Jump to content

Chrothic

Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    29

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by Chrothic

    JONESCO MAYORAL PROPAGANDA MACHINE

    in Duchie of Adria

    Posted · Edited by Chrothic

    Following a slight change of events a NEW poster would show up plastered alongside the previous ones:
    Image


    At the same time, in a rickety wagon a man rode along, down all the same streets the posters had been plastered on, and handed out JonesCO(TM) Musicamagraph(TM) Machines which played the tune of the Official JonesCO(TM) Make Adria Great Again(TM) theme song

     

    Spoiler

     

     

    3

    JONESCO MAYORAL PROPAGANDA MACHINE

    in Duchie of Adria

    Posted · Edited by Chrothic

    tiny medieval mouse people operating a large printing press
    (Pictured: The Legion of Musin Monks who run the JonesCO(TM) Printaminator(TM) which printed these very propaganda pieces)

    "Posters, Propaganda, ACTION!" Yelled out a JonesCO    (TM) Poster Placement Director as a small army of Musin rush to place countless posters around anywhere an Adrian currently lived

    Such posters as:
    Image
    ImageImageImage
    Image
    Image
    Image

     

    9

    [PK] A final call to Adventure™️

    in Duchie of Adria

    Posted

    NfCNg69NEoE_yf53NkwlID29LyGBFDswBYCstRCcnHOc4JawSkUVwp70KbyJ6v1Y_EbdrmbfmK1VSGlV0H9FIMolKV7q2FOzb_rKhBj433mYoU5GkutWiWU4nSDAOddrnwMlbPBfYU0I-Wm5tSGfpKo

     

    [!] On the edge of a dim jungle cave somewhere on an isolated tropical island in the middle of the ocean, a very old man stands, his toga loosely draping down over his body, his century old glasses clung to his face, staring out at the sunset as he releases hundreds of posters into the wind.
     

     

    UNUM EXTREMUM EXPEDITIONEM


     

    [!] Somewhere else in the world, in the lively tavern of a great empire, the stories of this man’s life were told.

     

    His troubled upbringing, his rise to nobility, and fall to obscurity. His various cons and exploits, his adventures and expeditions into unknown lands for no particular reasons.

     

    They told of his love stories, his tragedies, and his victories.

     

    “I heard one time he got so drunk he married an old hag, only to leave and never speak to her again!” one man says,

    “I heard he stole an entire swan boat in the sacking of Providence!”
     

    “I heard he cheated the entire nation of Yong Ping out of a large swathe of property for a circus he NEVER BUILT!”

    “I heard he charged people a hundred mina just to say to eat only steak and lift inhuman weights!”

    “I heard he invented some gel which blocks aging, maybe that's how he’s lived so long!”

    Though some of these men had never met him, nor seen any of his products or the extent of his dealings, they spoke of him with such confidence that it didn't matter if what they said actually happened or not.

     

    Spoiler

    https://tenor.com/view/dune-oil-gif-19265348


    He really did invent that gel. Though, it didn't stop aging, it was just a placebo. But maybe it wasn't just the gel he invented, maybe he had found the true source of immortality.

     

    A life so unreal, so imaginary at its core, that nobody would dare forget it.


     

    ULTIMUM ACTUM

     

    v5Wej-l5lRD5aOFX9oaSJx9l6IinSev_mwmDa8yStmMBo1Bzf0vsfIxKPfYAg-5U6mpn3GWARr-jnAwfMJg7RfBfBrfOBpq5HGTi5y_YjwXFGhTdIcABwvl834fZjefmAW8N5KUgV3UVP54GikP_7NE
     

    [!] Finally, a man stands over a grave, nestled behind an old ruined castle, emotionless and stoic in his stare.

     

    The headstone read:

    “BEN JONES II
    SON OF BEN JONES I

    EXPLORER EXTRAORDINAIRE
    BORN 1812

    DIED 1932, AFTER 120 GLORIOUS YEARS
    “Glorious, my good man!””
     

    In truth, the grave was empty, but it mattered not.
     

    For he had lived a life so glorious, it could not be contained in a single box upon death.


    “I pick up your adventure where you left off, utterly lost and aimless, but joyous.”

    Muttered the man

    “And I pick it up gladly, Grandfather.”


    And with that, the end of an era.

    Fin

    8

    A dreamer and her dreams

    in Creative Writing

    Posted

    Spoiler

     

    Vibes/inspiration I used while writing this ^

     

    I was bored, listened to some music, thought for a couple days, then was bored again and wrote this according to what I myself had been dreaming about.
    I write a lot, but this is one of the few stories I've written which actually seems real to me I guess.
    Posted cause @HeyitsNanosaid I should

     

    And there I stood, frozen and breathless, my eyes fixed on a single person sitting amongst the murmuring crowd, though she was surrounded by people who talked to her as if she were their closest friend, and she responded to every one of their words, in her eyes, tired and heavy, I could see a form of boredom, but of what? The lavish life she lived? The men attempting to sway her to their courtship?

     

    But from across the room, if only just for a moment, she returned my gaze.

     

    Immediately, I felt my heart drop, turning away and vanishing into the crowd.

     

    As I lay in bed that night, my mind continuously returned to that single moment from hour prior, where her initial beauty had me entranced on its own merit, the blue glow of her eyes told a story entirely separate from her face, not one of a princess in a ballroom, but one of a dreamer trapped in a cage.

     

    Past the tiredness, or boredom, was a mind which seemed to be constantly constructing scenarios of great adventure and danger.

     

    And as I drifted to sleep, though I do not remember clearly, I believe perhaps I shared in the never-ending adventures in my dreams, and perhaps for once she was not alone in her dreams, as I was not in mine.

     

    But with the rise of morning, and the passing of days and weeks, then months and years, I slowly began to forget the dream which I had experienced that night, as I fell into the everyday workings of aristocracy.

     

    One thing which I will never forget, however many dreams pass me by and fade into obscurity, is the dreamer, her eyes perplexing in their allure forever haunting me in the drifting seconds between being awake and asleep.

     

    I never did see her again.

     

    Perhaps she was simply a figment of my imagination, and all along I was the dreamer, alone in my own world.

     

    Or perhaps she finally found the way into her dreams, set free from her cage, finally able to rest and dream as her mind so desperately needed.

    3

    BROTHER AGAINST BROTHER, WIFE AGAINST HUSBAND

    in Provinces and Territories

    Posted

    Ben Jones, loyal to those of his family and friends above all else, read the paper with a look of sadness the likes of with is never seen on the man.

    "Old Empire be damned I say! Emperors and unspecified bloodlines lead to nothing but brother waes and loss on both sides!

    And in the end, it's my family which suffers!"

    The man remarked loudly from the cigar room of Castle Puremont 

    "What do you think, Lukas?"

    He asked, passing the paper off to his nephew:

     

    Lukas Jones, bound to neutrality by code, scanned through the pages, mumbled aloud what he read, before muttering almost incoherently,

    "Snakes, Sirens, Serpents, backstabbers , all of them! Each more foolish than the last..."

    He trailed off, removing two of his many Lorraine pendants from his cape and placing them in an envelope and handing it to a bird. The man shook his head as the bird flew off,

    "We should've stayed in Savoy."

     

    Then, the two men sat in near silence, finishing their cigars and glasses of whiskey, before each went off their separate ways without even a parting word. One, riding off into the darkness of night, the other going to sort through the boxes of many treasures from years passed in his room.

    3

    Runaway

    in The Kingdom of Oren

    Posted

    Sir Lukas Jones marched toward the girl's room, his many Lorraine pendants jingling, posture straight and correct, but face lax.

    Upon reaching their door at the far end of the hall, he gently knocked twice.

    "Lady Philippa, Lady Elisanna, the servants have prepared you breakfast. And Uncle Ben has come to take you to some mythical fairgrounds or something, too."

     

    Hearing no reply, he knocked once again, this time much harder.

    "Philippa? Elisanna?"

     

    The knight opened the door, swiftly moving inside.

    His face grew pale, his mouth falling agape, and his knees suddenly becoming very weak upon the realization.

    He sat on Lady Elisanna's bed, resting his head on his hands.

     

    "I've failed my duty..."

    He mumbled to himself, all the while his small bit of sanity began to melt, the ever present but non-existent sounds, smells, and feelings all returning at once in a wave over him.

     

    3

    Ben Jones OFFICIAL Workout Plan

    in The Kingdom of Oren

    Posted · Edited by Chrothic

    2112941093_BenJonesCOLogo.thumb.png.af2893f5012932d48d0a670ea18ff162.png

    THE

    Ben Jones OFFICIAL Workout plan.

    Are YOU maidenless? Are YOU weak and sickly? Are YOU loved by only YOUR MOTHER?

     

    AREN’T YOU TIRED OF IT?

     

    Try this WORKOUT PLAN and CHANGE IT!


     

    An interview of Ben Jones, Creation of the Ben Jones OFFICIAL Workout plan:

    “”You know, fitness, and maidenless, very similar words, with very strong ties to one another.

     

    As you know, since you’ve begun reading my workout plan and thusly know who I am, I am constantly surrounded by Maidens and Fangirls, you might also notice my TOTAL SWOLALITYtm.

     

    These two things work together like two sides of a tug of war challenge, on one side you’ve got maidenlessness and weakness, on the other you’ve strength and fame.

     

    For me, I’m on the strength and fame side, and we’ve been winning for a very long time.

     

    So try out my program, join the winning team and win.

    Achieve SWOLALITYtm, achieve maidens.””


     

    For just the small price of 8 mina, the price of a stack of bricks, YOU can achieve SWOLALITYtm through this plan!


     

    Pay 8 mina:

    Spoiler

    Alright, now, first things first.

     

    Phase 1:

    Eat a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs and cheese with a side of steak, finished off with a large glass of milk.

     

    Next, move on to squats, do as many squats as possible until fail (be sure to write down the max squats you could do)

     

    Now that you’ve gotten squats out of the way, pullups, same routine as squads, only this time up. Repeat until fail (once again, write down max)

     

    Now sit ups, in Ben Jones’ personal experience, it works best to do around 100 sit ups, go for a quick 10 minute jog, then 100 more, so you’ll do that now. (If you cannot complete 100 sit ups or a 10 minute jog, be sure to write down as many as you completed before fail)

     

    Snack break, you need energy. Large cup of milk and a bowl full of beans and cheese. (Substitute beans for meat, if meat is unavailable. Do not substitute cheese)

     

    Now that you’ve got energy, do another set of pullups until you fail. (mark down number)

     

    For this portion, you’re going to find the heaviest thing in your home, and lift it over your head for 20 minutes. (if you cannot lift the heaviest thing, find something lighter until you can hold it over your head for 20 minutes)

     

    Lastly, another set of pullups until fail (mark down number)

     

    Finally, close off with a good meal, steak and potatoes, with a large glass of milk. Ben Jones suggests also including a cigar and glass of whiskey (If you are under the age of 25 Ben suggests skipping this)

    Phase 2:

     

    Repeat day 1, you’re not ready to advance yet.

    Think you are? You aren’t, trust the program.

     

    Now,

    Eat a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs and cheese with a side of steak, finished off with a large glass of milk.

     

    Next, move on to squats, do as many squats as possible until fail (be sure to write down the max squats you could do)

     

    Now that you’ve gotten squats out of the way, pullups, same routine as squads, only this time up. Repeat until fail (once again, write down max)

     

    Now sit ups, in Ben Jones’ personal experience, it works best to do around 100 sit ups, go for a quick 10 minute jog, then 100 more, so you’ll do that now. (If you cannot complete 100 sit ups or a 10 minute jog, be sure to write down as many as you completed before fail)

     

    Snack break, you need energy. Large cup of milk and a bowl full of beans and cheese. (Substitute beans for meat, if meat is unavailable. Do not substitute cheese)

     

    Now that you’ve got energy, do another set of pullups until you fail. (mark down number)

     

    For this portion, you’re going to find the heaviest thing in your home, and lift it over your head for 20 minutes. (if you cannot lift the heaviest thing, find something lighter until you can hold it over your head for 20 minutes)

     

    Lastly, another set of pullups until fail (mark down number)

     

    Finally, close off with a good meal, steak and potatoes, with a large glass of milk. Ben Jones suggests also including a cigar and glass of whiskey (If you are under the age of 25 Ben suggests skipping this)

     

    You might have noticed you’re already to do more of each item on the list, but don’t push it, you don't want to strain yourself or pull something.


     

    Phase 3:

     

    Eat a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs and cheese with a side of steak, finished off with a large glass of milk.

     

    Now, something new. Do the max number of squats you think you can do, but then add one more. Doing this plus writing down your max is a great way to motivate and push yourself comfortably.

     

    After 2 days of this program you might notice your max pull ups have doubled, this is good, and what's supposed to happen. If not, repeat phase 2 until your max pull ups double. (remember to continually write down your max so you can try to beat it the next day)

     

    Same ol same ol, but now you’re going to do 200 sit ups, 20 minute jog, and 200 more situps (By now, I have no doubt you can do these, just be sure to space out the sit ups to avoid core pain)

     

    Snack break, this time we’re doing something new, you need a sandwich. First, buns, then thinly sliced steak, topped with melted cheese and the hottest seasoning you can find. (The seasoning helps trick your body into working harder to avoid getting burnt)

     

    Now that you’ve fire strength, do another set of pullups until you fail. (mark down number)

     

    For this portion, you’re going to find the heaviest thing in your home, and lift it over your head, but now you need to do 40 minutes. (if you cannot lift the heaviest thing, find something lighter until you can hold it over your head for 40 minutes)

     

    Lastly, another set of pullups until fail (mark down number)

     

    Finally, close off with a good meal, steak and stuffed potatoes, with a large glass of milk. Ben Jones suggests also including a cigar and glass of whiskey (If you are under the age of 25 Ben suggests skipping this)


     

    After completing phase 3 for the first time, you move on to phase 4.

    Phase 4 is different, however, as it's the final phase.

    Phase 4 follows the same routine as Phase 3, only difference is that it repeats infinitely.

    Do the workouts from Phase 3 every day, write down your maxes, and the next day work until you can beat the max.

     

    This program works but only if you trust it.

    Eventually, you will reach peak SWOLALITY.

     

    7

    Alderman Electoral BOX

    in The Kingdom of Oren

    Posted · Edited by Chrothic

    A JONESCO PUBLIC BOXING/TOWN HALL MEETING EVENT

    GOIRY9Is47APFPmRM73EJVkCPQ3p3uVkoHGzhh7JdibplN4UoeN-IRP6vWclhWJjbCiiYGrm-8eT-EDSSZQFeCTCiXWa1NDbFuqfn2eRsR8zB8E3oAmB9M8owy9kSsMqM1qTyjgz

     

    WHAT?:

    I, Ben Jones, running candidate for the position of Alderman, hereby welcome all CITIZENS OF OREN to the imperial theater in order to ask questions, of whatever kind, of each candidate.

     

    As well as inviting all candidates to come and be asked questions, and provide reasonable discussion on what they plan to do!

    And to those brave enough,

    To those worthy of respect,

    I invite to a one-on-one boxing match.

     

    WHERE?:

    Imperial Theater (Styrne Alley 1)

     

    WHEN?:

    THIS SUNDAY,

    4pm CST, RIGHT AFTER THE WAR CLAIM!


     

    Once again, I, Ben Jones, directly address YOU, fellow Alderman candidate. I ask you, if you are such a coward who cannot face me in a boxing match or talk to your voters, what right have you to be a member of the leadership in this city?

    PROVE YOUR WORTH! Show up, talk to people! Have a night of FUN TIMES!


    (THIS WILL BE AN RP BOXING EVENT)

     

    4

    City Aldermen Elections

    in Law and Legislation

    Posted

    1. Full name of the candidate: Ben Jones

      2. Age of the candidate: 52(? I think? might be 53 by now)

      3. Street address of the candidate: Crestfall Court 4

      4. Is the candidate a noble? No (Though, was named the official Baron of Fun by Eryane in vc)

    1

    Chrothic News Network

    in Miscellany

    Posted

    Welcome to Chrothic News.

    The premier news network in all of LOTC forums history.

    We plan on covering topics ranging from the hottest new social trends,

    to the most deadly tragedies in lotc,

    to rampant crime on lotc,

    and much,
    much more.

     

    Stay around, and you'll be treated to the intensely researched and fact checked news of Chrothic News Network.

    (Serious posts will be marked by a red text above it)

    ChrothicNewsNetwork.png.38eb36b830432940fd4f89e86c3853a5.png

     Orenian Clowns Kidnap Local Cat?
    Read on to find out the truth!

    Spoiler

    L

    Early this July, near the seventeenth, an Orenian Clown/Baron will be seen stealing a local cat, whisking it away to an unknown location, known only by other clowns, called the Clownhouse.

    This Clown/Baron, going by the name, "Clown Baron Baron Clown", used his Orenian sponsored Clownmobile to drive by the cat, and pick it up.

    Local Clowns when questioned by Chrothic News responded by saying the following:
    "Ah-hyuck, yeppers, we was plannin this fer a long time fella, ahahah *HONK*"

    The whereabouts of the to be kidnapped cat are currently unknown, as it has not been kidnapped yet.

    Orenian authorities gave a statement on the matter, saying that:
    "There is simply no need to be alarmed, this "Clown Baron Baron Clown" hasn't even been spotted in Oren, and he certainly hasn't stolen a cat."

    This ignorance on behalf of Orenian authorities is, to put it simply, why nobody thinks they even exist.

    More updates will follow, especially as the crime's due date closes in.

    ChrothicNewsNetwork.png.ea926053d4415d8d590eae69cccba1cc.pngThis post has been approved by Chrothic News Networking

    4

    JONESCO IMPERIAL GEL

    in The Kingdom of Oren

    Posted · Edited by Chrothic
    added youtube link

    2 hours ago, Legoclub22 said:

    ATTENTION

    ALL JONES CO. 00a9.png CUSTOMERS WHO HAVE RECENTLY PURCHASED IMPERIAL GEL 2122.png

    THE FOLLOWING WARNINGS ARE ISSUED FOR ALL IMPERIAL GEL PRODUCTS

     

    Fire Warning

    Imperial Gel is highly combustible and should be handled with extreme care and kept away from open flames at all times when not being used as a contained fuel source. To avoid the risk of explosion or uncontrollable burning, do not ignite more than 2 tablespoons of Imperial Gel. Gel may remain combustible even after it is dry. To avoid the risk of ignition, dried Imperial Gel should be sprayed with large amounts of water.

    Consumption Warning

    Imperial Gel may contain animal produce and inorganic ingredients. Imperial Gel is not vegan, vegetarian, organic, or unprocessed. Imperial Gel may cause severe allergic reactions in some individuals. Imperial Gel may cause skin, eye, nose, mouth, throat, and other irritation. For best results, Imperial Gel is advised for external use only. Consumption of Imperial Gel may cause diarrhea, vomiting, dehydration, lightheadedness, bone fatigue, muscle cramps, and gas. Imperial Gel is not food.

    Adhesion Warning

    Imperial Gel often becomes extremely sticky when drying. Drying Imperial Gel may be dangerous to pets, wildlife, other animal, and small children. Imperial Gel should be disposed of responsibly by dissolving in water. Imperial Gel should be stored in a cool, dry place within a sealed container. Imperial Gel is not suitable for marine use. Imperial Gel used for fashion purposes must be allowed to dry completely in order to risk unwanted adhesion. With Imperial Gel, less is always more. Be conservative with application of Imperial Gel to prevent disastrous adhesion scenarios.

    Lubricant Warning

    Imperial Gel is extremely slippery. Imperial Gel can be hazardous when applied to floors, stairs, ramps, other walking surfaces, or hand rails. Never attempt to traverse a surface covered in Imperial Gel. When used as a lubricant, Imperial Gel should be reapplied several times a day for best results.

    "FEARMONGERING AND SLANDER! The inquisition wont get away with this, not on my watch!"

     

    JONESCO PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

    THERE IS NO DANGER WHATSOEVER IN USING IMPERIAL GEL!
    FACT: ALL HAIR GEL IS FLAMMABLE
    FACT: ALL LUBRICANT IS SLIPPERY
    FACT: ALL GLUE STICKS
    FACT: IMPERIAL GEL IS COMPLETELY SAFE TO EAT
    FACT: JONESCO IMPERIAL GEL HAS NO UNIQUE DANGERS THAT DID NOT ALREADY EXIST IN PRODUCTS OF THE SAME CALIBER


    In the end, it is up to the consumer to weigh the risks of the product they use, and JonesCO Imperial Gel has no additional dangers than any other hair, food, lubricant, or cleaning product, and in comparison, is far safer than any other product on their own, let alone combined.

    Edit: 

    Spoiler

     

     

    3
×
×
  • Create New...