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[!] A horrid poster sits nailed to the wooden board ahead of you. THERE'S A HOT SINGLE RICH WOMAN IN YOUR AREA! Lady Dowager, DAME VIKTORIYA I, ‘the Silver Drake’ Matriarch of House Tsecsar, Former Captain of the Imperial State Army, Knight of the Most Noble & Most Ancient Order of the Lion, Former Imperial Queen of Arms, Castellan of Heimisgarðr, ‘Allmother’ of the Eight Precepts, Úlfhéðnar of the Father, Et Cetera DAME VIKTORIYA I is in search of love! If you’re a human man searching for a woman with lots (lots!) of mina and eight children, she’s your gal! NAME: Viktoriya Vyacheslavovna DeNurem Tsecsar I D.O.B. [Date of Birth]: What’s a . . . DOB? Youth slang? The text is too small to see . . . I need my reading glasses. AGE: It’s rude to ask a lady such a question! I’m in my prime. OCCUPATION: Illegal substances vendor Alchemist HOBBIES include razing heathen (anti-GODAN!) villages, worshipping GODAN, potion-making, taking long walks on beaches, taking short walks in swamps, taking moderate walks in mountains, sleeping, dissection, hanging out in the suspicious alleyways of Providence, sleeping, and potion-making. APPEARANCE: [!] A single picture was attached . . . Drawn in some hideous ‘pixel-block’ fashion: CRITERIA: - Must be a human! - Must be a man. Preferably. - Please don’t be a cultist. I’ve had enough cultist husbands, I think. - Preferably alive. - Preferably mentally stable. That’s it. My standards are low. I’m desperate. WHAT YOU WILL RECEIVE - A very temperamental kind, old young woman with lots to offer. - Mina. - Possibly, a home. Dame Viktoriya tends to swing between homeless & not-homeless. - Lots of step-children. - Potions! - Did I mention . . . Mina? Should you be interested, send a bird! My response time may be slow, I am a working woman. Humbly, Dame Viktoriya
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Tatiana vas Ruthern: Single and Ready to Mingle [An accurate depiction of Tatiana, by Adalia de Astrea, is attached] To the single, rich, over 6ft tall men of Almaris: Are you lonely? Tired? Desperate? Afraid you’re wasting away your single years? Look no further. Introducing: Tatiana vas Ruthern, Gem of the Margraviate of Greyspine. Tatiana, like many women her age, has found herself looking. Looking for what, you may ask? Romance. And one lucky bachelor reading this pamphlet will have the opportunity of a lifetime. Now, you may be asking yourself: Who IS Tatiana vas Ruthern? ABOUT THE BACHELORETTE: Tatiana, or more commonly known as Tattie Ruthern is an elegant piece at best. She is barely SIXTEEN, blonde, and likes long walks on the beaches of Greyspine. Tatiana often spends her days roaming along the streets of Karosgrad, basking in her own beauty, and looking for crimes to solve, but fear not - she's not afraid to detect the way to your heart! COULD YOU BE HER DUKE-CHARMING? (Commoners will be immediately declined) The Margraviate of Greyspine will be hosting a chaperoned MEET-AND-GREET with the Bachelorette for prospective mates to show off why THEY should have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live out their happily-ever-after with Tattie Ruthern. Those interested in a more intimate meet-and-greet with the lovely Ruthern will be able to do so for the very low sum of 200 mina (Prices may vary based on social status). All interested candidates must fill out the attached form and return it as soon as possible - remember, Tatiana hates tardiness. Good luck to all men, and may the best Bachelor win. PROSPECTIVE BACHELOR FORM IGN: Name: Age: Place of residency: Bank account balance: Hobbies: One interesting fact about yourself: Why should Tatiana choose you?:
