow made it to the surface with the Rex in tow and alive before falling to a paralyzed heap underneath gloomy clouds and pouring rain. The goi of Khron’Hundmar was devoured. Not by the worm, but some new swarm of horrific insects. Only after heavy healing from the blessed Jusiam Quzmia did Kor’garr even lay eyes upon the collapsed mountain of rubble, or have the strength to write once more. The Kaktuz Weekli is dismayed to announce this new threat to all the beings of Almaris. Doom approaches, and it is not from the Necromancers or a dragon corpse. It rises from beneath. After writing this Article it is revealed the Dwarf attached to that Broodmother somehow survived, and is now some sort of prophet. Truly, the one known as DURIN AKRAKTHREIN HAMMERFORGE has been blessed with the boon of Ghorza’s luck. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ As some of you readers have seen, there was recently a massive incident between our new Rex Ar-Borok’Akaal and the Motsham Al-Uk’Yar of the Grand Moot, where he and several others made a public statement accusing our leader of… well, a lot. These various accusations were then followed by a lengthy list of demands including his resignation from the Rexdom, a subsequent trial, and even the threat of a Civil Wagh were said demands not accepted. In their words, “Should the Bûrz Rex fail to descend within the next cactus day a combined force of the Bronzen Band lead by the Honorable Pamphilios, The Ashen State of Nor’Asath lead by its Primarch, Netseth Loa’Chil, As well as a combined warband of the faithful uruks, elf spawn and other Bûrz hunting Orders or Entities shall cascade upon the Rex Palace and purge the Bûrz away.” This public missive, signed by multiple spiritual authorities including but not limited to Murdoc’Lak the Aengulslayer, Netseth Loa’chil the Primarch of Nor’Asath, and Pamphilos of Sulianopoli, created bub’hozh amounts of civil unrest within San’Velku… For nub’Uruks that means many angry shouts, a few fistfights, and even some weapons being drawn out of scabbards. Thankfully, Kor’garr was present when Rex Ar’Borok announced an emergency gathering in the Hall of Rexes for this conflict to be resolved honorably before any Uruk blood was spilled by the blade of fellow kin. The air within San’Velku’s keep was horridly tense, irritable Ologs and hot headed Raguks clamoring to make themselves heard over the riotous clamor. Kretz’Ox and Qudlia Jusmia stepped forth to state at least some of the accusations were outdated, considering their recent trip alongside the Rex to the Lesser Immortal Spirit of Orcish purity Dûthsharkû, and only then did the main opposition towards the Rex arrive, the Motsham himself, in heavy robes and bearing a gnarled staff. Both the Armored Akaal and the Robed Yar hurled insults and frustration at each other, both insulted by the lack of honesty and clarity in the other’s actions… Azh by Azh each point within the original missive was addressed. A wave of vampirism within San’Velku in years past, the nature of how the Rex views the spirits, a lengthy discussion about the Brazen Bull and his status as Buurz or not… At one point, the young cub known as Kuvirr proposed the excellent idea of The Motsham and Aengulslayer acting as advisors to the rex in a more official capacity, an option immediately accepted with great enthusiasm by those within the Hall. With tensions settling and promises of greater clarity exchanged, Rex and Motsham approached each other with daggers in hand and grins upon their weathered faces. The Rex: “Grîzh hûl grîzh hôn. Urûkim grîzh. Hôn izû Kinul, Scorthuz, Leyd ûgh Freygoth. Hôn izûbu grîzh ah-âsh, KRUG” And the Motsham’s response: “Beahr latz palm Borok ob deeh Akaal, Zo wi kan bi bruddahz.” Blood was drawn and palms pressed against each other by a display of ultimate trust not seen in generations. With the chanting of Uld Blah and the mingling of ancestral blood, the two Uruk leaders were bound to each other in an ancient ritual of brotherhood, to show their reforged honesty and unity! A massive chant echoed throughout the air above San’Velku: “Azh'Grish, Azh'Horde, Azh'Voyce!” The topic of Agis Penweather and his conflict with the Rex was also mentioned, leading to the, somehow mutual, breaking of the Albai’s arm and his consequent loss of consciousness in the middle of the Hall. After a lengthy celebration from the resolved conflict, a joint missive was published by both the Grand Moot and the Iron Horde in order to settle any ongoing sentiment of frustration or perceived slights. The statements include a mutual recognition of authority between the Rex and Motsham in their duties and authority concerning both the Iron Horde and Grand Moot, a dismissal of the previous accusations from both parties, a formal agreement to cure the now verified ‘buurz’ being known as The Brazen Bull, and of course an official announcement of the newly made blood bond between Ar-Borok’Akaal and Al-Uk Yar. With this possible schism resolved through Truth and Honorable conduct, a bright future is shown for the Iron Horde! P.S. Kor’garr must note that while Krug-kind does struggle with the curse of Bloodlust, our own governmental conflict was handled with far greater efficiency than the events concerning a certain Zhara kingdom to the East. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ This whole article started with a single legal document read by Kor’garr, a summons of one Jovennar Bishop of Haense, to the court over allegations of some botched trial. Suddenly I was reading through demands from children to kings, allegations of adultery between two male Zharas (which Kor’garr still doesn’t peep the issue about the choice of partner there?), and an absolute riot of a court transcript. Simply put? The legal court of Haense is a mess, and that’s from us here at Krugmar. We don’t even have written laws at the moment. In a message to the king, three young kubs are demanding reparations for being unable to sit in as the audience of an ongoing trial. This is already concerning, as hiding the judgement of the Truth behind closed doors allows for lies and dishonor of the most heinous kind. Worse yet is the preferential treatment given to certain children due to their family line, a strange human practice that is quite useless. Cubs are cubs, they should be taught and protected equally instead of being bullied by armed adults. Moving on, the summons over the case of Alejandro Sands was due to a severe… mess. This Jovennar Bishop was being summoned to “explain himself”, which we all gruk in human terms means to stand there while someone with a crown yells at you over what you zkah’d up on. Again, the happenings of a strangely private court hearing were questioned, and the mention of spectators not being protected by guards and robbed in front of the courthouse are hilariously laughable. Was no one carrying a proper stabba’ to defend themselves? On that note, why were these bandits in the middle of the Hanseti capital not executed? While Kor’garr does not wish to re-write the entire transcript, it is available from the Haense government archives and I highly recommend giving it a glance-over. There are misused legal terms, a defenestrated Olog, an apparent riot, children throwing fish, and more. An excellent comedy script if I have ever peeped one. Despite the humorous tone, this is sadly no laughing matter, for shortly after was the honorable soul Audo Weiss, a veteran who helped defend all of Almaris against the undead Cloudbreaker, summoned to the court for "assult", again in a case taken by this Jovenarr. Over self defense against a stranger to the nation. Again, Kor’garr is baffled by the sheer lack of common sense in the Haense courts… Thankfully, Kor’garr has some ‘hozh news. After being summoned by both the Knightly Council of Haenseti-Ruska and the crown, the former Jovenaar Bishop has been stripped of his job, office, fancy knight titles, and political or legal authority in one fell swoop. In quite the appropriate move, the official notice from the knighthood stated Bishop’s breaking of their code of chivalry, which I imagine to be much like the Kodes of Krug except not quite as high in standard compared to the Descendant race literally blessed with being Honorable. Similarly the Crown made a good decision for twice (once being their support in the Siege of Shattered Skies), explaining that.. “With the distrust of the citizens of Hanseti-Ruska towards the nominated Jovenaar, he could no longer continue rightfully in his role as an appointed Jovenaar of the nation.” Let’s all hope the Truth is brought to light more quickly in the future, nub? In the meantime maybe Kor’garr should write up a formal record of laws in the Iron Horde… ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Ah, Yub, the Uncooked Orcish Delight. While a delicacy amongst the children of Krug, it can be seen as savage, barbaric, or heinous to those without more open minded sensibilities concerning appetite. Simply put, the Orcish Delight is a traditional meal or snack of a whole, freshly slaughtered, raw poultry. Of course this seems disgusting by itself to any foreign readers, so rest assured that this wonderful treat is actually the pinnacle of fine dining despite any crude appearance. First, the chicken is slaughtered and the raw poultry plucked and blessed in the name of Glutroz, the spirit of gluttony and greed, for his appetite is what leads to the eventual mouthwatering savory tang. Afterwards, the infusion must be prepared, for that is what makes this dish truly special. Fresh blood from an Albai soldier, a captured elf that has waged against the Iron Horde, is taken in ritual sacrifice to the Major spirit Gazigazh, also known as the Blood Mother. The vital crimson brine is collected into a large cast ferrum cauldron, into which crushed desert berries, thinly sliced and harshly spicy peppers, and some powders such as cinnamon and peppercorn are all mixed. The bundles of avian meat, still uncooked, are submerged completely into this metallic culinary jus for an entire Kaktuz day as shamans then perform multiple rituals in honor of the ancestral spirits of Grubgoths who have created this amazing delicacy in the past until finally seeking the blessing of the ancestral Grubgoth Wud, to properly anoint the now thoroughly crimson meat. Immediately after removal these rare treats are wrapped up within wax paper and stored in frigid areas to prevent spoiling, if not consumed immediately after the taxing rituals. In terms of taste, the Orcish Delight has an avian meat base that is almost overpowered with the delicious coppery tang of Albai blood. Notes of sweetness from the ripe desert berries balance perfectly with the searing heat from those split open seeds within the harsh peppers, and an undertone of bitterness from the peppercorn lays beneath the umami of uncooked flesh. Once you bite in, the crimson stain from infused jus is visible throughout the entirety of the uncooked bird! No matter your origin, Kor’garr highly recommends trying an Uncooked Orcish delight at least once! The comforting pungent aroma reminds you of the battlefields, sating your bloodlust and inspiring you to do your best for an upcoming Wagh. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ This segment, new with this week's release, will show off famous and important locations in the Krugmarian capital of San'Velku! First will be the pride and joy of our blacksmiths, the Spirit Forge! Called 'Aanghum Znarim-ob' in the shamanic language of Uld Blah, this mystical smithery gives off a feeling of awe and majesty to any proper metalworker. This wonderful artifact was made by a Moot of shamans… Blessed by both the Immortal Greater Spirit of… Gentharuz, and the most famous orc blacksmith in recorded history, Azog himself! A boon to any metalworker, the forge allows for metal to flow and shift with ease, convincing even the most stubborn metals to be cast into molds without issue or weakening of the final product! Of course, the wondrous nature of this sacred forge truly shines when an experienced shaman and blacksmith work together as azh vessel for the spirit's influence on this Ugz; such collaboration allows for the creation of blessed weapons enchanted by the Greater Spirits through proper ritual during the forging process. The war-fog of Enrohk, shades of Kor, gleaming silver brilliance of Kezt, all can be imbued within these sacred works of faith and metallurgy. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ A good while ago, an announcement from the Grand Moot was released on how the lesser vampire Sarah Artenin was on trial as a Buurz creature. Kor’garr was there to record the events first hand, and can provide a full transcript if readers wish, but for brevity we shall display the following quote from Motsham Al-Uk Yar: “Sentenced by the One Voice, Motsham Al-Uk’Yar, And cured by Techgoth Kretz’Ox’s alchemical mastery the former Lesser Vampyr Sarah Artenin has been cured of the wretched disease known as vampirism. Additionally Sarah has been found to be tied to the wretched void, This too a disease outlawed in the territories of the Grand Moot.. The Motsham has sentenced Sarah to find the cure and take upon residence within the Spiritual stronghold of Nor’Asath where the local Pôrobmog Qudlia Jusmia along with aid of Scortuzian, Agis Penweather, are tasked with the cleansing of the sentenced soul.” This extremely merciful decision was due to Sarah’s earnestness in seeking out an end to the taint in her soul and willingness to provide the names of other suspected blood-tainted darkspawn to the Grand Moot. Afterwards, Sarah Artenin was escorted to the Krugmar clinic of Dr. Bumba Akaal. Bound down tightly upon an operation table with heavy ropes and chains of aurum, the woman prepared for Kretz’Ox, master alchemist and leader of clan Ox, to assemble the cure using potent reagents and a sample of pure human blood. After some bloodletting to weaken her, Sarah was fed the cure… The results were harsh yet hopeful. Howls of rage similar to the bloodlust of Krug-kind, thrashing and straining against sizzling chains, demands for something, anything, anyone to drink from… Praises of Scorthuz, spirit of purity, were given by the Shaman. “Scorthû'z afâr! Krank ob Kaal!” As a note, during the curing of a vampire it is imperative they are tightly restrained and kept away from any source of flesh blood. Them drinking the Grizh whether directly or from a glass will cause the cure to fail. Extended fangs fell away, blood red eyes dimming as the lesser, now former, vampire lost her energy, falling to near unconsciousness… Afterwards, Sarah Artenin and her spouse were provided housing and medical aid within the Ker Goi of Nor’Asath, yet despite orders from the Grand Moot turned out to quickly flee in departure to Lurin. In response, a missive of foolishness and warning was given out by the Silver Lubba in response to the Iron Horde’s merciful curing of one of their citizens! While they claim “the holding of our citizens against their will is a vile act”, Kor’garr does note that the tension was settled personally by the Motsham and Silver Lubba. Eventually, Sarah Artenin and her spouse were willing to meet in a neutral location for an exclusive interview with the Kaktuz Weekli! The full transcript is recorded as follows (Spoken Blah is written in Common): ✦✧――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Sarah Artenin: “Alright-tighty, I am ready for an interview.” Kor’garr: “How did you meet each other, brief accomplishments, stuff like that?” Sarah Artenin: “Me and Faeryel met some time ago, actually. I'm currently seventy-six, if it matters. It was in a tavern, and, Faeryel correct me if I'm wrong, overhearing some conversations I wedged myself into the topic at hand. If I recall it was magical in nature. I taught her magic, aaand, well, stuff happened, and we drifted apart. The story resumes some thirty-one years ago, where we then hit it back off with each other, and entered our relationship.” Faeryel: “And I don't know whatever other details you need. I told Sarah my vast and very interesting life story, and she agreed to teach me. This was in the Llyrian city-state, on Arcas, some… hundred and seventy years ago. Hundred and ninety-one, Wow, almost two hundred.” Kor’garr: “Is that not very very old for one cursed with the mortality of Horen’s blood?” Sarah Artenin: “I should mention I have often travelled to the far-reaching corners of the world, away from civilization, where times seem to shift and act differently. Hence why my age does not match this time frame.” Kor’garr: “So, after all that time and voidal connection. You seemed calm and at peace with life. How did Vampirism get mixed into it?” Sarah Artenin: “As I explained at my trial, I was turned to vampirism by forceful means. The way one is turned is by the consumption of tainted blood, and, if you are unfortunate enough, the curse will spread. There was a time where I was very eager to get it removed, however, due to the social stigmas at the time, and the cases I observed of 'cures' often meaning 'burned alive', I decided instead to just hide away. I figured society would eventually progress to a point where curing was normalized, instead of murder, at which point I'd then search it out again. Thankfully, in my time as a blood-sucking parasite, I had one consistent support in my life. Faeryel. It was thanks to her efforts that I was able to avoid attacking the innocent, and we managed to keep my condition out of the eyes of others.” Kor’garr: “Yes, the blind hate against victims of the Dark can work against the goals for a more pure World… And such choices didn’t impact your relationship?” Sarah Artenin: “I think it'd be best if Faeryel answered this one, if she'd like, as she was definitely bearing the burden and strain.” Faeryel: “For me, it was a bit of a… mixed bag. I'm an elf. Sarah's a human. The obvious problem in our relationship hung heavy over my head. I didn't want her to die. I still don't. I think it's monstrously unfair that we should have less time to spend together, just because of the differences in our heritage. It was a curse, yes, and it harmed her in… subtle ways. But I gladly gave up my blood for more time with her. It was more than fair.” Kor’garr: “And yet, it hurt you. It hurt Sarah. It was a danger to everyone that was unaware of the truth, unable to help or protect themselves if everything went wrong. No?” Faeryel: “Well, it both introduced some new fears and assuaged some old ones. I no longer had to worry about my wife dying of old age. I now had to worry about her being hunted down. I would say the fear of persecution greatly outweighed the hurt of extracting a pint of blood every year.” Kor’garr: “So worse than the disease, is the lack of support for the afflicted? And how did you not get it as well?” Faeryel: “I didn't get it because I'm not in the habit of drinking my wife's blood.” Sarah Artenin: “Mhm. And I was not in the habit of trying to feed it to her. It spreads through drinking undiluted cursed blood.” Kor’garr: “So you say, after over twenty years, you did not get sick even when Sarah fed on you. Which means that those afflicted don’t need to worry about accidentally spreading it.” Faeryel: “Indeed, you can only become a vampire from drinking a vampire's blood, so if you're extending someone's life by donating your own blood, you have nothing to fear.” Kor’garr: “Then let’s talk about the curing process.” Sarah Artenin: “Mm! The trial and the cure. What did you want to ask about?” Kor’garr: “I never heard how you were brought to Krugmar, Sarah. Did you seek the cure yourself?” Sarah Artenin: “Uh… Mm, no. That day in particular… I actually came to Krugmar to talk a little about the spirits, to try and learn a little more. I was… Rather unfortunately stricken with ill fortunes, that day, as I found myself surrounded at the aviary, and more-or-less forced into a salt test. I carried no weapons, nor ill will, and as I saw the salt coating the dagger, well, I didn't want to experience the searing pain that comes with the salt test. So, I simply admitted that I would fail the salt test specifically, and asked if I could leave Krugmar, never return, and that could be the end of it. After all, by this point me and Faeryel had established a routine, and I was causing no harm to any others… Alas, 'twas not to be. They subjected me to the salt test anyway, despite my admittance of guilt, and summarily grabbed me, threatened to break my bones if I resisted, and dragged me to trial. Then begins the trial part, which, well, I'm sure you're aware of that part. I think you were there? It's all a bit of a blur, in truth. My nerves got to me, and I emptied my stomach on the floor twice. Couldn't stop shaking. Very terrifying experience.” Kor’garr: “Well, it is good that you told the truth before being stabbed, though I do wonder how you were chosen to test. Orcs are rough when confronted with unexpected surprises. But that is no excuse. How are you doing living in Nor’Asath?” Sarah Artenin: “Mm, I wonder too. One of lifes mysteries. I was unarmed, that day, and not wearing armour. I thought wearing a smile and a peaceful enough look'd dissuade folk. It usually did. Uuuh.” Faeryel: “It remains a mystery how they deduced that Sarah's be a good person to corner and test.” Sarah Artenin: “Regarding the movement situation. Mm. Well, in truth, the Motsham's words were a little… Abducty. I was more than willing to learn about the spirits before-hand, hence why I travelled to Krugmar in the first place. I wanted to go to my home. In Lurin, the place I've lived for many, many years. I was told that I lived in Nor'asath now, and that it wasn't really my decision to make… In their insistence in attempting to brainwash me, it actually has driven a fearful wedge between me, and my enjoyment regarding learning of the spirits. So, admittedly, I am sad to say I am currently residing in Lurin, a little bruised and scarred from the situation… My education on the spirits comes, now, from a few friends of mine from Nor'Asath that I'm in contact with, and some of the Haelun'orian shamans.” Kor’garr: “I will say at least in part that was intended to keep you both safe from crusading Canonists or other unspiritual types. I offer to educate you as well.” Sarah Artenin: “… It set my desire to learn to a pitiful amount. I really wanted to learn, I really, really did. But… The Krugmar-Nor'Asath experience really ruined that for me.” Kor’garr: “I am sad to hear that… And your voidal connection? Has it ever complicated the condition or curing?” Sarah Artenin: “Uhm, well, my voidal connection is a little unique, you see. It's distanced from me, in fact, which results in the poisoning I experience being heavily restricted. My magics are hindered, and most masteries I had are rendered null and void, as I can no longer cast the big spells. My strength and stamina are functionally identical to what I could've achieved pre-poisoning. In fact, I'm pretty shredded, actually. I even roam in half-plate, most of the time.” - “But to answer the question as to whether or not… I've considered completely disconnecting myself from the void? Well…. Once, maybe twice. It pops into my head as a passing thought, but it's been such an integral part of my life for so long that… It'll take a lot of time for me to do it, if I decide to at all, you know? It's a major, life-changing decision. Not something that can be so readily forced on an unwilling soul. To let that go, you need to be certain, I feel.” Kor’garr: “Now that you are not Vampire-kin, will the connection shorten your lifespan?” Faeryel: “No, garden-variety voidal practice has no effect on your lifespan.” Sarah Artenin: “Mhm.” Kor’garr: “Alright. And what of the future?” Sarah Artenin: “The future… Well… To me, our future is us. I think that no matter what comes next, whether it be my disconnect from the void, or, some other path… I'm sure that I'll make it through okay, so long as I have Faeryel.” Faeryel: “. . .My thoughts exactly.” Kor’garr: “So, what would you recommend to those in the same struggle as yourself, Sarah? Seeking a cure, but fearing for their life from zealots?” Sarah Artenin: “… I… Would advise them to confide in close friends, and their support circle, who can try to reach out to people that can cure the individual, without necessarily endangering themselves to the zealous who believe redemption is impossible. Trust in your friends, and your family… And try to get help early. I found that the longer I was afflicted, the less I wanted to turn back, personally.” Kor’garr: “Despite the actions against you, have you heard of the stout who got cured from their void affliction, willingly?” Sarah Artenin: “Mm, I've read that missive. I was mentioned by name in it. I'm happy that the dwarf was able to find their peace in parting with the void, and wish them all the best on their new journey through life. Hopefully, it's a happier one than the one they lived.” Kor’garr: “Given the Moot can in fact peaceably cure those willing, would you recommend that those afflicted with Vampirism reach out to the Horde of their own volition?” Sarah Artenin: “You know, actually.” - “I was surprised by the efficiency, and care, that the Orcs took in curing me. It was a much gentler affair than I was expecting. The curing process, whilst painful, was better than I expected. The aftermath wasn't, but, yes, I'd personally recommend reaching out to Krugmar, provided they're treated as fairly as I was through the process.” [We all thanked Skumu here for their wonderful artwork of the interview.] Kor’garr: “Thank you Sarah. Any last words?” Sarah Artenin: “Hmm… Thank you for reporting honestly on the matter, and interviewing me for my opinions and words. It's been a… Good experience, and helps put to ease some fears I had. I'm looking forward to reading the next issue. Um. Um. Oh, and I love my wife Faeryel, she's the best ever wife, and you should put that in the newspaper. That I love her so much, I would give my heart and soul for her happiness.” Faeryel: “. . .It was a harrowing experience. I'd rather not go through something like that again, but my worst fears of Sarah being discovered weren't realized, and our relationship's gotten stronger because of it.” ✦✧――――――――――――――――――✧✦ If lat or someone lat knows wishes to be cured from the vampiric plague, please encourage them to reach out, either to the Kaktuz Weekli, the Iron Horde, or the Grand Moot, for treatment. We will offer all willing a new life without fear of being a Darkspawn, the ability to take up housing, and education on the Spirits. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Welcome to Skumu's second ( Dub ) Buub segment! Skumu has been working really hard to think of hozh facts for you all! What Skumu has learned is that Buubz dream just like lat agh mi! Buubz dream of many things Skumu can barely imagine! But while watching all the buubz Skumu has learned that not only do they dream and kick their little legs, buubz also sleep nose to nose with their bruddas and friends! Isn't that so cute? Skumu wishes she was a buub so she could sleep nose against Skumus' favorite people. Like Kor'Garr! Skumu would sleep nose to nose with Kor'Garr if Kor'garr was a buub. Oh! And Borok! And Lakeidas'Raguk, Oh and SkullCrusha'Raguk! Skumu would sleep nosey nose with them too! Skumu has many friends! ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Kor’Garr and Skumu are proud to say thank you to the Rex of Krugmar! So RULG Borok! Latz support is meaningful and this paper wouldn’t be around if we didn’t have such a hozh Rex!! ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Here is where Kor’garr or other members of the Kaktuz Weekli will respond to messages submitted by our readers! Feel free to Blah with Kor’garr or send a bird to San’Velku’s aviary with your questions or stories, and we will put them into the Paper! “Dear Kor’garr, I am a reader of your Newspaper, the Kaktuz Weekli. It is nice to see someone who observes and writes the events of the world for others to see and learn from. I am from Haense, and was wondering on your opinion of the recent happenings within our legal system?” -Unsigned Reader Luckily for you, the Kaktuz Weekli has already made this article just above! Glad to sate your curiosity. “What motivated you to begin a paper explaining the events of the World? It must be difficult - what prompted you and Skumu to take on such a task?” -Celian Bough When Kor’garr returned from the wild wastes of the southernmost sands, he had been given a task from the spirit Kor himself, to properly record the honorable lives and histories of those entering the Ancestral Realm, my fellow members of Krug-kind. This led me to discover a fierce devotion to spreading the Truth, not just of Orc Kulture but events concerning Almaris at large! It is a calling I follow most fervently, to properly honor the spirits Immortal and Ancestral, as well as my still living kin. Skumu just likes to help Kor’Garr! Nub thing else! “Should the Krug-Hai have more officer positions?” - Kuvirr Kor’garr is not the Targoth, but officer positions sound like a good idea as the army expands. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Next Week: An Archive of the War in Petra! Uruk of the Week makes a Return! More will be added in later issues! Again, Rulg to the Writer’s Guild of Almaris for their support in this publication. Also please note we are still hiring members for a variety of occupations. ✦✧―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――✧✦ Kor’garr - Zkriptgoth, Owner. Skumu - Head Artist, Formatter -- [OOC - Pings and References]
  21. [!] You find a halfling newspaper in your aviary mailbox! T'a Hay Herald: Volume 11 ~Even Taylor reads it!~ Contents: ~Nob Trial!~ ~Flowers On Fire!~ ~Farming As Usual~ ~Frogs Are Back!~ ~Nob Trial!~ Recently, a big ol' trial of the Sheriff, Nob Leekshrew, occurred within Bywater! Although he was acquitted on the charges of Time-Crimes, he was ordered to change his stew recipe in accordance with proper Health & Safety, and the stew itself t'was jailed for contempt of court when it failed to answer the prosecution's and defense team's questions (What is it hiding???). ~Flowers On Fire!~ ~The flowers BURN!~ During the Talent Show ran by Doder, some gigantic flowers appeared from the rose patch & rose realm behind the bar! Sadly, the oversized roses were destroyed before we could talk to them, look at them more, or see if they really were a threat at all! Perhaps the Flower Spirits are angry at us now.... ~Farming As Usual~ ~The plough stuck on a gully in the field ((pretend there is a plough in the middle there))~ As the next planting season approaches, I organized a small team o' workers to plough up the ol' wheat field and prepare it for future planting. It went all fine and dandy (minus when the plough got stuck in the fields o' course), and thus we are fully prepared for planting when the First Seed comes up next Pumpkin Day! ~Frogs Are Back!~ ~The Frog Spirit which blessed Breasal also blesses the frogs themselves!~ The frogs of Frogtopia, official vassal of the weefolk, have returned to Bywater. Breasal, official Froggekemp, undeniably blessed by the Frog Spirit, was the proud ol' halfling who brought them back! Good job, Breasal! This has been the eleventh edition of the Hay Herald. Mimosa Applefoot, Mayor of Bywater, signing off! ~Mimosa Applefoot.
  22. Issue One 11th of the Wzuvar & Byvca Volume One The Kvaz Khronicle “Karosgrad after a snow storm” depicted by Branimar Kvazyev Stories of the day: -Grand Prince of Kusoraev Married! -Saving our Soldiers! Ruthern wins big in Duma! -Election results covered here! Page 1 Grand Prince of Kusoraev Celebrates Lavish Wedding Day As the day of the Grand Prince of Kusoraev's much-anticipated wedding arrived, excitement built throughout the kingdom. The royal palace was abuzz with activity as preparations for the big day were underway. We spoke with one of the palace servants, who wished to remain anonymous, about the preparations they had been witness to. "It was a flurry of activity," the servant told us. "The palace was cleaned from top to bottom. The kitchen had been working around the clock to prepare the feast, and the staff had been rehearsing their roles for the day. It was going to be a truly magnificent event." The Grand Prince and his bride-to-be had not been seen much in public recently, as they had been busy with final preparations for the wedding. However, the servant shared that the couple seemed very happy and excited for their big day. The wedding was a lavish affair, with guests from all over the kingdom and beyond in attendance. The ceremony took place in the beautiful Basilica, and was followed by grand celebrations. We will continue to bring updates on the Grand Prince's newlywed life as time goes on, especially as he begins his tours of his vassals. For now, the kingdom celebrates this joyous occasion. Poem of events by Kasimir Kvazyev: In days of old, when knights were bold And lords and ladies fair A prince did seek a noble bride To join him in his royal lair With sword in hand, he rode the land In search of true love's kiss And when at last he found his match His heart did swell with bliss For she was fair, with golden hair And eyes that sparkled bright Her gentle touch and loving heart Brought joy to his lonely nights Together they did pledge their troth In a ceremony grand And as they knelt before the altar Their love was declared and fanned So let us raise a glass and toast To this royal couple true May their marriage last a lifetime And their love forever renew. Page 2 Lady Alderwoman Adelajda vas Ruthern's Act to Support Injured Soldiers Passes with Widespread Support Editor's note: We understand this coverage comes from a previous duma session, but we believe the content held within the bill and its passage is of monumental importance to cover. In a recent development in the Duma, Lady Alderwoman Adelajda vas Ruthern's proposed act to provide financial compensation to members of the Brotherhood of Saint Karl and Knights of the Kingdom who have suffered injuries while in the line of duty has passed with widespread support. The Medical Compensation Advisory Act of 453 ES proposes that those who have undergone amputations be eligible for compensation to help them acquire prosthetic replacements for their lost limbs or digits. The act has been met with widespread support from both military personnel and civilians alike. Many have praised Lady Alderwoman Adelajda vas Ruthern for her dedication to supporting those who put their lives on the line to protect the kingdom. The proposal has also been hailed as a crucial step in recognizing the sacrifices made by our brave soldiers and ensuring that they receive the care and support they need. The successful passage of this act is a testament to the nobility's commitment to supporting our military and ensuring that they have the resources they need to continue serving the kingdom with distinction. We would like to extend our heartfelt thanks to Lady Alderwoman Adelajda vas Ruthern and all those who supported this crucial legislation. Page 3 Kvazyev feeds the poor! As he strolled through the streets of the small village in which he lived, a poor young boy held tightly in his hand a piece of bread, which had been given to him by his mother for his midday meal. Despite his meager circumstances, the boy was content, for he knew that he was loved. Upon coming across a group of children engaged in playful merriment, the boy felt a pang of envy, but he quickly pushed it aside, choosing instead to join in their games. When the other children saw the bread in the boy's hand, they begged him to share it with them. After a moment's hesitation, the boy broke off a piece of the bread and offered it to the group, feeling a sense of joy at the thought of having brought a smile to their faces. The Kvazyev family, known for their generosity and kindness, has once again demonstrated their commitment to helping those in need by providing nourishing bread to impoverished children in their community. Page 4 Your ad could be here! Bird Kasimir Kvazyev to purchase a cheap space! Election Coverage! As the kingdom prepares for the upcoming XLIII Session of the Royal Duma, many are looking to the three elected officials who will be filling the seats. Royal Alderwoman Adelajda vas Ruthern and Grand Maer Roui de Melphestaus have been praised by anonymous sources for their competency and plans for the upcoming Session. "Adelajda vas Ruthern has always been a strong voice in the Duma," said one source. "Her dedication to the kingdom and her willingness to listen to the concerns of the people make her an excellent choice for the upcoming Session, especially with her Medical act." Another source praised Roui de Melphestaus, saying, "His experience and level-headedness will be crucial in guiding the Duma through these trying times. I have no doubt that he will be an asset to the kingdom." Not all elected officials have received such praise, however. Royal Alderman Atilan Bishop has been criticized by anonymous sources for being a poor choice for the Duma. "His track record in the Duma has been lackluster, at best," said one source. "He lacks the vision and leadership skills that are necessary for the role. I fear that he will only hinder the progress of the Duma in the upcoming Session." Another source echoed these sentiments, saying, "Bishop's selection for the Duma is a disappointment. I have no confidence in his abilities to serve the kingdom effectively in this position." The kingdom awaits the start of the XLIII Session with anticipation, eager to see how these elected officials will shape the future of the Duma and the kingdom as a whole. Page 5 Neigh, Horses aren’t Controversial! The Kvaz received the following letter to the editor. We find it necessary to rebuke it! As a resident of the Kingdom of Haense, I have long been a proud supporter of our noble traditions and way of life. However, there is one small aspect of our kingdom that I feel could be improved upon: the use of horses for official transportation. For centuries, it has been customary for horses to be used for the transportation of royalty and other high-ranking officials. This practice is steeped in tradition and is seen by many as a symbol of our kingdom's wealth and sophistication. However, I believe that it is time for us to move beyond this outdated mode of transportation and embrace a more modern approach. First and foremost, the use of horses is impractical and inefficient. Horses are expensive to maintain and can be unpredictable, making them unreliable for official transportation. Furthermore, the use of horses can create a sense of exclusivity and elitism that is at odds with our kingdom's values. At official functions, only a select few are able to enjoy the luxury of being transported by horse, while the majority must make do with other, less effective methods. ** As the premier newspaper of the Kingdom of Haense, it is our duty to provide balanced and accurate reporting on the events and issues that affect our beloved kingdom. In light of the recent editorial calling for the abandonment of horses for official transportation, we feel it is necessary to provide a counterargument that highlights the many virtues of this time-honored tradition. First and foremost, it must be noted that the use of horses is not merely a symbol of our kingdom's wealth and sophistication, but a crucial aspect of our cultural heritage. For centuries, our ancestors have relied on horses for transportation, and the skill and artistry involved in the breeding of horses is a testament to their ingenuity and bravery. To abandon this tradition would be to erase a significant part of our history and identity. In addition, the use of horses is not impractical or inefficient, as the previous editorial suggests. On the contrary, horses are strong, reliable animals that can be trained to meet the specific needs of official transportation. In addition, the slow and stately pace of horses is perfectly suited to the dignified nature of official events, and allows those who are being transported the opportunity to enjoy the sights and sounds of our kingdom in a leisurely and enjoyable manner. Furthermore, the use of horses does not create a sense of exclusivity or elitism, as the previous editorial claims. On the contrary, the sight of a beautiful and well-maintained horse is a source of pride and inspiration for our people. It reminds us of the greatness and splendor of our kingdom, and inspires us to strive for excellence in all that we do. In conclusion, we believe that the use of horses for official transportation is a vital and cherished part of our kingdom's traditions. We are grateful to have a wise and visionary king who recognizes the importance of this tradition and is committed to preserving it for future generations. Page 6 The Kvazyev Company The Kvazyev Company is a trading company specializing in weaponry, banking, trading, and meals for the hungry. Seek out Branimar (Doggedwasupxxx) or Kasimir Kvazyev (Lickspittle) for a job. (Dogged#8148, Lickspittle#5373) Want an advertisement in this newspaper? Want to submit a letter to the editor? Want to give us a story? Is there something that must be said? Bird Kasimir Kvazyev! (Lickspittle#5373)
  23. [!] Another one of these halfling tabloid 'newspapers' finds its way into your aviary mailbox once again. You really ought to send a formal complaint. T'a Hay Herald: Volume 10 ~Who even reads these?~ Contents: ~GLOBAL ECONOMIC COLLAPSE!~ ~The Tippens Tavern Opens!~ ~Is that beans & toast I smell?~ ~GLOBAL ECONOMIC COLLAPSE~ ~The state of the big-folk economy~ The entire biggun economy has COMPLETELY COLLAPSED! The auctioneering guild & associated gnomish and elven merchants have all gone bankrupt, leaving behind thousands of unemployed mine & factory workers who can no longer use their services to sell goods. Homelessness and poverty have skyrocketed worldwide, and many are at risk of famine in arid regions. Thankfully, the shire is completely unaffected thanks to the ingenious economic system of "Bernardist Thought" that originated way back in Dunshire, where all halflings contribute what they can and take what they need from the collective. This has kept things running more or less smoothly in Hayhollow, apart from temporary shortages in rare earth metals such as gold and magic-stone. It will be some time until supply lines are able to recover. While new trade routes for gold and magic-stone are expected to open up with the Dwarves in coming years, our shire is left on its own economically more than ever as even barter is hard to operate when so many potential trade partners languish in poverty. ~The Tippens Root Tavern Opens!~ ~The well stocked shelves of the Hayhollow tavern~ In better news, the Tippens Root Tavern has opened, offering FREE DRINKS on annual Drinking Nights to all of its customers. On normal business days, of course, travelers must barter for their drinks. This tavern will dramatically grow the Hayhollow economy and offer employment for many! I for one am very excited to see this tavern grow with us in these coming years. ~Is that beans & toast I smell?~ ~The Gnomish Oven 2000 roars away!~ In a unique display of our ancient halfling culture, a Bake-off was recently held here in Hayhollow-Bywater, with several halflings and big-folks alike in attendance! All contestants' meals were submitted to none other than the Thain King Cyris himself! As the greatest halfling family to have ever existed, of course, the winners of both categories (sweet and savory) were both Applefoots: me and my daughter Rosebud! This has been the tenth edition of the Hay Herald! Mimosa Applefoot, signing off!
  24. The Daily LUBBA Love is in the air. . . The Daily Lubba is proud to announce a new addition to the Lurin event calendar. . . The Search for The Lubba’s Love! . . . A search for the true love of this season’s Lubba, the Silver Lubba himself; Mika Anarion! There will be games, festivals, galas, competitions, and more throughout the search, so whether you are watching or taking part it is sure to be the spectacle of a lifetime. Those interested in partaking in the search as a potential love, please send us a reply via bird, or pin a note beneath the news board. To apply, you must be at least 70 years old, biologically female, and elven in order to fit our Lubba’s preferred qualities in a partner. Though all are invited to attend and partake, the committee of this event would like to extend an invitation to the following; Renae Athri'onn, Lhoris Izalith, Penelope ‘Penny’ Clover, and Dame Viktoriya. A bit about the man. . . Mika Anarion enjoys hunting down spooks, fighting in most conflicts, and teaching. A caring individual, Mika’s first priority is always Lurin and his family, doing whatever he can for them. To quote the man himself, “quality time is everything.” This segment was brought to you by Scrisa Anarion. The Law keepers of Lurin With Lurin growing rapidly, numerous threats have made their way behind the city walls - cruel individuals that torture and slaughter common folk, thieves that wish to strip everyone of their belongings, practitioners of twisted arts, and the vile offsprings of the dark. It becomes clearer by the day the importance of our city’s military. Maintaining peace is just one of the many duties our guards take on, for they must train not only the body but the mind, too. A sharp mind is required to deal with criminals, even more so when dealing with darkspawn. And yet, this is only a taste of what the Centurions do. They work tirelessly to keep our people safe, putting their own lives at risk for the greater good. The state recognizes the importance of our guard, and so no matter the rank, they are rewarded for their service. The most common being payment in mina, handed out mali-weekly. All an aspiring Centurion must do is seek out an Officer or captain. Upon proving themselves true to the cause, they shall receive their uniform. Then, the training towards greatness begins. The Silver Ladybug The academy, the guards, the workforce - these are just some of the divisions within Lurin, each of them having something in common. People. No matter the area of expertise, no mortal is able to work relentlessly. Labor in any form- whether of the mind, or muscle - will lead to exhaustion. And thus, a comfortable place to assist with such is formed. A tavern, a known source of activity and comfort. Ours stands just near the gates, stocked with drinks and food for all! Of course, a tavern isn’t just a place to gorge on food, it’s also a place for fun. The livid events hosted there must tug the weary folk out from their misery, and our tavern is sure to do just that. Some of such events include fun games, friendly competitions, nights of free drinks, storytelling, and more! But alas, woe has befallen our tavern, The Silver Ladybug, for the previous owner has retired from leadership. Due to such, many new tavern keepers have been hired. Furthermore, the mantle of tavern owner is open for a promising individual to take up! If you are interested in working in or leading The Silver Ladybug, reach out to Scribe! (or Mika) We hope to see you there! Are you gay? Take this quiz to find out! Scrisa here again. A concerning amount of people, of which I will not call out names, have been questioning their sexuality in my presence, a few even going as far and asking me ‘how to gay.’ In light of such incidents, I, a lesbian, have put together a small questionare to solve the age-long question that is, Am I gay? Enjoy. (don’t take this seriously, it's mostly jokes) Are you gay? I’m not gay! I’m straight! I’m 100% straight! Absolutely, this is just for fun. Probably not. That’s why I’m taking this quiz. Opinion on math. My brain rejects it. I’m too gay for it. It's alright I guess. Depends honestly. How often do you say the word ‘slay’? I strictly avoid using that word. Literally all the time. Slay. I usually don’t, unless as a joke. I must add this to my vocabulary. Pick a color. Lilac. Is yes an answer? Blue Hmm. . . green? How fast is your usual walking speed? Very fast Depends if I’ve had my coffee Medium Pretty fast. My friends lag behind me Opinion on cowboy hats and boots. Love them, 100%. Stylish as hell . . . Ew Eh. A little tacky Not my thing. If you answered mostly 1, how’s that internalized homophobia going? If you answered mostly 2, you’re very gay but you already knew that. If you answered mostly 3, you’re most likely straight, or aromantic/asexual. If you answered mostly 4, you’re most likely on the spectrum. Welcome to the cult that is being gay. If you answered a mix of all, then you’re probably bisexual. Don’t be a dumbass and get mad over a stupid quiz in a newspaper. If this makes you angry, you probably answered all 1s. This is just for fun, don’t be dramatic. Don’t rain on our gay parade. This segment was brought to you by Scrisa Anarion. A VILLAIN VANQUISHED. . . Or just misunderstood? Recent events have brought to light the dark secrets behind a certain Csayhn’s false visage. A dark magic user, a villain. . . and beloved partner of Alucard Anarion, the adopted son of Mika Anarion himself? We at the Croaking decided to dive deeper into this story. An anonymous informant tells a story that isn’t so black and white after all. According to our crow, Csayhn fell victim to suicide as a result of mass persecution upon the accusation of being a dark mage. Despite having submitted to multiple darkspawn tests, Rina D’Avre and Mika Anarion, alongside the atronachs of Lurin, hunted the man down until he was driven to suicide. But where did these accusations come from anyway? After all, every rumor stems from some semblance of truth. The crow tells us that Csayhn had in fact been victim to a darkspawn attack, which fueled the accusations and false- hoods laid upon the poor man. And still the plot thickens, as others tell a very different tale. One individual testifies witnessing Rina D’Avre’s neck be near slit open by Csayhn, and another bears witness to the dark arts performed by the man. Though the many accounts come together for a very confusing timeline, the croaking offers condolences to all affected by the man’s death. Whether he was a good man, a bad one, or somewhere in between- Crows will mourn for their friends. Let us know your thoughts on the matter! Anything else we should know? Is there anything you believe should be covered in the next release? Whether it be a confession, piece of gossip, or upcoming event, just let us know and we’ll consider putting it in the next release. Until next time,
  25. YEAR SA 93/ 1893 ISSUE I Homemade Chocolate Cookies Baking cookies is a classic staple in all of baking. Almost everyone knows what they are but not how to make them which is a shame. In this article I will show you how to make a batch of cookies easily. Step 1: gather the following ingredients, 2 1/4 cups of flour, 1 small spoon of salt, 12 1/2 large spoons worth of butter, 2/3 cups of sugar, 2 large eggs, 1 small spoon of vanilla, and a bag of whatever you want in the cookies I suggest walnuts or chocolate chips. Step 2: setting up. Have your furnace preheated for about 8 minutes plus the time it takes you to whip up the dough for the cookies. Step 3: the dough. Whisk your butter and flour in a large bowl, next add your sugar and eggs then whisk it with good effort for about 4 minutes. Then add your vanilla and whatever else you want to add but in this case, we will say chocolate chips. Step 4: baking. Now you have your dough, take a handful of them and play them on a baking track in a circular shape with half an inch of space between each cookie. Place your cookie filled tray in the furnace on the bottom row and leave it for about 12 to 15 minutes. Halfway through, shift it to the top row and it will become golden (the longer you leave them the crunchier the cookies). Finally take them out and let them cool. Penned by Local baker Flour A Query for the people… Who has better cookies… The Mysterious cookie lady.. We apologize for the hastily painted picture. Sadly, we could not get a painting of the woman as she moved so quickly… versus Local Velika baker and musin Flour Mystical magical La devin Libellule has graced us with her horoscopes for the year. Though we do not know of these strange names she clearly states that it will follow up with other zodiacs of Alamaris. Canard Corbeau Crow drake:Sun's Smile::Air sign : Monday Your week will be filled with new and old lovers returning. Deep emotional bonds will be met and formed, and people from your past will start to show face. Be wise enough, for your solid emotional pull might push you one step too far. oiseau de feu glaciaire Glacial Phoenix:The Amber Cold: Water sign: Tuesday Your week will be Filled with wonderment and a new corridor. The beginning of faith's calling isn’t an easy place to reach for, but it will get you in touch with the knowledge of life itself and the essence of connections we make through the pure acts of aptitude. A shared mission will be in place for your wings to uphold a new alliance. Cristal fauve Wyrssa:The Deep Cold:Earth sign:Wednesday This week the wrongdoings have come to pass, and finally, those who have wronged the crystal will crack. Remember to draw your sword from inner strength and courage, for you will need it in the battle ahead. Take responsibility for your actions and face your wrongdoings, or you may be on the other side of your own blade. Vulpecula Fox: Northern constellation:Snow's MaidenThunder sign:Thursday This week everything will feel warm and sunny. Your business will flourish under your guidance, as well as appear as an inspiration to others. Keep up the outstanding work, and take on the last bits of freedom. baleine céleste Sky whale:Malin's Welcome: Air sign Friday This week Romance is on the horizon, but a past lover is there waiting to intercept your passion. Betrayal of the worst kind, a dark influence swirls in the clouds. There is no room for lethal poisons of the mind, and all you need now is some trust that your heart has the best possible plan for you and that the feeling of home will away be there. Home is where your heart is; maybe it’s best to migrate back. Aello Harpy:The First Seed:Fire sign :Saturday Aellos, the harpies, what decisions have you made that brought you so far from your nest? You are being governed by fear, scared of the outcomes before you. True bravery comes from following all those fragile choices that others disapprove of, and one needs to learn this, or you might hit the wall of dismay. récolte d'autruche Bokolo: The Grand Harvest:Earth sign:Sunday The great bird for how you have run so far from yourself. Maybe you have grayed out instead of your true colors. Your mind and heart are at war, tricking one to believe the others and pulling you further apart. Stop putting your tasks aside. Less talking, more action, you will be granted Beware of the Tax mafia! The tax mafia has recently begun to cause a stir in the minister of finances departments as non-taxpayers get terrified into giving their minas to the stewards who wake up and find the people who are just about to lose their house... have paid? The bizarre phenomenon has occurred in such a strange way that it baffles all the stewards. The only word of wisdom we can give in these trying times is to pay your taxes on time. Missing dog! This painting was made next to the wooden memory swing. We hope that this dog can find it, owner, we are unsure who left him here… but we hope Percy finds his way back home. The Crowning of the Stars. https://www.lordofthecraft.net/forums/topic/215855-a-crowning-within-the-stars/ Elysium stood with a few vassals in the back to watch the crowning and the many gifts. Such a celebration so many people in one place, many talked of how they haven't seen such the east reinstatement of old humans. Larissa, one brave daughter of the De Astrea family stood before Illarion holding an ax of crescent and spoke of protecting their people as well giving their aid to protect this new nation and its people.
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